Franklin D. Roosevelt

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, sometimes known as Fucking Dickhead Roosevelt , or Friendly Drunk Racist was the 32nd President of the United States, and is renowned for single handedly winning World War II, using his legs to suffocate enemy combatants.

Early life[edit | edit source]

Proof that FDR's parents were Discord Moderators. (His legs worked back then)

Born January 36th, 1882 in Croydon, London, Franklin was wealthy the second he came out the womb. Some would say this is luck, but they just refuse to see just how awesome FDR is.

Although he was mainly home-schooled until the age of 14, he did attend Public school in Germany for some reason at the age of 9, where he earned the nickname "Frankie-D." Here he made enemies with Adolf Hitler by making fun of his crappy stick-figure drawings he made in math class. Hitler vowed vengeance, to which Franklin replied with "Yeah, what are you gonna do, retard?" Hitler didn’t take this lightly, so he decided to invade Poland, this upset Francis a lot as his betting accumulator had Poland to score over 2.5 goals.

FDR had attempted to run for president in 1900, despite only being 18 years old and not reaching any qualifications. He managed to receive 2 votes, one from himself and the other from a homeless person he slipped 50 cents to on election day.

Franklin then began courting his child-acquaintance and fifth cousin once removed, Eleanor Roosevelt, a niece of Theodore Roosevelt. In 1903 Franklin proposed to Eleanor, and after resistance from his mother, they were married on March 17, 1905 ^[1]. After their wedding Franky and Anor decided to honeymoon in the Congo, spreading the word of their Lord and saviour Freddie Mercury.

Political career[edit | edit source]

After witnessing the bloodiest conflict in history at the time, World War I, FDR realized how hilarious politics were and wanted to get involved.

During the early days of his presidency he simply sat in his chair and at midnight he would emit a loud fanfare and let out a screech that could be heard across the entire country. "IT IS THE (day number of presidency) OF MY PRESIDENCY," he would exclaim joyously, "PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR HOLIDAY PLANS TODAY AS AT PLEASES ME TO READ THEM!"

After Japan sent their bomber(man) planes to Hawaii, Mr. Franklin ordered for more A-bombs to be dropped. He also made a few friends by the names of British Bulldog and Uncle Joe Stalin. Churchill went into his room one fateful morning, then FDR shouted "I got an idea, Churchy!" (Churchill was naked at this time.) That didn't stop Churchill from hearing his words. Churchill seemingly decided that he loved that idea. However, before he could execute the plan, he needed to get dressed. Only Uncyclopedians would want to see him naked!