Semicolon Cancer

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Semicolon cancer is a dangerous cancer, often overlooked by doctors. Sometimes it is passed off as just regular Colon Cancer, or sometimes it's mistaken for a really bad case of gas. This is very deadly, though, because if left untreated, Semicolon Cancer can cause extreme bloatage of your semicolon, and is known to cause Bleeding of the Comma, Exploding Periods, or even worse,

The worst case of Semicolon Cancer ever in history; Period.

Semideath. Some symptoms of Semicolon cancer is a sore comma, period, or enlarged semicolons.If you believe you have Semicolon cancer, go to a Doctor or a Computer Technician immediately, because Semicolon cancer is not a joke. Make sure to get your semicolon checked out, especially if you have a history of Semicolon Cancer in your family. Sometimes, Semicolon cancer is simply called ;Cancer, and can be very secretive, sometimes you won't even know you have it until it's in the final stages.

How to Self-Check for Semicolon Cancer[edit]

The following are some of the most common symptoms of Semicolon Cancer:

  • Loss of Appetite
  • Going into a Comma
  • Massive Periods (even in males)
  • Swollen Semicolon
  • Loss of your appendix
  • Random and unprovoked ejaculation

If you are expiriencing more than one of the following, contact your doctor and scedule an appointment immediately!

What You Should do if You Aren't Experiencing any of the above Symptoms but Still Think you have Semicolon Cancer[edit]

You can go to an experienced Semicolon professional and get an X-ray (as my family doctor has said so many times). Too bad my doctor isn't and experienced Semicolon professional (he claims he is, but trust me, do not believe him, no seriously don't).

What you might see in an X-ray of your semicolon.

“In order to test for Semicolon Cancer, I suggest you find a professional who knows what he is doing. If you do not know anyone with experience in semicolons, however, here is my suggestion to you. Grab a large Q-tip, and rub the inside of your Semicolon. If it comes out red, or cannot fit in your semicolon at all, I suggest you find an experienced Semicolon Professional (like me) to check it out immediately.”

~ My Doctor on Semicolon Cancer

If you follow that, and get yourself checked regularly, you shouldn't ever have a problem with your semicolon.

Things You Should Not Do if you have Semicolon Cancer[edit]

If you do, however, develop a problem with your semicolon, these are the things you should not do.

  • Try to perform Self Surgery
  • Light your semicolon on fire
  • Make penis jokes in an attempt to cheer it up
  • Ask it politely to leave
  • Ask it rudely to leave
  • Bribe it
  • Complain

All of those things will Irritate your Semicolon Cancer, in which it will give off an Odorous Green Gas, sometimes known as SemiFlatulation, or a Demifart.

Known Causes of Semicolon Cancer[edit]

There are numerous things that can cause Semicolon Cancer, but since the list is so long that we had to shorten it to the top five. If you wanted a longer list, then see Everything.

A major cause of Semicolon Cancer. Beware the Kitten Huffing, it's Not cool.

1. Kitten Huffing

2. Corn Husking

3. Political Debates

4. School

5. Having a history of Semicolon problems in your Family.

  Cancer Made Easy
Cancer - Cancer (beverage) - Cancer (constellation) - Cancer porn - Clap for Cancer - HowTo:Cure Cancer - Malignant Cancer - Semicolon Cancer - UnNews:Breathing may lead to cancer - UnNews:Cancer is racist - UnNews:Cancer research causes cancer - UnNews:Local cancer loses battle with woman - UnNews:Uncyclopedia Cures Cancer - UnTunes:Are we human or are we cancer? - Why?:Cancer is Great Cancer-cola.jpg