Slipping on a Banana Peel
Slipping on a Banana Peel is an unfunny and often painful way of making two year olds laugh. Banana peels have grown into dangerous objects over the centuries and have been adopted by many cultures. The most famous use of the banana peel was Mario, who, seeing its slipping ability, attached a manual banana firing gun onto his car. This was not as accurate as Green Shell, however, and is often dodged by experienced three-year olds playing Donkey Kong.
The Long History of Banana Peel Slipping[edit | edit source]
Not many people know where the elusive banana peel actually started to get slipped on, but there are a few theories.
No.1[edit | edit source]
Mr U. Ncylopedia has explained in a detailed interview that fossil studies show that dinosaurs were slipping on banana peels in their day. These fossils provided startling discoveries for the group of paleontologists - banana peels hadn't always been unliving objects of bad humour - once they were living. Millions of years ago bananas had evolved their skin to hunt for them. These nocturnal skins dropped off at night and prowled for food, finding anything they could to eat.
Their main source of attack was standing under an animal's feet and letting the animal slip over them. (This was not so with Grues, though, and a few unfortunate banana peels fell victim these fierce monsters). Their mating, nesting, breeding and habitat is still not known - but you can't find much from a leg bone, can you? The killer banana peels lived all over the world, but seem to have originated from Croato-Serbia. Over the millions of years, humans evolved and seeing the banana peels comical abilities began putting them under people's feet. Over time the banana peels evolved and eventually lost all thought, feeling or movement, as humans were now the main cause of banana related accidents (including WW2, 9/11, the Titanic and your birth).
No.2[edit | edit source]
Archaeologist W. Ikipedia scoffs at this, stating that banana peel slipping originated in ancinet Egypt, just before the building of pyramids. Ancient Egyptian priests, lovers of rituals and sacrifices full of blood, fire and teddy bears, first used this method of sacrificing victims when a monk slipped on a banana peel and cracked his skull open. From then on the monks used this gruesome skill to sacrifice criminals and slaves. Pliny the Younger, a famous Roman thinker, described the spectacle:
“We have just witnessed an Egyptian ritual and it is amazing. Two robed priests walk in with a prisoner blindfolded. They lead him to a fruit skin and he slips on it, and dies. It is utterly fascinating, and strangely funny. I myself think this is worth of comedy, but it will never catch on in the modern world. Oh well, might as well keep the gladiators fighting then”
– Pliny the Younger
Actually it did, and here we are today.
Modern Usage[edit | edit source]
Nowadays slipping on banana peels in another part of society, another failed attempt at humour. They are also used to kill people. Here is one way how: Once a man murdered someone and was sentenced to death by banana peel. So he tripped on the banana peel and cracked his head open. By doing this small banana men crawled into his skull instantaneously killing him.
But there is more to it then you think. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, the ancient Mayans predicted the end of the end of the world in 2012. They also found the result - Banana peels! The extinction that killed the dinosaurs is returning. God save us all.
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