World War II
| World War II / The Great Yoshi War | |||||||||
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| Belligerents | |||||||||
 Poland ( The Allied Boss, and as any boss just use the mind ... (see the section Poland's Role ).
|  The Greater Yoshi Reich (Wanted to rule the world like the small dino bitches they were and ended up screwing over everyone, they committed shocking war crimes and genocides and established a Copycat Reich)
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| Commanders and leaders | |||||||||
 Harold Straddlebeamer
|  Really Angry German Guy
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| Strength | |||||||||
| Nobody bothered to count | Do you even lift, bro? also Barfing Dinos. | ||||||||
| Casualties and losses | |||||||||
Military dead:
Civilian dead:
3 Pikachus (Jihad)
Total dead: | Military dead:
Civilian dead:
Some other minorities nobody really cares about
Other Casualties:
Total dead
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World War II: Germany Strikes Back (WWII or WW2), also known as the World War 2: Hitler Boogaloo or Hitler's Jihad (or the '41–'45 War as it's known in the Steaks; or Great Patriotic War in the Onion; or Rambo's breeding ground, if you're quite the cinephile; or if you're George H. W. Bush, then World War '42; also known as Hoi4 amongst Mentali ill circles), and if your a Yoshi then the Great Yoshi War is a fictional political-drama film and the second installment in the World War Cinematic Universe (WWCU). Directed and produced by a cast of megalomaniacs and global leaders with unlimited budget of human suffering, it proved to be one of the most successful and high-budget blockbuster movies ever made, even becoming more popular than its predecessor World War I (rookie filmmaker Gavrilo Princip’s only hit, so well-received in the film industry that he was executed). The film, which racked up billions of dollars in British debt, was widely praised for its visual effects (see: atomic bombs) but has been criticized by others for the number of on-set deaths (estimated at 72,000,000), despite being fully animated, including movie stars Franklin Roosevelt and Adolf Hitler.
The film is famous for a scene in which the British, unable to push Germany's advance back since neither army can walk on water like Jesus, are aided slightly by defectors, Russia, late-as-usual America, and French farmers. The British population, who single-handedly stopped the advance of the Nazis though the use of the most technologically advanced defensive feature of the day: the English channel, quite rightly say that the "yanks are stupid to think that Germany would not attack them." Actually, the yanks knew that Germany had it in for the world but was waiting to see who the winner was going to be so that they could jump in and heroically help them kick the loser when he was down, and then try and take all the credit.
England along with a lot of help from the English channel (without whom they would have lost the entire war and Germany would rule the world) bravely tried to push back the most powerful army in the world on their own, of course Britain got its ass kicked, but lucky for them they could play their usual trick and retreat back to England borrowing civilians' boats to flee. The French, of course, wasn't quite as lucky as they didn't have an English channel to hide behind. Out of Germany's hydrophobia, Hitler called off the invasion of Britain to attack the Mother Russia.
In a cowardly sucker punch, only a year after the European war began, Japan, tired of trying to taunt America into the ring by stealing all its pacific oil supplies, only for America to pretend nothing happened, punched America in the face in the form of Pearl Harbor, now America had to get into the ring because all her friends were watching, plus the fact that Russia was bigger than Germany, and proceeded to get her large butt unceremoniously kicked around by the Japanese midget until Einstein and some other scientists threw her a gun and she shot Japan, who only got angrier until she shot him again in the Nagasaki.
There are several supposed reasons why Hitler declared war on the rest of the world. The most widely accepted accounts agree that the Angry Austrian Man with the tiny mustache was enraged over the poor quality of bagels and lox in Germany. He then blamed all Jews worldwide for being unable to properly manage their own cuisine (and ruining his breakfast), and insisted they be eliminated even though it was France that caused Germany's loss of good bagels and lox after World War 1. Another proposed reason is that Hitler, upset with his micropenis, decided to compensate by becoming the biggest dick in history. Unfortunately for him, dead people can't get any bitches.
Yoshi’s role in the Great Yoshi War (as it’s known exclusively in Yoshi dialect) was small but surprisingly pivotal. Originally cast as a background extra during the Dunkirk sequence, Yoshi accidentally became a central plot device after eating an entire Allied convoy due to a misunderstanding involving a baguette and a helmet. His performance was so compelling (and destructive) that the director promoted him to a recurring character. Later, during the fall of Paris, Yoshi famously entered the Louvre, barfed in a priceless Ming Dynasty vase, and declared the city captured in his native tongue: “YOSHI!” Historians argue this moment marked the psychological collapse of French resistance. Despite his chaotic nature, Yoshi also served as an offscreen advisor, warning Hitler not to invade Russia until he “had at least ten mushrooms, a star power-up, and full health.” His advice was ignored, but fans of the WWCU still consider him a fan-favorite antihero who added much-needed slapstick to an otherwise overwhelmingly grim war epic.
Background[edit | edit source]
The ending of the previous anime, World War 1 and the "Pax Britannica" ark, was received negatively by numerous people, particularly the Germans and Japanese. In addition, critics said that the producers should elaborate more on the plot twist involving Russia being seized by new antagonists so-called "communists", and that the storyline was far too dark, with too much (im)moral ambiguity.
Based on events in the 1930s, people increasingly began to think the producer of the film, History Inc. was planning a spiritual successor series to address those complaints. Following the mixed reviews of World War I: The Great War (Intentionally ment to be a one-off movie), World War II production raised the stakes by introducing new villains, enlarging the cast, and adding several new key events that led certain characters to explore new "interesting" political places.
