Limberwisk
“ʢ ʔc𝼆dɮc𝼆 dɮ”
“Limberwisk? Been there before.”
Limberwisk No-Vowel Zone Vwa Chka Chka Chka Chka (or something like that...) | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
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| Motto: Akschj Pwjw Nwj Hk We "love" you, Norway! | |||||
| Anthem: 2 Minutes of Whispering | |||||
 Map of Limberwisk. Up: Limberwisk map with provinces, geographical locations, and cities. Down: Map of Limberwisk with Europe. | |||||
| Capital & Largest City | Alkalai Clow | ||||
| Demonym | Hush (singular) | ||||
| Official language(s) | Hush | ||||
| Currency | Limberwisk krone | ||||
| Population | 900,000 (2018) | ||||
| Time Zone | Central European Standard Time (UTC+1) | ||||
| Ethnic groups |
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| Major exports | Gulba, Snow | ||||
| Major imports | Everything else | ||||
| National sport(s) | The Aurorafestival (It's like Dashcon... but with iceburgs.), Longest Icicle Challenge, Icicle Javelin Competition | ||||
| Drives on | The right, but only through January-July, and on the left through August-December. | ||||
Limberwisk, sometimes referred to as New Greenland, or Lumberwisk, is a Nordic country located on the Arctic Circle, which essentially means it's Siberia 2: Electric Conscription Boogaloo. It borders the Greenland Sea to the west, the Norwegian Sea to the east, and also contains the Cobalt Bay near its capital city of Alkalai Clow. It's Cobalt. Just plain raw Cobalt.
Despite the awesome sounding name of Limberwiskers, the citizens of Limberwisk have never used that term, and have instead used the boring sounding name of Huff—er, I mean Hush. We hope, however, that they call themselves in plural form the Hushers, and not some random word like Kserk. For the sake of this article being somewhat intriguing, we will call them Hushers. Fuck you, nine-hundred thousand people living in Limberwisk if you call yourselves something else!
Ever since the 2018 census, the population of Limberwisk was around nine-hundred thousand people. Unfortunately, we could not get any recent information of the population of Limberwisk, mostly because most people we've "politely" asked to go have refused and have called ourselves slave-owning murderers, and the ones who did accept died of hypothermia.
History[edit | edit source]
Limberwisk was founded a while ago, preferably in November of some year, after the Kahhll people settled on the islands. In the 1100's, Norwegian vikings explored, settled, and subjugated the island. The Hush language was founded after the indigenous Kahhll people tried to camouflage theirselves against the invading Norwegian vikings, and as such, made a language that sounded like the wind. This would cause a split with the Kahhll culture, as the Kallshh culture would later form as a mix of Norwegian and Kahhll. The Norwegians would leave approximately in the 1500's, after they realized that nobody cares.
Disagreement over Jan Mayen and the Limber Wars[edit | edit source]
Overtime, the island of Jan Mayen would enter dispute between the Hush and the Norwegians. This would lead to the three-day long Limber Wars, where Limberwisk sent a guy to claim Beerenburg from the Norwegians, failed miserably, and then died. Norway would cede Beerenburg as an enclave of Limberwisk.
Geography[edit | edit source]
Limberwisk, like the island of Jan Mayen, is a geothermal island located nearby the Eurasian and North American tectonic plates. Many people say that Limberwisk is just an upside-down version of the Kerguelen islands, and well... uh... yeah, they are absolutely correct.
The highest point of the island of Hush is Mount Qaqqaq, which has its highest peak of around 3,800m. It sits right next to Lake Imeq, the main source of the Fryst River, which passes by the only highway in Hush, all the way to the Greenland Sea.
Diet[edit | edit source]
Many Hush people hunt for many animals, excluding whales, because why not. The main fruit of Limberwisk is also their only source of Vitamin C: Gulba. Gulba mostly comes from the island of Fuw, because... uh... er... they felt like it. Gulba only grows during the cold season of Limberwisk, which essentially means about every six months, because it's damn cold there.
Politics[edit | edit source]
Limberwisk is made out of five provinces, those being Mountland, Fjordland, Ujarak Peninsula, Lef, and Fuw. Mountland is self-explanatory, Fjordland has a big highway, Ujarak Peninsula has the capital, Lef is Lef, and Fuw has a lot of Gulba plant. Limberwisk has no political parties, nor do they have elections, because you can't argue if all you can speak is in whispers.
Agreements with Botswana and Tonga[edit | edit source]
After the Second World War, Limberwisk established friendly relations with the countries of Botswana and Tonga, despite both nations being a part of the British Commonwealth at the time. This eventually led to workers from any one of the three countries being able to work in any of the others. Why would anyone work on Limberwisk? Nobody knows, but it's approximately 1 in 50 in the population.
This plan eventually led to the BLT (Bacon Lettuce Tomato) organization being formed, allowing free trade and less economic restrictions between the three countries. Eventually, all 3 countries would make it so travelling to any of the other countries would no longer require a VISA (Virtually Insane System AAAA!!!), and different citizenship laws for the three countries. This led to 2% of the Hush population being Motswanan[1] and Tongan.
Agreements with the European Union[edit | edit source]
Like their friends of Norway and Iceland, Limberwisk did not join the European Union, mostly because Limberwisk wanted to be the man of the north. This does not mean Limberwisk is isolated with the lest of the EU, as they are close trading partners, as Limberwisk is a part of the European Economic Area.
Agreements with Your Father[edit | edit source]
In 2025, Limberwisk made a deal with Your Father to abandon you. This will go to effect on March 11, 2025. Sucks to suck!
Language[edit | edit source]
Limberwisk, wanting to be different, made Hush as a language that had 0 vowels. That's right! 31 letters (26 normal, 5 quick stop (Kind of like Russian with its ь)) to communicate, and none of them are vowels. This came as a way to camouflage their language from the Norwegian invaders, while also being a recognizable language. Today, Hush is taught in Hush and Norwegian schools.
Famous Hushers[edit | edit source]
See also[edit | edit source]
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Yes, Botswanans call themselves Motswanas.
