Montenegro

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“There was a quote here, but the exploited Montenegrin writers were too lazy to add one.”

~ This article

“Those bastards did not get to experience the wave of LIBERTY during our peace-keeping!”

~ Bill Clinton

Crna Gora Monty. No Grow
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Згеер, Згеер, Згеер гіке тнеяес но томмояощ! Sleep, sleep, sleep like there's no tommorow!
Anthem: Strašilo by the Monteniggers
The map of Montenegro.
Capital	South Northern Podgorica
Largest city	Lazy Town
Demonym	Monty
{{subst:Nowrap|Official language(s)}}	Montenegrin, Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Macedonian, Albanian, and Greek
Government	Monarchy
‑ King	...huh? Wha?
Declaration  of Independence	1878, 2006, and 2035 after the ashes of the Third World War
Currency	Euro, although not in the EU
Ethnic groups	Serbs, Croats, Montenegrins, and Luxembourgers
Major exports	Sleeping, comfortable beds, Slavs, and Pillows
People who's names are Monty in Montenegro	500
Hours asleep in Montenegro (per day)	25
National sport(s)	Sleeping contests
Hours of  operation	0
Internet TLD	.me, only me bitch!
Drives on	Mobile Beds

Montenegro often referred as Monty. No Grow, ZZZZzzzz, New Serbia, Serbia's Little Brother, and sometimes often confused with its largest city, Lazy Town; is a country located in Southern Europe, specifically the Balkan Region. It has a population of six hundred thousand people, with its capital being Podgorica. It is bordered by six countries, those being in order, Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Greece, Serbia, and The Country Formerly known as the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.

History

The historical height of the Montenegrin Empire.

The country was formed in 1878 after Germany and the United Kingdom caused a massive curse in the Balkans, resulting in the creation of the Principality of Montenegro. The principality would become a formal kingdom in 1910, due to the rapid amount of jellybean consumption in the region. For some reason, the Montenegrins went wild on July 23rd, 1912 after they couldn't sleep that night, and started a rampage against their neighbours. It would end on July 25th, 1912 after they all went to bed again. It would go to war with the Austro-Hungarians in 1914, after the world had shit hit the fan, and would unite with Serbia to create the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes. To fix people's mouths in the country, it would be renamed to Yugoslavia. It would gain independence in 2006 after the people accidentally woke up, realized that Yugoslavia was dead, and then declared independence.

Etymology

The name "Montenegro" comes from the traditional name of Montenegro, "Monty. No Grow". Monty comes from the first king of Montenegro, Monty, while "No Grow" means that the grass in Montenegro never grows, but always sleeps. It is unknown how "Monty. No Grow" turned into "Montenegro".

Culture

The Montenegrin culture is mainly memed around the fact that Montenegrins are sleepy, tired, people that avoid work at all costs. It has its own language, Montenegrin, separate from Serbian and Croatian by one word, mostly because all Yugoslav languages are (almost) the same. The main word of the Montenegrin alphabet is "Ju", coming from Yugoslavia.

The Montenegrin culture also is known for being lazy, not finishi

One of the least proud groups of Montenegrin people.

Demographics

The population of Montenegro, as stated, is 600,000, although having most of its population being immigrants from Serbia, Other Serbia, Pyramid Serbia, and Rightfully Serbia. This leaves around one thousand Montenegrin people located in Montenegro. It is believed that most people, once entering Montenegro, is zapped with a curse that requires them to sleep at least twenty-four hours per day. The only exceptions appear to be the king of Montenegro, although he is unknown to this day.

A topographic map of Montenegro. Notice how much Crna Gora is on the map.

Diaspora

Most Montenegrin people in the world are, in fact, not in Montenegro. Several countries that Montenegrins go to are:

• Serbia
• Luxembourg
• Germany
• Chechnya-Slovenia

It is unknown how so many Montenegrins have left their home country, due to the amount of hours they sleep per day, although it is known that at least half of the Montenegrin diaspora happened during the creation of the Montenegrin Empire.

Geography

Montenegro has a mostly mountainous geography, especially on the borders of the country, although having less mountains in the Greek part of the country. It is unknown what the maximum elevation of Montenegro is, although estimates state that it is around 2500 meters above sea level, which is approximately 3000 meters above C level. It is still unknown how many meters it is above see level, but it is estimated that it is 3500-4500 meters above see level.

Montenegro has two major bodies of water, the Adriatic Sea, bordered to the West, and the Shkodra Lake in the mainland, which has a connecting river called the Morača.

There are several rivers, with the main ones being the Morača and Ribnica, which pass through the capital, while the Cijevna passes nearby South Northern Podgorica. There are several other rivers (that nobody cares about), in which you can access in the subparagraph below.

The Serbian flag of Montenegro.

Rivers

Here's a compiled list of several rivers:

• Ćehotina
• Cijevna
• Ćehotina
• Zeta

...and those are the only big ones that start with S!

Economy

The economy of Montenegro is practically non-existent, although having a completely "free" economy, it has the lowest GDP per capita in the world, being 1$, although it has a mediocre GDP. It is stated that the common Montenegrin does not have to pay taxes, mostly because Montenegrins are always asleep, at all times, every day of the year.

Exports

Most of the money gained in Montenegro comes from exports, with their most profitable export being beds. Nobody knows how the Montenegrins create their beds, although they might've outsourced their labour into Albanian hard workers.

See also

• Yugoslavia
• Serbia
• Napping

Notes

The Country Formerly Known as Yugoslavia

countries	Bosnia and Herzegovina ★ Croatia ★ Kosovo ★ Macedonia ★ Montenegro ★ Serbia ★ Slovenia
stuff	Dalmatians ★ Ivo Andrić ★ Serbs ★ Split ★ Yugoslav Wars ★ Yugoslav Wars (video game)

Countries of Europe