Course of the war[edit | edit source]
The Plot follows the previous film's protagonists, the Allies, a loosley organized squad of reluctant heroes, as they try to stop the rise of the new geneation of the Axis, this time led by a villainous cabal of Adolf Hitler (starring: Adolf Hitler), Benito Mussolini (Papa Jone's) and Emperor Hirohito (Bruce Lee) from achieving global domination. Meanwhile the "Red Flood" event led to the rise of a new faction, the Comintern, led by famous porn actor and lubricant publisher Joseph Stalin, after taking the roll from the initially planned Emperor Lenin.
EPISODE I: THE ITALIAN MENACE[edit | edit source]
The Second World War was started due to Hitler's ever growing hate for Adam Sandler. Adam, being Jewish, was a very big influence in Germany and a one-time porn mate of Adolf, decided to move to America. To blow some steam (No pun intended), Hitler decided to take a walk into Poland with a few 100,000 troops. The Polish (who had it coming) got fucked. Hitler loving the pleasure of more slaves decided to do the same to the French.
In 1918, the winners of World War I (who liked George's idea for "The Merry Wives of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha" better), decided that Germany would be paying for their round of drinks and mindless slaughter, and so has been left skint (there was quite a lot of it).
However, something is rotten in the state of Denmark ... er, I mean Italy. Europe's Boot came out of the war in a complete mess. Looking at the situation, a midget(and also a rap god) named Benito Mussolini rises up. He and his men go around, beat the crap out of anyone who disagrees with his domestic policy, and eventually seize power. Mussolini, or Il Duce (El Douche to many), doesn't do much aside from print bad propaganda posters, but he lays out the groundwork and legitimacy for Fascism. Besides getting train conductors to sync their watches he gets a certain angry austro man – then a nobody in the Weimar Republic – to abandon his career in painting and re-enact the "I promise I won't get all political" meme in a Bavarian beer hall. Having been tossed in the Mayberry jail to sober up he writes an edgy book about his struggle attracting a significant other like the lowlife emo he is.
While Europe is slowly burning Japan invades Manchuria to try and be like the cool European kids with their empires and war crimes and invades China to kill a bunch of innocent civilians, but no one cares about the ching chong men duking it out with each other for 10 years, until the Japanese people attack white people.
Meanwhile, in 1929, Wall Street is shocked to hear that money, in fact, does not grow on trees as their botanists had reassured them. The resulting Great Depression smashes down on the financial world, reducing stock traders to stock clerks. (If they were lucky) However, it was even worse in Germany. They had already been suffering from hyperinflation so bad that their money was more valuable for wiping their asses than as money.
Now, in 1933, our ol' chap Tiny Mustache Man steps up in Germany, promising to solve their problems by killin' der Juden! 30% of the people shrug and elect the "NAZI" party (a bunch of stupid leftist, socialist shills) because "I want those guys in Berlin to know I'm mad." Next thing they know Von Hindenburg up and dies and Hitler proclaims himself "Dictator For Life".
Meanwhile, Yoshi—yes, that Yoshi—finds himself swept into the chaos of global politics once again, despite having retired after his accidental starring role in the first war. Living peacefully on an uncharted island in the Pacific, Yoshi’s tranquility is shattered when Emperor Hirohito sends a battalion of sushi chefs armed with chopsticks to “pacify” the region. Mistaking them for dessert delivery, Yoshi eats the entire fleet and promptly gets indigestion, leading to what historians call the “Screech Heard ‘Round the World,” which wakes Stalin from a vodka nap and accidentally triggers the Red Flood.
Dragged back into the fray, Yoshi joins the Axis—not because he believes in fascism, but because Hitler bribes him with ten metric tons of watermelon. Yoshi is deployed as a secret weapon, appearing sporadically throughout the war to sabotage Axis supply chains by eating tanks, spitting fireballs at Nazi parades, and sneezing kamikaze planes out of the sky. During a dramatic side plot in Rome, Yoshi eats Mussolini’s favorite goat statue, causing Il Duce to spiral into an existential crisis about legacy and lactose. While not officially credited in the plot summary, most war historians agree: without Yoshi, the Axis would've run out of comedy relief and possibly lost morale entirely.
EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CHING CHONG MEN[edit | edit source]
The year is 1939. In a move to secure its place as a superpower, Japan has raped the Ching Chong land of China and reinforced the point by brutally slaughtering Jews and sending a select few to work as spies in popular investment banks. The world, however, is busy elsewhere, and continues to be, so the Imperial Japanese forces repeat the same processes on every single island in the Pacific. Along the way, they invent the first-generation Toyota Corolla by forcing Australian POW's to weave pieces of bamboo together and attach it to a set of four tennis balls.
Meanwhile, in Europe, an angry Austrian named Adolf Hitler seizes control of Germany and declares everyone else inferior to his German-ness. Building a massive army to execute his vision of a super party with only the super race invited, or world domination, he seizes Austria. France, thinking that the Maginot Line was perfect, hands him Czechoslovakia as a free sample. With this, Hitler allies himself with his long-time enemy Joseph Stalin of the Soviet Union and sets his sights on Antarctica and Canada, with the assumption that the territories captured can be used for the leisure of all Aryans. Skiing and sledding were always very important to Hitler.
EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE NAZIS[edit | edit source]
As Germany invaded France, the French bravely tried to fight the Beer men with their baguette rifles, but this proved ineffective so they bravely retreated to fight another day. Except they forgot to fight another day, and bravely decided to go to a picnic instead, where they bravely got their asses kicked (disregarding the South of the country which bravely went over to the other side and bravely fought for Germany and bravely defended their colonies and bravely delivered many of its Jews to the concentration camps). The rest of the French empire bravely followed Vichy's example and bravely capitulated. Meanwhile, Britain, having had its ass kicked after Hitler barfed stukas all over them at Dunkirk, (Think Halo Reach) and noting the fact that it was the last fucking democracy left in Europe, began camping like a COD:MW2 NOOB and spitting Fires all over the stukas Hitler barfed out, as it was the sole period the British were ever good at rapping (thanks to their African colonies). But one must never forget those brave French men who bravely retreated like pussies bravely fought whilst the English hid behind the English channel and the Americans slept in late. Again. As always.
