Sorry I wandered off shortly after wandering on 2 years ago. I'm immortal so tine perception wise, it was like leaving for day. Regardless, thought the changes you made to that waiter dildo article you made were brilliant and sorry I never told you that then.
Also, you're a freaking crat now? Congradumashuns! It'sTheReturn ofJazz... Because non sequiturs. 06:54, 30 January 2026 (UTC)
Hey duderino. Glad to see you back. Yeah, the site has an energy we haven't seen in a long while. Also article numbers are relatively high and the quality is through the roof.
Defo, the dildo article was a good one. I just read it and needed a smoke and a quick nap ;)
My crat responsibilities are epic, with great power comes great responsibility opportunities to abuse a system and terrorize the plebs.
We should defo do a collabShabiDOO 09:40, 30 January 2026 (UTC)
I'd be open to that. No idea what though. It'sTheReturn ofJazz... Because non sequiturs. 09:26, 7 February 2026 (UTC)
Actually, I do have an idea. We should do an article making fun of how omnipresent AI is. Maybe have it written from the perspective of someone who is just now hearing about it for the first time... somehow. And it can take that naivety and dovetail from there. What do you think? It'sTheReturn ofJazz... Because non sequiturs. 09:33, 7 February 2026 (UTC)
That's where I'm going to be working on this. You're welcome to use it if you want. I know it's user space but I'm cool with it, collab and all. It'sTheReturn ofJazz... Because non sequiturs. 09:53, 7 February 2026 (UTC)
hell, that's actually a great idea. I'd like to help if possible. 15:16, 7 February 2026 (UTC)
I'm cool with it if Shabidoo is. Also I technically haven't got their agreement yet. But yeah the more the merrier. I'm just working in use space so it doesn't get burninated before it's done cooking. Not sure if that mixed metaphor made sense but who cares?It'sTheReturn ofJazz... Because non sequiturs. 20:13, 7 February 2026 (UTC)
wait until MrX finds out you're cheating on him --DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 22:11, 2 February 2026 (UTC)
Can you unlock the talk page for Top 10 Articles of 2025/voting?[edit source]
@Shabidoo: I was doing an updated tally for the final results, with breakdown before you locked it. Cheers Noopnurf,NoopiestofNurfs 22:08, 2 February 2026 (UTC)
for the UTCG, i need some sort of, well... something... to represent you. Are you the grue on your user page? a banana? I keep thinking its shabadoo from the simpsons, but that doesn't sound right... MetalKittenっ◔◡◔)っ 13:58, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
I used to be most commonly referred to by the banana on my talkpage. But the grue is also cool. Whatever fits with your aesthetic will work. Looking forward to seeing these!!!ShabiDOO 16:31, 3 February 2026 (UTC)
At the end of January, the server of en.uncyclopedia.co went down. This led a bunch of people (Alula, Fish on skates, Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, Soviet, and RealDonaldTrump), to join the spoon and discover that Spike is a sockpuppet of OPOSSUM. The spoon's LPTEW also received a spike in activity as everybody from the fork scrambled to figure out what the heck was going on. Fish tried reaching out to Alula through wplace about what would happen to the Top 10 voting, which was extended a day to account for the server outage. The construction tag deadlines on multiple articles were also extended by a few days too.
It all started when our resident potatochopper and weeb MK hid the edit buttons on her userpage so no one could edit it. I, thinking I'm so clever, found an actual use for the visual editor and used it to prove I could still edit. This escalated into a vandalism contest much like the one OPOSSUM held, and even spread to pages like her editnotice and her signature. This is what the userpage looked like at the end of the silliness.
What do you think of saying "archibe" instead of "archive"? — Soviet
archibe
From The Logs
(spoon) 16:39, 31 January 2026 Spike blocked RealDonaldTrump with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (You can't do that)
00:28, 2 February 2026 RealDonaldTrump blocked SPIKE with an expiration time of 4 millennia, 9 centuries, 9 decades, 9 years, 364 days, 17 hours, 49 minutes and 12 seconds (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (You're not allowed to do that)
08:31, 2 February 2026 L10nM4st3r changed block settings for L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 21:58, 1 February 9025 (account creation disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
This isn't a joke. We actually VFD'd an FA! Taylor Swift's "psy-op", an article[duh] created by alleged AI-writer Tranvit, has been fuckedbaleeted tossed down that super deep hole in Russia or wherever it is on VFD. MrX briefly lost his shit over it, before everybody seemingly forgot about it all. What were we talking about?
On LPTEW, Fish on skates started complaining about Turb0-Sunrise's constant edit conflicts. Both of them complained like 5-year-olds to DaniPine3, when ColonelKurtz decided to hold a fair trial, hearing both sides. Upon hearing both sides, Kurtz decided Turb0's description of the events wasn't detailed enough, at which point Fish threatened him. Hockey salmon was there too, for some reason. As with all court cases, it eventually came down to more angry five-year-old arguing. Aside from arguing, highlights include God making an appearance, confirming his secret gay relationship with Satan.
