Moccasinia
Mōkászën Môqqesįn Muohkasen Mocratic Moccasin of Moccasinia Moccasinia | |||
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| Motto: Moccasin mákkusën mókāsinn møcquassíín "We shall mock our sins until they knock us in" | |||
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| Capital | Muohkasen | ||
| Largest city | Also Muohkasen | ||
| Demonym | Moccasinian | ||
| Official language(s) | Moccasinian, (official minority languages) Aracuanian, Moccan, Olula-ese, Navajo, Chinook Jargon, formerly English | ||
| Government | Dictatorship (under martial law since April 2024) | ||
| ‑ Great Lord | Møqásÿn Rein (former Great Lords Luna and Móckasiin expelled) | ||
| Currency | moccasins. | ||
| Religion | Mokkááwŝenism (state religion) | ||
| Population | 16,839,420 (2023) | ||
| Major exports | You guessed it, moccasins | ||
| Major imports | You already fucking know | ||
Moccasinia, officially the Mocratic Moccasin of Moccasinia, is a landlocked dictatorship in North America. It is the fourth-largest country in North America by area and the fifth-largest by density. The current leader of Moccasinia is Great Lord Møqásÿn Rein (born October 2nd, 1982.) The capital and largest city is Muohkasen (population: 923,057 according to the 2023 census), while other large cities in Moccasinia include Moxin, Mocacyni, Mahkasyn and Mákasen. As of 2024, Moccasinia ranks 194th on the Human Development Index, one of the lowest ranks in the world.
History[edit | edit source]
Pre-Columbian "legends"[edit | edit source]
Moccasinia is believed to have existed before the arrival of Columbus in the New World. The official record of Great Lords leads us to believe that Moccasinia was founded circa 313 AD (give or take… a few centuries) after several moccasin-obsessed Native American chiefs formed a union under Lord Máq’əšəni.
Post-Columbian "legends"[edit | edit source]
Moccasinia was not widely recognized by European settlers for centuries. People did not know if there was a country in the middle of nowhere (TM), and nobody wanted to go there and check to see if there was a random country in the middle of the North American interior, thus the UN did not officially recognize Moccasinia until 1964. Moccasinia continues to not be recognized by the U.S. states of Nevada, Montana, Wyoming, Utah and Idaho, as well as several Canadian provinces. In fact, in 2016 a bill was passed in both Alberta and Montana that made maps and globes containing Moccasinia completely illegal, and production of such maps and globes became punishable by up to sixteen centuries in prison.
Civil war and martial law[edit | edit source]
Moccasinia entered a civil war in early 2024, fought between supporters of Great Lord Móckasiin (Jacques Noir) and those who believed that he was an impostor and an illegitimate heir to the Moccasinian throne. It turned out that Noir had (allegedly) cooked the true Móckasiin and served him at a feast. Noir was expelled soon after, but the civil war continued. Møqåsÿn Rein, widely considered a naïve weakling, became the new Great Lord. He then proceeded to declare martial law, but the pathetic Moccasinian military struggled to mitigate the conflicts. As of 2025, the Moccasinian Civil War shows no signs of stopping.
Politics[edit | edit source]
Moccasinia calls itself a "mocracy (Moccasinian: Mócçz⁰yn)", although it refuses to properly explain what a "mocracy" is. The UN formerly classified Moccasinia as a hereditary monarchy, but in 1998, after noticing the extreme lack of heredity in the line of Moccasinian Great Lords due to assassinations, Moccasinia was reclassified as a dictatorship.
The Great Lord of Moccasinia rules with absolute power, and also acts as High Priest, communicating with the god Mokkááwsen by means of shrines. The Great Lord also acts as the sole commander of armies (due to ancient traditions), thus the Moccasinian military is highly ineffective and the nation is protected by its Inner Wall (Mõqcaazyn M'ccasùn) and its Outer Wall (Mõqcaazyn M'óqckstÿn).
Of course, to mock a Great Lord is a sin and punishable by death.
Culture[edit | edit source]
The culture of Moccasinia revolves around the flexible and fuzzy leather shoes that we all know as moccasins. Most buildings in Moccasinia are built entirely out of moccasins, and the walls of Moccasinia are also built out of moccasins. Moccasinia refuses to import anything that is not a moccasin or made of moccasins from other countries, due to ancient taboos on foreign influence.
The main language of Moccasinia is called Moccasinian (of course). The Moccasinian language is often imitated by foreigners using phrases such as "moccasin moccasin moccasin moccasin", not unlike how "ching chong" is used to imitate Chinese. Moccasinians consider this imitation highly offensive, even though it is admittedly accurate.
Religion[edit | edit source]
Mokkááwŝenism (worship of the Great God Of All The Leather Shoes That You Must Walk Two Moons In In Order To Judge The Leather Shoes' Owner Mokkááwŝen), is the state-mandated religion of Moccasinia. Shrines to the Great God Mokkááwŝen (Moccasinian: Mokkááwŝen Micsin) can be found all over Moccasinia. The Great Lord of Moccasinia also serves as the High Priest (Moccasinian: M⁰czácn), making Moccasinia in some ways a theocracy.
See also[edit | edit source]
- A story built one sentence at a time
- A story built one paragraph at a time
- Great Lord Móckasiin of Moccasinia
- moccasins.
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