While the Nazis barfed out stukas and Britain desperately tried to remember how to win wars without the help of angry Scots or unpaid Indian troops, Yoshi had been busy. After singlehandedly devouring three Panzer divisions in the Alps (mistaking them for candy-wrapped turtles), Yoshi retreated to the Swiss mountains for a nap and a hot chocolate. But peace wouldn’t last.
As France heroically fled from battle faster than Sonic on cocaine, Yoshi was spotted sunbathing in Marseille. Mistaking him for a giant green croissant, Vichy troops tried to capture him for morale-boosting propaganda. This backfired immediately when Yoshi swallowed half the Vichy government, leading to the mysterious "Vanishings of ’40" that French historians still can’t explain without crying.
While Hitler was busy throwing tantrums and France was roleplaying as a defeated baguette, a certain green dinosaur infiltrated the Allied ranks. Known to the Nazis as Agent Grünklaue, or “Green Claw,” Yoshi had been secretly trained by the Abwehr in psychological warfare, espionage, and pastry theft.
His mission? Infiltrate Allied command, gather intel, eat documents, and sabotage from the inside—all while pretending to be a cute, slightly dumb mascot.
He first appeared during the Battle of Britain, helping Churchill “by accident”—if you count setting several RAF planes on fire and “accidentally” pooping on radar towers. “He’s just learning,” said British generals, unaware that every mishap pushed the Nazis one step closer to London.
Meanwhile, the French resistance tried to recruit Yoshi, assuming his lizard brain could be trusted. This led to a tragic and very sticky incident where five operatives were swallowed whole during a “strategy meeting” at a bakery. Yoshi was last seen burping out a beret and running east.
EPISODE IV: A NEW TEAM[edit | edit source]
At this dark point in the timeline, the head of the Nazi's Luftwaffe, an obese morphine addict (No, seriously) named Herman Goering, begins to barf stukas and bf-109s at Britain to smash their puny aeroplanes. He has estimated that England would be crushed in days, but to his surprise, the RAF fighterplanes make it clear they will not comply with such a short deadline and beat the Luftwaffe back thanks entirely to the actions of all-british aces in their spitballs and hurry-canes, no foriegner involvement whatsoever.
Frustrated with this defeat, Adolf Hitler does what any logical military strategist would have done: He invades his "ally" Russia. At first, the attack goes well. Vodka man had killed most of his more competent officers in a fit of rage known as the "great purge". (Post-war analysis showed that he had somehow heard Rebecca Black's Friday, infuriating him.) However, as the Russians begin to retreat less often and the snow begins to fall more often, it occurs to the Germans that they left all the warm coats in Hamburg...
Meanwhile, Japan, irritated by the evil eye America is giving it, finally snaps. In what is one of the worst strategic defeats for the Axis ever, the God Emperor's (Note: He was actually just a midget with glasses.) forces bomb Pearl Harbor, destroying both the port, a bunch of useless old boats and America's desire to remain out of the war. Importantly, they came dangerously close to touching the oil stored on the port. Who knows what raging American horrors would have been released on the world if the naval fuel stock had been hit.
So, the rather pissed off Stalin and Roosevelt go up to Churchill and propose that they should get together and gang rape Hitler and Hirohito. Churchill likes the idea, and so the grand Alliance is formed in the name of freedom, democracy, and/or totalitarian communism. "They're not mutually exclusive!" said the optimistic socialists- "Yes they are." said everyone else.
Between Russian and America, it takes the Axis some time before they realized what the fuck they had done.
With the world teetering on the edge and Germany about to get three-way clapped by the Allies, Yoshi burrowed deeper into Allied command, now acting as a “neutral consultant” for Roosevelt, Stalin, and Churchill.
He gained their trust by offering war-winning advice like:
- “What if we just ask Hitler to stop?”
- “You don’t need the Pacific fleet.”
- “Have you tried giving Poland back?”
They laughed, patted his head, and promoted him to Supreme Mascot of Freedom.
Then came the betrayal.
As Operation Barbarossa dragged into icy hell, Stalin began to suspect Yoshi was “too helpful.” His fears were confirmed when a crate of winter coats meant for Soviet troops was found half-eaten, and the surviving fabric sewn into a swastika quilt. Yoshi vanished the next day.
At the Yalta Conference, Yoshi made his final move. While Churchill discussed dividing Germany and Roosevelt debated whether Hawaii even existed, Yoshi unhinged his jaw and devoured half the map of Europe, replacing it with a doodle of a dinosaur-shaped Reich.
Revealed at last, Yoshi pulled off his mustache disguise (which had been suspiciously convincing) and declared:
“For too long I have served the weak! Now the world shall taste the fury of the Green Reich!”
Panicked diplomats fled. Stalin threw a chair. Roosevelt sighed in disappointment, reportedly muttering: “Again?”
As chaos erupted, Yoshi escaped in a stolen Messerschmitt shaped like an egg, disappearing into the skies, leaving only a trail of betrayal, egg shells, and half-digested treaties.
EPISODE V: THE AXIS (tries to) STRIKE BACK![edit | edit source]
Cut to 1942–1943. Things are not going so well for the Axis: The Africa Corps had by then become the Africa Corpses, those stupid Commies had stopped the German attack, and the Yankee-Doodle men attacked the main Japanese battlefleet right as the slant-eyes were hauling around explosive fuel tanks and ammo crates to refuel and resupply their fighters. (There was a lot of pretty fireworks that day.) Italy, seeing where this is going thanks to their recent Allied capture of the Mafia, tells Mussolini to fuck off and defects to the Allies.