So. Uhh. Yeah. You probably know what a sitenotice is. Those things nobody looks at and dismisses as soon as they pop up. Well MrX had the bright idea to parody Wikipedia's 25 year anniversary. I made the editnotice, MrX made some tweaks, and long story short, my work is on every page of this website.[note 1]
Dani's revision of the original drawing. The horrors... nice tits on it though...
Fish's reply. Not to be confused with GlitchyZorua, the topic of the biopic, even though the damn wrapper puts it in the biopic section and i don't feel like adding more whitespace to this fucking thing to make it not in the biopic, even though this ridiculous rant is causing way more whitespace than should be allowed in an average UnSignpost issue
Demon spawning ground and local dumbassery[note 2] LPTEW has spawned yet another monstrosity, this time in the form of a moe personality of LPTEW itself. Fish on skates began the horrors, mentioning it in a completely unrelated thing, only for DaniPine3 to create an eldritch abomination beyond the wildest dreams of Satan himself.
These creations were met with mixed reactions, with GlitchyZorua calling for them to be killed with fire, ColonelKurtz having a stroke, Turb0-Sunrise forcing Fish to give hers red socks, and somebody masturbating. I heard it. It was in the broom closet.
If you see these creatures, seek medical attention immediately. You will likely die if exposed to these creatures for long periods of time. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
The week is upon us. Forest Fire Week. BURN THE SHIT! BURN IT! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Biopic
There's a place in France or somewhere. They say there's nude dancing. Sounds like fun. This has nothing to do with GlitchyZorua, who is honestly great. They don't do much actual writing, but they're around. Mostly on VFD, but if you hide in the dark corners of MrX's talk page, Zorua'll be there.
10:57, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 7 minutes and 5 seconds (account creation disabled) (Felt like it)
11:02, 7 February 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 1 hour and 8 minutes (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Payback >:[)
11:10, 7 February 2026 Alula unblocked Alula(it's not very effective...)
11:12, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 3 seconds (account creation disabled) (DaniPi3)
14:08, 9 February 2026 Alula blocked 50.206.73.246 with an expiration time of 1 day (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (pay attention in class you idiot)
If your talkpage doesn't have some weird CSS on it,*cough* MKyou may be noticing that the good[citation needed] ol' USP looks a bit different. We've revamped[note 3] some stuff in the back.
First off, if you look at the super fucking old issuses, you'll see a little thing next to the issue number. We brought that back. Then we split the heading thingy in half. It doesn't do much, but it looks nicer. Then we put the heading in a box. Looks so fucking nice. Now we put the WHOLE THING in a bo- excuse me...
oh, oh,OH!
Where were we?
Quote(s) of the Week
“usiong hHE POWER OF NTO CORERCTINT WORDS I WILL UNCYCLEOPEDIA A MAJROR STROEK AND THEN TO STOP THE STOPKE THEY WWKKWKKWWKWKWKWKWJWWJ”
– ColonelKurtz
“I'd rather be Spamton, because back then he had a giant TV sugar daddy.”
Been busy lately, should have sent this sooner. Thanks for your contributions to 2020 United States presidential election controversies. All funny of course, I removed/tweaked some of them just cuz I thought doing so keeps the concept more in line. But please do feel free to keep contributing to that or any other article I created. Cheers. MrXblow me 16:15, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
Hey no prob. I'm travelling for the month so will take a look in a few weeks ;) ShabiDOO 08:54, 19 February 2026 (UTC)
Nice. Hope it’s fun! MrXblow me 15:11, 19 February 2026 (UTC)
Holy shit. They actually did it. ColonelKurtz got banned by Alula for "repeated creation of garbage pages, spamming discussions with gibberish/irrelevant messages, generally just being a dick, etc." Following a brief change of the blocking time to 2 hours by DaniPine3, Turb0-Sunrise put that one template on his page, with Soviet moving the old contents to a new page. People started taking his subpages in a process known as "article-trenching".
Aside from that, one of his last acts was voting against on my article on VFH. Soo... you could say it's mixed reactions from ol' Turb0.
For whatever reason, newcomer OrdinaryJoe1234 has been nominated a ton of articles like ChatGPT and Rickrolling. Despite being warned by Shabidoo, he has still continued nominating articles. Because of this, he has earned the nickname "The 2011th Fenris" from Fish on skates just now.
After the purging of the AI articles helped by Gergdown's revolution thingy, people want to do something about AI images. However, everyone has a different opinion. MrX, OPOSSUM, and Noopnurf want to leave the AI images alone, but Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, DaniPine3, MK, and I would like to do something. After a lengthy off-topic conversation on the user talk page of recently banned ColonelKurtz, a forum was created with the title of The Noopstein Files.
