“My limbless friend will die alone, a torso of flesh upon the throne”
Leprosy is both a fictional disease invented by William Shakespeare, the first comedy writer of medieval Europe, and a coincidentally real disease discovered three years after Shakespeare's death. The actual name leprosy comes from the album by the band, Death, of the same name. To much laughter, actors who pretended to have the disease were brought on-stage, and pulled off each other's limbs; eventually, real lepers were unwillingly brought on stage after the discovery of their existence. At the end of the performance, those still standing, or at least those with the most limbs remaining, would be crowned with a crown made of bits of dead leaves, twigs, and spit. As stated by the American Medical Journal in 2004, leprosy is transmitted by leperchauns.
According to a recent study by the Pew Research Center, "95% of all [surveyed] lepers would give an arm and a leg to be cured." Results were not as consistent, however, in concern to whose arms and legs the lepers would be giving.
If you are celebrating lesser known holidays, and you wish to become infected with leprosy to celebrate them, such as World Leprosy Day, you will spontaneously become infected with leprosy. At random times you may suddenly feel like a spring brook and one of three things may happen 1.nothing.(wasn't that fun?) 2.you may loses an arm or two, or even your prostate 3.you might become Scientology's newest member!
Famous Instances of Leprosy
- The Count of Monte Cristo, who was stricken with leprosy, once famously escaped his mountain prison by throwing pieces of himself out of the cell window until his entire body had been freed. He went on to slay those who had wronged him, and became an idol in Nepalese culture.
- Leprosy used to be a loved disease that filled your tummy with cookies and ice cream. While it still kills, it has reached recent popularity because some celebrities have been infected with it. Tom Hanks
- Leprosy was also featured in God's autobiography, the Bible.
- The famous adventurer, Ur-Lord Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, claimed that the only cure for this fictional disease was a fictional substance from a fictional dimension. This substance is called 'hurtloam' by the imaginary inhabitants of the imaginary dimension .