BTS
BTS | |
|---|---|
 Two members of BTS, Junglebook (left) and Jimin (right), in the music video for "Sex Girl Hot" | |
| Background information | |
| Origin | Kibo and North Sentinel Island |
| Genres |
|
| Years active | 1996–present |
| Labels | Lil' Penis Hit Unentertainment |
| Members | Junglebook, V, Suga, Jimin, RM, Jebediah Lewis, J-Hope, Kim Jong-Un, and Barack Obama |
“BTS BIOT!”
BTS, also known as BT-SYV (Big Tiger Stares at Your Vagina), BaT FuCk InSanE, Bloody Terrible Singing, Behind the Scenes, or Bang Ten Boys is a North Korean Japanese boy band that formed in 1996 in Orem, Utah during the wake of other boy bands coming out of nowhere when we least needed them such as NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. The band didn't become relevant until 2018 when they released hit songs such as "I'm Love You", "Dance All Night All Night", and "Sex Girl Hot". Their songs are so annoying that even Justin Bieber's songs from the early 2010s are more listenable. (Note that this article is just a joke! Please, do not attack us stans!)
History[edit | edit source]
BTS formed in 1996 in Orem, Utah by all seven members of the anime club at the Utah Valley University; Junglebook, V, Suga, Jimin, RM, Jebediah Lewis, and J-Hope. They were funded by Kim Jong-Un and Barack Obama. The band, originally known as Japan Super Niggas (JSN), hoped to become as successful as other popular boy bands at the time, but like anyone would expect a bunch of Asian boys and Koreaboos that didn't know good English in a sea of racist white Mormons, JSN was an utter failure. They sold CDs of their debut album in the parking lot of a Home Depot for 3 years until they earned enough money the tour around other diverse locations to sell their CDs such as Walmart and 7-Eleven.
In the late 2010s when out of nowhere a bunch of 14-year-old girls decided that they were obsessed with Kor- er, Japan, the band, now middle-aged men, finally found success only 22 years after their formation. They then changed their band name to Big Tiger Star (BTS) as Twitter claimed "Japan Super Niggas" was racist because the band was not fully Japanese, as one of the members, J-Hope, was actually from glorious nation of China. BTS later went on their first world tour to exotic cities such around the globe like Seattle, Vancouver, New York City, and Warrenton, Virginia.
In the 2020s, BTS still chooses to be relevant has released more annoying hits such as "Nigga We Fuck", "Permission to Give Head", and "Me Penis In You Hot Girl Butthole". They also released their first all-English compilation album called Proof That We're Still Alive.
Military service[edit | edit source]
In 2022, it was announced that BTS would be serving in the military. However, they would be given their special branch of military called the BTS Army where young fans could also fight with them as well. Their label prevented them from getting into the military, but that would give them a bad name.
South Korean propaganda[edit | edit source]
After their song "Bob-omb" got nominated for a Grammy, the South Korean government decided to make BTS the one true gods of the entire country, just like what the British government did after they knighted Ed Sheeran. Except, they're not the one true gods of the entire music industry, because obviously you know who's controlling the entire music industry right now. They would be able to commit crimes in the country without getting arrested. Basically, the South Korean government decided to do something similar to what the British government did. Also, they were given spots in the government to vote on policies, but they don't seem to be bothered with politics. Since then, their ear-piercing songs have been on radio airwaves, and soon they'll be able to take over the world soon.
(Unlistenable) Discography[edit | edit source]
- Light and Normal (2014)
- Sleep (2014)
- Adults (2016)
- Hands (2016)
- Look at Myself (2018)
- Hate Yourself: Eyes (2018)
- Map of Your Soul: 8 (2020)
- Map of Your Soul: 8 – The Journey (2020)
- Mine (2020)