15:22 Alula blocked ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (ugh)
20:31, 13 February 2026 DaniPine3 changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of 2 hours (account creation disabled) (hold on, why infinite? the guy hasn't done anything really bad now)
20:33, 13 February 2026 Alula changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (dani don't bother, this is for his general behavior)
Because this only happens once in a whenever, we here at the USP would like to welcome Deemoxagoard aboard. Fuck. Shit. You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Turb0? As we all know, the correct way of spelling aboard is aboard!!! Obviously not agoard!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Turb0.
Anyways, welcome Deemox. There's cake here somewhere. Depending on if Bill ate it all. Fuck you, Bill.
I mean, yeah, I'm pretty fucking awesome. ShabiDOO 08:55, 19 February 2026 (UTC)
Wait, these claims are false, I was not on "face book", because I do not use "face book", or even the similarly but confusingly named "facebook". — L10nM4st3rROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 13:22, 19 February 2026 (UTC)
nuh uh, I clearly saw a lion going out for a walk on facebook a while ago! MetalKittenっ◔◡◔)っ 13:24, 19 February 2026 (UTC)
and I saw a bird outside. this connects L10nM4st3r to Alula, more proof that L10n and DaniPine3 and Alula and OPOSSUM constantly work together to the point that they my even be socks of each other --DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 15:25, 19 February 2026 (UTC)
A story that was built, a retrospective on the wildly popular ASBOxAAT series, listed February 22nd, 2026 as the date that L10nM4st3r would make a page called "A story built one advertisement at a time". After some pushing by Fish on skates and Gergdown, the page was made 5 days later. L10n, the geek he is, actually found a way to redirect the main page (yes, THAT main page) to editing the article. MrX and even I found that to be a bit too far, so after some mild craziness, the main page is back to how it is, and MrX may or may not be able to edit it. Don't mind the site notice.
Deemox, the noob that was covered here a few months(?) ago, has now become an extended confirmed user. He has now written around six articles, all of which are very good and you should read them. none of them will crash your computer I promise[citation needed]. they are all very high quality.
what is your opinion about the fact that I am in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
no you're not. i checked.
Does it ever hail in Boston? Because believe it or not, it does in Ventura (Wait, never mind, that was graupel, or maybe sleet.) — OPOSSUM
the last time it did was maybe, 4 years ago?
Does the sun ever set on the Bostonian Empire? — alula
no
Did you know that you're really bad at checking if someone is in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
yes
What do did you do with your life before you joined Uncyclopedia? — Soviet
fuck if i remember
What will you do with your life now that you've joined uncyclopedia? — Gammakid999
fuck if i know
From The Logs
02:35, 20 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker, administrator and flood (the dutch will not be happy about this)
01:51, 21 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, flood, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator (dani why did you ask for flood when you very clearly weren't gonna use it for something spammy)
22:30, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 14 hours, 18 minutes and 31 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
22:31, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Soviet with an expiration time of 32 minutes and 2 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
00:19, 2 March 2026 Alula unblocked Fish on skates (right, this block is 14 hours long...)
March 18th, 2026 • Issue #246 • It's a bird, it's a plane, IT'S SUPERM- oh. It's just the UnSignpost. Go home, everybody.Current issue • Archives • Press Room
BREAKING NEWS! A new project is sweeping the realmstate closet we broadcast out of! That's right, The UnHistory book is a thing! Right now we're still in the "pinging every single old person we can think of" stage (see biopic below), but it's gonna be pretty cool. At least, that's what I think. After all, as Shakespeare once said, "Quoting people is fun!"
It has been... a while... but the goofiness has hit the towers of Uncyclopedia and like three other social media sites. Double-whammy as it was created September 11th. This is DEFINITELY not Gerg assploding after six months of soft labour! Will it BREAK YOUR RAISIN-SIZED BRAIN? Fuck, you didn't even HAVE a brain before you wanna play this shitty mod!
Honestly I'm not even gonna DARE add any more context. For those anti-youngings (oldlings) reading this, interacting with the Priest Goofball mod is as dangerous as having an erection in Chernobyl.
MK is making some cool new sigs! Ones that jump, ones that spin, ones that hit you with a car, ones that gamble, and ones that do other shit! Some have sound, even! In addition to this, MK has been making other cool CSS creations, and even made my sig!
Biopic
Codeine, your anti-drug, is still around apparently. You never know who might be lurking in the shadows. You never know who's gonna poke out of the shadows and then go right back in again because the shadows are decidedly comfy, or come back from a monthly month-long hiatus for a soda and some minor edits, or explore the old corridors and see if they still smell like they used to.
Have you ever had a dream that, that you, um, you had, your, you— you could, you'll do, you— you wants, you, you could do so, you— you'll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything? — AtomicAnon
yuppers
From The Logs
01:08, 10 March 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Turb0-Sunrise with an expiration time of 1 minute and 40 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (for edit conflicting me in Forum:Last person to edit wins >:[)
00:16, 16 March 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 00:44, 20 June 3023 (account creation disabled) (The cabal wishes it)
00:20, 16 March 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 2 weeks (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (two can play this game... >:])
00:23, 16 March 2026 Alula unblocked Alula (this is uncyclopedia. there are no games to be played here. except the priest goofball mod)
00:29, 16 March 2026 DaniPine3 unblocked DaniPine3 (goofball mod tomorrow)
The former UnSignpost everythinger and Bostonian propaganda spreader Turb0-Sunrise was banned after evidence that he used sockpuppets. There are too many to list here, but the accounts were usually named after hockey coaches.
