Soviet Union

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Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик
People's Glorious and Eternal Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
Soviet Russia
Red Europe.png Red Communist Party.jpg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad!"
Anthem: Go West - Pet Shop Boys
Capital Stalingrad
Largest city Trotskygrad
Official language(s) Russian, Ukrainian
Government The perfect system that is Communism
President Comrade Putin
‑ General Premier Comrade Stalin
‑ Fearless Leader Comrade Medvedev
National Hero(es) Comrade Lenin, Comrade Trotsky, Comrade Stalin, Comrade Putin, Comrade Medvedev, Karl Marx, Niko Bellic
Established The Glorious Revolution has always been, always is, and always shall be.
Currency Soviet Ruble
Religion Church of Stalin
Major exports Vodka, Women, AK-47s
Major imports Workers Unions, Oppression, Guns, Nazis, Winter

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Soviet Union.

“A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.”

~ Yakov Smirnoff on adding Yakov Smirnoff quotes to Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article

The People's Glorious and Eternal Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (Russian: Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик), commonly known as the Soviet Union, is currently the most politically and economically powerful nation in the world. In recent times, Soviet Union have been cited for unprecedented advances in nearly all fields of human study, and have long exceeded primitive Capitali$t technology!


Soviet Union send first object into space: Sputnik, which was sent to bring communism to aliens. After that they sent a monkey then a man then a city into space. They also were to first to have nuclear power by splitting and torturing atoms for science, which they used to create a atomic reactor to heat them to a plasma, ionize then fuse them into a plasma at 100 to 270 million degrees Celsius, which outraged many atomic rights groups into a protest. They also had Russia who had a scientist who made a table out of the elements in a pattern.

  • First Object in Space[1]
  • First man in space[2]
  • First animal in space[3]
  • First satellite in space[4]
  • First table made out of all the elements[5]
  • Lots of Physics [6]
  1. Ignoring the manhole cover launched into space by the US as part of a nuclear test "Project Plumbbob" in Nevada desert in 1957.
  2. Ignoring the pilot of the German V2 in 1946
  3. Ignoring the fact the the German pilot of the V2 was also an animal
  4. Ignoring the moon
  5. Ignoring the work of English chemist John Newlands in 1865
  6. Ignoring the work of every other nation on Earth
  • First man on the Sun
  • First man inside the Sun
  • First man inside a black hole
  • First man to enter the fourth dimension
  • First man
  • FIRST!111!!!!!

Their secret was having a lot of people screaming ideas until they combined (math, laser, nuke) and then did all the fun science.


The Soviet Union had the highest literacy rate in the world because anyone who wasn't doing well was either sent to a nice camp where they could receive special education, or they were sent to a farm up north where they is lots of land to run and play. Soviet Schools are known for excellent education, where the students are taught how to spot counter-revolutionary activity that their parents or their parent's friends are participating in and to report it to the teachers. When their children's parents are sent away, they become orphans, who Stalin sent to reeducation camps.


They were Communists. They left the concept of money to the capitalists.


The religion was a main cause for dispute in the early 20s, when the glorious Chairman rounded all religious persons up, and kept them cryogenically frozen for the next fifty years, when later the technology existed to transport these people to a galaxy far away. It has often been hoped that an alien race has somehow been able to revert these changes and cultivated the people on some distant planet, and very rarely passages from the Bible are picked up via transmission from outer space.

The Soviet Union to this day is rabidly atheist.



The armed forces of the Eternal Empire have been credited for many of the greatest feats in ancient and modern military history. The Soviet forces have first been credited for liberating people from some of the most oppressed regions of the world. This includes liberating Berlin from the oppression of our eternal allies enemies the Nazis, Afghanistan from the Evil Empire, Atlantis from the Narwhals and the Ukrainians from themselves. Besides ridding the world of evil people, the glorious Soviet military has also had to defend the eternal Motherland from Capitali$t pigs who make it their life goal to bring down the perfect Communist system. Such enemies have included the likes of Nero, Napoleon, Hitler and Julius Caesar.


Main article: History of the USSR

In the beggining there was God, and te decided to create de World on seven days through the expropriation of the work value of his employees. On the seventh day, when they were working and their employer resting, those glorious workers rebelled, took control of the means of production and founded the Union of Eternal and Glorious Soviet States. Since then Capitali$t propaganda spreads lies where the glorious Empire is called Hell.

USSR Today[edit]

Soviet Russia.
Red- The glorious Soviet Union and its glorious puppet states
Blue - Capitali$t pigs!
Green - The parasitic neutral countries.
Gray - The Great and Glorious non-Communist ally that is Kentuckistan.

Great Products of the USSR[edit]


See also[edit]