User:Coffi/Vanitium
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Vanitium is a self-declared micronation and Internet-based parody project known for its aggressive ideological incoherence, suspiciously confident propaganda, and absolutely zero grounding in reality. According to its founder, Vanitium is destined to "conquer world" through the power of "Vanitian Syndicalist-Posadist Shrekist Oligarchism," a hyperspecific doctrine that is definitely not made up on the spot.
History[edit | edit source]
Vanitium was created in an intense burst of digital nationalism by an unnamed individual (suspected to be 12) who believed that forming a state with a garish flag and world-conquering ambitions was the next logical step after discovering Wikipedia.
The first act of Vanitium was declaring war on "everything wrong," which included capitalism, imperialism, and people who think "Shrekism" isn't a real ideology.
Government and Politics[edit | edit source]
Vanitium is ruled by an eternal leader known only as Vanitio, who also serves as the:
- Supreme Conqueror
- Chairperson of the Glorious Lawn
- Minister of Knowing Everything
Despite being the only citizen, Vanitium claims to have "100% guaranteed" ideological solutions that work "even in real life, readers!"
Vanitium follows a unique ideology: Vanitian Syndicalist-Posadist Shrekist Oligarchism—a fusion of leftist revolutionary theory, memes, and whatever sounded cool at the time. Core beliefs include:
- Worship of Vanitium at all times
- Banning rude names like “doody-head”
- Universal prosperity via made-up doctrines
Geography[edit | edit source]
Located everywhere and nowhere, Vanitium claims all landmasses that "submit willingly or unknowingly," including Minecraft servers and Google Maps locations no one zooms into.
Economy[edit | edit source]
The economy of Vanitium is entirely based on:
- Likes
- Shares
- Worship-based GDP (WGDP™)
The currency is called the Gloribuck, which is valued at exactly one compliment to Vanitium.
Culture[edit | edit source]
Vanitium has a rich cultural heritage dating back to "yesterday afternoon." Celebrated holidays include:
- Conquest Day – Celebrating the time Vanitium thought about conquering the world.
- Doctrine Day – When a new ideology is invented to replace the old one (weekly).
- Vanitioween – Citizens cosplay as Vanitium and compliment themselves.
Flag[edit | edit source]
The flag of Vanitium was designed using advanced MS Paint techniques. The yellow V stands for "Victory," "Vanitium," and possibly "Vegetables" depending on the week.
Criticism[edit | edit source]
User Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ famously described Vanitium as:
“a parody of all those crappy micronations invented by twelve-year-olds who think they'd be able to run the world... just making sure, should be pretty obvious.”
Nonetheless, the Vanitium leadership responded with:
“You are now banished to the Realm of Wrong Opinions. Hail Vanitium.”
Legacy[edit | edit source]
Although Vanitium has yet to be recognized by any real country, it enjoys a modest cult following among those who understand it's a satire... and an alarming number who don’t.
External Links[edit | edit source]
omg guyz quit calling me a delusional retard!!!1 (˃̣̣̥ᯅ˂̣̣̥) you dont understand me 🥺 quit senidng me hate mail >:(