Forum:Uncyclopedia needs money

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It's okay! We're safe for another month. But you can still donate to help us pay next month's bills. And the month after that, and the month after that, and the month after that....

To be frank, Uncyclopedia is broke. Not like broken, like a machine or something. I mean, it's broken too, but that's a less pressing matter. We don't have enough money to continue paying our hosting bills, and this means that if we don't get enough money soon, Uncyclopedia's server is going to be shut off and it won't be here anymore. Clearly lately there has been no shortage of concern over the well-being and longevity of the website. People care about this place and it would be just terrible if we stopped being around, and we'd like to keep it here.

But, as I said, we need money. It's not within our nature to beg for donations, put ads on Uncyclopedia for the money they bring in, or pander to the part of the internet obsessed with instant-aggregation of vague and popular content that brings in the big bucks. But we need money. So we're asking for your help. The help of the community and of the readers. If you don't have any money to donate, we understand. We sympathize in fact, because neither do we. If we did we'd have donated it, and we wouldn't be in this sticky situation. But if you do have some extra cash laying around, and you enjoy this website and want it to continue, we urge you to please help us in keeping the servers paid for, so that we can live to see another day a few months from now when we've run out of money again.

For those of you not in the know, Uncyclopedia is 100% run, operated and contributed to by unpaid volunteers who do this because they enjoy Uncyclopedia and want it to succeed. Nobody has ever received money for their works on Uncyclopedia, except in a number of contests that we've held in the past awarding 20 dollars to winners for writing excellent comedy voted on by other volunteers. Uncyclopedia is and has always been non-profit, and will continue to be for the forseeable future.

At the present time we don't need very much money. About 80 euros (approximately 110 US dollars, 66 British Pounds, or 600 Danish Krones) within the next five or six days would see to it that we at least prolong our life a bit and we could stop panicking. But in the future we are going to need donations as well. So we encourage you to donate whatever you can, whenever you can, at your own discretion. Every cent we receive goes directly to paying for Uncyclopedia's hosting and it will remain that way as long as we are around. Anything you can give will help.

I'm sorry this post wasn't very funny, but I hope this video of Frasier Crane running with scissors makes up for it.

