E-girl
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The E-girl (kæwæɪɪ ʌwʌ), or 'sexualem pro sexus causa', is a beast commonly found prowling the depths of the internet. It's most predominant food source is the "whale," which it seduces via eye contact over a digital medium, and lies to entice it into opening its bank account which it then feeds off of. The E-girl is extremely dangerous, and is one of the very few creatures where it is actually more dangerous to watch from a distance than to actually be right next to.
Description[edit | edit source]
The E-girl is a broad species, encompassing a large variety of subspecies and various mutant outliers. The most typical E-girl can be found with brightly colored hair, feline or rodent-esque ears, well developed... other body parts, and a high-pitched almost comedic voice. Prominent eyelashes, large wet eyes, duck-like lips, very long tongue, and spindly fingers are also hallmarks of the standard E-girl. Variations include multicolored hair, differing levels of makeup, and the style of habitat they reside in (lighting, decor, etc.).
The E-girl is very hot blooded and has poor thermal regulation, which forces them to disregard traditional clothing and instead aim for the least amount possible in order to stay cool. Their proximity to their symbiotic relative (PeeCeus Computerus) is also another reason for the lack of clothing, as the Peeceus generates even more heat than the E-girl.
E-girls are of varying height (4'11" to 6'4") but the most common height tends to be just above 5'. Many species make up for the lack of height by acquiring large thrones or "gamer chairs" for themselves to sit on so they can still make eye contact with what's in front of them.
E-girls are believed to be extremely fit and in shape due to their almost too-perfect forms, and this is a result of their strict diets of matcha, cup noodles, Oreo cookies, and goat milk. Much like the camel, their bodies are well equipped with dual milk tanks, allowing them to go for lengthy periods without having to stop for liquid intakes.
Behavior[edit | edit source]
The E-girl is loathe to leave its habitat, and will spend the majority of its lifespan hunting its prey via the internet. When it is forced to venture into the world, the E-girl can be easily spotted with its toxic bright hair and its extremely poor social skills. The E-girl has the ability to lead a dual life, creating two personas in its mind that it can alternate between: sexy, confident, internet queen and shy, introverted, social outcast. The E-girl is very prolific in the realm of sexual influence as a result of it using this as part of its feeding cycle. The lack of clothing due to its intense heat generation has the added benefit of attracting potential victims, increasing its chances of obtaining sustenance via the prey's wallet.
Habitat[edit | edit source]
The E-girl habitat is a dangerous zone often located underground in a sort of modern cave. Neon lighting is prolific in the E-girl space, as it allows them to extract all the vitamin D they will ever need without having to ever step into the sunlight. E-girls rarely ever leave their thrones, but in the rare instances when they do, its usually to bend over to fix something on the floor conveniently right in front of the device used to showcase them to potential food sources. This device, known as a webcam, was developed by the E-girls in the early 2000s as a means of more easily finding and interacting with their prey. Their symbiotic partner, the Peeceus, often hides out either on the table in front of their throne or underneath by their feet. The E-girl is a very vain creature, and often displays trophies on the wall behind it as a show of force for other potential E-girls that may come into contact with it, and also as a way of proving its "alpha" status to its potential prey, quickly beating them into submission.
Subspecies[edit | edit source]
Valorantis[edit | edit source]
The Valorantis is generally Asiatic looking, on the short side, and its main food source tends to be middle aged to older white humans. Lesser enjoyed but far weaker prey are Asiatic looking male humans. The Valorantis has developed some-adequate skills as a "gamer" and has translated those skills into playing a game called Valorant. Valorant is a hot mess, and the Valorantis are often not as good as they think, however, the real goal is not to win the game but to feed off of the prey that watches, and most of these creatures have seen modest to high success in recent times, with no sign of failure imminent.
Minecraftids[edit | edit source]
The minecraftids are a rare subspecies of E-girl, and one that often struggles to find success. After years of them being the top of the food chain in their family, the minecraftid has suffered lately as a result of their chosen means of prey-bait becoming less popular. The minecraftid is often very pale due to lack of sun exposure and not much neon lighting in their habitat. The minecraftid also has evolved(?) way too far, and now struggles to retain any body heat at all, causing them to load themselves down with large amounts of clothing and sweatshirts. This has the negative consequence of making prey disinterested in their species as a whole, leading researchers and scientists to conclude that theirs is a quickly dying subspecies.
Roah-Bloxer[edit | edit source]
The roah-bloxer is a subspecies that has seen great success in their survival lately. These E-girl variants are often childish and nearly brainless, yet can function on a level that still indicated some brain activity. The roah-bloxer often spends large amounts of its stored food on increasing its potential to victims via "in game purchases," such as a new hat, a new "skin", or just endless amounts for stuff that researchers aren't even sure what they are exactly. In even more recent times however, there has been some indication that their species is beginning to show cracks, as many of them often deal with even more dangerous predators that roam their chosen hunting grounds.
Poolius Naykids[edit | edit source]
The Poolius Naykids were a very briefly existing subspecies of E-girl that shone brightly for a few months before fading into rarity as a result of being hunted to near extinction. The Poolius had discovered a way to entice vast amounts of fat prey with minimal effort, that being to allow their prey to see them utilizing one of their cooling-down features (a kiddie pool). The Poolius would strip down to as little as possible, and then attempt to cool itself down by standing in a very shallow pool. It's prey would be mesmerized, but due to the large amount of attention this subspecies attracted, it ended up catching the attention of the "Great Cullers", who descended wrathfully upon them and hunted each and every one down. To this day it is extremely rare to find one of these species, and often times they will disappear just as quickly as they appeared.
Loo Pollers[edit | edit source]
The Loo Pollers are a highly intelligent subspecies of E-girl. Researchers have linked them to the Poolius subspecies, and consider them a sub-subspecies as a result. Scientists say that the Loo Pollers were once Poolius Naykids, but as a result of the Great Cullers and genocide following their hunt, many had to go into hiding. While in hiding, their brains grew slightly, allowing them to adapt to the new world they had been thrust into. The Loo Pollers are very good at avoiding the harsh rules imposed by the Cullers, and frequently find new ways to attract large amounts of prey before being noticed by the Cullers and having to adapt once again. The Loo Pollers have been known to: paint themselves entirely green and project a video game onto themselves, play a video game on their green undergarments, play video games while sitting in a pool, abuse animals for fun, harass romantic partners, and generally other "sneaky" underhanded things.
Symbiotic Relationships[edit | edit source]
Peeceus Computerus[edit | edit source]
The Peeceus is an ancient creature that was originally enslaved by the E-girl, but over time, ended up in a highly toxic yet symbiotic relationship. The Peeceus is the primary weapon utilized by the E-girl to hunt for food. In turn, the Peeceus is fed electricity by the E-girl. The both coexist in the same room for hours on end, and both struggle greatly with heat regulation.
Popular E-girls[edit | edit source]
- Pokimane - A rising star that was eventually brought crashing down, Pokimane was an E-girl known for her abuse of her partners, her cats, and literally everything that moved.
- Amouranth - A one time elder of the E-girl commnity, she fell from grace after using the Dark Arts to find prey.
- Belle Delphine - Often regarded as one of the original E-girls, and the queen E-girl, Belle Delphine was eventually captured and imprisoned somewhere unknown.
- Morgpie - Yeah literally just porn, what the fuck twitch.
