A story built one line at a time

Sorry, Alula, you may not add more text to the story at this time. Everyone else has this story's permission to add text at this time.

Rules:

1. One Line Only, Wordsmith! Each contribution must be exactly one line of text. Length is up to you, within reason (no single-line novels, please).
2. Respect the Literary Landscape! Do not revert or delete other people's contributions unless they clearly broke a rule, and you are fixing it.
3. Just Add to the Pile! Only add your line at the very end of the story. No editing or embellishing existing lines.
4. Keep the Bananas in the Fruit Bowl! While the story can be strange, avoid inserting completely random, unrelated words (like "banana") that serve no narrative purpose. The story should still make some kind of (however bizarre) sense if read through.
5. Word Length Limits Apply! No individual word can be longer than 21 letters.
6. <big> Tag Moderation! A few <big> tags are amusing. An excessive amount becomes an eyesore. Use sparingly.
7. No Hogging the Keyboard! The same person cannot make two edits in a row. Let others contribute before you add another line.
8. Help us with the code and configs, please. You are allowed to edit any part other than the story in any way if it helps with the configurations of the story. (Yes, you can edit rules.)
9. Have FREAKING FUN!
10. Last person to edit wins!!

Good luck, my soldiers, and godspeed. Please survive the meme attacks. (I'm scared)

Beginnings

Everything started when Coffi decided to write a nice story. This story, however, would change the world. You see...

KALKUTNIDAK, THE DESTROYER, CAME TO END ALL OF HUMANITY AND ITS PLEASANT LITTLE WORLD.

Coffi created an anti-KALKUTNIDAK force to stop him, though. He raised infinite money to fight him, too.

KALKUTNIDAK CARETH NOT. HE IS INEVITABLE AND HE SHALL END ASBOWAAT AND THE WORLD FOREVER.

Coffi realized that he would need to prepare for WAR. With the forces he raised, he created KADINTUKLAK(reversed spelling)

WAR had a heart attack, so had to be sent to the ICU for the fourth time. A replacement was made in case WAR died, that being RAW.

So Kalkutnidak, RAW and Kadintuklak truced by splitting Earth inro three parts: KALKUTNIKA, RAWistan and KADINTUKland.

Coffi sighed with relief after seeing this truce, and failed to realize the planet was about to be invaded by big moccasins. Not to worry, though, for he has Special Move 1: Caffeine Attack!

Caffeine Attack? That sounds way too similar to KADINTUKLAK.

Well, I guess it kind of rhymes. Uhh, ANYWAY, Back to the story! RAW's health began to decline, and KALKUTNIKA started to rage again. Oh, no...

But my superstrong math teacher proceeded to spank KALKUTNIKA until KALKUTNIKA went to bed. Then, KALKUTNIKA cried it's heart out.

What?! No! That's not how storywriting works. Here's an example: KALKUTNIKA began to destroy everything, erasing the city in it's path. But then, moccasins!

You should expect that when many different people come to make a single story, plot coherence is often going to be ignored. Speaking of which; suddenly, Aracuans.

They died. They all died. But since nobody cares, the moccasins nuked KALKUTNIKA exactly 9 times, which is conveniently the number of letters in the word MOCCASINS.

<insert name here> the most useless thing in the universe, summoned a grue the grue ate everything and everyone. except gru.

Gru, the main character from the hit film series Despicable Me, then proceeded to use his wit and wickedness to invent a machine destructive enough to kill a grue.

The machine then killed all the grues but the grue used a red uno reverse card to use it on gru but gru use ultra instinct to dodge it, used a wild card to charge it to green and used a green reverse card on them

Then Gru became the most powerful being in the universe and then KALKUTNIKA came back from the dead!

Beep beep! The plot simplifiers have dectected chaos. They've killed Gru to simplify the story. They've also killed Coffi, somehow, which means Coffi is now dead. Hopefully, the world will survive witout him.

THE WORLD WOULD SURVIVE, IF KALKUTNIDAK WASN'T HUNGRY FOR MORE OF THE WORLD.

Kalkutnidak would survive, if it wasn't for the fact that Luna just spawned into this universe.

But Kalkutnidak couldn't
survive all
the line breaks happening
throughout this sentence.

Coffi had to scratch his butt unexpectedly.

But the plot simplifiers had previously killed Coffi, meaning that he was now a zombie. Oh no!!!!

We all know when a zombie scratches its butt, its finger-nails fall off because all the stuff holding them on was rotting, because of the fact zombies are dead, they don't have the constant regeneration and mantinance alive humans do.

