User talk:Mattsnow

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Warna Brotha! FACT ALERT:
This user is a cool elephant

My personal bodyguards!!


UnSignpost Home Delivery
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

Is you back?[edit]

Cuz I haven't talked to you in years. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:43, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

Not really back because I don't have inspiration, but never really left. I'm glad someone remembers me, we had so much of a blast writing Rick Santorum and the constitution thing. I have an article into my userspace that lingers there and it is really a shame. User:Mattsnow/World War II. It's kind of epic, but still needs work, and numerous people contributed to it. I'm glad to see you're back :) Talk Mattsnow 18:49, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Yeah, I've been away for a while but I couldn't stay away forever. We should totally do another collab together. You're so easy to work with and hilarious. And I might just add some stuff to that WWII article if I get any good ideas. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:55, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Cool, I was just thinking that it is a shame we don't have an article about Nirvana or Metallica. I'd be opened to any topics :) Talk Mattsnow 18:57, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Nirvana is one of my favorite bands. That sounds awesome. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:04, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Haha I'm in. I'm listening to the Nevermind album to get in the mood lol. Talk Mattsnow 19:12, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Awesome! I won't be able to write for a few days. You can start it already if you want, but I won't be able to add to it until next week. It's gonna be fun collabing with you again. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:17, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Let's go! User:Mattsnow/Nirvana I'll go slowly. Talk Mattsnow 19:20, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
PARTY HARD! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:35, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Ah the article makes me chuckle so far! Talk Mattsnow 20:27, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
We so silly! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:28, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
If you have undevelopped ideas and suggestions, just leave them here bro :) We'll have to catch up on IRC sometime Talk Mattsnow 20:40, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
Definitely! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:54, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

you're home again![edit]

You did a lot of featuring in the time I was away. I only just returned last month. If you've got the time there's going to be a colonization of the FDR (president guy) article, so you don't need to write a full article if you lack the time.--Nikau (talk) 04:07, 8 October 2014 (UTC)

It's great, good writers like you are coming back :) Who is FDR??? Talk Mattsnow 16:49, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Oh you silly Canadian! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:28, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
OK, it's Roosevelt! I had to google it lol. Sorry, I'm so not a connoisseur of the man. I'll try adding some funny stuff nonetheless. Xamralco, did you check the nirvana article? Talk Mattsnow 21:39, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
It's looking good. I'll add some more stuff to it over the weekend. I'm pretty busy this week but I have a lot of ideas that I can't wait to put into writing. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:44, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Great, I'll refrain from editing it as best I can lol. Talk Mattsnow 21:49, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Feel free to add to it if you want. No pressure. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:56, 8 October 2014 (UTC)

Hey Matt[edit]

Still nearly four days left to finish an article if you like. The great outerspace will give you tons of inspiration. --ShabiDOO 08:07, 8 October 2014 (UTC)

Hi Nikau and Shab :) I don't think I'll participate to the comp, I'll be writing a collab with Xamralco :) Talk Mattsnow 15:40, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
PS: Shab: Unless we can enter a collab in your comp? Talk Mattsnow 16:47, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
No problem. You can do a collab. --ShabiDOO 17:04, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
OK give me the link, punk! :P Talk Mattsnow 17:34, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Here you go bro...MASH POTATO --ShabiDOO 23:08, 8 October 2014 (UTC)


Thank you much very for voting this article for. I very appreciate it much. Also to see you nice on changes recent. Anton (talk) 18:14, 9 October 2014 (UTC)

I honestly liked it. I got this one (first one I wrote in months) on VFH, if you want to go take a read. :) Talk Mattsnow 18:20, 9 October 2014 (UTC)

dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time![edit]

The UnSignpost
Now With 0 Trans Fat!


I started adding stuff to the article. I decided to put on Bleach for some inspiration. I'm now almost done listening to every Nirvana album in chronological order. Look what you do to me. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:38, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

I'm evil :P I'll look at it soon Talk Mattsnow 05:59, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

About losing inspiration...[edit]

Seems its happened to me, too. See the VFH for Samsung, heh. At least it was good to see you again. --Nikau (talk) 05:28, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

I'll read it tomorrow, but don't lose your inspiration, my friend :) Stay with us. Talk Mattsnow 05:59, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Solar flares[edit]

You helped to get solar flares featured. As a reward, here's a dope picture of a solar flare. You can totally make it your desktop background or something.

