User:OPOSSUM

How do I solve my addiction and finally leave this place?

All About The Deranged Moccasin-Sporting Wheely Willy Reincarnation From Hell Himself

H

PST This user is currently on Pacific Standard Time. It is currently 12:20 P.M. (12:20) for this user. PST Hail the Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate I own a war mammoth. Perkele! (List of Proto-Finnic Uncyclopedians) This user is from California, and brags about the nice weather. After all, earthquakes aren't weather. This user is proud to say that they have been blocked indefinitely on Wikipedia. This user was nearly banned on the Finnish Wikipedia. This user is an Uncyclopedia Marshal. This user uses moccasins as footwear, gloves, food, writing utensils, sleeping bags, spoons, dildos, you name it. This user is a proud member of the Gopher Party. This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 3 years, 4 months and 24 days. chn ɬatwa pi məkʰmək əx̣, kʰamuksh chn enr-N This user is a native speaker of Engrish. enr-N This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint. This user is not and has never been Napoleon. |B|E|N|S|O|N|     my anti-drug {Userbox:|float=(((1|width=70px|#lightgray|#white|s=#white|[File:Wikisplodebig.gif|70px]|This user is really bad at Wikitext.}[Category:User templates/Ops|Bad At Wikitext][Category:Wiki templates|Bad At Wikitext] /noinclude This user is a ninja and is too cool to care. This user is a dumb poopyhead. This user also supports the Ukraine in their fight against Russia, but says "іди на хуй" to all those virtue signalers. TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! THIS IS SPARTA! This user glorifies the Unabomber, and may or may not have been involved in his actions. This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.  This user believes in, or  might possibly be, Sasquatch. This user started Chess on Uncyclopedia, but seldom plays it. This user has escaped from Ojai. This user is OPOSSUM, the one true Moccasin Man. This user puts chemicals in the water that turn the freaking frogs gay. Fenris was here. ㅤ OPOSSUM was here-erㅤㅤ This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians) ㅤ DaniPine3 was planted in this user's page :] Fenris2010 has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. Squaw Dee dropped by! He owns Uncyclopedia! Pichu has invaded this userpage. You cannot stop him. This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 3 years, 4 months and 24 days. This user is a rollbacker. This means he can revert a whole lot of edits at one time! Good for him us! This user wants to be an administrator, but will almost certainly never be one. All ye vandals beware, for this user is a King of the Empire. Fear their power. Sniff! A Hesuususueueuwowieoisjw shhahehehhenrytajwjsiwhengai hentainwiwiwjjwehtao sniffed this user! It smells like cum!

(No seriously, there's a Wikipedia admin who actually believes that I am THE Willy on Wheels.)
I am the physical embodiment of the state of California, and apparently Alaska as well now. I believe in the radical theory that the yak that nearly raped Denzo during his sojourn to Canada was actually a muskox. Also true to my word,

Nowadays I rarely make actual contributions to this website, I just screw around occasionally.

kʰanawi ənsaykʰlupitiya-tayi ɬaska q’at man pi məkʰmək palaks kʰanawi san

I'm some random hiker fucker and ex-track runner who showed up on this website a while ago. Nowadays that random hiker fucker is looking for a job, driving around Ojai and creating a massive army of zombie OPOSSUMS. I'm taking over the world, bitch. Any day now…

See the context of this image here."SCPIOURTCH ACRNBGLOP TRNMSTZZ" -some random squirrel in Asterix

OPOSSUM on Wikipedia: User:POSSUM chowg (permabanned by Bbb23 for putting the O GREAT MOKKÁÁWŜEN pages in his Wikipedia userspace)

Opossum's Not-so-Rabid Facts, Some are a bit too serious for me. Just so you know, I do not have serious standards, thank you very much.

If a business claims to be improving their website's design by making it look "more modern", they are almost certainly making the website look worse. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. There is a bomb on the school bus!! Hehehe! Don't tell anyone!!! People on the internet will continue to argue as long as they have ANY reason or evidence at all. Therefore every group on the internet attempts to try to debunk EVERY argument that their opponents make. ("Chowg's Law") When you close your eyes, you access your special power to only see people who would fuck you (even with a hundred-dollar bribe.) OPOSSUM's homework was once eaten by his dog. No, seriously. I have a picture of the shreds, and maybe I could upload it later. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. I fucked your mom last night. OPOSSUM is well-known for his research on human-hamster-opossum hybrids. Ventura cannot into Northern California. It's better to be a coward than a cow or an ard. OPOSSUM was a preemie. That explains everything. OPOSSUM's Uncyclopedia account is probably older than yours, despite the fact that he only created his account on November 1, 2021. OPOSSUM lives in a CSB "warm-summer Mediterranean" Köppen climate zone. He has no idea what that means. OPOSSUM once said at his youth group that he had walked to Ojai because it looks like Oregon. Then someone asked him, "What does Oregon look like?" OPOSSUM simply responded, "Ojai". Cory in the House (コーリー ホワイトハウスでチョー大変!) is objectively the best anime. On June 1st, 2024, OPOSSUM was blocked on Uncyclopedia for no reason at all. Even the mods thought the temporary ban was ridiculous. OPOSSUM will beat you to death. By that he means that he will die before you.

“Ast the spinkly dagers charkly crangest wan spooth, micks quashest hilthily ungst mong for dawvens.”

~ A wise old man, trying to convince his fellows that he could speak English

I survived the Suicide Bomber game, and you didn't!

Opossum's Great Sack o' Dogshit (and why it's full of dogshit!)

Average quality of an OPOSSUM article.

Mario Kart (actually good, maybe!)

Wendigo (too short!)

HowTo:Read the International Phonetic Alphabet (too serious!)

Mount McKinley (mundane and fucked up!)

Chinook Jargon (really bad article!)

NoFap (another user's page, rewritten from the ground up!)

Anenome [sic] (abandoned!)and I must teach a certain admin about the Streisand Effect.

That time I was swallowed by a whale during my sojourn in the Mediterranean (too biblical!)

Chess, the MMORPG (nobody's online anymore! This game is so dead!)

Aimo Koivunen (relatively funny but still work in progress!)

Opossumist Aaaaaaaaan Commie Party of Ojaio (TSE TUNG!)

UnGames:Chess (Well, that escalated quickly.)

Proto-Finnic Holy Roman Khaganate (pulled out of the dumpster.)

Haida (what the actual fuck)

Caillou Let's expand it to 8KB!

Uncyclopedia:Flesh-eating weasel words Are regular users even allowed to make this sort of stuff?

Ice Age (franchise) (blander than your grandmother’s casserole.)

Moccasinia Too many moccasins.

Major contributions to Escape from Ojai and Make it to Ketchikan (two convoluted, inside-joke-ridden UnGames.)

A shitty /r/place knockoff that definitely didn't deserve to be featured.

this website is ruining my life.

Now I will ruin yours 😈

• UNCYCLOPEDIAN PASSPORT • Passport Card no. 4.252.99.182 Name = Opossum H Chowg Nationality = Uncyclopedian Wastelands This is a valid Uncyclopedian Passport granting the holder passage to any country; excepting Canada, the United States, England, or any other country in which anyone would actually want to live.

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	Useless Gobshite of the Year 2024