Fuck Around and Find Out
“Frankly, my dear, fuck around and find out.”
– Clark Gable on Fuck Around and Find Out
“I think Out can watch himself for a while. Now, where's this Around guy?”
Fuck Around and Find Out, often abbreviated to FAFO, is a philosophy often used by parents, teachers and scholars worldwide to explain why a person may suddenly find out they have a boot solidly lodged 14 inches into their rectum. The person may not realize this happened immediately after doing something stupid, due to having been hit in the head by something moving at least 10 miles an hour by a bystander just before the boot entered their anal canal.
History[edit | edit source]
The phrase was coined by Greek[1] philosopher Doesitlooklikeigiveafuckēs sometime a few thousand years in the past, after seeing another crusty philosopher state "Boy, I hope this turtle catapult works!" before dying of a turtle-induced head injury.[2]
FAFO spread quickly around Europe, with English king Harold II taunting French[3] soldiers at the Battle of Hastings, immediately before getting shot in the eye. This earned him a spot in the Hall of Fame only a few hundred years later. Good for you, Harry!
Common misconceptions[edit | edit source]
FAFO is commonly mistaken for "Fuck a Round and Find Out" where one engages in sexual intercourse with an obese person. However, this is very clearly not the case, and may result in further FAFO needing to be administered with a large brick.
It is also commonly believed that the consequences do not have to be severe, but they always must result in extreme pain and are often obscenely biological.
Notable uses[edit | edit source]
The following is a transcript between J. Bruce Ismay and Captain E. J. Smith, aboard the Titanic on the night of April 14, 1912.
“Kick the speed up, old boy!”
– J. Bruce Ismay
“You got it, old chap!”
– Captain Smith
“Time for some FAFO!”
– An unrelated iceberg
This also shows that most British people are either extremely old or can't see worth enough shit to notice how old they look.
Gouverneur Morris was an avid practicer of FAFO, as shown by this entry in his wife's diary:
“And af he found the whalebone, he doth ftated: 'Boy, I wonder what would happen...' before fhoving it up hif dickhole and dying.”
– Ann Cary "Nancy" Randolph, 1816
FAFO today[edit | edit source]
With the rise of Gen Alpha, FAFO has seen a sharp rise in popularity. Eating Tide Pods and consuming large amounts of Benadryl can result in a deadly level of FAFO. Aside from that, FAFO has seen a gradual increase, likely connected with the loss of common sense.
FAFO Hall of Fame[edit | edit source]
The International Association of Fuck Around and Find Out (IAOFAFO) is the premier association of organized FAFO, and awards important people to the founding of the practice, as well as people who have done something fucked up enough, a spot in the FAFO Hall of Fame. Notable members include;
- Doesitlooklikeigiveafuckēs, for being a founding member of IAOFAFO
- Unknown Turtle-head Guy, for Earliest example of FAFO