This zombie, however, did not care about the fact its nails had fallen off. In fact, this zombie was more annoyed by the fact the word "butt" was previously written with a single t.

Everyone was confused to death what the zombie meant, because the spelling was correct the first time. Now there are more brain-dead zombies who got tricked into believing the false confusion.

Elon Musk Buys Uncyclopedia and ASBOWAAT

You know what happens next.

Elon Musk dies, accidentally leaving all of his possessions, including Uncyclopedia and ASBOWAAT, in the hands of his daughter.

Which one? X AE STGYSGSB or U O937_9288000x01?

The one that is a woman (all the other children of Elon are male)

Ah, so you mean Vivian Jenna Wilson? Okay. Now she owns Uncyclopedia and ASBOWAAT.

Vivian Jenna Wilson owns Uncyclopedia and ASBOWAAT

Ok, that's a good conclusion to that plotline. Next!

Squaw Dee owns Uncyclopedia now

"STOP!" yells an ominous voice, completely stopping the flow of the story. "I, Big Moccasin Billy, shall own ASBOWAAT!"

A strange user suddenly arrives, declaring Squaw Dee to be a deer, while himself insisting that he is not a deer. Big Moccasin Billy laughs his ass off.

It seems these three fellows -one of them having an anonymous identity whose name shall not be released yet- are all fighting to steal ASBOWAAT from Vivian's hands.

Kalkutnidak also seeks this power. He wishes to own Uncyclopedia so that he can torture all the Uncyclopedians because their website fucking sucks.

These four villains, who from now on shall be named the Four Horses of the Unpocalypse, will do anything they can to bring a new era of doom and despair to the UNCYCLOPEDIA.

With a loud, booming voice, the four villains say, "The next person who edits this page will SHIT their pants!"

After that person changed their pants, they proceeded to edit this page.

That person was Squaw Dee in a L10ns disguise, embarrassing the both of them.

Coffi revived himself and opened a coughi pants shop. He was secretly raising money to buy Uncyclopedia, though. Don't tell anyone!

With full knowledge of Coffi's plan, Gorefield escaped its perpetual black-hole prison, and demolished Coffi's funds to negative £5,000!

Because Coffi now owed money to the goverment, he escaped from the ferocious IRS agents and went to a nice place to hide in Brazil.

However, Gorefield wasn't done. He kept demolishing Coffi's bank accounts the moment he got more than enough money to buy more than 10 loaves of bread at once.

Coffi debated between killing Gorefield or torturing him to get the most pleasure. Remember, he has "Special move 1: blazing hot attack!" He also can pour civet coffee into himself.(he is a coffee cup with arms and legs)

Coffi executed his blazing hot attack! He misses comically. Then Gorefield eats him whole. Coffi now is inside Gorefield's stomach, and Jon is there to keep him company.

This is too ridiculous Kim Jong Un has come and obliterated the entire Omniverse he is is the only thing left!

Coffi revived himself again and re-created the universe. He also recreted the four Villains so he would have something to fight. Also, he decided to restore Elon Musk, but now he has one dollar, thus beggining:

nothing. alas, Kim Jong Un is not an existing person in this multiverse, so the two previous lines aren't canon. Also, Gorefield just ate the half of Earth, and spared the other just to see chaos ensuing.

Oh, okay, but I was really hoping for The Poor Elon Musk Saga. Hopefully, the next line will create it:

The Rich Elon Musk Saga!

...but that's just normal Elon Musk... that's like saying that water is wet...

I don't think you should be signing in the main page. Just saying. ANYWAY, back to the story! This time, a bunch of OPPOSSUMS stole all of Elon's money, thus beginning:

crap, I forgot this isn't a forum. also, eh, wasn't Elon Musk already killed in the story? the one who's still alive is his daughter, who now has to battle with the Four Horsemen of the Unpocalypse...

The Vivian-Horsemen War

The horsemen are simply horse heads that walk around on two human legs. No body, no arms. How intimidating.

Wait, aren't those supposed to be the four Villains from earlier?

I don't know, and i'm pretty sure the entire Elon Musk-related plotline was ended many lines ago.

Do we even know what this story is supposed to be about anymore? Did we really goof this bad so early in this story???

This is the ASBOWAAT series, of course we goofed around this bad. All this page lacks now is an actual funny joke.

ME THEN DESTROY PAGE AND EAT IT!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA H A A A!

