User:OPOSSUM

It's OPOSSUM!

That's not me. That's my father, we look rather similar.

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This user is Antarctic and regrets coming to live there in the first place! This user is an Uncyclopedia Marshal. This user's timezone is UTC-8 (PST). Their time is currently 17:27. () ABYSS This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss. ABYSS This user has made it to Ketchikan.

Oh Lord, fuck this site

Always wished that I could quit

Still it lures me back

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Sometimes, a man graduates from high school, and all his old friends go off to college while he's stuck back home struggling to find a decent job.

While the more productive souls among us will quickly find a proper career, and the less productive will fully embrace their unemployment, the awkward man in the middle between these two categories continues to suffer.

He becomes an OPOSSUM. A shell of a human being.

He shrivels up and prowls the streets, both in day and in night. His skin becomes blotchy and wrinkly; his clothing holey and tattered; his hair long and wiry. He is what you hear hissing in the night. Every day after exhausting day must he wait whilst his emails and LinkedIn remain silent. His old hobbies begin to bore him, so he lusts for new adventures, and even with a full driver's license, he struggles to find those. Believe it or not, an OPOSSUM keeps himself and his house fairly tidy, primarily due to having far too much time on his hands.

And OPOSSUM-hood leads to Uncyclopedia addiction.