That's right, the former admin and very old user Zombiebaron came back after a nearly 3-year-long hiatus. Gammakid999 immediately spammed his talk page with what appears to be lengthy messages of gibberish. He was then banned for one month and 2/3rds of a second due to spamming on Zombiebaron's talk page. Very sad.
We're happy to get the Baron back, but I have just one warning to tell you: If you see him on a FurAffinity page... be on alert... maybe run depending on your opinions.
Gergdown was caught trying to do EVIL, like creating bad articles to clog up qvfd, and breaking into Schism's home! That's right, something so EVIL, it was in real life! In addition to these horrible crimes, Gerg was convicted of being from Edmonton.
Very happy to do so. What brings you to uncyclopedia @Wikipedia Hater:. What do you want to get out of writing here? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
I feel like I'm living in coocoo-land, I never forget to sign my posts....what are you all on about? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)
Also, even if I did stop signing my posts...what are you going to do about it? Huh? Punk? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)
I'm gonna keep spamming that tilde template. Like so:
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~
Gergdown added over a million spaces to my talk page, breaking every single template on there and making it even more laggy than it was before. Obviously, I reverted it moments later, but it made me realize what "the scientifically biggest talk page possible" would actually look like. However, before I reverted, I replied to it and signed my post with four tildes that would expand into my signature and make my talk page longer than the scientifically biggest page possible. On the talk page of the scientifically biggest page possible, Gergdown's response to the whole situation was "We broke Uncyclopedia, thanks to Fish on skates (and I guess me too). What the fuck."
The moment VFS opened up, three users were immediately nominated; Turb0-Sunrise, Fish on skates and Gergdown. All of which had positive votes from various users. Later in the voting process, PriestGoofball and MK were nominated, with Priest Goofball getting more positive votes and MK being a candidate for the worst VFS nom EVER.
Uncyclopedia now has an official Fluxer server! From what I can understand, it's a Discord alternative. Among the people who've joined are L10nM4st3r, Alula, Neco arc's husband, the pikaclone guy, and of course, yours truly.
Recently, a ton of spambots have been flooding recent changes. All of them are sock puppets that either blank, spam or replace various articles and talk pages. All the vandals target Turb0-Sunrise's talk page likely because he keeps reverting their vandalism. What makes the situation more annoying is that they keep vandalising when no admins are active leading to them wreaking havoc for extended periods of time. Fortunately, Fish on skates, Turb0 and I have been able to revert the vandalism.
15:27, 8 April 2026 Turb0-Sunrise moved page Uncyclopedia:Last person to edit wins to Forum:Last person to edit wins over a redirect without leaving a redirect (NO. UNFORGIVABLE. GOODBYE.) (Tags: wTools, Disambiguation links)
19:24, 8 April 2026 Alula moved page Film to Movie(the literal displaytitle of this article is "movie". like come on) (Tag: wTools)
On UN:List of notable Uncyclopedians, i kinda want to split the super long section (Modern Age, 2011-) into multiple sections, but idk what to separate it into. Since you were active in the 2010s, what do you think? --DameFishonskatesDUNVFHUotM 01:21, 29 April 2026 (UTC)
Never ever saw this page before. Isn't that crazy!?!?! Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I would definitely say as of 2018 would deserve a new section. That was definitely a new phase (with a gap of 2 years with no new notables). That could use a bit of updating as well.
If you want to break it up further, you could create a phase starting with Leverage up to and including myownbad self. As leverage and magic bus brought in a whole new era of writing (extremely good writing). The loss of Leverage I would say was pretty devastating.
If you do break them up into three ages, then Omnifluff to sinner george would the be Dark Ages (this was the post break up of the site which was a hard time and didn't see that many featured articles)
From Leverage to Myownbadself would be the Middleages (a rebuilt)
Cassie on would be the revival age.
And from Cassie on would be the renaissance age.
I would also suggest removing (having written a single article) because that conflicts with being in the hall of shame). To be notable would require at least three features or anything else there. Otherwise, this list would explode. ShabiDOO 08:32, 29 April 2026 (UTC)
Do you think we should remove the banned users from this list, as some kind of Damnatio memoriae? or do you think it's better to leave those alone? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 08:44, 29 April 2026 (UTC)
We should leave the banned users on the list. For better or worse, they were notable. MrXblow me 22:18, 29 April 2026 (UTC)
If the USA's so great, why'd they make the USP?[edit source]
Over on AIBOPAAT and AIBOPAAT/Big, a small coalition has begun to take the Canadian flag by force. In a clear break of the Armistice, the troops have begun turning the flag perple, which if successful, will lead to the presence of two Chanadian flags on each versions, with a total of 4. Gergdown and Soviet have begun fighting back, though with little success.