Endings

Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point

Yay, I finally get to edit! Okay, so now let's make a good ending, but if this page revives itself somehow, make a new line called === New Beginnings ===

no

Okay, tat's an option too.

New Beginning

In a town far, far away there lived a grue named Bob, Bob wanted to be greastest grue there ever was but

(You know you can write more than one sentence in a line, and more than half a sentence, too?) The GRUE EXTERMINATOR COPORATION DECIDED TO TRY TO KILL BOB! NOW A WAR WILL START! Also, KALKUTNIDAK decided to help Bob since his redemption arc! Yep, he had a redemption arc while all of the other stuff was happening!

You know what would be nice? If @the president: came and put 5 million nukes on the grue exterminator corp. Just saying...

So then exactly that happened and then Bob made a plot with KALKTUNIDAK to have grue rights or taking over the world can't remeber which one.

Well, yeah, but they also arranged for grue NIGHTS every friday, as well. This is where we find Bob's future Love interest(please make it a decent person):

No one!

Anyway Bob and KALKTUNIDAK were planning their good/bad plan(Which one is it?).

And then suddenly, a ginormous wall of piss appears over the entire nation of Tanzania, collapsing upon the nation and wiping it from the Earth.

Huh how does that have to with the plot? Bob and KALKTUNIDAK are still in a bar? restuarant? diner? drug store? I dont know but whatever.

Okay, now we met Bob's future love intrest: Katniss Everdeen! You see, she broke up with Peeta after a minor incident. So anyway, I guess bob and KALKTUNIDAK are kinda... not definetively on one side? Like a mixed sort of character(you know those characters who aren't villain or hero? like that).

But then, without reason, a giant slab of pure wood slaps Bob the grue from space.

Did he survive it? Yes, he did! Of course he did. Grues are built to withstand the highest of temperatures!

Anyway Bob who was pissed off by the giant slab of wood from outer space asked KALKTUNIDAK “What the heck are we even doing?” Good question!

Okay, so the goal of the story is to make bob the greatest grue ever and KALKTUNIDAK is helping him. Whether the plan is good or evil is... debatable. Basically both and neither.

Meanwhile, in a field a few kilometres away, Noah O'Neill (name often shortened to "No O'ne" or "No one") was exploring. He had been looking for something he had lost, but he wasn't sure what it was. Noah would later find out what he was missing was love.

oooh a subplot, anyway O'Neill then saw Katniss! Now love triangle has been summoned! Bob is jealous, but dont worry KALKTINIDAK is on his way to "silence" O'Neill.

Bob and KALKTUNIDAK created big office chairs using the magic of office chairs. They then tried to crush O'Neill, but he dodged just in time.

Wait a minute Bob is a grue! GULP down O'Neill, KALKTUNIDAK is mysteriously in a corner he looks up "I am your father!" he says "NOOOOOO!!!" says Bob(Dont ask me how its possible how am I suppposed to know how he had sex with a grue).

Bob then married a widow with a grown-up daughter. Said daughter then married KALKTUNIDAK, making Bob his own grandpa. (Grandgrue?)

Can we de-canonize the previous two lines, as they make no sense?(Line breaks using br should be allowed, as they were used previously, so:

Do we de-canonize?

You voted for " De-caninize whoever said the above option" on 18 June 2025 at 07:37. You can change your vote by clicking a different answer below.

Make every character in the story their own grandparent

5

Don't de-canonize

0

Summon Aracuans

0

THIS ISN'T A story voted one part at a time, just because I included a poll!(Option: to de-canonize)

4

De-caninize whoever said the above option

2

I want to revoke my vote

There were 11 votes since the poll was created on 17:43, 19 May 2025.

poll-id C7A0700CE84A8B41FFBA43889D96BD0F

Okay, so it's a tie between "Make every character in the story their own grandparent", and "THIS ISN'T A story voted one part at a time, just because I included a poll!(Option: to de-canonize)". This is bad, as those are polarized options. But wait! They aren't. What if we make everybody else their own grandparent except for Bob? Let's get back to the plot(making Bob the greatest grue):

The giant moccasion from outer space and has wiped the previous two lines from existence now it goes back to its eternal slumber, now we are back too:

Bob and KALKTUNIDAK created big office chairs using the magic of office chairs. They then tried to crush O'Neill, but he dodged just in time.

