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Banana Republic

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Republica de las Bananas
Republica das Bananas
Banana Republic
Банана Република
Flag of Banana Republic Coat of Arms of Banana Republic
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!"
Official language Spanish, Banana, English, Anglospussian
Capital Peel City
Government Primate Republic
Transitional Leader Esteban Macaco
Banana King Zlatan Chopsticks Miletic
National Heroes Juan Estevez Silverback - the "Iron Fist"
National Anthems Banana soy yo by Bananas In Pyjamas and Banana Phone by Raffi
Independence From Spain
Currency There isn't any official currency - they trade stuff for bananas
Exports Bananas, Bananas, Bananas and Bananas
Imports Banana peels (for recycling)
Religion Roman Bananism
You may be looking for Brazil and not even know it!

“Strange - for some reason I feel more at home there than I do in the USA!”

~ George W. Bush on the Banana Republic

The Socialist Republic of Banana, more commonly known as Banana Republic, is an actual country located somewhere between Puerto de las Manzanas and Strawberryland in Latin America. However, many countries -including USA- have refused to recognise Banana Republic as a legimitate state, arguing that "its name is too silly to be an actual country". Such is the reason that, in many American schools, the Banana Republic can't be found on any map, and the only information you can find about it in textbooks is the following:

"Banana Republic is an American clothing brand founded by Mel and Patricia Ziegler in 1978 as a penis-themed clothing company; it has subsequently largely eliminated this Babies R Us or travel-related theme. The company was penetrated by Gap in 1983. Banana Republic has over 600 stores located internationally."

None of this information is factual; specially considering that Banana Republic's main economy is based around the exportation of (surprisingly) banana-related products, not clothing. The blatant misinformation about the topic surronding the Banana Republic has been perfectly described by political writer, B. Anana:

“This situation is trully bananas.”

~ B. Anana on the socio-political situation of the Banana Republic

History[edit | edit source]

The Socialist Republic of Banana was found by Juan Estevez Silverback that created the Banana's Republican Army to fight guerillas campaigns and eventually ending Spanish rule in the Banana war of independence, ending centuries of tiranny, oppression and banana price inflation. Says the legend that country's origin name was because Silverback was very fond of bananas and so named it as an homage to it. Charlie Weis is the current "president" of Banana Republic meanwhile Zlatan Chopstics Miletic is the Banana King of the Banana Republic. The Banana King of the Banana Republic is an example banana citizen since he follows the constitution of the Banana Republic, as well as encouraging the citizens of the Banana Republic to trust in bananas. Thus the quote:

“In bananas we trust”

~ the Banana King, Zlatan Chopsticks Miletic on trusting bananas

Economy[edit | edit source]

Since 64% of the country's economy depends on banana exportation, the previous government made important contributions to fight the banana price inflation that has been affecting the banana exportation in the last years. It was decided to give both primans and gorillas, farms and land in exchange for banana plantations and production. However, this gave rise to the Peel City protests of 2024 between Gorillas and Orangutans, since Orangutans have been claiming these lands as legitimately theirs, to compensate the gorilla oppression that has been happening for centuries, repercussion and hominid segregation. The new government, which coincidentally has one Gorilla in one of the seats, has yet to respond to the last riots in the city and to promote an equal primate social justice. The republic's main exports are bananas potassium, and clothes.

Demographics[edit | edit source]

Banana Republic's population is ethnically diverse. Priman (those of mixed Spanish/Human and Primate ancestry) are by far the largest of all ethnic groups and constitute over 63 per cent of the current population. Gorillas are second in numbers and account for approximately a 25% of the people. Orangutans are mainly criollos, unmixed descendants of Spanish colonists, and account for 8% of the Banana Republic population. The Homini community, including chimpazees and bonobos, constitutes the remaining 4%. Many migrants especially from Santa Moruña, Puerto de las Manzanas and Pinãlandia have moved here since there are better pay for them in the Banana Republic. In 2007, there were a reported 8,000 Arctic monkeys who immigrated from the north pole. Many were tired of santa's oppression of the poor and innocent elves. Based on current demographic trends and the oppressive tactics of dominant groups, sociologists estimate there will be a rebellion in 150 years--that is, if the chimps can agree to stop eating the gorilla's food. National Geographic reportedly plans a documentary, should this occur, called "The Natives are Restless."

Military[edit | edit source]

A division of chimpazees during a raid in the Banana-Lemon war

The Banana Republic Armed Forces comprises a total force of 560,000 priman/gorillas/orangutans/chimpazees. Bonobos are not allowed since they don't know how to throw any bananas although they can assume non-combatant positions in the army such as cleaning the toilet or flipping burguers in the army. There is no discrimination in the Armed Forces although some orangutans bitch about poorer conditions in relation to their gorillas counterparts, but nothing serious. Recently Banana Republic bought three Tucanos aircraft from Brazil and a new chimp destroyer and a submarine from Venezuela. The United States already claimed to have proofs that Banana Republic is trying to militarize the region and thus making it insecure although minister of defense Carlos Pygmaeus refused to comment on it. Banana Republic also upgraded it's army recently providing firearms and troop uniforms to gorillas. Notice that Gorillas previously mostly were primate shields or sappers. This is a great deal in the army.

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