After a counter-attack on the 24th and the 25th however, the Canadians have been able to push the Purplese back from almost total destruction of the Canadians to having the flag be painted red in AIBOPAAT and being painted pure Canadian blood in AIBOPAAT/Big.
I've been visiting our wacky cousin Illogicopedia a few times. It's a peculiar land where they tell stories of fnurdle-toots, eeble-sonks, and long-gone legends. I was wandering around one day, as I often do, and decided to write a few articles. Articles there are pretty easy to write, it just has to not be gibberish. And the people, while not as active as the Uncyclopedian bunch, answer questions eventually. There are familiar faces, some of which are a bit too familiar, and there are completely new (to me) people. And something I've noticed recently is more Uncyclopedians coming there. Me included.
17:18, 28 April 2026 Hindleyite was automatically promoted from autoconfirmed user and rollbacker to autoconfirmed user, rollbacker and extended confirmed user
It's true, one of the things that made uncyclopedia so great during the golden age was the talk page banter. It's fun when it's vibrant. ShabiDOO 22:36, 14 May 2026 (UTC)
In case you haven't already heard, we have 3 new admins this month. Turb0-Sunrise, Gergdown, and me have all passed April's VFS. So far, 2 out of the 3 admins' first administrative decision was to block DaniPine3. Exciting! On the less exciting side of things, Turb0 has decided to take a week and a half long break as his first act of being an admin.
If you read our last issue, you'll know that a small group of people were attempting to perple-ify the Canadian flag on AIBOPAAT and AIBOPAAT/Big. Unfortunately for the perpleres, Gergdown and Soviet were able to hold most of the leaf there, but also unfortunately for them, had to concede the red leaf in AIBOPAAT/Big! That is, until weapons of mass destruction were created. On the frontlines? Soviet's Bot. A bot made for defending Canada every time a user edited in that area. The perplerers didn't stand a chance, as the leaf was flipped in an hour. But Soviet's Bot was later captured after complaints of bugs and unfairness.
After many months of nothing happening, Gergdown and Alula have managed to fix the few redlinks left in sprawling text adventure game Make it to Ketchikan. As of the time of writing, there are 2,115 pages in the game's category, which is around 300 more than the original Zork.
22:19, 30 April 2026 Alula changed group membership for Turb0-Sunrise from autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and thumbsucker to autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker, thumbsucker and administrator (fun fact: the "ys" in sysop stands for "yankees suck!")
22:21, 30 April 2026 Alula changed group membership for Gergdown from autopatroller, confirmed user, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and thumbsucker to autopatroller, confirmed user, extended confirmed user, rollbacker, thumbsucker and administrator (fun fact: the "pl" in sysopl stands for "perple lerf")
22:36, 30 April 2026 Fish on skates blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 1 second (Wow, this "block" feature is amazing!)
22:49, 30 April 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 3 seconds (account creation disabled) (being a lazibum)
This issue is a [specil] one, not only because this is the 250th UnSignpost, but because the UnSignpost is 18 years old. That's right, it's of legal age! On May 6-8th, 2008, when Uncyclopedia was still a colony of Wikia, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek wrote the first ever UnSignpost, delivered by lovely bot Fnoodle. Old UnSignpost issues didn't have a template, looked all colorful and stuff, and had advertisements for articles obtained through Special:Random. Here's a short excerpt from the first issue.
“For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million.”
Around the time WMF was shutting down Wikinews, they were promoting Wikifunctions instead. So I decided to propose UnFunctions on the village dump, later making a prototype Main Page of it on my sandbox. Soon, it will be high quality enough to go to mainspace (however I’ve been making redirects to the page, and I’ve apologized). Enjoy this very new UnProject!
It all started when Ri asked MrX and Turb0-Sunrise to nominate themselves for UGotM because they claimed, "I barley do shit." This led to me replying to Ri saying they're not eligible because the award is for people who write crap, and Ri hasn't written that much. After responding to Ri, he proceeded to make a bunch of crappy articles such as The epic tale on how I attempted to get useless gobshite of the month and Me after I ha sex with ivy both containing a single line of text. Shortly after, I informed Ri this is not how you get UGotM and told him he had to write actual articles.
Eventually, MrX replied to Ri saying, "Probably not, mainly because I rarely dip into the of-the-month awards, also because this is basically a self nomination after your request."
After the incident with Ri, I have decided to nominate AtomicAnon for UGotM due to him writing at least 27 articles that are short, lacking in images and/or links and got huffed. Fish on skates has voted For. saying he restarted the Perple Lerf war. AtomicAnon has also nominated MSCGWW saying her articles are mostly imcomplete and that she treats this site as a story telling forum.
