Uncyclopedia:Kiss My Ass Holiday Competition

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

*Kiss My Ass*, it's Christmas![edit]

Kiss My Ass Holiday Competition

Farm-Fresh time go.png December 28th January 5th, 2022   
Check out the winners! (refresh)
Kiss my ass cat.png
Christmas cards you wished you didn't even
Awarded for:
Holiday themed images and templates you can't un-see
Founder:
Zana Dark [Banned for life]
Reward:
{{Holiday Victor}} / {{Kiss My Ass}}
First awarded:
2021
Last awarded:
N/A
Preceeded by:
Uncyclopedia: Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball 2021
Followed by:
The Article Whisperer 2022

I know what you're thinking. The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball just ended, what the hell? Judging isn't even completed and there's already another competition? How am I supposed to handle all this chaos, you're crazy! Well, my psychiatrist said it's just a phase I'm going through, and these things have a way of working themselves out—don't worry so much about the long term effects, suck it up, and enter!

Who can enter?[edit]

It is mandatory that all registered members of Uncyclopedia participate. That being said, entry and judging are voluntary and there are few to little consequences if you choose not to participate, although we might force you to convert to Scientology. There are three categories of entry: *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Cards, the Holiday Animation Festival, and the Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer.

How does it work?[edit]

As with the other competitions, compose your work in your userspace and fill out the relevant tables below. If the entry is an image-only submission, just provide a link to the file page [[:File:LikeThis.png]]. The competition will remain open for two weeks from its start date (December 13th, 2021), after which the page shall be protected and judging will commence (December 28th). The results of this will be announced a week or so after that (around January 5th, 2022).

RULES

  1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to each category of the contest.
  2. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppets are ineligible.

All pieces entered in the competition have to be NEW and ORIGINAL[edit]

Works entered in this competition must be created after the contest's official start date. Image-only submissions and Holiday Animation Festival images must be original works. Either 'shopped to some degree, created entirely by you, or otherwise edited in some meaningful way. Basically, no copyright infringement.

Uhm, what if I have no imaging skillz? You may use other people's images to create either a conceptual template or an article, but remember: “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

 Oscar Wilde

JUDGING - click here for instructions »

  1. Overall Humor – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
  2. Quality of Imagery – As the hilarity of this contest is mostly visual, judges shall decide this field based on their perception of digital imaging skillz. Pornography is frowned upon and will lead to disqualification and a possible ban (this should go without saying).
  3. Concept and Use of Verbiage – Profanity, obscenity, debauchery and lewdness are encouraged, and although there is no discredit for using existing jokes, zany concepts are worth more points.
  4. Originality – Extra points are awarded for style, and flourish, etc. (depending upon the opinions of the judge).

WINNERS

The champion for each category shall be entitled *Holiday Victor*, decorated with the appurtenant award, and is exempt from kissing my ass, your ass, his ass, etc. First and second runners-up shall receive *Kiss My Ass* honoree awards. The entrant with the most points shall be awarded the Grand Prize, the Golden Pile of Potatoes. Zana Dark, is disqualified and removed from this contest due to her recent and widely supported permaban. She will not be celebrated in any way, shape or form.

*Kiss My Ass* Holiday Cards[edit]

CONCEPT

Holiday Greeting Cards date back to the early Egyptian days of writing messages on scrolls of papyrus, and are even predated by the ancient Chinese tradition of exchanging messages of goodwill for the celebration of New Years. The first known Christmas card was recorded in 1611, and was more of a small booklet given to King James VI of Scotland (who was also King James I of England). Holiday cards have since gained their prevalent usage beginning in the 1840s, but were so expensive that most people couldn't afford them.

Snoop.JPG
Merry Chrizzle, Happy Hanukizzle,
and a Kick Ass Kwizzle from Me & Snoop Dizzle!

That's where you come in! You know how to make some pretty sweet images—I mean, you're way better than fucking Hallmark. And now, with the internet, there's no need for expensive printing costs or postage fees! This category is for entries with a Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Wintertime theme.

Entries:[edit]

Entry Username – Comment 
XMyAss.jpg Zana Dark – I hope I'm not the only one that enters, what am I gonna do with all this punch and pie?
Merry Christmas from Your Favorite Jew.png PF4Eva – Mazel tov!
Sorry, I didn't bring an image. But my entry's here. And I brought an image, but I left it in my image box. Tali64^2 - I'm working on something, but I'm too lazy to finish it. UPDATE: I finished it, but now I'm too lazy to update my entry page.
Heaven on Earth 2021 Kakun – That's a card.