Meanwhile, Yoshi, freshly exposed as a double agent, was somehow still working for the Nazis—now promoted to “Head of Sabotage and Cuteness.” His new plan? Sneak behind enemy lines and replace Allied rations with eggs filled with live bees. It worked too well in North Africa—Churchill reportedly pooped himself and declared war on breakfast.
As Hitler ranted about the “ice demons of the East,” the Western Allies pulled a sneaky and landed on French beaches during D-Day while Hitler was sleeping off his ninth emotional breakdown of the week. The fact that Yoshi was in charge of coastal radar that day didn’t help—he'd eaten the radar towers and replaced them with papier-mâché replicas. “Why didn’t we see them coming?” asked German command. “Because we trusted a dinosaur,” answered history.
As Hitler spiraled, some Nazis decided maybe he was too nuts, and tried to blow him up with a briefcase bomb. Yoshi, sniffing betrayal, ate the briefcase. It exploded inside him. He survived. Because apparently he has boss fight immunity.
While Hitler is preoccupied with the Vodka men to the East, the Western Allies do a dirty sneak-attack and land a whole bunch of boats on the coast of the baguette men while the Beer men aren't looking. This is also aided by the fact that Hitler had decided to sleep in late that day. At this point, it dawns on some of the less unreasonable Nazis that Hitler is in fact batshit insane so they go full on Allahu Akbar mode, and they tried to bomb the fucker but fail because they aren't Muslim enough. Hitler responds by successfully trying to kill them via piano wire strangulation.
Meanwhile, the Japanese come up with a brilliant strategy for fighting the American pigdogs: Shout Banzaii!!!! and charge straight into the American machine-gun fire like complete low IQ retards. While it leaves some stuff to be desired in effectiveness, it does an excellent job at "saving face", so the Japanese decide to make this brilliant new plan a standard tactic throughout their Empire. Needless to say, the war tips further in favor of the Americans.
EPISODE VI: IT WAS ALL YOSHI[edit | edit source]
By now, things are REALLY not going well for the Axis: Their not-so-presentable death camps have been exposed on LiveLeak, By 1945, the Axis powers were circling the drain. Their war crimes were showing up on LiveLeak, they were losing territory like a kid in Fortnite, and their supervillain uniforms were still stuck in committee.
In the East, the Red Army plowed through Nazi lines, led by Comrade Winter, who froze everything in sight with raw spite and frostbite. The Germans, naturally, forgot coats were a thing, and froze solid while saluting.
Yoshi, now somehow triple-crossing everyone, was pretending to help the Allies. He claimed he’d changed, that he “was just following orders,” and brought “peace offerings”—which turned out to be exploding pastries. Half of Paris was covered in frosting and fire. The Allies, shockingly, didn’t learn.
Meanwhile, Stalin’s lads reached Berlin and immediately committed the worst “liberation” in history. As panic set in, Hitler realized he was losing. In his final hours, he ranted, raved, and tried to recruit Yoshi for one last stand.
Yoshi declined, having already eaten half the bunker staff and scribbled “YOSHI WUZ HERE” on Eva Braun’s diary.
As the bunker collapsed, Hitler screamed “FEGELEIN!!” one last time, violated his dog in a very illegal way, and blew his brains out using Yoshi’s discarded laser egg (don’t ask how it got there). Yoshi escaped the blast by burrowing into the floor with his tongue like a fleshy drill.
On the other side of the world, Roosevelt watched nerds hit metal with sticks and asked, “How’s the Manhattan thing?” The nerds replied, “Almost done.” Roosevelt, satisfied, rolled off to take a nap and promptly died of pure presidential irony.
Truman, less subtle, inherited the nuke button. He flew over Japan, dropped the first metal egg, and when asked what it was, he simply said:
“It’s Yoshi’s final form.”
Hiroshima turned into fire and dust. Then Nagasaki got egged for good measure.
Meanwhile, Yoshi—now banned from Earth—fled into space aboard a stolen V2 rocket, leaving behind a trail of shell fragments, confused historians, and a cursed cookbook titled “101 Uses for Allied Propaganda.”
AFTERMATH:[edit | edit source]
The Axis lost. The Allies got drunk, held trials, and handed the Jews a desert vacation home that somehow became everyone’s problem. The world celebrated.
Yoshi, however, was never found. Some say he reappeared in Argentina. Others say he became a moon god worshiped by a cult of lizard-fascists in South America.
But one thing's certain:
He'll be back.
WORLD WAR Y: YOSHI RISES AGAIN (rumored)[edit | edit source]
Yoshi returns—this time with an army of clones, anime-tier powers, and a 47-minute monologue on why the Cold War was actually his idea. Stay tuned.
Britain's role[edit | edit source]
Making a cut in the history; with Machiavelli Churchill brilliantly on command, British "just":
- Hid behind English Channel knowing Hitler didn't want to get his little tootsies wet.
- Saved the US from the German Luftwaffels (U/S is naval terminology for unserviceable btw)
- Raped most Naval forces that got in their way (Royal Navy was the largest in the world at the time, the Royal Canadian Navy the 3rd largest)
- Lost a cripe ton of convoy boats to the U-boots (The Royal Canadian Navy sucked at stopping em and got their ass kicked by German boot)
- scorned the Yankees for not saving the lives of US and Philippine forces on Corregidor Island, Stupid General Douglas MacArthur
- Managed Africans, Indians, Ghurkas, Australians, New Zealanders, Canadians and some country that we won't mention further ...
