2002 Germany Airplane Sexual Intercourse

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2002 Germany Airplane Sexual Intercourse
Bashkirian Airlines Flight 2937 & DHL Flight 611

When two planes love each other very much… Plus, Skyguide is responsible for letting these two planes make love.
Unscheduled high-altitude rendezvous and Sexual intercourse
Date	1 July 2002 (2002-07-01)
Summary	Two planes decided to meet face-to-face, ignoring all traffic rules
Site	Above scenic Überlingen, Baden-Württemberg, Germany
Total fatalities	71 (plus one air traffic controller's career)
Total survivors	0 (planes didn't survive either)
First aircraft
RA-85816, the Bashkirian party bus seen before its last dance
Type	Big Russian Tube of Aluminum
Operator	Bashkirian Air Disco Lines
IATA flight No.	V92937
ICAO flight No.	BTC2937
Call sign	BASHKIRIAN 2937 (also known as “Where are we going?”)
Registration	RA-85816
Flight origin	Domodedovo International Airport, Moscow, Russia
Destination	Barcelona El Prat Airport, Barcelona, Spain
Occupants	69(hence the title)
Passengers	60 (mostly kids on holiday)
Crew	9
Fatalities	69
Survivors	0
Second aircraft
A9C-DHL, seen on its way to accidentally deliver itself
Type	Flying DHL Delivery Stick
Operator	Definitely Hurried Logistics
IATA flight No.	ES611
ICAO flight No.	DHX611
Call sign	DILMUN 611 (code for “don’t crash pls”)
Registration	A9C-DHL
Flight origin	Bahrain International Airport, Bahrain
Stopover	Orio al Serio Airport, Bergamo, Italy
Destination	Brussels Airport, Belgium (spoiler: didn’t make it)
Occupants	2
Crew	2
Fatalities	2
Survivors	0

The 2002 Germany Airplane Sexual Intercourse occurred when Flight 611 (a Boeing 757) was making a routine flight delivering DHL packages. After a bumpy start and some rough turbulent patches a relationship was quickly formed with Bashkirian Airlines Flight 2937 (a Tupolev TU-154M). The couple met and consummated their brief love affair over southern Germany on July 1, 2002; the love affair proved a deadly liaison for the crew and passengers of both aircraft.

Air traffic controllers were disgusted by the hanky-panky. Although the love affair between the Virgin Express and SN Brussels Airlines planes worked out okay, most experienced controllers knew that such antics are likely to leave everyone concerned shattered and in pieces.

The bedroom in the German skies

Routes of the two lovebird aircraft

The malpractices of Skyguide in Zurich, Switzerland meant that a cherry was sure to pop. Unfortunately, the Germans unwisely left control of the bedroom space over southern Germany to the Swiss. At night only one controller controlled two screens displaying airplane movements, which were located about 3 metres apart. The control centers with directors who are actually interested in keeping aggressive and horny airplanes apart would place two controllers at those two screens to monitor the naughty bits of airliners.

The flights

The Russians had five people piloting the Tupolev from Moscow, Russia to Barcelona, Spain. Largely because Tupolev sucks at designing planes and four people are required to perform the tasks normally performed by two on a regular airliner; the fifth crew member joined because he wanted to wear speedos in Spain to show off his manly bulge and generally impress the ladies. Most of the passengers were gifted Bashkortostan schoolchildren tired of repetitive multiple choice tests, frustrating annotated bibliographies, and arduous science fair projects.

Meanwhile, a Boeing 757 cargo plane, carrying numerous Dear John letters, pirated Chinese video games, and styrofoam curls, left Bergamo, Italy, near Milan, for Brussels, Belgium. The two crew members of the cargo plane planned to indulge in Ivory Coast slave labor-made delights once they landed in Brussels, the chocolate capital of the world.

The love affair

The pilot of the Tupolev screaming and gawking at the size of the tail fin of the 757

The Zurich air traffic controller's stress ball popped when the Swissie realized that he had to guide a frightened airliner to land so that it doesn't smash into one of the Swiss Alps. The fact that he had to hold that airliner's hand and pretend to be its mommy blinded him to the fact that the 757 and the TU-154M, depicted on the other control screen, were heading for each other...

When he finally found the two converging dots on the second screen, he ordered the Russian plane to descend at the same moment when the Tupolev's Lovemaking-Warning system (TCAS), a device that tells an airliner to avoid intimate contact with another airliner, told it to climb; that little Swissie did not know, and could not know, what the Lovemaking-Warning systems told the two aircraft. Because Mother Russia told them to always obey the human authority, Russians chose to do what the controller told them to do while the DHL also descended due to its Lovemaking-Warning system's instructions. Thinking he avoided scandalous activity, the controller breathed a sigh of relief.

The Swiss air traffic controller and his colleagues, who finally came back from donkey punching Tubgirl, are horrified to see the lovemaking and general naughtiness of the two airliners.

Ah, amor! The 757 and the TU-154 fell in love at first sight. The two knew that they had to get it on now. Those stupid pilots and those little brats on the Tupolev could not stop them! And so the 757 inserted its tail fin into the TU-154's belly.He thrusted hard. Then the tu-154 could not take it no more. They cummed. She screamed as the 757 aggressively smiled at her... and this broke her heart. Her sadness caused her to explode and disintegrate into pieces under soul-crushing heartbreak. Even more disturbing was the fact that neither plane knew the others' last name, and neither airplane used proper protection. The Russian children flew out of the TU-154 and splattered in the German countryside. With its once 4.5 metre cock gone, the heartbroken 757 limped in intense pain while the pilots tried to calm him down and give him some Tylenol. Alas, the pain was too great and the 757 slammed into Germany's grasses to try to relieve what used to be its Johnson. Instead the 757 lay in pieces and the crew was flattened like a pancake. The Mile High Club was aghast at the demise of its two newest members.