Judging:[edit]

Shabidoo[edit]

ShabiDOO 12:39, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Zana Dark
 
StarRating.png

Total: 0
:File:XMyAss.jpg
0
0
0
0
Great effect Disqualified
PF4Eva
 
StarRating.png

Total: 0
:File:Merry Christmas from Your Favorite Jew.png
0
0
0
0
LULZ PF4Eva has decided to withdraw from the contest
Tali64^2
 
StarRating.png

Total: 58
User:Tali64^2/Kiss My Ass
Entry Page
18
15
15
10
DERP!
Kakun
 
StarRating.png

Total: 63
Heaven on Earth 2021
Heaven on Earth 2021
18
10
10
25
High marks for originality (making an article for a card) but it is hard to judge the other judgery.

Top 3[edit]

  1. Kakun
  2. Tali64^2
  3. Betty White

Holiday Animation Festival[edit]

File:Santa disco.gif
Disco Disco

CONCEPT

Time to spruce up the place! Family is coming over, and we can't have just plain, boring, regular old images. More color! More sparkle! Inspired by Adam Sandler's yuletide flop Eight Crazy Nights, this category is for animated images pertaining to all holiday subject matter (not just Hanukkah), especially those deemed to be of "bad taste".

Entries:[edit]

Entry Username – Comment 
Kwanzaa.gif Zana Dark – It's the ghost of Kwanzaa Past from a book by Oscar Wilde I think.

Judging:[edit]

PF4Eva[edit]

Black-2.jpg PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 22:12, 30 December 2021 (UTC)

Zana Dark
 
StarRating.png

Total: 0
:File:Kwanzaa.gif
0
0
0
0
This is actually pretty clever. It's too bad it isn't signed Marjorie Taylor Greene. Disqualified
Shabidoo[edit]

ShabiDOO 12:41, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

Zana Dark
 
StarRating.png

Total: 0
:File:Kwanzaa.gif
0
0
0
0
Disqualified

Top 3[edit]

Since the only entrant is persona non grata and therefore disqualified and banned for life, here are the Top Three

  1. Chuck Jones
  2. Tex Avery
  3. Betty White

The Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer[edit]

File:Anal+blowjob.png
QUALITY is subjective.

CONCEPT

Hey, I don't fucking celebrate Christmas! It's okay, we understand. Pick another day of celebration, any day. This category is designed for over-the-top images that are hilariously bad, often created with MS Paint or hand-drawn, or a holiday-themed article. Your inspiration may be a holiday of any kind, including fictional holidays you made up yourself.

Entries:[edit]

Entry Username – Comment 
Sasquatch Awareness Day.jpg Zana Dark – Sadly, this sale only happens one day a year.
Clark Griswold submission - Ringo Starr art apperication day.png Tsongasman – I do think his art would go along with renaissance artists, really.
SantaHasThreePenises.png Shabidoo – Santa Has Three Penises
NUTCRACKERELF.png Rafruher – A nutcracker doing his work
Kiss My Ass Willy on wheels

Judging:[edit]

PF4Eva[edit]

Black-2.jpg PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 22:13, 30 December 2021 (UTC)

Zana Dark
 
StarRating.png

Total: 0
:File:Sasquatch Awareness Day.jpg
0
0
0
0
"Satchmo? The trumpet player?" "No, the monster!" Disqualified
Tsongasman
 
StarRating.png

Total: 83
:File:Clark Griswold submission - Ringo Starr art apperication day.png
23
16
21
23
"He's not even the best drummer in The Beatles!" - John
Shabidoo
 
StarRating.png

Total: 74
SantaHasThreePenises.png
Entry Page
10
15
24
25
Why does Santa have three penises, and why are they purple? It looks more like purple broccoli to me.
Rafruher
 
StarRating.png

Total: 91
:File:NUTCRACKERELF.png
25
25
16
25
Let's see you do that, Nicolas! :)
Willy on wheels
 
StarRating.png

Total: 35
User:Willy on wheels/Kiss My Ass
Entry Page
5
6
12
12
I didn't get it. Sorry.

Top 3[edit]

  1. Rafruher
  2. Tsongasman
  3. Shabidoo

Questions[edit]


Christmas 2021.jpg
This is the closest thing we have to a family photo. We mostly hate each other.