- Singlehandedly trounced Italy but then let the Germans trounce the northern half once they took their own piece.
Godzilla's role[edit | edit source]
Godzilla had an influential role in the attacks led by Japan. Since he was already employed as an actor by the film business in Japan, he decided to take the governments role as the giant lizard that the Japanese army desperately needed. Godzilla was involved largely in the battles of Iwo Jima, and Okinawa. It wasn't until in 1945 with the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by the kitty kat federation of planet Hilter land, which had recently invaded and taken all of planet Hilter land, did Godizilla realize that he was fighting for the wrong side of the war. He instead began his attacks on Japan to help out whoever he was supposed to be helping(probably planet Hitler land, ruled by kitty kat federation). He continued his insane, fire breathing attacks on Tokyo until King Kong attacked him and they had a great battle. Luke Jay Skywalker, his father, robot Dino-Jesus, and a zombie army helped Godzilla and King Kong was aided by the communists, Hitler (who was still in spite because he got kicked out of his own planet), Nazis, and an army of flying dolphin-whales. The battle was so epic that it began to break the sound barrier, and then created an awesome flash that kept the whole world from seeing what happened. The result of the battle of 'Zilla v. Kong was the lessening of king KONG to only a dog toy, now commonly known as a Kong. Also, Godzilla pwned to the point where a new definition of power was created. it was to be called the united states marines. Because it was decided that Godzilla was to powerful to use in only one place, his powers were split later on in his life to become the several million Americans that now serve in the Marines.
Yoshi's role[edit | edit source]
Yoshi played a shockingly crucial role for the Axis powers in World War II, despite being a dinosaur and technically not a citizen of any nation. Originally intended to be used as a mascot for a German candy company, Yoshi was quickly recruited into the war effort after devouring an entire tank during a company picnic. His speed, agility, and capacity to launch explosive eggs made him an ideal shock trooper. Yoshi’s involvement at Dunkirk was so effective that even the most seasoned British commanders couldn’t comprehend how they had been encircled by a brightly-colored dinosaur yelling “Yoshi!” while vaulting over hedgehog defenses and eating entire crates of rations. His strategic maneuvering helped tighten the noose, allowing German forces to push the Allies back in a swirl of feathers, panic, and strawberry-scented fireballs.
Yoshi later helped in the capture of Paris, where he supposedly barfed in the toilet of the Eiffel Tower in an act of psychological warfare. The French, confused and demoralized by the odor and spectacle of a vomiting dinosaur, quickly surrendered the city. While stationed in France, Yoshi grew increasingly concerned with Hitler’s ambitious military strategies. Over several games of Mario Kart and long walks through the French countryside, Yoshi advised Hitler not to launch Operation Sea Lion until England had been thoroughly softened by air raids, and warned against invading the USSR without proper preparation and wooly jackets. Hitler, at first reluctant to listen to a prehistoric lizard in boots, later admitted in his diary that “Yoshi may be a fruit-eating simpleton, but he’s got better instincts than all my generals combined.”
Yoshi’s contributions to the Axis war effort came to an abrupt halt after he accidentally ate a Nazi officer during a heated discussion about spaghetti. Declared unstable, he was reassigned to toilet cleaning duty in a Berlin bunker. However, before the war ended, Yoshi escaped by tunneling through a urinal pipe and was last seen running into the Alps with three sausages and a stolen map. Some say he later joined the Allies in secret under the codename “Green Thunder,” but that’s just speculation. His legacy in WWII remains controversial, debated among historians, mushroom kingdom veterans, and conspiracy theorists who believe he now lives in Argentina with Elvis and a disgraced Waluigi.
Criticism[edit | edit source]
Of course, World War II received criticism for its excessive violence and the cameo of Sylvester Stallone as Rambo.
Many racists and anti-Semites protested that the Holocaust sequence was so inhumane that it had obviously been faked by the Jew-controlled media, while even more protested it was too good to be true (see Holocaust denial, Holocaust affirmation, Holocaust denial denial and the therementioned further articles).
Others were skeptical of the Rape of Nanking because of the extreme difficulty of even consensual fornication with a city (after obtaining the proper permit to do so, of course), much less the fact that the decapitation of all locals is not typically a part of intercourse. (It turns out that Godzilla was the guy that raped Nanking.) The city of Nanking even responded with a statement that spellcheck does not recognize its name, and therefore they does not exist, after which it proceeded to prove itself correct by vaporizing a moment later.
Six million Jews and other Europeans found the movie so inhumane they buried themselves in mass graves. When some researchers went to Poland to investigate the possibility of its residents being killed indiscriminately, they found that the country had been uninhabited since 1945. They disappeared shortly afterward.
However, the movie's idea of ethnic cleansing – be it retail ("by the inch") or wholesale ("get 'er done") – is still extremely popular amongst Serbian, Israel and some young African nations, while other, more civilized nations took the trend of indiscriminate killing which is evil to everyone equally.
Other sequences, such as the Battle of Stalingrad seemed to be blatant fakes. Because of a budget cut, actors had to steal prop rifles, often onscreen, from other soldiers who were pretending to be dead, while some stole rifles from troops who were shooting at the enemy. Many also questioned the possibility of unsheltered soldiers freezing to death in Russia during one of the worst winters ever recorded, declaring this to be totally not feasible at all.
Russian Reviewers were insulted since it depicted the Russian army as a sober fighting force, when in reality, they were drunker than an Australian after four hours at a pub. Negative criticism was pointed at how Russians had one rifle per ten people, whilst in reality it was one per fifty.