Aftermath

This CCTV image is of the evil time traveling rabbit putting a banana on the doorstep knowing that it would lead to controllers accident.

The people felt disgusted that the Swissies could let two airplanes engage in dirty activities over the skies, where children could see them; why should the children be exposed to this filth? In addition, all of the children carried by the Tupolev were finished.

An Ossetian man whose family flew on the TU154M wanted to have a little talk with the Swiss air traffic controller, not knowing that he really needed a talk with the Skyguide administration. With a private investigator he found the Swiss air traffic controller's address, phone number, dental records, prostate exam results, blood type, and horoscope. The Russian man traveled to the Swiss controller's house in Kloten and begged the controller to talk. When the controller refused, the Russian man slipped on a banana placed on the doorstep and accidentally rammed his Swiss army knife, which he bought for 5 Swiss francs three minutes ago, into the controller's heart. Oops. The controller was no more.

A memorial plaque dedicating to the planes having sex

The Afterglow and Haunted Skies

Following the tragic climax of the 2002 airplane love affair, the spirits of Flight 611 and Flight 2937 refused to rest. Local pilots and shepherds reported eerie noises—haunting moans and spectral engine revs—that echoed through the German skies, especially on July 1st, the anniversary of their ill-fated rendezvous. Paranormal investigators confirmed the two aircraft were now condemned to an eternal loop of ghostly aerial intimacy, forever dry-humping their way through cumulus clouds.

Necromancers and Exorcisms

In a desperate bid to clear the haunted airspace, Skyguide hired a team of Transylvanian necromancers specializing in aviation ghost busting. Unfortunately, one necromancer fell hopelessly in love with the TU-154’s ghost and defected to become a full-time sky whisperer. Another attempted to seduce the Boeing spirit, only to be rudely rejected for insufficient horsepower.

Despite the deployment of paranormal AWACS and ghost radar, the supernatural activity intensified. Attempts to jam ectoplasmic signals only served to amplify the ghostly moaning, to the horror of nearby air traffic controllers.

Aviation Community Response

The Mile High Club officially disavowed any association with post-mortem aviation activities, stating: *“No matter how romantic, necro-nuptials are strictly off limits.”* Skyguide offered discounted séances for grieving families but refused any responsibility for the ghost infestation.

Meanwhile, an Airbus A320 attempted to flirt with the 757’s restless spirit, only to be publicly humiliated and forced to make an unscheduled landing in a Ryanair hub in Poland.

The Revenge of the Schoolchildren

The Bashkortostan schoolchildren, now cloud-bound pranksters, began haunting Europe’s WiFi networks. They transformed completed homework into endless Rickrolls and turned Zoom classes into chaotic reenactments of Twilight fanfiction, much to the despair of teachers everywhere.

Legacy

The 2002 Germany Airplane Sexual Intercourse and its ghostly sequel have since become cautionary tales in aviation circles about the dangers of unsupervised horny aircraft and Swiss air traffic controllers distracted by donkeys and bananas.

Are they gay

Following the tragic climax of the 2002 airplane love affair, the spirits of Flight 611 and Flight 2937 are confirmed to be gay.

Epilogue: The Return of the Lovebirds

Years later, sightings of two ghostly aircraft in the German skies reignited rumors that Flight 611 and Flight 2937's souls were attempting to rekindle their forbidden romance. Witnesses describe the phantom 757’s tail fin attempting once again to invade the TU-154’s belly with an ethereal grace unmatched by mortal machines.

Some conspiracy theorists speculate this is a sign that love, even in death, conquers all — or at least crashes spectacularly. Attempts by modern air traffic controllers to intervene have only resulted in mysterious radio static filled with moans and the faint sounds of Wagnerian opera.

Skyguide’s Rebranding Efforts

In light of the ongoing paranormal phenomena, Skyguide announced a controversial rebranding campaign titled “Keep the Skies Clean,” which includes mandatory meditation sessions for controllers, the installation of anti-ghost talismans in control towers, and a strict “No Airplane Hookups” policy.

Critics argue the campaign is too little, too late, especially after it was revealed that several Swiss controllers have been caught on CCTV engaging in *their own* questionable activities with inflatable dolls during graveyard shifts.

Aviation Safety Measures Post-Intercourse Incident

The International Aviation Authority (IAA) implemented new regulations mandating:

• The installation of "No Lovemaking Zones" in controlled airspace.
• The deployment of advanced “Love Radar” systems to detect and separate overly affectionate aircraft.
• Annual sensitivity training for pilots on respecting other planes’ personal space.
• A ban on playing seductive elevator music in cockpits during flight.

These measures have reportedly decreased airborne flirtations by 92%, though several pilots remain skeptical.

Cultural Impact

The incident inspired a cult classic German musical titled *“Liebesflug: A Midair Romance”*, featuring a cast of dancing airplanes and a score composed entirely of recorded air traffic control transmissions.

Every year, on July 1st, aviation enthusiasts gather near Überlingen to reenact the doomed love affair, donning pilot hats and holding model airplanes aloft while chanting “No more hanky-panky in the skies!”

See also

• 2002 Überlingen mid-air collision
• Mile High Club
• Air traffic control
• Ghost stories
• Aviation safety

External links

• Official Skyguide website
• Viral video of the Virgin Express and SN Brussels Airlines “love affair”
• Paranormal Aviation Reports