Masturbation (disambiguation)

This is how you do it.

Masturbation is, by far, the most idiotic solo activity among people who attempt to deny doing it. Depending on who your partner is, masturbation is the cheapest, simplest form of entertainment, and has recently crippled the board games market. Masturbation usually sounds like this: "FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP". An additional "FAP" means that they're in fact kitten huffing. Aside from occasional references on most CBS programs, masturbation is quite hidden in terms of popular culture. The Rolling Stones' Wankwankwankwank (sung to the tune of Paint it Black), for example, is one of the few songs which references masturbation, as, quite simply, no one wants to admit it.

While we're sure you ended up here entirely by accident, you might enjoy:

• Masturbation (sport)
• Masturbaction
• Crying while wanking
• Killing some kittens
• HowTo:Beet off
• Being a wanker
• Playing mind games
• Feeling wracked with guilt and shame
• Getting a girlfriend
• Mastication
• Mass debating

This is a disambiguation page. This means we're trying to make sense of things. Stop us, now.

  A Cornucopia Of Copulation

Activities & Objects:  Adult toys • Alien Porn • Anal sex • Ass • Blowjob • Cum • Dating • Dildo • Doggy style • Foreplay • Handjob • Hentai • Incest • Logging • Long walks on the beach • Masturbation • Metaporn • Mouth • Pearl necklace • Pegging • Penis² • Phone sex • Pineapple titties • Pornography • Rape • Sex • Sexual intercourse • Sideboob  • Sperm • Spooning • Tits • Tittyfuck rape • Tongue • Vagina • Vaseline •  Vibrator Concepts & Philosophies:  A crush on a girl who is not single • Asexuality • Badly Drawn Porn • Bestiality • Bisexuality • Fetish • Friends with Benefits • Heterosexuality • Hoboeroticism • Homosexuality • Hot indiscriminate sex • HowTo:Be a Romantic • Love • My Chemical Romance • Pansexuality • Pawnography • Post-masturbatory depression • Pregnancy • Prostitution • Selective Inbreeding • Sexual innuendo • STDs • Tantra • The Birthday Suit Society & Culture:  2 Girls 1 Cup • Captain Autofellatio • Dr. Ruth • Gay • History of Porn • Humosexual • Lesbo • Lonely hearts column • Movie Of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing • My Week Without Porn • People Who Like to Fuck Naked • Pounding bat sodomy • The Love Page • Tits or GTFO! • UnDebate:Is it the size of the ship or the motion in the ocean? • UnPoetia:Show Me Your Tits!