Great, thank you, thank you so much! Now Bob and KALKTUNIDAK only have to defeat O'Neil. Hopefully, this will be easy...(also, im letting the extra lines count because they are duplicates)

O'Neil is winning, Bob relises he must use his inner grue power he starts channeling grue sayian form.

My penis hurts.

Because this isn' a story voted one part at a time, the previous poll was ignored and Bob is now still his own grandparent. Also his penis hurts too.

• Chris Chan is OUTDATED and FALSE.

Perfect for Uncyclopedia, then.

Yes, it was a poll, and it was allowed, because each option was actually added one line at a time! Everyone else but Bob is their own grandparent.

once upon a time darth penis read the silmarillion then Lawrence of Arabia killed him then Lawrence gained the Ring f other Nibelung while Arabia died then tywin Lannister had a stupid fucking gay orgy attended by the God of of the ASBOWAAT series, Kirk Johnson who is omnipotent hallowed by his name then Darth penis showed up and duels Kirk Johnson meanwhile everyone who wasn't Darth pens Lawrence or kirkjohnson s died and then my penis got hard because reasons okay so now GRR MArtin.

Umm, I think that was more of a paragraph, not a line. What did this have to do at all with the previous text???

Oh boy you are not ready for ASBOWAAT. That’s just all nonsense hot dog dinosaur moccasin PIE!!! Tasty pie too. Mmm...

Floor pie.

Bob the grue has entered the chat

KALKUTNIDAK has entered the chat

Okay, what? Why are we doing "chat"? Is this discord?

The voices in my head are telling me it's the other kind of chat, the voices in my head.

“It's the other kind of chat...”

~ the voices in your head

Bob the grue: Hello there welcome to my server!

• kills Bob the grue*

Bob is dead. Unfortunately, he forgot how to die.

then cruel angels thesis and meglovania started playing in the background

But then the Grim Reaper came and reaped the soul of Bob the Grue, taking him to wherever Grues go when they die.

Beep boop! The plot simplifiers have revived Bob, with a message to all the editors of ASBOLAAT: We should focus on the story of trying to make Bob the greatest grue, not random things.

And then suddenly, Bob has cheese. Using this cheese, he starts a war against Heaven to become God. With cheese.

Bob was angry that God had denied him the entry to paradise, and now was going to get his revenge!

Suddenly, Schism starts a war with his toilet, which distracts God enough for Bob to kill him. Bob then becomes GOD!!! But the exterminators still come for him.

And they’re armed with laser/light/pudding cannons.

Then Kaltudiak comes and fights the exterminators DOOM STYLE!

The poem thing is not necessary.

But the cannons are.

So is the cheese.

And Bob the grue.

And Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie

All started attacking the exterminators.

But then, Fenris2010 the Grue saw there was a grue trying to be better than him. This occasion has unexpected effects on the ASBOLiAAT time-space discontiniin.

And then suddenly Bob the grue got teleported to A story built one time at a time! The multiverse has begun.

Oh boy...

First of all, stop adding a poem, whoever keeps doing that! Second of all, we brought him back from A story built one time at a time, as there were more urgent matters nearby.

Hoorah! now we have our second arc I call it the "Evil Grue Arc" I think we can finially find Bob the grues true intentions.

THE OBAMIUM ARC!!!!!!!1!!1!

We can have both the Evil Grue/Obamium arc, hoorah!

THE EVIL GRUE SHALL PWNZOR YOUR SOUL! OPOSSUM SHALL SPOUT OUTDATED MEMES!

The outdated memes started pwning Obamium until it was killed completely, succesfully consolidating the rule of the outdated memes over the evil brainrot.

That’s Uncyclopedia for you. We haven’t been outside since the 2000s!

However, suddenly, upon the horizon, a giant horde of Willies on Wheels closed in, shouting "Willies are on wheels now!".

Bob and KALKUTNIDAK have come to stop the Willies on wheels.

bob pulled out a giant flame tower out of no where and tried to burn the willies but the willies were fire proof.

The wheels are fireproof too. The Willies have prepared for this.

Bob must channel his inner grue to defeat him but unfortunately if you read the arc title he will turn EVVIIIIILLLLL!

Unfortunately, Bob’s idea of evil is taking multiple pennies from take-a-penny-leave-a-penny trays.

KALKUNTNIDAK sees that Bob is "evil", and now must save him!

the willies try to attack to stop bob from turning evil but failed due to KALKUNTNIDAK bad smell but the willies come up with a brand new plan.

How did they change ideals? I dont know but then the Emperor Willie on Wheels came to destroy KALKUNTNIDAK and Bob, but Bob was too busy stealing pennies!

