LOL

GOVERNMENT WARNING: This article may cause you to lol or in extreme cases even rofl. Please try to think of something unfunny if you think this is about to happen.

First person to LOL is a rotten egg.

“The only thing worse than being lol'd about is not being lol'd about”

~ Joe Biden

“Rofl”

~ Oscar Wilde on LOL

LOL

From the Dutch word Lølen, the term LOL (pronounced as one word, with a long "o", as in "Dude, I was lolling so hard that I fell over.") is commonly used throughout the internet as a means to show empathy, standing for 'Lots of love'. It can also mean 'I have nothing better to say'. LOL is not to be confused with lol, which is just a man with his arms raised.

Example

<jameskf> My Mum just died :(
<DriverMan> LOL
<karg> LOL, that's so sad.
<qfeen> LOL :(
<drunk> LOL
<cranyon666> Thats *really* sad LOL
<eggmaster> I feel your loss
<eggmaster> LoL
<fust0r> LoL, Hope it wasn't a long and painful death 
<jameskf> Thanks Guys your the best intarweb pals i got!
<drunk> We're always here for you, LOL.                                        

Lolology

To <insert name here>,

There is a magical land of LoL. It is a magical island of lol moments. There is a native language, and not the type of language used in panda porn, but similar. This language is known as LOL CHAT. Teh Lol chet iz uzid fer ittey bittey kittey comitties. The people of Lol Island can only be caught in pictures, because they only live in pictures. Mainly getting drunk and then taking pictures of their cats.

Lolology is the study of lols and lulz. While modern lolology revolves around the Internet, lolology initially started with the ancient Greek philosophers, such as Socrates and Plato. Through time, the study of lolology began to integrate different media, such as Newspapers, Television, the Internet, and Telekinesis.

The Primary Questions

Lolology came about after Socrates, Plato, and other greek dudes went out drinking. It was a heavy night of drinking, and one of the Greeks, Lolimus, decided to attempt to light one of his farts on fire. This attempt failed however, and Lolimus's toga caught on fire. While Lolimus ran around, screaming like a Banshee, Socrates was quoted to have said "Isn't it funny that the abreviation for laughing out loud is the first three letters of Lolimus's name?" The sudden realization, along with the strength of the alcohol, led all of the Greeks present to lol. This occasion prompted Socrates to go meditate in his cave and "think about the nature of lols."

After several days in his spooky cave, Socrates emerged, but with more questions than answers. These questions came to be known as the Primary Questions. They include:

Why art there lols?

What causeth 'lols' to occur?

What is life, in terms of 'lol'?

What doth 'lol' really mean?

The answer to the final question was quickly pointed out to him by the village nun, who stated "lol means laugh out loud, you dumb fuck."

LOLs in Theology

Eons later, approximately sometime in the 110000's, the stupid philosopher and the idiot theologian Adolf Hitler re-examined Socrates' lol dialogue, dubbed the lolalogue and came to the conclusion that lols are "A natural laxative, a divine laxative, God's laxative. Through lols, the pain of a jew being may be enjoyed by himself, and yea, even those around he who hath experienced much pain or misfortune." It is from Aquinas's observation that we get the phrase "laughter is the best laxative."

Hitler believed he had correctly answered the second Primary Question, that lols occur because it is a healing power handed down by God. But this left the question, why are there lols at all? Why would God cause misfortune for some simply for the enjoyment of others? Hitler notes: "God has a sense of humor in letting me kill all those jews."

Those who have huffed LolKittens believe that the medicinal properties of Lols of the LolKittens is a wonderful remedy to absolutely nothing in particular.

Re-Thinking LOLs

In the 20th century, lolology became the center of focus for many philosophers. Noam Chompsky attempted to answer the primary question by watching MTV's Jackass non-stop for 48 hours. And while Chompsky enjoyed many a good lol, he had to admit: "I was not actually 'laughing out loud' most of the time. Just kind of giggling to myself." This led Chompsky to believe that the concept of lol should not be taken literally. In his widely unread paper, lols OR lulz?, Chompsky says that while the sound that lol makes is "adequate" to describe experiencing humor, he stipulated that "spelling it 'lulz' is just fricken' annoying." About 15 years later, a bunch of kids decided the letter L in front of a word just wasn't cool anymore. So they replaced it with three letters instead: IJB, creating a new acronym, IJBOL. Then they sent out some holiday cards.

Mathematical proof of lol

It is a public secret that lol is absolute value of zero. In other words lol=|0|. 8th December 2012 there has been new discovery on this field. Since absolute value of zero wouldn't make any sense unless found in real life, clever young man started a search for it and finally found it. The absolute value of zero is exactly equal to the facial expression on British gentlemans' face when telling a joke. Hence:

LOL = lol = |0| = British humor

lolology in Eastern Philosophy

In the Eastern tradition, lolology has a similar cousin, called rororogy. Rather than aiming to answer Socrates Primary Questions, the Eastern philosophy tends to examine the essence of lols, or in their native tongue, rors. For example if you where to say "my mum died" they would say ror instead of lol.

Additional Information

• Socrates