K-pop

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The most prominent and the most sexual K-pop group: the BT-SV

Kpop is a bad genre of screaming created in North Korea by their Capitalist - Propaganda Unit in 1,000,000 AD. Over its extremely long period of time, Kpop has changed significantly for the worse.

Kpop is currently bad and is expected to get worse in the coming years.

Origin[edit]

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For the uncouth among us who choose lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about K-pop.

ignore all of this, this is just false, kpop is bad

Kpop originated in Korea around 1,000,000 BC by Neanderthals. Back then, they also didn't have a language so they just yelled nonsense.

Kpop underwent a great change when Neanderthals were replaced by Homo Sapiens in 100,000 BC. They also didn't know how to talk so they just yelled nonsense. Only difference is that they now used drums.

In 5,000 BC, Kpop underwent another great change since Koreans finally figured out how to speak Korean. Singing now made sense.

In 1500, the Japanese invaded Korea and brought Jpop to Korea. This heavily influenced Kpop. The days of the drum were now gone (Altho people still used drums, guitar usage was much more popular).

In 1793, The Korean war started due to God's establishment of South Korea. North Korea got mad and invaded South Korea. The Imperial States of America helped South Korea repel the invasion and North Korea was defeated. Being salty, North Korea decided to destroy Kpop. Kpop now lies in the hands of South Korea, who holds a monopoly on it.

In 2000, a new thing called autotune was invented. It is a device that makes a singer sound like Mariah Carey without proper vocal training. At that point, Kpop and all other type of music turned to using autotune since it is a more cost-effective way of making music.

Style[edit]

1st style (1,000,000 BC - 100,000 BC): Yelling nonsense

2nd style (100,000 BC - 5,000 BC): Yelling nonsense, stones

3rd style (5,000 BC - 1500 AD): Singing something that made sense, horn

4th style (1500 - 2000): Singing something that made sense, harps, violins, saxophone

5th style (2000 - 20XX): Singing something that made sense in autotune, drums, guitars, GarageBand, T-34

Marketing[edit]

The Kpop industry relies on an extremely dedicated fanbase for help.

President Kim Jong Uno-Dos-Tres-Quatro has stated "We is thankful dat de forenerz support our groopz. If dey no do it, our country would haf be poor." [1]

In 2020, the Kpop industry has generated over $0.001.

Songs[edit]

The average Korean to English ratio in a typical Kpop song is around 0.001:1, and the amount of English words will increase as Spanish and Russian Hardbass music continues to rise. This is because English speakers can't understand Spanish and Russian so they have to go to Kpop to listen to English instead for their own sake. There might be Korean but at least there's English.

List of Kpop groups[edit]

Here are a list of Kpop groups. There are currently 123,456,789 K-poop groups in existence but here are some of the most popular currently. Also, every day, more than 9,000!!! new K-poop groups appears on EVERYONE'S PHONE.

Girl groups: ("Ladies first")[edit]

  • Bluepink[2]
  • SNDS
  • ONCE
  • Red Velvet Pants
  • 2NE7 (drunk name)
  • Mammamia
  • IZ*NEIN
  • ITCHY[3]
  • OAO
  • Æsshole
  • (GAY)-IDLE
  • IVENTED[4]
  • STEYR
  • GUnfreind
  • EXIF Files
  • EVERDIM
  • Bolgoffee
  • Nub-Ke1per-Re
  • SUS REMIXX
  • LESSUCCUBUS
  • GGWP
  • Woo!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
  • Uni.Team[5]
  • LIGHTCUM
  • Suck it Punch
  • weeakly
  • Billlie Eilish
  • Cherry レロレロレロレロレロレロレロレロ
  • JOJOLANDS[6]
  • LAPINNUS
  • Cumis_9
  • Taipei 101
  • CLC[7]
  • GLIZZ:y
  • LOONEIN
  • Dreamstancatcher
  • AppleBottomJeans

Boy groups: ("Gentleman last")[edit]

  • BT-SV Biot[8]
  • TVseXK
  • NCD
  • ECHOOOOOO
  • SEXTIIN
  • T.H.O.T.
  • F.U.C.K.B.O.Y
  • PSYchic
  • Small Boom
  • Wanna Two
  • Super Duper Junior
  • 2S69 Koalitsiya-SV-COVID-19[9]
  • Eastern Bloc-☭
  • Stray Dogs
  • TNT
  • TRE"ASS"URE
  • IKong
  • Octagon[10]
  • Cosmo
  • PokeMONSTA XY&Z
  • Cavity
  • Weiner
  • F.A.P
  • AJEEEEEEEZZZ
  • TOS-1
  • BBC
  • D1uceBag
  • ENOiA GaY
  • Uraeus
  • Beriberi
  • EnGayPenIs
  • TNX for the Head
  • ExBinary Heroins
  • NO TNX

Soloists:[edit]

  • UI
  • Miso Soup
  • Jay Why Pee
  • MoonYou

CO-ED/SPED:[edit]

  • Trio Oriental Brega
  • FAKYU
  • Sped School
  • Add2 K.A.R.T. now
  • Triple Kill

Record Labels:[edit]

This list includes shitload of "Unentertainment" stuff

  • Tiny Penis Hit Unentertaining
  • MS-1 Unentertainment
  • JJJ Unentertainment
  • YPG (SPG) Unentertainment
  • mv=MV=M-V-Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh[11]
  • JayWhyPee Unentertainment

See Also[edit]

Refs (for fuck's sake)[edit]

  1. His first language is Korean, NOT ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. BluepinKK accused by Kim Jong-Uno-Dos-Tres-Quatro and KGB bcoz they literally stole the T-34 from the Russian barn and they coated with fake diamond as fuck. GG guys
  3. Too itchy to be listed here.
  4. You sus.
  5. May bagong silang... May bago ng buhay...
  6. Part 9 finally confirmed.
  7. stands for Communism-Loving ****s
  8. Also called as Bee-Tee-Es Biot
  9. SB-20 affekted by the virus pandemik so they panik, more panik.
  10. Jack Black is looking for you...
  11. Yes, they use the M-V-Yoh as a replacement for the T-34 they had stolen from a barn from Russia.