Vanitium has entered this page.

A masked individual steps down from the spacecraft and presents an essay on Vanitian Syndicalist-Posadist Shrekist Oligarchism, printed in 12pt Times New Roman font.

suddenly KALKUNTIDAK and the Willies on Wheels relise they have a common enemy, "WE HAVE MADE BOB EVIL!" the masked individual says "NOW HIS PLOT ARMOUR CANNOT STOP US!".

But the Plot Armour stopped them.

They completely forgot that plot armor doesn't necessarily has to go hand-in-hand with moral good, and so the plot armor didn't leave when Bob became evil! / wait a minute could have more plot armor that bob nah that would be impossible right?

KALKUTNIDAK, THE DESTROYER, ALSO HAS PLOT ARMOR, YOU BASTARDS! HE WILL NEVER DIE, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WE ALL KNEW THAT!

larry teleported to KALKUTNIDAK, THE DESTROYER and jumped up, kicked back, whip around and yelled i am eviler that you and then died to bobs flame thower

So... Bob the grue killed Larry the cucumber with a flamethrower he had in his pocket?

Yeah, he bought it with all those pennies he took.

Plot twist, the pennies were FAKE! They were those little chocolate pennies. But the worse part? They were bad, like, really mouldy.

Bum! Bum! BUUUMMM!! Now we start our third arc: Sick grue arc

bob the sick grue vs the glue gunner from the hit game bloons tower defense

sadly the glue gunner from the hit game bloons tower defense couldn't be in this story due to copyrights issues, so this character was replaced by lookalike-but-not-really-due-to-copyright-laws Godzilla.

So Bob got an actual glue gun and shot Lookalike Godzilla with it.

But due to international copyright laws its not Godzilla.

Instead it's Susiezilla!

Susiezilla, from hit indie game Deltarune Chapter 3, avoided the glue gun shot and started beating up Bob the Grue.

However, grues are boring as fuck, so now they're all Shadowguys instead. (Hover to get your DELTARUNE experience spoiled and ruined forever)

Bob the shadowguy drank a whole bottle of glue because he thought it was milk, and then projectile vomited all over Susiezilla.

He then let the light embrace him, turning getting rid of his shadow and turning him into guy instead.

Because one of the authors hasn't played Deltarune yet, he's not willing to see the censored spoilers; so for the sake of convenience he turned into a frog.

Too bad, because Froggit appears in Deltarune too!

Froggit forced the Glue gunner to a game of poker because the international copyright laws burned up by larry jr and Bob is somewhere.

The Glue Gunner and Bob the Grue merged together to become the GRUE GUNNER, who then started gunning down Froggit the Frog.

A deranged marsupial stares in confusion... What the fuck is a "froggit", and what is a "g(l)(r)ue gunner"?

KALKUTNIDAK, THE DESTROYER has been eating popcorn the whole time! Now he ran out, TIME TO ENACT REVENGE ON THE FROGGIT. Ok look Froggy from Sonic.

the meaning of revenge and cake

Aha! Not on my watch, 'KALKUTNIDAK, THE DESTROYER ate the cake!

but due to a unfunny reference the cake was a lie.

“Its a trap!”

~ A overused popculture reference

the cake was a illusion made by Tenna from the hit game deltarune with a flashlight.

Whatever, Bob the frog or grue or gruegunner or frog-gruegunner ate Tenma, the flashlight, and Deltarune.

Then for the sake of the plot they de-mergered and Bob the Grue went on his quest again to become the greatest grue there ever was. The Undertale vs. ASBOLAAT begins.

ASBOLAAT wins easily, because it's made by children and for children. This is canonically the worst matchup for Undertale, as the protagonist is probably like 7 years old or something

Counterpoint: Sans the skeleton.

Counter-counterpoint: Sans doesn't remember ASBOLAATs genocides.

Counter-counter-counterpoint: He still would dunk on ASBOLAAT for the lols.

Counter-counter-counter-counterpoint: No, he doesn't fight unless he feels like he absolutely has to. And fighting ASBOLAAT is unnecessary here, because the rest of the Undertale cast is there to do it instead.

Counter-counter-counter-counter-counterpoint: This is my AU and in my AU sans is an edgy depressed emo who fights anyone he wants just to be edgy and counter-cultural.

human this joke isn't funny anymore
why are we still doing this

counterpoint who said i was human.the human reveled him self as bob and became bobzilla!!!!!