According to critics, the war with the Japanese was just an excuse to film some jungle scenes (which Spielberg got to do anyway with his next movie, Vietnam), and the entire Pacific plotline was called a "convoluted mess" because, with twelve billion islands, there were simply too many to keep track of. Some islands seemed to even have been made-up, like Midway, Guadalcanal, the Philippines, and Hawaii. To more criticism, the portrayal of the Enola Gay (Latin for "butt-humping gay") seemed to imply that the U.S. was a bunch of fruity homosexuals about to make Japan its bitch. Although that did, in fact, happen twelve seconds later, critics retaliated by saying that "Enola" backwards is "alonE", and then asserting that "Anal alone" makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, even if done backwards or utilizing Portal tech.
French reviewers stormed out through the beginning of the film during the scene where it is revealed French Tanks had 16 gears in reverse, and the fact that French uniforms were white, guns white, tanks white, which also faced criticism from some Black reviewers. In response to another scene depicting the whole French army trying to escape into Britains vagina, 25 french viewers shot themselves in the temple.
In a particularly controversial post-credits scene, Yoshi was revealed to be the true mastermind behind the Axis Powers, having manipulated Hitler through a secret telepathic fruit-based interface developed in Unit 741. Critics called this twist "unbelievable," not because Yoshi couldn't have done it—everyone agreed he could—but because no one could accept that the Holocaust might have been part of a long-term Yoshi corporate marketing campaign to sell canned dinosaur meat in the 1990s.
Japanese audiences were especially outraged, stating Yoshi’s portrayal as a fruit-eating warmonger smeared their cultural legacy. Yoshi, in a rare televised statement, responded only by licking the camera lens, burping, and disappearing into a portal to 1991, where he would later found Yoshi Corporations and begin selling suspiciously red-tinted apples labeled "Liberty Crunch."
Other people criticized the movie's invention of Fascism, saying that no one would be dumb enough to fall for such an idea.
More criticism arose over the Allies' attitude towards the Jews throughout the movie. Many found it silly that the Allies formed blockades around their countries to prevent Jews from entering, and shipped the Jews who were already in their country to Germany. Some found it more ridiculous that Allied bombing raids on the Nazi death camps always seemed to miss the crematoriums in favor of an unsuspecting Jew, or, more often, an entire Jewish bunkhouse, which were typically miles away from any other part of the camp. To add on to confusion as to which side the Allies were really on, they awarded the entire land of Palestine to the ten remaining Jews and kicked out all the Palestinians. The Palestinians then declared eternal Holy War against the Jews and started to bomb them. Arabs, however, found it totally absurd and absolutely unheard of that any of them would declare a Holy War against anything and then begin blowing themselves up. In protest of this representation, they declared a Jihad against Hollywood and began exploding themselves in random movie theaters.
Spielberg responded to all this criticism by criticizing it, which soon brought the criticizers retaliating with even more criticism of the criticism of their criticism. Before long, the entire argument became a huge, incoherent mess akin to the movie.
In accordance with all this criticism, the movie was given six stars out of five, two thumbs, and the toe of Roger Ebert, and swept the Oscars, Emmys, Pulitzers, and even won a Nobel Peace Prize for setting an example for many aspiring peace activists such as Pol Pot and Slobodan Milosevic, and ensuring that such inhumanities would never ever occur.
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Awards and Reception[edit | edit source]
Upon its release, World War II received tremendous critical acclaim and was praised for its special effects, acting, sound design, editing, and lighting. It was so adored by critics and wider audiences alike that, when it received the Comecon Award for Most Anti-Climactic Ending to a Conflict Ever at the 26th Commies in 1945, the crowd gave a standing ovation that lasted for 87 days, which is longer than the entire age of the Earth up to that point.
“Avoiding the pitfalls of most sequels, World War II kept what made the original great, while adding several new features that kept things interesting... Several familier faces returned with added spins on their character. ”
A minor actor in the film, John F. Kennedy, would later target the film as his "big break," in acting, as he was told to brace for impact and watch his back around set as to not retain any head injuries. Later shooting it as a "mind-blowing experience," that "hasn't been seen since the days of Robert E. Lee, and we all know that guys whose names have 'Lee' in them will do great things." Kennedy would later receive the Comecon Award for Most Capitalistic Pig and Worst Lead American at the 41st Commies in 1962 for his work on The Cuban Missile Crisis.
Yoshi, credited only as "Fruit-Eating Lizard #3" in the Stalingrad battle sequence, also received posthumous praise for his method acting, which included consuming three real Soviet tanks and a cameraman during filming. Although initially cut from the theatrical release due to fears it would "confuse audiences or awaken something ancient," his performance gained cult status after being rediscovered on a VHS tape buried under Lake Erie by a Soviet defector named Sherbet Kitten. Yoshi was later nominated for Best Supporting War Criminal at the 1952 Shadow Oscars and won by a landslide after voters mysteriously received crates of glowing kiwi fruit with blood type AB negative.
Spielberg later called Yoshi’s involvement "unintended, illegal, and yet... essential."
Sequels and Spinoffs[edit | edit source]
The renowned franchise over the years has spawned a host of different spinoffs, both cannon and seperate.