I was on the Uncyclopedia Discord server, scrolling through #recent-changes because it had an unread message, and the bot said that Alula edited Forum:Archiving Uncyclopedia, which is an UN:DUMP forum about archiving Uncyclopedia pages just like Encyclopædia Dramatica has did for years. I had so much effort adding this headline, but someone has edited the page before I had saved, so I had to start from the beginning. Screw Turb0-Sunrise.
Do you like my new signature? It has the flag of my country, which does not violate UN:PII by the way. I checked and you can in fact, mention your country on Uncyclopedia. — OfficialWatchOS7
Do you have any extremely tedious tasks for my bot? — Soviet
have it clean your room or something
From The Logs
18:12, May 14, 2026 Turb0-Sunrise changed group membership for Gammakid999 from autopatroller and extended confirmed user to autopatroller, extended confirmed user and rollbacker (felt like it)
22:23, May 19, 2026 Alula changed group membership for OPOSSUM's alt account created because the spanish sysadmins are retarded from (none) to autopatroller (for patrolling purposes)
23:30, 20 May 2026 Gergdown blocked Squaw Dee with an expiration time of 1 second (account creation disabled) (MOVED my AWESOME PAGE.......)
23:39, 20 May 2026 Turb0-Sunrise blocked Gergdown with an expiration time of 15 hours (account creation disabled) (blocked Squaw Dee)
23:54, 20 May 2026 Gergdown blocked Turb0-Sunrise with an expiration time of 1 month (account creation disabled) (Blocked Squee Dee at a different time)
Ehhh, the website had died down back then to the point that I tried to run a competition, and two people signed up and none of them submitted their article, I couldn't get any VFH passed with minimum votes and people were mostly unresponsive on the website. It was so dead, it seemed as though the website was over. Meanwhile, no chance I was going back to the spoon whilst SPIKE was bullying the shit out of everyone and Romartus and Simslikesims did nothing about it. I would say splitting to the fork here was the right thing to do (especially looking at the mess that is wikia now) but it could have been handled a lot better. There was a lot of drama at the time and people just fizzled away. Looked back a year later and saw, magically, the site was somewhat revitalised and has since grown back to a vibrant community again. Really happy the place is still going. Back in the day, like in the 2010s, I'd spend hours on the site. There were some absolutely outstanding writers and the banter on the talk-pages was legendary. We now have that again. Really happy to see it thriving once more. ShabiDOO 10:10, 26 May 2026 (UTC)
...you say? I'm writing with this new account - I think there totally is no way to recover my password and it doesn't matter, nothing's really lost. Check Fish on skates' talk page and mine, we have this series of articles going. I don't remember if you were in on Summit of Spin but the idea is the same: link articles together by contradicting articles and so forth, so that one article breeds others. We started with Broken TV set and the ideas are already exploding. TV set of many uses is a veiled attempt by a TV manufacturer to market TVsomu:s to get better prices: idea is to have consumers believe that TVsomu can be used better than a regular TV set after it has broken. Later UnNews where people riot when their spiritual beliefs urge them to just keep the broken TV sets without turning them into other useful things as per the Usage section within Broken TV set (which can be expanded as much as you have ideas). Then portrait articles where the implied author (some invented character obviously) is seen as the saviour of whatever we come up with, something around the TV set thing. You know, nonsense that satirizes spin mechanisms of the real world, the way I like to mix it. Fish is writing an article on fixing your TV set and I just finished one on how to choose tools for dismantling the set, a sideline that just happened because it seemed funny. MultLit (talk) 11:04, 29 May 2026 (UTC)
I give up, do what you like. I quit Uncyclopedia last time after getting into this kind of arguments with people and it's not important enough to me. This is not me being bitter already - I just realized it's far better to collaborate than have everything my way. I mean it, go ahead. The stuff will probably improve if you write a lot. MultLit (talk) 11:38, 29 May 2026 (UTC)
Also, that's part of the reason why I'd want to establish collaboration serials rather than collaborating on articles (much). I just now remembered it was a big reason for starting the SoS thing. We get ideas from each others' articles and can discredit everything in them in our own articles, and so forth. Reduces friction. MultLit (talk) 11:44, 29 May 2026 (UTC)
Hey mate, there is absolutely NO aggression or hostility meant from my side, no argument started. If you are open to full collaboration, bring it on. ShabiDOO 12:37, 29 May 2026 (UTC)
OK, I thought about this for a couple of days and I concluded most of it was because I was in a fucking bad mood having spent 2 weeks with a flu. I just interpreted your way of doing things as aggressive, and should have replied after thinking. But we are even 60% dumber when in a bad mood, so what did I have to think with? Now that you gave me advice, also, here's mine to you: the right way to get shit done is not "I think this is better" but "Yes, and...", the way they do it in improvisation theatres like Second City. Not my idea, but a well studied one by other people. If it's OK by you, let's put all this aside and restart? I would honestly like you to collaborate (which is part of the reason I blew up a bit - I thought I had spoiled it for good) - but if our styles are too different in principle, why not join in the general idea pool (which we could also set up concretely) around this whole overall thing I'm trying to set up? Also, if any of our articles spark others please write those. We're cool by me. MultLit (talk) 04:40, 31 May 2026 (UTC)
Nicenone, let's do it! ShabiDOO 10:46, 31 May 2026 (UTC)
