Sexual frustration

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“Sexual frustration? That sounds frustrating, sexually”

~ Captain Obvious on SF.
This helpful diagram (or piece-o'-shit scribble, depending on how you look at it), demonstrates how SF can move through a crowd. Notice how some people are affected twice, and some not at all. This is probably because they all have rabies.

Sexual frustration is a disease commonly found in men. If you are worried that a man you know may suffer from this sometimes terminal disease, then before consulting your local GP, check that he has at least two of the following symptoms:

  • He has regular trips to the supermarket, to buy toiletries
  • He often sits at his computer watching educational videos
  • You have caught him browsing the website for Fleshlights

Dangerous Side-Effects[edit | edit source]

This illustrative illustration shows some of the main symptoms of SF, presented to you in a stylish frame (1). The man's face is very red (2). This is because he has lost his dignity. His hands are reaching for his cock (3). He is dribbling (4). He has a vacant expression (5). And finally, he is publicly wearing no clothes (6).

Often, when viewing a member of the public, a man with this disease can lose his dignity by resorting to getting his dong out, and dribbling on her bra. Also, taking one off the hand in public is very common for the unfortunate sufferers. As sexual frustration is a disease, it can quite easily be spread. The usual methods of contracting this disease are coughing, sneezing, close physical contact, breathing, raping, and sometimes even just a long stare. Because of this you must employ constant vigilance, and always carry a condom/tissue/biography of Jesus on your person.

A graphical approximation of how to get laid. Study closely.

Are you a sufferer?[edit | edit source]

Well, if you think you are, then you shouldn't be reading this article! Go and get some help. See the diagram on the right for ideas as to exactly how you should go about doing this.

Books to Read[edit | edit source]

Movies to see[edit | edit source]