Bobzilla unfortunately mixed up his ASBOLAATs and found himself in a story built one letter at a time, as opposed to a story built one language at a time, a story built one link at a time, or this story.

Bob the grue is confused by who is Bobzilla, and the counter-points in the sky

bob the grue turns around to see the willies on wheels coming back from the dead repeating the cycle

...of death‽ Oh, for sure!

The Great Lord Móckasiin of Moccasinia appears because i genuinely don't know what else to add here

Then the grand betrayal happens... KALKUTNIDAK, THE DESTROYER betrays Bob the grue! Why to take vengence for his family or something like that I do not know. but Bob has something he does not... plot armour!

Just kidding, Bob the grue actually dies. (Also why is it important to keep a grue alive in this story? I thought these things were vicious monsters)

Coffi finally returns

Bob the grue comes back since he is the main characther and sees a decending coffee cup.

He then dies again because grues as a general concept are extremely overdone.

The descending coffee cup comes down to Earth.

the coffee cup breaks into many piece's and those pieces fuse together into coffi and space balls, THE coffee cup

The coffee is then drank by a random person, unaware that this is the first cup of coffee to not be produced through slavery at any point in history ever.

Okay, keep in mind that actually, Bob the grue was technically not the main character till the "New beginnings" arc. Just saying. Bob meets with Coffi and L10nM4st3r, who we dragged into the story, to try to figure out how to make this story coherent.

I don't think making this story coherent is even possible. We've tried doing that to ASBOSAAT multiple times, and it's never worked.

but a series being 100% coherent is near imposable.so anyway coffi looked at the sky too see a hoard of space ships.

The spaceships were from Vanitio, who upon realizing that he had been forgotten somewhere in the previous sections, invaded the world. Now Bob(who had returned to being morally neutral) and Katniss(who had also came back after being forgotten), and Coffi decided to stop Vanitio.

katniss, bob and coffi like in Lego commercial's built a space ship really really fast to break into the mother ship.

THE GREAT ARC OF VANITIUM

katniss, bob, and coffi ship rammed into the mother ship making a hole at the back: but someone was guarding it.

It was... Evil Bob.

See bob has a secret twin bother evil bob out of the womb he was born bad so bad in fact that the first thing he said was butt a very bad word so his mother thew him out of a window.

No no no, Evil Bob is a clone of normal bob made by Vanitium(which you should probably check out), and there are more clones like Katniss.exe and Coffi [V2.1].

wait a mimate there's two evil bob one is bob's evil twin and the other is a clone of bob.

One is an eurg and the other is an Anti-Grue. Big difference.

And then the two evil Bob clones fused together to make a Mega Evil Bob yes creative name I know. Bob looked defeated but then he...

had two cows, which he sicced on Mega Evil Bob! The two cows fused into Mega Cow, whose “milk” Bob drank for uhh… special powers.

bob now had the power of green.

The power of green let him easily defeat Mega Evil Bob.

but if the Mega evil bob was bob that means that the Mega had the power of evil green

---

the mega evil bob got undead and came back as the mega evil ghost bob

He then died by the hands of THE GREAT GOD MOKKÁÁWŜEN

because bob was perma-dead, the writers had to find a new main character for the story

The character they found was called John (no relation to that one) wh John, his full name being John Arbuckle, had just spawned into existence in this story, so he had no idea what to do next.

But the "next" had an idea what it'd do with him. "Next" being a moose, of course.

Next pulled out a night fury out of his pants. But Next forget that moose's don't wear pants so the moose police come after him.

Next then did the reasonable thing and fucked John Arbuckle right in front of the moose police. Consensually, of course.

John Arbuckle became pregnant with a half-moose half-human child, who he named Cheesestick.

Bob came back to life and devoured John Arbuckle and then rode of into the sunset now achiveing a great achievement: eating a John.

John should've known better than to wander around in the dark without a light source. Cheesestick is also dead because that's how dying works.

John then got resurrected by main character syndrome, which the writers of this story love for some reason.

Except this time it’s John ASBOPAAT and not Jo(h)n Arbuckle.

Basically, this story is about to get confusing as hell.

Anyway, John and Luna ASBOPAAT and their kid, Lunaohn Jacques Noir ASBOPAAT, got in a stolen tank and started blowing stuff up.

But after weeks of needlessly blowing everything up, they encountered Møqasÿn Rein, who demanded to get custody of John and Luna's child despite the fact that he is in no way related to any of them.