West Timor

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The color red represents the martyred blood of our brave comrades.

The Democratic People's Republic of West Timor, often acronymized as DPRWT, is a glorious, proud country located west of the uncivilized, savage land known as East Timor. Founded by Shang-el-too on December 14, 2002 after a victorious coup against the oppressive western imperialist country of Indonesia, West Timor has since become a great, bountiful nation of many proud citizens. December 14 is now a major holiday known as, "Celebration of Mass Joy!", where proud West Timorese men have a joyous celebration. West Timor is a rich and plentiful country, with many hundreds of millions of rupiahs in our great vault; our citizens are also equally bountiful in wealth, and they are known to give generously to poor inferior people in other countries! Sadly, the Timor island is split up into two nations, but do not fret, West Timor's great glorious mission is to finally reunite East and West Timor by conquering the inferior people of East Timor, and victoriously destroying their infertile land.

Each and very proud West Timorese citizen follows the great Timorean Ideology, which states: "the people of West Timor are to be submissive to the glorious government of West Timor, who are appointed to lead the great, powerful country of West Timor into victory" This great ideology, formed by the wise and powerful leader, Shang-el-too, has lead the nation through many trials, and has turned West Timor into the greatest country in the world! The great, glorious country has unfortunately been criticized by many evil journalists for "human rights" violations and breaking the "Geneva Convention laws". According to the ideals set by our glorious leader, the West Timor government is allowed to perform acts of victorious pain to infidels, due to them being inferior and therefore not human, and West Timor does not follow any law other than the ideology, which does not include laws about Geneva Conventions.

Proud History![edit | edit source]

The glorious capital building of West Timor was built by enslaved East Timorese who were in no way forced to work; they volunteered.

Our glorious leader and divine majesty, Shang-el-too was "born" of humble origins to a Dutch family of plantation owners. In truth, he was actually born in the heavens and sent down to earth to fulfill his divine destiny of forming West Timor. His parents were disgusting inferior people who did not believe in the ideology because they were filthy, stubborn people, not because the ideology didn't exist yet for them to believe in it. His parents discovered of his mighty power after he struck them down with the power of the nine moons, and escaped from home to follow his destiny. He wanted to avenge Indonesia, who burned his people's home to the ground; he was shocked at the quickness that many of his people forgave the vile Indonesian Imperialists. After discovering the harsh injustice that has fallen on the people of Timor (the people of Timor were deprived of the most important right of all: the right to assemble a new country through bloody war), our great, glorious leader became stricken with victorious anger, and started to prepare for battle.

Victorious Fighting![edit | edit source]

Gathering hundreds of other victoriously angry Timorese men who were forced to live in refugee camps after the evil Indonesians burned their homes to the ground, Shang-el-too led the men and gloriously conquered a weapons stockade, where they killed men, women, and children. After they victoriously slain the blood of the infidel children, on December 14, they headed towards the Dutch plantations, and killed many, many children (the men and women cowardly fled). The slaughtering of the children showed the bravery of the grown men. After the great victory, the men took the mighty infidel stronghold of Kupang, and killed all the infidels, with holy fire and excessive clubbing. Filled with victorious feelings, the men celebrated the first "Celebration of Mass Joy!". Our great and glorious leader set up the new government, and founded the glorious nation of West Timor. He later, with the inspiration of the nine moons, formed the great West Timor ideology. After the first glorious democratic election, which was in no way whatsoever rigged or staged, an unprecedented 159% of voters chose Shang-el-too to be their glorious leader. Within hours, he turned the fledgling nation into a rich and wealthy country! Many more people moved into the glorious nation to populate the country for many generations to come. The country of West Timor has since become the envy of the world, with many other inferior countries eyeing our rich oil supplies, and our beautiful, fertile soil.

Proud People![edit | edit source]

A West Timorese man stretching after a hard day at work farming.

In only a few months, the population of West Timor has reached over 36,000, which means 36,000 men, women, and children, who will lead the nation into victory! The West Timorese are proud and amiable people who are obedient to the wishes of our eternal leader and divine majesty, Shang-el-too. Unlike the inferior, obese men in the land of America, West Timorese men are hardworking, strong, and take care of their inferior wives. The men also punish their wives for being disobedient through severe flogging, a practice that is unnaturally frowned upon in inferior lands. West Timorese women are good wives, obedient to their husband's every whim (in bed), good in housekeeping and cooking, and are very fertile. Unlike other countries who don't care about the fertility of their women, the West Timorese men prize their women's ability to give birth to more men.

The People's Bountiful Wealth![edit | edit source]

The West Timorese people are very rich and generous people who give to the needy and poor inferior people of other countries. Because of their hard work, all West Timorese citizens are rich and bountiful in money. People in West Timor are also very healthy and pleasant looking because of the purity of the West Timorese genes; the people of West Timor live especially long due to being given longevity by the Nine Full Moons. The men are handsome and are most excellent at fertilizing women with their seed. West Timor citizens are a also a very happy people: even after a hard day of farming, West Timorese people still have time to celebrate their glorious heritage! The children of West Timor are the most educated, disciplined, and loyal in all the world. Because of the numerous schools across the country, the children of West Timor are taught a variety of subjects, such as how to glorify Shang-el-too, how to celebrate their proud heritage, the virtues of the Great Ideology, and the importance of the government in running their daily lives and beliefs! There is even a career day when the government chooses each and every future child's career; many children fear being the dreaded "shit picker"!

Proud Economy![edit | edit source]

A helpful poster telling citizens to, "Help support West Timorese Workers Today!" by becoming one.

