User:OPOSSUM
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ABYSS | This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss. |
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 | Glenn Quagmire was here... ...and is masturbating to young pictures of your mom! |
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Oh Lord, fuck this site
Always wished that I could quit
Still it lures me back
Sometimes, a man graduates from high school, and all his old friends go off to college while he's stuck back home struggling to find a decent job.
While the more productive souls among us will quickly find a proper career, and the less productive will fully embrace their unemployment, the awkward man in the middle between these two categories continues to suffer. (And crappy part-time jobs won't getcha nowhere.)
He becomes an OPOSSUM. A shell of a human being.
He shrivels up and prowls the streets, both in day and in night. His skin becomes blotchy and wrinkly; his clothing holey and tattered; his hair long and wiry. He is what you hear hissing in the night. Every day after exhausting day must he wait whilst his emails and LinkedIn remain silent. His old hobbies begin to bore him, so he lusts for new adventures, and even with a full driver's license, he struggles to find those. Believe it or not, an OPOSSUM keeps himself and his house fairly tidy, primarily due to having far too much time on his hands.
And OPOSSUM-hood leads to Uncyclopedia addiction.
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This user's timezone is UTC-8 (PST). His time is currently 03:57. If you can't find him right now, it's probably midnight his time and/or he's eating salmon (if he's got some). Assuming he has a "normal" sleep schedule (fat chance), he is most likely inactive right now. Check back in a few hours. () |