Magnificent CME Erupts on the Sun - August 31.jpg

Thanks for your vote! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:06, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Nirvana banana[edit]

I enjoyed what there is of it, definitely going to be good when you finish it. Get it finished son(s)! I want to put it on VFH (where my Dag Hammarskjold currently is whore whore whore).--Nikau (talk) 06:38, 1 November 2014 (UTC)

Here's a funny image if you want it for the article >>> Nirvanafarm.jpg --Nikau (talk) 09:46, 1 November 2014 (UTC)
Hehe thanks! I always Google something like 'Nirvana funny' to find pics, but I didn't see that one. If you want to help me write it, go ahead, it's as you wish. I translated a few articles for the French Uncy and my mind is fried right now. Talk Mattsnow 09:54, 1 November 2014 (UTC)
I don't actually know much about them, they're before my time. And I don't want to inject too much of a different style anyway. Xam writes very nicely and so do you, don't need more cooks pissing in the soup. --Nikau (talk) 10:01, 1 November 2014 (UTC)
Cool! We old farts will take care of it! Congrats on your articles, I really enjoy then :) Talk Mattsnow 10:02, 1 November 2014 (UTC)
I'm not sure about the last sentence of the article I just added. I think we should leave the reader on a positive note (not the shotgun sentence!) but have a look. Maybe it sounds like I'm a fan too much? Talk Mattsnow 09:00, 4 November 2014 (UTC)


You're it. Nikau tagged me and now I have ebola. You have to tag someone else now. Spread the disease! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:50, 1 November 2014 (UTC)

The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)[edit]

The UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!


I'm just putting the final touches on it now. When I finish up, I'm gonna mainspace it and nom that shit on VFH. It was a pleasure doing another collab with you. Working with you is always a real treat. :) --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 05:17, 11 November 2014 (UTC)

Done! :D --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 07:04, 11 November 2014 (UTC)
Voted! --Nikau (talk) 09:21, 11 November 2014 (UTC)
Always great working with you dear sir :) Talk Mattsnow 13:16, 11 November 2014 (UTC)


Hi Matt, long time no speak, I hope you're well. I've just voted on your wrestlemania article on VFH. I'd be happy to expand on my criticism a little more if it would help you out, drop me a line and I can do a full review for the article or I can just talk at you here. I don't mind which, so long as you hold me after. --ChiefjusticePSX 07:36, 11 November 2014 (UTC)


Can you come on IRC? --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:06, 16 November 2014 (UTC)

yep Talk Mattsnow 21:49, 16 November 2014 (UTC)

Re-feature queue[edit]

I'm gonna make a fancy chart on the main Re-feature queue page. So I took your comment off and put it on the nomination page here. I'm gonna start compiling the list about now since there seems to be a few entries. You can also pick three articles that you didn't write to nominate if you'd like. :) --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:09, 17 November 2014 (UTC)


It's done! We have to get on IRC one day to make Inconvenience store work. --Nikau (talk) 06:16, 28 November 2014 (UTC)

The Last of Us[edit]

Hell Matt, I just finished reading your article. I generally quite like it and as it made me chuckle in places I'd generally vote for straight away. But I do feel like the article lacks a unifying theme, in places it feels like you're unsure as to whether you want to poke fun at the nature of the game or the slightly sociopathic way the characters react to it. There's no need for some of the more juvenile jokes (Dildo injury) and I think you could make more out of the fact that regardless of the situation Joel and Ellie tend to just wreck everything for everyone before leaving, you could even mention the way the game seems to go out of its way to cut out the parts where the characters come to terms with what has happened to them by cutting to black and fast-forwarding several months to when Ellie has gotten over the murder/suicide she witnessed and is making jokes about soap. I think there's potential for much much more here and it draws me to abstain rather than vote for. What are your thoughts on this? --ChiefjusticePSX 16:49, 28 November 2014 (UTC)