Let me be pretty clear on why I'd like you not to alter what I have written. This is a shortcut: in the end we're both out to prove we're superior to the other as a writer. This is a huge waste of time and energy, and I generally get fed up with it even before it really starts. It's not certain this will happen, of course, if you only alter it once and let me have my way then. The solution, as I've been saying, lies in collaborating within an article series. Believe me, I thought this through pretty extensively when I was last here. There's no possible way two writers' tastes can be quickly altered so that both are satisfied with what the other wrote, not even if one of them is clearly superior to the other. You mentioned prima donnas on the talk pages. We all are prima donnas. Noobody will write anything if they don't believe it should be written. MultLit (talk) 06:19, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
Also, if you insist on trying to improve what I wrote, why not add the improved section to the talk page? We can then fix it back and forth until we're both satisfied, instead of stepping on each other's toes. MultLit (talk) 06:23, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
I'm sorry you see this website as a competition rather than a collaborative environment where being superior at writing is a goal rather than openness to improvement, personal development and being happy for others when they succeed and grow. I'm definitely not the Shabidoo I first was 15 years ago. I find much of my fondest experiences have been collaborating with users I have very different styles with, think Nillion, Krypton and Five-second rule. I'll leave you with your article and wish you the best on it. ShabiDOO 08:30, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
No, that's not what I meant. I meant that if we start fixing each other's text without asking it implies we figure we're a better writer than the other. I don't know if there's any way to deny that, but you can try if you think I'm wrong here. MultLit (talk) 08:37, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
You invited people to edit. I edited. You reverted. I respect that. All the best on your article mate. I consider this over and done with and no hard feelings. ShabiDOO 08:42, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
OK, no hard feelings of course. If you still feel like it, go ahead and add your own article(s) to the series, there's no way that could fail. I'm sorry I'm being stubborn but like I said in the deleted comments, a bit too old to change my style or much else. MultLit (talk) 08:45, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
I've brainstormed up some random shit for a new article about "annoying" at User:SystemPhantom/Annoying, let me know if any of that seems good ❄️SystemPhantom, with a 🫑bell pepper for you! (talk)❄️ 00:16, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
I liked the general concept of the article itself being annoying, and I think it can work, but it might be helpful to have a bit more restraint about some stuff. Like avoiding a huge long section of text or too many random unrelated ideas. A more ambitious idea would be trying to write an article about annoying, but then annoying things happening that stop you from completing it (though would require some clever GIFs or special effects). Alternatively, you can go along the routes of a more encylopaedic route. But when so, at least with virtually all of my own articles, I have a general uniting underlying concept (other than the topic itself). For example Antipasta's underlying concept was some cheesy pastacentric puns relating pasta terms with sciency terms alongside how ludicrously dangerous it is, whereas Sarah Palin was celebrating her hockey mom'ness with the fact that conversative media gloss over the fact that she is a failed and incompetent politician and speaker. Or maybe closer to yours This is not an article, the underlying concept is playing with Magrittes art form, where he's making the statement that the representation (a painting) is not the real thing, as well as playing with French existentialism (the langauge they use to talk about the absurdity of the human condition). It's always helpful to have an underlying concept or better two which help drive the purpose of your article. It adds coherence and structure, even when the article is absurd. Does that all make sense? ShabiDOO 08:39, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
Sorry, also meant to add, if you are keen, would be fun to collaborate with you on it :) ShabiDOO 08:51, 1 June 2026 (UTC)
SystemPhantom has created a template in their user space which, when opened, displays 25 randomly chosen templates from a list of 94 templates in User:SystemPhantom/TemplatePayload. Bottle made from Bottles then created an Article Nuke, which displays several articles and userpages at once.
Since 19 March, Gammakid999 has been nominated for Sandwich of the Month by AtomicAnon and no one has voted on it since. That was until I finally saw the nomination and voted For.. Shortly after, Gamma voted Yes. .
After 11 days of running, Soviet's Bot has removed all red links that have fewer than three requests from the main space. This has been an issue for so long on Uncyclopedia making articles rampant with red links look horrible, leading to people removing them manually. Next, the bot added Category:Uncyclopedia Games Subpages to all UnGames subpages. However, people thought that the changes were useless since the category was used to keep UnGames subpages off of Special:UncategorizedPages, and most of the pages the bot categorized already had categories. So, Alula rollbacked those edits, flooding recent changes in the process.
Biopic
Multiliteralist, now editing as MultLit, has come back to Uncyclopedia after a very long break. They have created the article Broken TV set with Fish on skates, and plan to make more articles about different views on broken TV sets. Fish likes the new idea, and hopes to help more in the future.