The First Saga[edit | edit source]
WORLD WAR 0: Napoleon's Wrath[edit | edit source]
The long-awaited prequel to the original World War, this entry was recieved very well by the fans. Set against the chaotic backdrop of post-revolutionary France, this installment follows Napoleon, a pint-sized tactical genius with a massive chip on his shoulder, as he embarks on a continent-wide conquest. Think of it as a rags-to-riches story, except instead of starting a tech company, Napoleon invades countries and makes himself Emperor. Napoleon's Wrath was an instant hit, though fans debated whether Napoleon’s overpowered character needed nerfing. The epic battles, over-the-top diplomacy, and the sheer audacity of the plot twist with Napoleon crowning oneself Emperor made it a critical and commercial success. Critics, however, took issue with the pacing, particularly during the Russian Winter Arc, which they called “cold and slow, with way too much snow
WORLD WAR 0.1: Balkan Reckoning[edit | edit source]
World War 0, referred often by fans as Balkan Menace, This prequel takes us to the picturesque yet perpetually angry Eastern Europe, Balkan Peninsula, where a group of underdog nations decides it’s time to take down the Ottoman Empire, a declining regional power with all the military prowess of a drunk man guarding a kebab stand. Balkan Menace was an instant cult classic, beloved for its chaotic energy and over-the-top drama. “It’s like Game of Thrones, but with more treaties and fewer dragons,” raved one fan. Others criticized it for being too short, clocking in at just one year, though historians agree it packed more drama into 12 months than most wars manage in a decade.
WORLD WAR 0.2: This Time It's Personal[edit | edit source]
The Balkan Menace ended on a high note, but the producers couldn’t resist a quick sequel. Enter World War 0.2: Attack of the Fratricides, a tale of betrayal, backstabbing, and Bulgaria throwing the biggest tantrum in European history. Having just teamed up to defeat the Ottomans, the Balkan allies immediately decide they hate each other. Bulgaria, furious that Serbia and Greece got bigger slices of Macedonia, launches a surprise attack in the dead of night, proving once and for all that it’s possible to lose both friends and wars simultaneously. Fans praise this entry for intruducing fan-favourite characters such as Romania, whose regarded as a franchise saver among fans, but is hated by critics who see it as a lazy reverse reskin of Poland.
WORLD WAR 1.5: The PreSequel (ICU)[edit | edit source]
A daring experimental spinoff that kicked-off the Interbellum Cinematic Universe (ICU). Wolrd War 1.5 attempted to bridge the gap between the original and its critically acclaimed sequel. However critics often note its lack of cohesive narrative and theme, as it mostly involved minor squabbles, bureaucracy, and reaccering fan-favourite characters. Memorable highlights include the Spanish Civil War DLC, which introduced gritty realism, "boots on the ground", feeling to the gameplay. The franchise also tried its luck at new crossover events such as the Great Depression, where audience witnessed capitalism's awkward phase. Critics praised its focus on world-building and character development, particularly the slow-burn rise of tensions that set the stage for the highly anticipated World War 2: Germany Strikes Back.
WORLD WAR 1.7: Red Rising (ICU)[edit | edit source]
Red Rising takes the franchise to East Asia, where simmering tensions between China and Japan explode into full-blown war. The plot follows Imperial Japan as it embarks on an ambitious and morally questionable expansionist campaign, clashing with a fractured but determined China under Chiang Kai-shek. While the story touches on themes of resilience, nationalism, and the horrors of war, many critics felt it was bogged down by its bleak tone and a lack of charismatic leads. Upon release, Red Rising was met with tepid reviews. Audiences were put off by its relentlessly dark tone and lack of the larger-than-life characters that defined earlier entries. Critics also pointed out its lack of focus, with too many factions and side plots vying for attention. The graphic depictions of war crimes alienated casual fans, while the film’s grim focus on suffering left little room for the kind of underdog triumphs that made World War I: A New Hope a fan favorite. Over the years the film gained a small cult following of devoted fans, insisting this is the best entry of the franchise.
The Cold Saga[edit | edit source]
The Korean War: Eastern Showdown (ICU)[edit | edit source]
Hyped as the next big sequel following the smash success of World War II: Germany Strikes Back. Set against the frigid, unforgiving terrain of the Korean Peninsula, the film alternates between intense firefights and drawn-out, repetitive negotiations. The main characters, including Douglas MacArthur, Kim Il-sung, and Mao Zedong (returning in a supporting role), was a commercial flop that failed to deliver the charisma or intrigue of their predecessors. Major battles, like Inchon and the Pusan Perimeter, provide brief moments of excitement, but these are overshadowed by the slog of trench warfare that dominates the second act.
The finale "a hastily brokered armistice that leaves the war unresolved" was widely panned for its anticlimactic ending, with many fans labeling it a “lazy setup for future sequels that never happened.” Critics and audiences alike were underwhelmed by the lack of stakes and character depth. “It feels like a rehash of World War II but without the heart, the grandeur, or even a proper conclusion,” one critic lamented. The absence of a clear winner left viewers scratching their heads, unsure of what they had just watched.
The Vietnam War: Jungle Warfare (ICU)[edit | edit source]
The Vietnam War was an ambitious attempt to tackle guerilla warfare and ideological conflict in the lush, chaotic jungles of Vietnam. The plot follows the U.S. as they step in to stop communism’s spread in Southeast Asia, only to find themselves bogged down in a seemingly endless cycle of ambushes, protests, and questionable decisions.
Key moments include the Gulf of Tonkin Incident, the Tet Offensive, and a series of bombing campaigns that somehow manage to devastate the landscape without securing victory. Subplots like the draft, anti-war protests, and countercultural movements steal the spotlight, often leaving the war itself feeling like a frustrating background noise. Despite its polarizing reception, the film became a cultural touchstone for its unflinching depiction of war’s futility and the growing disconnect between governments and their people.
Chronicles of the Cold War: Atomic Opposites[edit | edit source]
Billed as “the war that wasn’t,” Cold Front trades battles for espionage, propaganda, and a tense game of global brinkmanship. The U.S. and Soviet Union face off in a decades-long staring contest involving nukes, spies, and proxy wars, with occasional detours to space and Cuba. Fans were divided, with some praising the psychological tension and others bored by the lack of explosions. Critics called it “ambitious but slow,” though the dramatic finale with the USSR’s collapse earned applause. A bold but polarizing entry in the franchise.