-RAHB 04:03, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

I donated 100 dollars so you should be mostly ok now. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 04:25, 6 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Whoa, so that finally burst my bubble. I used to wonder how we carried on for so long without any ads. Anyway, I think hosting Wikipedia-style fundraisers will be a necessity, and thanks Llwy for your exemplary generosity. As for me, I'm not financially independent, and to be honest am reluctant to solicit donations from my parents, but I strongly support this website and hope that it can survive for a long, long time. Lord Scofield Stark 11:56, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
I don't see the problem with ads if it keeps us going. Is it being considered? Leverage (talk) 16:20, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
In the past whenever ads were suggested, the typical response from the community has been to adamantly oppose them. Maybe it's time to re-think this policy or maybe not, but in general ads will most likely not be able to cover the entire cost of the server. Every little bit does help, though. -RAHB 20:51, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
Oh and I almost forgot. Thanks to spoony-floor we've now got the site paid for for another month. We're going to need to step up our fundraising efforts this month (ie do any at all) to make sure this doesn't come down to the wire again. Users are encouraged to make banners, posters and the like, and we're planning on starting either a competition or just a general "get out the word" effort, details of which will come soon. -RAHB 20:55, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
I've just been reading this while enjoying a refreshing Boone's Farm beveridge, and I have a distinct issue with advertising being added to a site that solicits (or has solicited) contributions under a non-commercial licence. Given the cross-Wikia advertising was one of the reasons for the fork. Ah - nothing beats a Boone's Farm! Nominally Humane! 09:06 06 Mar
I fail to see how putting advertising on the site to pay for server costs constitutes commercial activity on the part of the website, but yes, I tend to agree that ads are not in our best interests. -RAHB 21:20, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
Wikipedia:Commercial - see first point. But we can save this discussion for another day. How much would you consider selling the domain for? Nominally Humane! 09:28 06 Mar
I'd say about 40 billion dollars is fair. -RAHB 21:30, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
I get the objections to advertising, but I think we have to acknowledge that this is a site trying to keep its head above water, and in my opinion the whole free contributions vs advertising thing doesn't seem to me to be problematic, as it's unlikely that Lyritha will get rich off it. We'd be talking about some of the bills being paid with ads, no profit being made. Leverage (talk) 21:32, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
We'd be talking about entirely paying bills with the ad money even if we made more than we needed for a certain time period. Hosting doesn't stop costing money, and we've already said that any money Uncyclopedia ever receives will only be used to pay for the server or otherwise benefit Uncyclopedia, and no one else. I don't think that's what Puppy was talking about though. -RAHB 22:12, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
FU edit conflict. What RAHB said - the issue is not the profitability of this site. The issue is that this site - and therefore contributions made by editors - would be used to support other commercial enterprises. I doubt this site could ever run donation free, but it should remain ad free. I also have the problem that commercial concerns could put (justifiable) pressure on our content. Having external pressure on content and advertising (albeit to other Wikia sites) were two of the issues raised in the Press release as reasons why the site forked to begin with. Add in technical issues and the only difference between here and Wikia (now the content banner is gone) is that this site would be begging for donations, and running donation drives that include banners that screw up on lower resolution interfaces like mobile devices. Nominally Humane! 07:19 07 Mar
Well...yes, I guess. That kind of makes sense. There are most certainly other differences between here and wikia, both technical and otherwise (psychological?), though, so your conclusion seems a bit of an oversimplification. Btw I do not support ads either for the simple reason that wikipedia doesn't have them (and also I don't like them). – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 07:26, 7 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Broadly simplified. There are definite technical advantages to self-hosting. The 'psychological' issues are more relating to a diminished community, and many established members leaving the site, so that moderating voices suddenly vanished. But while my points are a broad simplification, my main objections are the cosmetic aspect - I hate ads - and that I don't like my work being used for commercial purposes. (With the exception of if someone wanted to pay me for it - that I won't argue with.) Nominally Humane! 07:34 07 Mar
I totally understand the aversion to advertising but we are in a position where we can choose what advertisers and types of advertisements we want (if any). A host like Wikia does not afford this flexibility; Wikia put more pressure on us to alter our content - by which I mean they arbitrarily altered our content - than any collection of potential advertising partners ever could. If we have to seriously consider advertising on this site then it will be brought to a community discussion and vote. But I don't foresee that discussion happening anytime soon. --EMC [TALK] 16:58 Mar 29 2014
Ok - but no - when I said 'psychological differences' I was thinking mainly of Spike and his editing/adminship style. Also I did not say 'issues' because I did not mean issues, I meant differences. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 07:43, 7 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
I assumed so. I was referring to that in my response as well. There's more that I could say, but we'd digress far too far from topic. Nominally Humane! 07:53 07 Mar
SPIKE is just one user and is not at all part of the reason we left Wikia. He wasn't even an administrator at the time. This also isn't the place for this discussion, but feel free to do it over in that other forum that's linked here somewhere. -RAHB 08:01, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
No I know, just saying it's a difference. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 08:27, 7 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Did you ask Doctor Evil? From what I understand, he'll donate...one million dollars. Yes, I'm topical, with my finger on the pulse of what's hip and cool these days. And also I gave some money. It's only money, right? Sure, I can't get my brain medicine now, but the steadily-louder voices are telling me everything will be fine, and also that I should smear peanut butter all over my naked body and go running around the neighborhood. At least it's peanut butter this time. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:02, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

And speaking of currency conversions....

We gotta need 800 quadrillion Zimbabwean dollars to keep this running.

But wait, there's more!

Why not we do a referral program? GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 10:33, 20 March 2014 (UTC)

Because not us does a referral program. (Why are we speaking this way?) Nominally Humane! 10:37 20 Mar

Space Pirate Ninja from 4096AD

I donated $5 even if I've been out of work since 2002. I figure it is the least I could do. I'm still sick, but once I found out you needed money, I decided to give at least $5 to help out. Use it wisely, don't buy beer and get drunk on it like all of the other homeless bums I donate to. :) Orion Blastar (talk) 03:28, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

Cool dude. Get well, get well soon...[voice trails off]... ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Mar 29 '14 17:20 (UTC)

Late comment

If this month's server expenses have been covered, why didn't you take down the donations banner? Obviously you're going to have bills to pay for next month... and the one after that... and the one after that. Does that mean that for as long Uncyclopedia's server is up, people coming here for the first time are going to have to confront the annoying donation banners? Come on guys, show some decency, even Wikipedia doesn't leave them on for this long. --Mimo&maxus 13:39, 6 April 2014 (UTC)

Good point, something to think about. I was half wondering that myself a little maybe but didn't ever bother putting it into words. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 15:22, 6 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Can't. It takes donations to take down the donations banner. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:35, 6 April 2014 (UTC)
And, like I said, Uncyclopedia will always be in need of donations. You're telling me this is going to stay there forever? --Mimo&maxus 20:11, 6 April 2014 (UTC)
Not if you close it. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 20:44, 6 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

“If you want a vision of the future, imagine a donation banner stomping on the main page of Uncyclopedia, forever.”

~ Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! on Uncyclopedia
Can't we maybe take it down a little if we get enough money at some point? Not permanently of course, but just a little now and then. It's not impossible, or shouldn't be, in spite of what this rather stupid unnews claims. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 21:00, 6 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
It was set to turn off on the 9th of this month. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Apr 6 '14 21:18 (UTC)
Ok. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 21:23, 6 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia