Redditus Autismus

An average patient of the ReAt disease.

Redditus Autismus (often abbreviated as ReAt) is a crippling mental condition, primarily affecting depressed, purple-haired bull dykes men (and also some women on subreddits like r/FemaleDatingStrategy) between the ages of 7-49. It is a terrifying condition sweeping across the globe, but is prevalent primarily in the United Kingdom of Great Shitstain and especially the United States of Cringe, where Reddit is headquartered and massively consumed by consoomers on a daily basis.

Origin

When Reddit Island was shut down, it’s creators released their rage, infecting California with an unknown contagion abbreviated as MimDenk, released as jet spraying above a San Francisco Chipotle place.

Common symptoms

• Begging for attention on Reddit when they’re angry or sad.
• Trying to get asspats from random nobodies online.
• Grossly bloated stomachs or emaciation.
• Thyroid problems
• BAWWWW'ing when another Redditor disagrees with their opinions online, followed by trying to report said disagreer.
• Trying to brag about their skills in Japkneez, only to find they couldn’t master basic words.
• Whining about their (lack of) education and how everything's their own fault or their parents' regardless of the circumstances.
• Recording themselves BAWWWW'ing over things that upset them.
• Dressing up like a lolita, a bull-dyke, or a young kid.
• Trying to look more Japkneez ('cause every other country bad, m’kay?).

Redditus Autismus has caused severe autism in 88% of the world’s population; the remaining percent was just too weird.

Cure

With the exception of the Weirdo and the Reality Check, there is no cure for Redditus Autismus and it’s adverse effects. But treatment involves deactivating the victim’s Reddit account, getting the patient off Reddit, and into employment, education and/or training to no longer be classified as a NEET.