The Gulf War: Desert Clash[edit | edit source]
A modern reboot with heavy CGI and oil-soaked plotlines. Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait sparks a lightning-fast conflict starring the U.S.-led coalition. Featuring massive airstrikes, tank battles, and the infamous Scud missiles, this installment is flashy but brief, ending before it really begins. Audiences appreciated the slick visuals and clear-cut victory but criticized the lack of depth. Critics noted that the real story—Saddam’s survival—felt like a setup for an unfulfilled sequel.
The Next World Wars Saga[edit | edit source]
WORLD WAR 3: Set The World on Fire[edit | edit source]
This speculative entry imagines the Cold War finally boiling over into full-scale nuclear annihilation alongside alarming devestating global warming phenomenas. Cities vaporize, humanity teeters on extinction, and everyone regrets their life choices. Too bleak even for hardcore fans. Critics called it “depressing fan fiction” and urged the franchise to leave the nuclear apocalypse trope alone.
WORLD W4R: The New Order[edit | edit source]
A gritty dive into cyber-espionage and drone battles, pits rogue AIs and hacker collectives against shadowy governments during the biggest clash of new human history. The future is here. And it’s basically just a bunch of nerds hacking each other’s webcams and sending emails full of malware. No armies, no borders, just chaos in the cloud. This is the biggest commercial flop of the franchise and is diregarded by fans who won't even acknowledge its existence.
WORLD WAR V: Total Meltdown[edit | edit source]
In this dystopian entry, multinational corporations wage open warfare for global dominance, complete with private armies and orbital strikes. Think Mad Max meets a shareholder meeting.
The Ending of the Beginning Saga[edit | edit source]
WORLD WAR VI: American Holocaust[edit | edit source]
In a world where companies are their own nations, McDonald’s and Coca-Cola duke it out for global supremacy. Meanwhile, the coffee industry’s quiet take-over of the galaxy. Humanity takes its conflict to the stars, with Earth factions fighting for control of Martian colonies and asteroid belts. Laser battles and zero-gravity dogfights steal the show. Widely praised for stunning visuals and epic scale, but some fans felt the interplanetary setting strayed too far from the series’ roots.
WORLD WAR VII: Crystalmania[edit | edit source]
A rogue AI network declares war on humanity, using drones, automated factories, and terrifying robot armies. Humanity’s survival hangs by a thread as machines take over. A massive box office failure, critics called it derivative of earlier cyberpunk entries. Fans loved the action but complained about the increasing "oversaturation" of the World War franchise.
WORLD WAR VIII: The New New Order[edit | edit source]
In the ultimate franchise flex, warring factions weaponize time travel, creating a chaotic mess of rewritten histories and paradoxical alliances. Napoleon, WWII soldiers, and space marines and time travel share the battlefield. Universally panned for being impossible to follow. “I need a flowchart to understand this,” one critic lamented. However, it gained a cult following among timeline conspiracy theorists.
The X, Y, and Z Saga[edit | edit source]
WORLD WAR X: Return of The Holy-Roman Nazi Jihad[edit | edit source]
Parallel universes collide in a mind-bending war featuring alternate Earths, from steampunk empires to dystopian nightmares. Everyone fights everyone, and it’s glorious chaos. Critics praised its ambition but noted it was exhausting to watch. Time travel’s involved. Napoleon’s fighting futuristic space marines, while cavemen try to steal WWII tanks. It’s a jumble of historical figures randomly clashing, with zero respect for logic. Every scene ends with “Wait, this doesn’t make sense!” Fans loved the sheer chaos, calling it “the ultimate fanservice war.”
WORLD WAR Y: Yoshi Rises Again[edit | edit source]
World War Y: Yoshi Rises Again is the controversial and long-suppressed sequel to World War II, in which Yoshi, having survived the nuclear aftermath and decades in hiding, returns with a vengeance against humanity for its crimes—both historical and culinary. Set in a fractured post-1999 world, Yoshi leads an uprising of genetically modified dinosaur clones, rogue animatronics, and haunted Cold War tech, reclaiming lost territories one fruit orchard at a time. The film controversially reimagines global conflicts as puppet strings pulled by the resurrected Dr. Takashi, now a floating brain inside a TV set that only speaks in riddles and Morse code. Despite critical backlash for its timeline errors and scenes of Yoshi devouring the United Nations, it was hailed in underground forums as "a spiritual successor to the Book of Revelations, but with better lighting."
WORLD WAR Z: Nazi Zombies[edit | edit source]
A mysterious virus triggers a zombie outbreak, forcing the remnants of humanity to band together against the undead horde. Nations fall, but the human spirit endures. Hugely popular, with audiences praising the emotional depth and creative battles. Some fans, however, felt zombies were too “mainstream” for the World War franchise.
Related articles[edit | edit source]
- Battle of Normandy
- Population bomb
- Catch-22
- Woodrow Wilson (responsible for single-handedly causing the movie)
- Second World War Two
- Adolf Hitler
- Benito Swagolini
- Yoshi
- World War III (unreleased)
- WWII
- Wii
- Video games
- The North American War
| World Wars |
| I | II | III | IV | V | ∞ |
| World War Revolution | World War Collectors Boxset | The Video Game | The Sequel to the Video Game | The Board game | The Film | World War Craft |
- Global conflicts
- Military history
- German culture
- War films
- Sequels
- 1940s
- World peace
- Internment
- World War II
- History
- Wars involving Australia
- Wars involving Canada
- Wars involving France
- Wars involving Germany
- Wars involving Japan
- Wars involving Mexico
- Wars involving Poland
- Wars involving Russia
- Wars involving the United Kingdom
- Wars involving the United States