Pol Pot
“How could that guy possibly kill 1.5 million people? I mean, look at that gorgeous smile!”
“I pity the foo' who makes Hitler convert to Communism.”
“FLY TO CAMBODIAAAAA!!!”
“Nice job. Now do it again, but this time wear a clown suit and kill them all with bears... that are on fire!”
“Kill them!!!”
“I don't want my pineapple on my pizza. Kill him!”
Saloth Sâr (May 19, 1925 - Totally not April 15, 1998) better known as Polly Potty or Full Pot, was an unpopular East-Asian dicktator, especially in Kampuchea, where he took control of the country via talking out of his ass about communist shit he didn’t understand until people thought he was charismatic. During his time of ass-talking, he made it illegal to be any profession apart from a farmer so that everyone was equal, except for him and his husbands Khieu Samphan and Nicolae Ceausescu. During this time, he was said to have had 1.5 million people killed for deranged and random reasons with an axe and used as fertilizer for the other farmers, making him a Totally Radical Giant Dicktator.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Sâr was born in 1925 to a totally not rich family in some small town in Kampuchea (Stinky westerners call it “Cambodia”) that doesn’t even have a listed population on Wikipedia, meaning it does not exist. He was part Chinese, which means that he died in his own genocide, but not really since he was the leader and could can do whatever he wanted. His daddy, Phlegm, was totally not a prosperous and rich farmer and was instead some random peasant. His mommy, Sock, was totally not an epic locally renowned Buddhist. He totally did not lie when he said that he was born poor on Yugoslav television in 1977. He went to live with his bro, Thong Song, in 1935, and this is where he totally did not attend a dirty westerner Catholic school. He also totally did not learn French and totally did not bang a hot chick inside of the Cambodian king’s palace, as true comrades totally do not fuck chicks. He then epically learned and then shredded on the Violin and met his future first husband Khieu “Kewl” Samphan. He then totally did not study in the stinky westerner city of Paris, France, which is definitely not where he learned the ancient ways of the Commie Dicktator.
Rise of Polly Potty[edit | edit source]
He totally stayed in Kampuchea while trying to become a glorious communist dicktator, mastering the art of ass-talking and making shit up using buzzwords to make him popular, taking the name “Polly Potty” after thinking it sounded nice. He totally got voted in and totally did not overthrow fellow dicktator Long Mole to control Kampuchea and make it a glorious commie hotspot in 1975. He then hired a bunch of weird people with checkered bandanas to follow him around with AK-47s every single day. He then finally married Khieu Samphan, making him the first openly gay dicktator, and he then met his second husband, Nicolae Ceausescu, at some random commie meeting, which caused them to get married a day later. Potty then proceeded to make his people farm so they could all eat a bunch of rice and nothing else, with Potty getting all the good food which was totally not stinky westerner food. He then found out glasses looked stupid and killed everyone with glasses, and then he just killed everyone that he saw that wasn’t a glorious commie comrade, and he was so strict that he caused even the strictest principals to cry, earning him the title of “Totally Radical Giant Dicktator”.
Fall of Polly Potty[edit | edit source]
Just 4 years after Potty’s epic rise, Vietnam said “nope” since they caught onto his bullshit ass-talking and pushed him out, starting a complete historical clusterfuck that is too confusing to be explained by even the alleged smartest history teachers. His own comrades also said “nope” and trapped him in his hidey house until he became a stinky old man, and he totally did not die in his sleep in 1998 at the ripe old age of 70, and it is said he still cries about his dead second husband and the rest of his dead comrades in his random tiny hidey house in the middle of nowhere. He also totally made a Twitter account in 2022 since he totally finally got WiFi in his hidey house.