Yeah I think too there is more potential and I rushed a little too much to put it on VFH. Could you huff the VFH page? I'LL polish it more. Talk Mattsnow 16:53, 28 November 2014 (UTC)
If you'd like; I can do a full pee review for the article if you're struggling, just drop me a message. Don't get me wrong, I do like the page, but I have the enduring feeling that there's more to be gained from it. --ChiefjusticePSX 16:56, 28 November 2014 (UTC)


If you have the time let's get on IRC. I need to practice group work before I go back to university and it sounds like good fun brainstorming together. --Nikau (talk) 16:24, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

Sorry, I need to go to work :/ Another time. Talk Mattsnow 16:45, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

Vote, Vote, Vote[edit]

It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:23, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

I second that emotion. DO IT NOW! NOOOOOOOOOW! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ....Geez, I wondered if he imagined Schwarzenegger saying the parts in caps. User:Matthlock/sig2 08:36, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

The 9/11 Commission Report[edit]

Pic sooooo unrelated but fits well everywhere

Hi Matt! I just looked at your page again and realized one very obvious thing, which has been thrown in shade by the many comments this received... This wasn't supposed to be a conspiracy or anti-conspiracy debate, this is a pardoy of the official report, right? So I was thinking, if you want to go for it, abandon all the unnecessary stuff. In some places it really feels like you're trying to bring a serious message to the reader (the message being your or mystical narrator's opinion on the 9/11). I am not saying it isn't important, but you aren't trusting the reader. If he really has no prejudice against your article, if you just present him with your evidence, he'll reach the conclusions himself. Just make sure the evidence is presented with humour and that you're keeping the official tone, which is essential for the parody aspect here.

For instance, "the buildings were not brought down by explosives, which would happen to explain why the structures fell at the rate of gravity and why they were blown to dust" is too in-your-face, I find... In addition, the "bombs brought it down" is a pretty obsolete theory, by the way, rejected by most scientists. The theory still holding some credibility (as far as I understand) is the one about nano-thermites being used by the government after the attack to reduce the potential damage by making sure the building feel right down and not on a side. So maybe try out something like "Despite numerous officers expressing the wish "to give the poor thing a good coup de grace", we swear on the Bible that the necessary part of the demolition has ultimately been accomplished by the terrorists themselves." The tone might not suit you, but just wanted to give an idea. And I'll be very glad if any of this helps you! Anton (talk) 18:38, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

While I take note of your comment and greatly appreciate it, the article is meant to push an opinion across, but in a funny way as far as possible. I think Uncyclopedia is one a of a few places where we can freely laugh about very serious topics without hopefully being rebutted by the opinion implied. Holocaust is an obvious example. Maybe I could put the 'offended' template atop it. I'll take a look at what can be tweaked in the following days (as you suggested). Besides, I'll probably sober up by then, which is a good thing lol Talk Mattsnow 22:37, 21 July 2015 (UTC)
Oh no, I think templates such as the offensive one really ruin the pages that use them. I know you received criticism for having treated the sensitive issue with sarcasm and irony, but that isn't what worries me. I don't have a problem with you joking about sensitive stuff; I know some Holocaust survivors joke about concentration camps, so I don't find this a social problem or anything. It really all depends on how you joke and I just feel like the article's few shortcomings actually ruin all the effect. Consider the bomb sentence. It's a single phrase but it's the second day I am thinking about it, because when I was reading the page, I thought to myself: "Maybe the author was quick with his research, maybe it's just my ignorance, but I have no idea how you can blow down three huge buildings in New York without there being any evidence for it. And how would they do it? A group of government officials carried the bombs into the towers after they got hit by the planes? Before? Then why the planes at all? So nobody would notice the bombs? Wouldn't it be more reasonable and simple to stage a bomb attack and blame it on the terrorists?" You see, it's questions like this that the reader doesn't get an answer to that spoil the reading of an otherwise well-thought-out piece. I decided to do you justice and research the matter, saw that nobody is defending the bomb theory anymore snd conspiracy theorists have switched to nano-thermites - even if this isn't a very popular theory either - and saw there actually was little basis for the bomb statement - unless you have proof of the contrary. Another example. The most controversial part of your article is probably about passengers not fighting the terrorists. Well, another question comes to my mind: why would anyone (considering they aren't an undercover FBI agent or a mentally unstable person) endanger the lives of everyone on the plane by standing up and trying to fight a bunch of armed madmen with their bare hands? Then I went on Wikipedia, found out that the passengers of one plane did try to rebel and, as the result, it crushed earlier than expected. Needless to say, after this, I couldn't bring myself to laugh at the article, even though you have invested great work and potential into the piece.