West Timor's economy supersedes all the other nation's economies! With our many fine oil fields that dot the landscape, and our many, many farmers and workers gloriously producing pig iron, West Timor's economy is the envy of all nations, even evil imperialist nations such as Indonesia. Importing and exporting billions of rupiahs worth of products, West Timor is an economic hub, with over two trading partners worldwide; West Timor's main seaports Atamba and Kupang, are the envy of the sea: even the evil citizens of Singapore, who so eagerly adopted the vile western traditions, envy the cities because of their vast wealth! West Timor's main imports are weapons (to arm the glorious drafted army of West Timor), and nuclear weapon components, secretly smuggled from the vile, non-ideology following nations in the middle east; good for us! If we didn't smuggle the nuclear weapon components, they would have surely done something horrible with them, like not bombing East Timor. West Timor's main exports are pig iron and salvaged scrap metal.

Evil Westerners[edit | edit source]

Some evil westerners question why West Timor is so bountiful in wealth. They think to themselves, "how does a nation like West Timor, who do not worship the all powerful god of capitalism, become so magnificently wealthy?" The westerner may think forever and never find the answer, because West Timor's wealth lies not in vile Capitalism, but in the glorious, hardworking people, who continue to keep West Timor the number one country in all of Earth! Unlike other vile nations, who's people are horrifically obese, and have many sexual intercourses with their idols, Mickey Mouse, Bart Simpson, and the Justin Beiber, West Timor's people are hardworking, and proud. But the greatest reason why West Timor is so bountiful in Wealth is because of Shang-el-too, and the glorious government, that so carefully continues to nurture the bountiful country in wealth and size!

Proud Culture![edit | edit source]

A glorious celebration indeed!

The country of West Timor has a highly varied and diverse culture, with glorious celebration, delicious food rations, and many fine art works and artists sponsored by the Department For The Advancement of West Timor Culture (or DAWTC). West Timor has several celebrations, all glorifying and praising the divine majesty, Shang el-too, for freeing the country from the bonds of the west imperialist country of Indonesia, and forming the great ideology. Food in West Timor is equally vibrant; the wives of West Timorese men are world renowned for their superior dishes, such as steamed goat head soup, and their fine "testis babi rebud pedas" (roughly translated as "spicy boiled pig testicles)! The food of West Timor has been criticized for being primitive and disgusting (such hilarity!) by many infidel food critics, but they were gloriously beheaded in the name of Shang-el-too. The culture of West Timor is superior to all other cultures in the world! All of the world is jealous of West Timor's glorious culture, which vastly supersedes theirs!

The DAWTC Victoriously Shines![edit | edit source]

The DAWTC continues to victoriously advance the great, glorious culture of West Timor by sponsoring artists (to make paintings to glorify Shang-el-too, blessings be upon him), erecting massive statues of our great glorious leader, and creating beautiful propaganda that motivates the people. The DAWTC also sponsors a very popular celebration, known as the Burning of the Infidels, where Shang el-too himself gloriously burns the effigies of the infidel world leaders (the "burning" of the half-white-half black-infidel was met with great praise indeed!). This year, The Burning of the Infidels was met with praise by thousands of eager West Timorese, gloriously watching the "burning" of the infidels.

Vile Detractors[edit | edit source]

East Timor[edit | edit source]

In no way was this picture of the president of East Timor digitally manipulated, as image manipulation is a tool of the infidel!.

The evil, inferior rivals of the glorious country of West Timor, East Timor is occupied by a disgusting people who rebelled and branched off after refusing to follow the commands of the great glorious leader, Shang-el-too. An evil group of former West Timorese, lead by the vile half-man half-demon spawn, Xanana Gusmão, led hundreds of foolish West Timorese and ran for the border, evading the glorious border police, to head East for "freedom". What fools! there is more than enough freedom in West Timor (regulated by the government, of course). After disgustingly refusing to impale themselves (as this was their punishment for rebelling), the horrid people of East Timor formed their own country where they could follow the evil traditions of 'democracy', 'freedom of speech', and worst of all, 'women's suffrage'! What filth; a women voting?! This uprising is an unfortunate stain on the great, victorious, history of West Timor. Sadly, this was West Timor's only defeat; it seemed, to some unfaithful West Timorese, that the Nine Full Moons had failed them, but they were quickly executed, as they might have also rebelled against West Timor.

To this day, our great glorious leader's mission is to finally reunite the Timor Island, and victoriously conquer the lands of East Timor, to make the country of West Timor one again. This great glorious mission will surely end in victory for West Timor, and in defeat for the vile East Timorese. Unfortunately, this glorious mission has had an unfortunate stumbling block: equally vile U.N Peacekeeping Troops, along with the East Timor army, are vehemently guarding the West/East Timor border, and further impeding the glorious conquering of East Timor. Of course they know that they are slowing the inevitable; our vastly superior firepower is able to actually kill humans, a trait not found in inferior countries weaponry. When the glorious Nine Full Moons rises from the horizon in all its beauty, the glorious country of West Timor will finally destroy the East Timorese, and make the the Timor Island one again!

Already, the glorious army of West Timor is preparing several weapons of glorious destruction, victoriously obtained from a former Indonesian weapons supply depot. West Timorese engineers are already replicating the designs of the hydrogen bombs, and reproducing them in mass numbers, so they could be targeted at East Timor. Soon, the infertile farmlands of East Timor will be turned into blackened earth, and only ash and silt will come out of their rain clouds. Very soon, East Timor shall be consumed in a beautiful explosion of light not seen in decades. It shall be a glorious sight to see when the glorious hydrogen bombs victoriously fall to the ground and obliterate everything within a several dozen mile radius! After the fallout subsides and all the East Timorese are darkened skeletons, the Nine Full Moons shall cleanse the infertile land, and give it back to West Timor, in a glorious ray of victorious sunshine!

See Also[edit | edit source]