From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“But hey, don't worry, there's plenty of more joints all over this country when we see them on another episode of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!”

~ Ambassador of Flavortown
DDD flag.jpg
Motto: "Flavah Flavah for my people, people!"
Anthem: (Intro to Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives)
Flavortown map.png
Capital Flavortown
Official language(s) -English
Government Monarchy
National Hero(es) Guy Fieri, Ambassador of Flavortown
Established July 4th, 1776
Currency Ketchup packets

Flavortown, unlike what many others interpret it to be, is mirrored world of the United States of America, where the King of Flavor rules supreme. Flavortown was modernized by the Ambassador of Flavortown with the show: Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives to promote tourism.


Flavortown is separated by eleven different districts according to the most popular foods of the region, with no relation to any kind of spice combinations whatsoever.

  • The Undecided district remains undecided because of many turf wars going on in the region, with various Gang members all trying to persuade political personnel to make the region theirs.
  • The Southern BBQ district was created after Applebees Lincoln emancipated all the corn kernel slaves from harsh labor in 1864. After many generations of African American slaves struggling to sustain themselves, they resorted to indian spices and meat to keep them living.
  • The Gumbo district was created by a merging French dominance between Steak district and Southern BBQ district, in which they decided to put every meat they had into a Soup. Absolutely disgusting.
  • The Steak district emerged when cattle ranchers sought to profit from the emerging Canadian export, Canadian Candied Bacon, with 200% more Beef. Over time, they realized they had a monopoly on the cattle business, and over more time created the biggest steaks in the known universe with artificial growth hormones.
  • The Buffalo Wings district was the Wild West in terms of flavors. Wild Chili peppers dominated the flora, with the most precious meat roaming out in the Great Plains: The wing of a Buffalo. Many Native Americans, when not intoxicated, held many tribal rituals celebrating the spirituality of the buffalo, and how important they were to them. That is until President Cashew Jackson ordered all of them to be slaughtered, and now they remain as urban legends.
  • The Seafood district was founded by the lack of apex predators slaughtering a minimum of five men every time they went out to hunt. So an undisturbed population went out to the sea to try out new exotic flavors. Instead, they got fish.
  • The Bear district primarily eats off of bears. Cold climates evolved the nearby Buffalo and bison to honey ravaging fuckers that have more fat in them than a candle. What else are you going to eat? Grass? What are you, an omnivore?
  • The French Fry district, or more commonly known, the French Fries district, is where the first French Fry was created. Mashed potatoes were then created when the original creator, Ronald McDonald, heard that France was a country, and a wild bear was cheating on his wife.
  • The California district is yet to have an official food allocated to the region. Although many reports claim that in the up-and-coming elections held for the California district will result in a Chicken Nugget district, in honor of the 1749 Nugget Gold Rush of Burger King.
  • The Pizza and Philly Cheese Steak district have been opposing factions since the early days of Flavortown history. The Philly Cheese Steak district was founded first with the creation of the Sandwich, while many Italian oppressors created their own, flatter sandwich, later called the Pizza.


Sandwich "Benjamin" Franklin and his motto of Philly Cheese Steak district.

Flavortown was founded under Great Britain as a colony to export more spices than the entire tech support of India. After claiming Independence on June 4th, 1775, Flavortown fought in a long and hard food fight that eventually earned them their freedom. Under new guidance by George Washingmachine, the country aimed to create new flavors for the entire nation to enjoy. But things weren't so pretty after Sandwich Franklin and Alexander Toppington clashed in a rigorous turf war that would claim thousands of lives, and will still be fought to this day. After the invention of the Sandwich, Italian immigrants rallied up with Mr.Toppington to prove how their food would be better than theirs. They started by taking that sandwich and covering it in tomato sauce and cheese and serving it as a new dish. Over time, the sandwich got flatter and more circular by the demand for more of them in the battle lines to protect Italian soldiers from being impaled by the issued Club Sandwich Mk.II Lance the Philly Cheese Steak district used. After some time with the import of slaves to work in corn fields, eventually, they had to be freed due to the popcorn terrorist attacks that sprung up over the country. With a workforce now freed, the entire South's cuisine would be redefined. With the introduction of pork and the newly invented biscuits, many African Americans took to work, aiming to create a fortune off of the new products. The Classic A1 sauce was created in Alabama after the influx of black entrepreneurs begging for people to buy their food, with the common phrase: Ayyy, only one man! Buy at least one! The Wild West was then founded after a sudden mutation on pigs that gave them horns and more muscles. After the new pigs created a monopoly for Texan ranchers, many people then sought after new meat: Wings. Buffalo only carry two wings, with the other meat being unable to digest. Also, Native Americans, but no one really cares about them, they kinda just moved to Oklahoma. The French Fry region was created as a barrier between the Bear region after many scientists agreeing that a bear's weakness was the common potato, which would cause a critical hit when thrown at them.

Ambassador of Flavortown[edit]

The Ambassador of Flavortown as he takes his inaugural pictures.

The most well-known resident of Flavortown would be the Ambassador, Guy Fieri. But many people few know of his origin. It is commonly believed that Guy Fieri was born into this world, but many scientists disproved that theory with various studies. The Ambassador of Flavortown was created into existence when the first freed slave created the first Biscuits with Gravy in the South. Guy Fieri proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of the man to take a bite out of his meal, only to rate it a 4.6 out of 10 on the flavor scale. "Needed some more gravy" was his iconic phrase and campaign slogan. After this historic landmark, Guy Fieri would then roam the earth for the most flavorful and exotic foods until the eventual heat death of the universe. His second most iconic tale was the time he drove down Route 66, and was transported into our world.

Portal between Flavortown and Our World[edit]

The portal between our world and Flavortown is Route 66. The reason is that the Route sits right next to Satan's anus (California), and the churches of the South, so that the portal is literally in Purgatory. This "belt" is commonly known as the Rift of Flavor and can be heard in many hippie songs in the 80s. If anyone dares want to enter Flavortown, they would have to follow this formula (posted on the right) to enter. With k representing how many mustard bottles you keep in the trunk of your car. As guessed, Guy Fieri can easily go into Flavortown, but only when he drives a red car and stares into the camera. If he fills his trunk with ketchup bottles, he only has a 50% chance of entering the rift.

The formula calculated for an average person's chance to enter Flavortown.