How do I sign A post I forgot how. -leshy64 — Leshy 64
tilde tilde tilde tilde
From The Logs
01:05, 21 May 2026 Turb0-Sunrise blocked Gergdown with an expiration time of 1 minute and 9 seconds (account creation disabled) (not sigma enough)
15:45, 26 May 2026 Turb0-Sunrise blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 47 seconds (account creation disabled) (existed in front of me)
15:35, 27 May 2026 Turb0-Sunrise huffed page Ivan tavčar (NO SHIT SHERLOCK)
15:54, 27 May 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 2 millennia, 8 centuries, 7 decades, 1 year, 304 days, 18 hours, 46 minutes and 48 seconds (account creation disabled) (you must take on the sins of the rest of the spanish pine trees)
19:04, 3 June 2026 Turb0-Sunrise blocked MK with an expiration time of 45 seconds (account creation disabled) (commiting yankee-related war crimes)
On June 3rd, Alula reverted Soviet's Bot, who has categorized every UnGames subpage with Category:Uncyclopedia Games Subpages (which they weren't supposed to have). She gave herself flood to do this, but the user right is bugged so edits tagged as rollback don't get hidden, filling up recent changes completely and causing massive lag on the server in the process. Although all of the edits were reverted, Alula restored a few of the categorised versions.
Uncyclopedia is no stranger to Deltarot (that is, Deltarune brainrot). It's in the forums, it was on the main page that one time, and it even comes up in our belovedUnSignpost. And on June 24th, 2026, chapter 5 of Deltarune will come out. DaniPine3, Alula, Turb0-Sunrise, and I made a bingo card in LPTEW predicting, well, "predicting" what would happen in the new chapter. OPOSSUM however expressed dislike of Deltarune fans, or "Deltagoons", from beyond the grave.
So, as a lot of you might know, Soviet had a signature that used Spike's signature design, and I found out when I joined the Spoon. I asked him about this design in his talkpage, and he said it was for the laughs. Then, Fish on skates responded with the signature design, and Soviet responded with Fish on skates' typical signature design, and then Fish on skates responded to it with my signature design. I actually cringed because the logo was preserved. Update: As of writing this, I am currently at high risk because I am having a discussion relating to the front page of my YouTube channel. For Fish on skates and Soviet: I have removed my channel trailer from the homepage and updated my description.
What is the difference between a trout and a gay trout? When is the regular trout used and when is the gay trout used? Does it have to do with extremeness? — OfficialWatchOS7
it happens upon gay moments
Are you allowed to put three questions in one bullet point? What would the ramifications of this be? And why would Chara do this? — alula
wait have we just decided to call watch "chara" all of a sudden? ok fine
From The Logs
03:08 6 June, 2026 L10nM4st3r blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 5 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (For not being blocked enough times)
03:54 6 June, 2026 Turb0-Sunrise blocked L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 48 seconds (account creation disabled) (blocked dani for not a good reason)
10:49 6 June, 2026 Alula blocked Turb0-Sunrise with an expiration time of 0 seconds (account creation disabled) (interfering with the blocking of the danipines)
09:12, 8 June 2026 Alula blocked Soviet's Bot with an expiry time of infinite (account creation disabled) (one block coming up)
15:00, 17 June 2026 Alula blocked Turb0-Sunrise with an expiration time of 2 hours, 5 minutes and 8 seconds (account creation disabled) (so I herd u like joke blockz)
Zeitpyramide, an article that Gergdown adds one word to every day, will be completed soon on July 5th, 2026. Gerg plans to retire from Uncyclopedia after this, presumably to focus on Deltarot. Many editors have said they'll miss him, and OPOSSUM even made a song as a gift.
On June 24th, Deltarune's 5th chapter came out. While people didn't go as nuts as they did last year when chapters 3 and 4 came out, it was still plenty crazy. The "bingoux kaard" made in LPTEW ended up "[missing] the mark quite spectacularly" according to alula. Also, I confessed to not having played the game at all in the Fluxer. Hey, a good newspaper's gotta not leave anything out.
Yankees get fucking swept, Turb0 causes entire site to go insane
OfficialWatchOS7 created Forum:Getting to know you, which was based on the same forum on Illogicopedia. Unfortunately, there were many misinterpretations, some deliberate, some not. Nobody actually shared anything about themselves, but it was proof that Uncyclopedians can't have nice things.
Any chance you could start checking for which dates don't already have a feature queued up before featuring something? You've managed to put two features on the same date twice now, and it looks awful when put on the main page. Thanks. 23:36, 9 July 2026 (UTC)
Ahhh yeah thats defo my bad. I didn't put in the date so it defaults to the next slot. I'll be mindful of that in the future my darling Alula! ShabiDOO 09:43, 10 July 2026 (UTC)
(go put/something on vfh)
For. saying he restarted the Perple Lerf war. AtomicAnon has also nominated 
