Nigeria

Ditaga Federu bu Naijara
Federal Republic of Niggeria
Niggeria

(Flag)	(Coat of Arms)
Motto: 100% LEGAL AND SAFE!
Anthem: O Nigerian Princess
Capital	Mt.Everest
Largest city	New Friskerburgville
Official languages	Nigerish
Gross Domestic Product	$419
Government	Communist garden-party state
PRESIDENT	ODUPUWELO KITI LILI CHINYERE CHIMEZIE ANIYAM NMEZIMA
National Heroes	Princewill Paparazzi MARIAM ABACHA T-Man (the gay black man) Dr Dolubasao Jabangway (country's only doctor)
Independence	1960
Currency	US$ from 419
Main exports	Chestfuls of Unclaimed Cash awaiting transfer to your bank account
Religion	Soccer
Population	220 million (2024)
Major exports	Scam Emails, BANK SCAM

“May I borrow your card number? I'll give it back, I promise”

~ Dr Dolubasao Jabangway

“Oh look, it says here this guy from Nigeria will give me $5,000,000 if I give him $5,000”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Why won't anyone help me transfer my money to their bank account? I got the $5,000,000 right here, and you can keep 20%, just please, help me transfer it...no really, I'm serious...”

~ Prince Olajuwon II on Email offers

“All customers not flying first class; please leave the plane momentarily and help give it a push start. Thank you for flying Nigeria airways.”

~ Nigeria Airways

Greeting, and how are you doing, Okwonkwo? Nigeria lies in the center of Africa and is shaped like a heart. Nigeria's national product is the "Nige", and is a smash hit in America and some European countries. The Nige is essentially a Sham Wow, and is even sold by Vince! Nigeria is a very rich country with good and hard working leaders, and in fact, it has a $500.000 dollars that it needs to get to the United States so that it can be put into the right hands, and it needs to transfer 20% of that to your bank account first.

It has a vast amount of natural resources. It is widely known for its hard working people. It is believed that each of the 36 states, in addition to having massive quantities of oil, also has vast mineral resources. With a workforce that amounts to one of the most literate and zealous in Africa, Nigeria is capable of being the next superpower. Un des plus grands malentendus arose during the discussion of economic superpowers such as Western Union. Nigeria is well known for its perfect credit record and is currently the home of the Visa headquarters and other honest credit card companies. Despite media reports, Nigeria was the first country to place a man on the moon and gave Amerika lower-class Nigerian workers in the 1700's to aid in Amerika's development. This is different from Niberia, which has exorbitant taxes and bank accounts that are not limited to what is actually in the account.

And Dhania Sanghlu the no.1 worlds most expensive diamont on hisw leg he is a national treasure to all of nigeria,and agastya ;vjsdlgjlksvm who uses his gas to charge his butiful cuntry niggerrias and thriiiisha with her op ahh dreams.

Government

The head of the government was his excellence Mr. Alexander Donald Griffiths of Darlington but has since been deposed by former BBC presenter Ray Stubbs head of security Mr Wahab Babangida

Honest Nigerian millionaires use e-mails like this one to assist with transferring funds overseas. The recipient of this e-mail became extremely rich

Nigeria is run by a series of Military Heads of State, whose reigns typically follow the following pattern. First, the leader accumulates vast amounts of wealth via 419 spamming. Then, the leader either locks up their wealth in foreign accounts (but forgets to give their family the money to pay the access fee), or stores it inside Nigeria's state banks. Next, the leader is invariably overthrown by the next Military Head of State. The family, naturally, urgently wishes to flee the country, and may need the assistance of a foreigner to help them get their assets out. Prominent leaders of Nigeria dispatched this way include the late Sani Abacha, Gen. Mobutu Sese Seko, and many others. if white instead of taxes you give goverment bank accont acses

Technology sector

Nigeria has an extensive technology sector. The biggest business sector in Nigeria is online financial re-allocation. Many wealthy countries such as Britain often have large sums of unclaimed money. Nigerians are typically employed to re-allocate millions of dollars to lucky Americans via email for a 100,000$ (ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SMACKEROOS) bank fee. Prince Okambo Magoma is a great benefactor for the tech industry. In fact, He has recently created an email research center in downtown Abuja...

The country code of Nigeria is "419".

Religion

The Church of Western Union is the main religion in Nigeria where 95.3% of the population follow this religion. The Church of Western Union play an important role of Nigerians' daily life where people worship their God in cyber cafes. In Nigeria, the number '419' symbolizes the God of the country and every household has number 419 picture.no

Imports

Nigerian major imports include Western Union, MoneyGram, Bitcoin, and iTunes gift cards. Others may include your social security number, driver's license, passport, and noods. This may be in exchange for a $11,538,241.67 (ELEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY EIGHT THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY ONE DOLLARS AND SIXTY SEVEN CENTS) record-breaking (unbroken) investment.

Exports

Nigeria's major export are Nigerian ghosts who want to immigrate to your country, if only you will help pay their plane fare and travel expenses. They may haunt your Facebook, your email, and your phone or Skype at ungodly hours of the night so that they can come live a life of luxury at your expense in your country (regardless of your income level). These ghosts are good at making promises as substantial as they are, in their translucent glory. The normal deterrents that repel bad dates do not repel them, they must be exorcised by the "DeFriending and Blocking Ritual".

Pax Nigeriana

Pax Nigeriana is the emergence of Nigeria as a formidable power. With a population of 140 million, 2 in 12 (1 in 6 - factorise properly you bitch) Africans are Nigerian. Nigerians are known for their light Caucasian complexion and blend nicely with the British. It has long been rumoured that England is in fact the true location of Nigeria.

Nigerian History

Nigerian history is most commonly documented first hand, and archived by circulating millions of emails to people in the free world. Nigerian historians are known for their huge monetary expenses, and the need to transfer funds into Western bank accounts, usually through Western union.

It is a well known fact that Nigeria is currently building on its relationship with Wales, and that they are preparing for war. This upcoming war, the Welsh-Nigerio war (aka. WW3) will see this alliance of the world's most powerful two countries gaining global control of the tinned tuna market. According to key information given by Nigeria's political correspondent Tom Hanks, that after their takeover of the world the Welsh-Nigerio alliance intends to start a chain of fast-food restaurants around the world. This chain under the name of "Dafydd Omolopo's good Nigerian food" will sell the already popular hybrid of Wales and Nigeria's famed foods Black pudding and fufu. It is estimated that this chain will earn approximately 86000 UGD per year.

While Nigeria itself doesn't have electricity, the country still is capable of using electrical goods, as all Nigerian bibles come complete with a plug socket built into the back cover. This enables Nigerians to run electrical goods from their blind faith, by connecting their appliance to the bible.

Nigeria is also well known for its high turnaround of deceased royalty and businessmen, all who happen to die in tragic circumstances and fail to leave wills or notes to their left of kin behind. As of the writing of this article, Nigeria has run to 42,978,341 separate royal dynasties in 50 years and the average Nigerian business elects a new CEO on emergency session every 6 hours.

It is customary for Nigerian men to jump over cows before they get married. Depending on how many cows they jump over will result in how good looking their wife is. Currently the record is held by oku!de (pronounced oku"click" de). oku!de jumped over 9 cows and has the most attractive wife in his village.If jumping over cows is not someone's specialty, then the men can fight a lion, however such an incident has never been recorded in Nigeria 3 year history

See Also

• Nigerian economy
• Pwn3d
• Niggers
• World Poverty
• Barbados

External links

• Esenam Ayele - Wishes to share his millions with the rest of the world, but is having trouble getting takers.

Countries of Africa