This is precisely what I mean when I say the piece doesn't do you justice and I really hope you this message doesn't upset you, because this wasn't the goal. The two examples I took were the ones that really stood out and I don't think the article is badly written or unfunny. It has nice prose and jokes, but the fact that you lack a bit of research you could complete in under an hour (that's largely the time I've spent reading about these conspiracy theories, their history and evidence for and against) is what really fails you. But in the end, it all of course goes down to my personal opinion and you might be in total disagreement with it! Sorry for a long message. Anton (talk) 20:55, 22 July 2015 (UTC)

I've researched this a lot back in the days when I wrote it (it's pretty old btw, creation in 2011). I've researched both the official version and the conspiracies versions. Some conspiracies went so overboard it made me laugh, like hologram planes and whatnot. I tried to include them in the article. I think what I believe about the event is irrelevant. I remember when I first nommed it back then, someone voted against and said: 'it is funny, but it is not true'. I thought the comment was very ridiculous as we are on Uncyclopedia. Truth doesn't matter, funniness does. I wish I could update it to today's conspiracy sauce, but I will not, since I am not interested in this article any further. I respect your vote and I'm not trying in any way to influence you to change it. I may write about such topics though in the future, who knows? I have not written for a long while. Thanks for caring though: be assured I read your long message in full :) Talk Mattsnow 07:38, 23 July 2015 (UTC)
Oh, don't worry, I really don't want to insist you do something you don't wish to. I know how annoying it is to rework stuff you've written ages ago. Anton (talk) 15:03, 23 July 2015 (UTC)


No [Monkey] this year? ShabiDOO 16:38, 31 July 2015 (UTC)


Hey Matt. Was about to tell you this on IRC but you quit so I'll leave it here. I fixed the VFH nom for UnNews:Man killed by elephant he was trying to poach for you. If you run into an article that's been re-nommed, have it so that the VFH template's code reads as {{VFH|nompage=Article name (2nd nomination)}}. That way it'll lead you to the appropriate nomination page. Cheers. -- Lost Labyrinth It's Britain bitch! (t)(c)(a) 21:14, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks man! As you could see I'm not patient. Very appreciated, I'll remember this :) Talk Mattsnow 21:19, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

Mr TKF and his retrospective project[edit]

Have you received an answer from him after you posted on his talkpage a year ago? Just wondering. If not, I can interview you myself and send your answers to him (considering you're still interested). Anton (talk) 11:36, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for this opportunity at joy[edit]

Thank you for helping one of my sad little articles get featured. I owe you one, Mathieu. User:Matthlock/sig2 00:07, 23 February 2016 (UTC)

User:Matthlock/NEW ARTICLE YEAH! (with Mattsnow and friends)[edit]

You're invited to edit this article with spam, porn and whatever else crosses your mind. User:Matthlock/sig2 23:03, 4 March 2016 (UTC)


Hey Matt. Sorry to annoy you, but could you vote on VFD to speed up the process?--Abacab (talk) 20:03, 3 May 2016 (UTC)

Yo! Thanks for the message. In my opinion, this place needs more writing than deleting. :( Talk Mattsnow 17:04, 4 May 2016 (UTC)

Remember when people used to be active at least once a year?[edit]

Kevin Spacey and Brad Pit in the same movie lol

Super awesome happy "Seven deadly sins" competition where Shabidoo will win and everyone else colapses into suicidal depression fun week!!! SIGN UP!!! ShabiDOO 14:23, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Since you invited me to ask[edit]

Hi. I was somewhat surprised to see that Uncyclopedia had moved (morphed?), but not so surprised to find that I had once again been deleted. Having re-created myself, I find that one of my favorite contributions, "Public Transport" has now been turned into a redirection to "Public Transportation". I think this also happened once before, so I thought I would humbly ask if I might re-create it as well as myself. Thanks for your expert advice. Jimlemon (talk) 04:55, 25 May 2019 (UTC)User:Jimlemon 14:45, 25/05/2019 (AEST)

Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit]


Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:45, 10 February 2021 (UTC)