Hungary

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~ Viktor Orbán on this page

Fagyarország Hun-gyuri Hungry
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Hungry? Why Wait? Eat the Gypsies before they eat our babies and kittens and steal our money."
Anthem: Don't try to pronounce it, you'll just hurt yourself" (formerly "Wiener-Schnitzel-Lied")
Capital	Keleti Station, Transit Zone (formerly Pornóapáti)
Largest city	Ulán Gyáva
Official language(s)	Crazy Backward Talk.
Government	dicktatorship
King	Theodor Herzl
‑ Queen	Anita Blond
‑ Dicktator and Jester	Viktor Orbán
National Hero(es)	Goulash;Soproni beer;various Romanian traitors
Declaration  of Independence	894 on Earth, ?? on Sirius
Currency	Flock (HUF)
Religion	Orbánism
Major exports	Gypsies, Trianon Terrorists, Nationalists, Porn, Morons, Brandy
Major imports	Money of European Union and IMF
Hours of  operation	Mon to Sat: 0600-2300 Sun: CLOSED (partially)

The Kleptocratic Republic of Hungary is a foreign nation located between Botswana, Yuckraine, Thirsty, Romania and The Country Formerly Known As The Soviet Union, in Central Europe. Despite its name, the country doesn't suffer from famine. The river Danube runs through the center, disecting the city of Budapest into the warring city-states of Buda and Pest. Hungary's main exports are paprika, sand, some dances by Brahms, and roofing nails. The people of Hungary are called Munchies. Hungary is not to be confused with starving.

Symbols

Flag

The Flag of Hungary is often defaced with "Open" when placed on Italian restaurants,probably because people are hungry.

The Hungarian national flag was used in the revolutions of 1848, 1918, 1956 and 1989, when the Hungarians were protesting the lack of good Unicum, apothecaries, vodka and Rubik's Cubes, respectively. The design is symbolic: green represents absinthe, white represents bedsheets, and red represents wine; together they tell the stirring history of Hungary's national origins.

Coat of arms

The Hungarian coat of arms actually happens to be identical to that of one of Hungary's largest breweries, the Borsodi brewery. The Hungarian government and the brewery have been battling for years over which actually came first: the country of Hungary, or the brewery itself. Both sides insist that they are right, and neither will give an inch. President of the Borsodi brewery, Viktor Orbán, could not be reached for comment.

History

“Продолжайте хорошую работу ”

~ Eisenhower tells the Soviets to clear off from Hungary

Hungarians are beautiful people. Their arch enemies are the Romanians, very interesting people, descendants of orcs. Here is a portrait of an average Romanian man/woman.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, King Bela I forced his tribe of vampires and trained telemarketers to settle into the flattest place they could find, which eventually (through careful corporate mergers and acquisitions) conglomerated into Hungary, or the Paprika Empire. This is the foundation for its modern legacy as porn capital of the world.

Hungary disappeared from the face of the earth between WW1 and WW2. Some say that it was lost behind the couch, but most agree that it was stolen by Gypsies before we could re-steal it back. No one noticed their disappearance until the production of erotic movies was shut down and the French protested.

Following the French protest, Hungary was rediscovered by an alert passerby who noticed it sticking out of the trunk of an abandoned car. It was reinstated, but it was fined several million square miles of land for being on the wrong side of WW2. The removed land was surgically grafted onto Hawaii, who later lost it in a Chess game.

More recently, Hungary has been attempting to conquer the world, but thus far has only succeeded in conquering several inconsequential internet message boards. This has been widely exploited, however, and every Hungarian is moderator on at least 2.367 message boards......

Hungry

In 1444, the Gypsies had a hunger famine which caused them to invade Hungary. The Gypsy leader, Żadnej Kupy, starved to death after.

The Great Migration

A beautiful mountain in the west est side of Hungary

On 26 April 1986 forces of the dark ninja lord Shredder overran the small happy communist town of Chernobyl, blowing up their peaceful nuclear reactor that was used to make nuclear warheads. This was the trigger for the great migration of Chernobylans now known as Hungry'ans - so named because they were hungry all the time. After the explosion, the Chernobylans mutated into Ninja Turtles who began to search the ocean in order to mate with the "Evil Ninja Turtles From Space". In the end the poor mutated turtles didn't find the ocean and they found only Hungary. It was wide flat and rather moist...and they settled there. "The Great Leader of the Mutated Turtles" realised that he and the rest were very veeery hungry and they devoured all they could find in the area. That's why nobody can find any mountains, or anything higher than a turtle's knee in the Pannonian Plains. They decided to call the place where they settled Hungry'a, but with time it became Hungary.

Politics

The current Hungarian President

Hungary is governed by a code known as the laws of physics, which prohibits its inhabitants from falling off the Earth's surface and requires them to dedicate their lives to physics and eat goulash. The selective exporting of these laws to other countries generates most of Hungary's revenue.

The king of Hungary is selected to be the one with the most unpronounceable name. The current king is mathematician Sződzsos Lengles, making Hungary one of only two countries ruled by a machine. It is the first country of the new era called the matrix when all men will be ruled by machines.

