Franklin D. Roosevelt
Franklin D. "Digiorno" Roosevelt was the 32nd President of the United States, and is renowned for single handedly winning World War II, using his legs to suffocate enemy combatants.
Born January 30th, 1882 in Hyde Park, New York, Franklin was wealthy the second he came out the womb. Some would say this is luck, but they just refuse to see just how awesome FDR is.
Although he was mainly home-schooled until the age of 14, he did attend Public school in Germany for some reason at the age of 9, where he earned the nickname "Frankie-D." Here he made enemies with Adolf Hitler by making fun of his crappy stick-figure drawings he made in math class. Hitler vowed vengeance, to which Franklin replied with "Yeah, what are you gonna do, retard?"
FDR had attempted to run for president in 1900, despite only being 18 years old and not reaching any qualifications. He managed to receive 2 votes, one from himself and the other from a homeless person he slipped 50 cents to on election day.
After witnessing the bloodiest conflict in history at the time, World War I, FDR realized how hilarious politics were and wanted to get involved.
After Japan sent their bomber(man) planes to Hawaii, Mr. Franklin ordered for more A-bombs to be dropped. He also made a friend by the name of Winston Churchill. Churchill went into his room one fateful morning, then FDR shouted "I got an idea, Churchy!" (Churchill was naked at this time.) That didn't stop Churchill from hearing his words. Churchill seemingly decided that he loved that idea. However, before he could execute the plan, he needed to get dressed. Only Uncyclopedians would want to see him naked!