The House of The Boston Hurricane Guy, Esquire

Homepage • Screaming • Unearned shit • • Pocket Sand • Visual aids • Fuck off

Nominated Writer of the Month

This user has been nominated for Writer of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Month.

⏲️	This user's timezone is UTC-4 (Boston time). His time is currently 21:35. If you can't find him right now, it's probably midnight his time and/or he's watching the whichever team doesn't suck. Assuming he has a normal sleep schedule (fat chance), he may be active right now. (Purge)

HALL OF SHAME CLASS OF '25

Commander of the Order

Quote to live by: "Don't cruise your search engine."

I'm wanking material, according to this

I exist.^{[citation needed]} Apparently, I'm the physical embodiment of New England. Call me Turbs, Turbo, Turb0, Sunrise, or "You. Yeah, you. That assfuck in the corner." I was browsing around for a few months before making any edits, and i only made about 20 edits before creating my account. Apparently Alula hates me for some reason.

i kinda play the ukulele,^{[big fat greek lie]} know way too much about the White Mountains in New Hampshire, and should be treated worse than you because of this. I think I coined the phrase "added a funny"

• UNCYCLOPEDIAN PASSPORT •

Passport Card no. 4.252.99.182
Name = Turb0 J. Sunrise
Nationality = Bostonian
This is a valid Uncyclopedian Passport granting the holder passage to any country;
excepting Canada, the United States, England, or any other country in which anyone would actually want to live.

Please don't joke block or ban me for longer than 30 seconds, if you do, you will be unable to outrun the grues I keep locked in my closet.

UnMood

[purge]	[edit]

Turb0's Great ol' Sack of Perverted Bullshittery^TM (and why it's Perverted Bullshittery)[edit | edit source]

Big=Featured, italics=rewrite, underlined=VFHed

Wally the Green Monster * Hamsters * Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority * Surprisium * AIBOPAAT/Big with OPOSSUM * Worst 100 Reflections on 2025 * Wikipedia Humor * HowTo:Burn Your Friend's House Down * Road Rage * Presidential Range * HowTo:Become a Stuffy Intellectual * That time a guy nearly raped me during his sojourn in Canada * HowTo:Behave Yourself * Tinnitus * UnNews:A dingo ate my baby

I've also made most of UnGames:Go to Fenway, and came up with the idea and created some of UnGames:Onwards to Boston.

I survived the Suicide Bomber game, and you didn't!

Stuff I've Done[edit | edit source]

Nommed A Splode and Boston for FA status

Punted a baby off a cliff

Fistbumped Chuck Norris' third fist

Outpizza'd the Hut

Outjabba'd the Hutt

Built this city on rock and roll

Fucked on, not off

Spartan-kicked Taylor Swift off a bridge

My Favorite quotes from this site[edit | edit source]

“Scientifically speaking, murder is defined as extroverted suicide.”
~ Uncyclopedia on Murder

“Piss battle unlocked!”
~ Me on the urinals at Fenway Park

“I was thinking... pool noodles are some of the most multi-purpose devices on earth. You can use them as swords, cannons, and boats.”
~ OPOSSUM on Pool Noodles

YEAH!

Dirty Water

I'm gonna tell you a story

I'm gonna tell you about my town

I'm gonna tell you a big fat story, baby

Aah, it's all about my town

Yeah, down by the river

Down by the banks of the river Charles

(Aah, that's what's happening, baby)

That's where you'll find me,

Along with lovers, muggers, and thieves

(Aah, but they're cool people)

Well I love that dirty water,

Oh, Boston you're my home

(Ooh, you're the number one place)

Frustrated women,

(I mean they're frustrated)

Have to be in by twelve o'clock

(oh, that's a shame)

But I'm a-wishin' and a-hopin'

(oh)

That just once those doors weren't locked

(I like to take time with my baby, walk around)

Well I love that dirty water,

Oh, Boston, you're my home

(Oh yeah)

Kickass harmonica solo*

'Cause I love that dirty water,

Aaooh, Boston, you're my home

(Ooh yeah)

Well I love that dirty water,

(I love it, baby)

Love that dirty water,

(I love Boston)

Love that dirty water,

(Have ya heard about the strangler?)

Love that dirty water,

(I'm the man, I'm the man)

Love that dirty water,

In season 12, ep. 13 of Family Guy, the map at 09:21 is missing New Hampshire and Maine, proving these states do not exist.

I like yelling at New Yorkers, hiking, being a dumbass, cheeseburgers, lighting stuff on fire, being a dumbass, anything Boston, being a dumbass, and being a dumbass.

Did i mention being a dumbass?

awesome stuff

YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! YANKEES SUCK! LETS GO RED SOX!

I have one game-used ball and one practice ball from Fenway Park (to be updated whenever)^{[you sure about that?]}