There are 3.1415926... houses of parliament. Sqrt(2) of them are under supervision of the king, cos(36) houses belong to the physicians.

Economy

The economy of Hungary relies mostly on the export of physics and porn. In 1961, Nikola Tesla attempted to combine the two, creating the first known instance of pr0n.

In recent times, Hungary has also received huge royalties for the production of mathematicians, especially from The Country Formerly Known As The Soviet Union. The underground economy is so good that they have great amounts of underground. They use the underground for the baby hungarian hatchlings that need to be kept underground in order to be underground. Furthermore, Hungarians are the inventors of the nuke and the hydrogen bomb, too. Without this country, Japan would be overpopulated!! Can you believe?

Hungary is a leading exporter of illiterate historians, all of Romanian descent. Their biggest errors include not considering Transylvania a part of Hungary, claiming that Hungarians are of savage Mongolian descent, and constantly misusing semicolons.

Hungary is the second richest country in the world after Ethiopia where the average wage is the equivalent of $10 per month but as money hasn't been invented yet in Hungary all workers are paid in Paprika and Palinka. Even after paying 97% in tax the magyars still have enough left over to buy expensive sports cars (Suzuki Swift).

Culture

Were You Aware?

Hungarians like to refer to themselves as Magyars and their country as Magyarország, probably coming from the Romanian word "magar" (meaning donkey). The also speak a gibberish sexy language they made up called Magyar that attracts even the "magari" (donkeys) if pronounced correctly. We call it Hungarian because we are retarded. But we all know it's complete bullshit it makes female genitalia extremely moist, and Romanians jealous.

Drinks

Hungarians are huge alcoholics, they make alcohol out of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING:

• Grapes? Sure!

• Plums? Yup!

• Kiwi? Yup (and i dont mean the fruit, they make it out of the bird)

• Your grandma's ashes? Sure thing!

• Blood? Of course!

• Milk? Yup, they make alcohol out of that too somehow.

As you can see, they make alcohol out of everything.

Food

“I don't want any food. I am Hungry”

~ Hungary on itself

“Why should I care if you're hungry? How does that even matter??”

~ An American in Hungary on a Hungarian in Hungary

Music

Hungarians like good music. Famous Bands in Hungary:

• Edda Művek,
• Ámokfutók,
• Das Balaton Combo,
• Kozmix (really, mate, do not listen to them!)
• Belga,
• Depresszió,
• Anima sound system,
• Tankcsapda,
• Zanzibar,
• Kispál és a Borz,
• The Flying Paprikas,
• Gene Simmons

Hungypsy King shows all other gypsies from neighbouring countries how it's done.

Sport

“Ethiopia were pissed off with the world cup draw. They were hoping to draw Turkey but got Hungary instead.”

~ Sickipedia on best failed joke

The most well known athlete of modern times is Zsolt Baumgartner, admired all around the world for his impressive racing skills. Hungarians are also world beaters at football, dragon boat racing and chess. Undefeated Hungarian boxer Zsolt Erdei recently impressed fans yet again, knocking out Romania's top boxer Nicolae Guta in the first 5 seconds of the fight with a devastating hook to the left nipple.

Language

Hungarian is notable mostly due to the fact that the Hungarian phrase for "I would like to buy some tobacco" translates literally into English as "I will not buy this record, it is scratched". This leads to a lot of confusion for Hungarians in foreign countries especially near the downfall of the British Empire when a surprising number of Hungarians were present in the streets of the UK.

Famous Hungarians

• 50 Cent half Hungarian, half 9 millimeter bullets
• Béla Bartók, refugee and perhaps the greatest Hungarian guitarist ever
• Cicciolina, porn actress
• Zsuzsanna Clark, Soviet-era comic writer and British exile
• Árpád Fogarasi, nuclear bunker builder, good worker
• Bill Gates
• Richard Gere, alias Gere Richárd
• Harry Houdini, physicist, inventor of teleportation
• Billy Joel, piano tuner
• Lajos Kossuth, hero
• Ash Ketchum, some boy, probably famous for something
• Franz Liszt, a bad musician and a playboy
• Béla Lugosi, an indestructible vampire
• Sándor Márai, a famous writer
• Viktor Orbán, clown
• Ferenc Puskás, footballer
• Nicolas Sarkozy, politician
• Alexander Szalacsi, speaker, a great mind
• Edward Teller, peace warrior
• József Torgyán, local comedian
• George Soros, worked a minimum wage job, but still gave all his money to charity

See also

• Africa
• Asia
• Great Hungary
• Paprika, Hot Pepper, Pepperoni
• UFOs
• Orks

References

Magyarság

People Franz Liszt • Béla Lugosi • Viktor Orbán • Harry Houdini • 50 Forint • Béla Bartók • Nelson from The Simpsons Ha ha! Culture Hungarian language • Secret, scrotum-kicking Hungarians that come out of nowhere in the dark

Atilla's Barca Lounger * Buda's Place * The Hungarian Province of Romania * Zolton's Paprika Palace * Bull's Slaughter of Eger

Countries of Europe