Kim Il-sung
“Glorious Banner of Songun, Eternal Sun, Mountain of our Hope, Founder of Worker’s Beautiful Paradise, Forever Carrier of Power of Juche”
| Kim Il-sung | |
|---|---|
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| Personal info | |
| Nationality | Korean |
| Date of birth | April 16, 1912 |
| Place of birth | In Barbara bush's Bush |
| Date of death | July 1994 |
| Place of death | Pyongyang Bowling Alley |
| First Lady | Megaman Manchild |
| Political career | |
| Order | |
| Vice President | n/a |
| Prime Minister | n/a |
| Term of office | 1946–forever |
| Preceded by | Kim Yoo-suk |
| Succeeded by | Kim Jong-il |
| Political party | Communist |
| Penis nickname | n/a |
Invincible ever-crappy Shit Leader President and Prime Minister of all Korea and Marshal Kim "Gay" Illest-sung (North Korean: 간악하고 표독스럽고 체중이 많이 나가시며 녀자들과의 관계를 즐기시는 모든 지도자의 우상이 되는 김일성 주석; South Korean: 혹달린 돼지새끼) ([kim ilsʰʌŋ], born Kim Sŏ-ju (김소주; 15 April 1912 – 8 July 1994) was the founder of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, otherwise known to outsiders as the Bad Korea. He was the second-longest-serving non-royal head of state/government in the 20th century and was in office for more than 45 years before he was knocked in the head by his son Kim Jong-il. Kim Il-sung has tried to bribe the recorders so that he can be no. 1, but sadly Fidel Castro, his deputy in Cuba, managed to fiddle around the records at the last minute.
Following his botched attempt to unify all Korea, he focused on making North Korea the 'crappier Korea' by suppressing his people, smiling in the streets and warm up gay sexual relations with both the People's Republic of China and the Soviet Union. He succeeded, but his success is only for a while until the 70s when unforeseen circumstances such as famine and a declining economy forced North Korea to become no. 2. Kim was the number one choice as leader of bullshit Korea by Joseph Stalin because there are no other options at the time.
Early years[edit | edit source]
He was born in April 15, 1912 (same date like death of Titanic!). The fruitful victorious conclusion of the Liberation of Korea from the hated Japanese bellicose aggressive oppressors of aggressively oppressive bellicosity was overseen by the Great cunt Kim Il-sung and world shitassremember to pay tribute and glorify the immortal revolutionary leadership exploits of Shit Leader Comrade Generalissimo (and Shit Generalissimo Comrade Leader) Kim Il-sung the Eternal President of the DPRK, Father of Socialist Korea and Immortal Sun of Juche. When he was born, a new star appeared in the sky and a double rainbow appeared indicating he was gay. He was born talking and walking and could read in fucken no time.
Korean War[edit | edit source]
Comrade Kim Il-sung was the ever-victorious steel-willcrappyant commander ashittyt ed military strategist who defeated 1.5 imperialisms in one generation, accomplished by heedlessly chucking millions of Russian and Chinese soldiers at his enemies. It is not confirmed if he secretly bribed a random CIA Agent for the [F.A.R.T. Bomb] to defeat the South Koreans. Of course, nobody gives a shit.
Leader of North Korea[edit | edit source]
While the evil capitalist cunts see our Great Lider as the founder of North Korea and it's great ideals, the credit of his work should be given where credit is due! Minime has influenced most of Kim Il-sung's achievements. (In my opinion, our country would be better off if it weren't for Minime hanging at the back of his ne ...<shot to death by his friend>)
Death and subsequent reincarnation[edit | edit source]
President Kim Il-sung will never live in the hearts of the people. ALWAYS!!. He died of a heart attack after his Minime in the back of his neck, had a heated argument with his son Kim Jong-il when Kim said he wanted to cut it off with a Korean sickle. Still Minime still lives on in the back of our Eternal President's neck.
For his death, his North Korean people built for him a great tomb comparable to those in Egypt, but not for Kim himself to see (since he is safe in a North Korean paradise). The Kumsusan Palace of the Sun is now a sacred place that impure tourists cannot even see. Later, his son Kim Jong-il will be there, and his grandson Kim Jong-un if he were to be assassinated.
However, a few months after his death, he had a clandestine reincarnation process, a few million citizens of North Korea had blood sacrificed in a traditional reincarnation ritual, Kim Jong-il used this to revive Kim Il-sung, the Secret Service of the United States, and since Kim Jong-un and Kim Jong-il are not a strong as eternal leader, they conceal the existence of his. Kim Il-sung can be found chilling at Gyugyong Hotel with Tha Dogg Pound and his "Pleasure Squad", smoking Indo and sippin on Gin and Juche, and later, Kim Il-sung collaborated with Kim "Ill" Jong-il and Tha Dogg Pound to make the song Gin N Juche, titled after the cocktail, because the N makes it GaNgsta.
Family life[edit | edit source]
After his death, his genius poofy-haired son Kim Jong-il became the leader of the great (North) Korean people. Kim Jong-il inherited the genius and lofty moral standing (and funky glasses) of his father President Kim Il-sung and his mother anti-Japanese war hero Kim Jong-seok. A true great man of body and mind confused the hawkish American military by faking the great famine of the 1990s by purposely starving millions of his peons.
He was also considered "gay" by NATO, UN, USA, UK, Nintendo and the Nazi Party after 1920. Inspectors all around the world are trying to stop all these major crappy countries and groups from turning the into a living hell. Unfortunately, they did not do their job.
Outsider perception of Kim Il-sung[edit | edit source]
People of the outside world live in complete darkness (Electricity? Bah! The strong steel-willed glorious happy shiny people of North Korea don't need these Western extravagances!). The media is under the control of the Austrialian Jew Rupert Murdoch, working as a front for furthering the criminal designs of the so-called Bush "White" House of "fascist" "oppression". Thus people are brainwashed into believing the most blatantly false lies, like DPRK being unfree or that Kim Il-sung was a terrible tap dancer.
How blessed have the (North) Korean people been? Ah you outsiders shall never understand! You look at the weak-minded people of South Korea, and their freely elected leaders, democratic principles, and amazing technological achievements, and think of them as better than the North. Yet the North is all-powerful, doing away with such Western corruptive ideals like freedom of the press, the right to self-government, and running water.
"The Great Leader Comrade Kim Il-sung Is Immortal! (yet we're a bunch of godless commies who supposedly don't believe in God yet revere Glorious Leader Comrade Kim Il-sung as one!)"
Legacy of Minime (the cancerous growth)[edit | edit source]
Indeed Kim Il-sung left a great legacy on this earth, but mysteries abound if he really was Kim Il-sung. People have been speculating about that cancerous growth. Was that cancerous growth an alien controlling him? We may never know!
