Go away.

“let's rape No_one_at_all”

~ derpyy on raping No_one_at_all

Support for a "Post-Uncyclopedia" contact project?

This could be as easy as a forum list where people say what other websites they frequent or whatever. All voluntary information shared only, of course.

I just think it would be helpful to have some sort of informal database for other ways to contact folks without having to go through Uncyc. Since, well, the site isn't exactly the bustling community it once was.

Basically, I miss you. --Argylesocks (talk) 07:57, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

Dude pull your pants up and zip up. Unless you have tits, we're not gonna fuck.

But yeah, sure, a forum like that sounds nice. I personally ain't active on any other sites (except maybe Imgur, and that's only so I can get enough points to be able to tag images, at which point I will tag them "poopdick"). If I'm not here, I'm on IRC. If I'm not on IRC, I'm asleep, dead or sitting in a clock tower with a rifle. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jul 7 '15 13:31 (UTC)

Stupid boobs thing on the front page

This site has become ridiculously cheap. Not too interested in coming back to this juvenile shit. Mattsnow 05:50, 13 July 2015 (UTC)

Well, fuck my cock. Don't blame me for boobs. I haven't been to the front page in about 18 months. I think there just haven't been any featured articles recently, so somebody put boobs there in their place. Brb, investigating whodunnit. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jul 13 '15 5:59 (UTC)

No thanks re: cock. How are you? :) Mattsnow 06:04, 13 July 2015 (UTC)

Me? I'm ...tell you what, I'll just lie and say I'M GODDAMN GREAT. GREAT TO SEE YA! HOW'S THE FAMILY? More importantly, have the police found where you buried them yet? Also, how's Canada? Still where I left it?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jul 13 '15 6:07 (UTC)

Great to know you're doing awful :) Canada is still the pile of shit you left it to be. I remember the good old days before you came all over it :) Mattsnow 06:09, 13 July 2015 (UTC)

I was only six years old, so I think I did a pretty damn good job ...for a six-year-old. By the way, it looks like it was Leverage wot done the front page up. 'Smatter, you don't like boob?  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jul 13 '15 6:14 (UTC)

What do you mean? There's always boobs on the main page on my computer screen. Oh, that's just because I lean forward too far. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:26, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

Free ad extension

You have until July 31! See Forum:Want to place an ad for free? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:24, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

Boring, but

any idea why our Special:Upload page scrolls down to description? Any way to stop that ? --Leverage (talk) 11:43, 8 August 2015 (UTC)

Doesn't do it for me. :\  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Aug 8 '15 18:58 (UTC)

Seems to do it on chrome on windows and mac. IE is ok, dont know about safari. --Leverage (talk) 19:14, 8 August 2015 (UTC)

Could you maybe record it in action using CamStudioPortable? I tried it on Firefox, Chrome and IronBrowser under Windows Server 2012 and Windows 7, and Firefox and Chromium on Arch and Mint.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Aug 9 '15 3:34 (UTC)

I downloaded the program, but it made me want to pull my face off (executed in Downloads (!), fiddly interface made me do it three times, massive AVI file produced for 30 second video, only playing in program's media player). When I am at home on my lovely mac with my lovely quickplayer I will do one for you. TBH now that I removed all the text from the page, it's not such a bug bear, cos I can just press the up arrow or whatever. I will report back in 5 days or so. --Leverage (talk) 09:57, 9 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for checking it in a dizzying number of browsers btw. And one more thing - the shop link seems to be down, right? is it easy to take it out of the main sidebar, or at least change the link to a "coming soon" page? --Leverage (talk) 12:21, 9 August 2015 (UTC)

The shop isn't supposed to be down. I'll check into that immediately. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Aug 10 '15 3:36 (UTC)

User talk:84.93.38.142

Could you, please, review your block of this IP? His only edit seems to have been to revert Colin's edit to EMC's userpage. Anton (talk) 08:07, 11 August 2015 (UTC)

I think BB will agree to this ban being lifted, which I will do now. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?)B 08:17, 11 August 2015 (UTC)

Yeah, I blocked it as a joke, and forgot to unblock. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Aug 11 '15 23:56 (UTC)

Sorry for an unnecessary QVFD gadget alert, by the way! It wasn't working for me and Cat earlier today and I don't know what happened or who did what, but it seems alright now. Anton (talk) 00:18, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

That's ok, something was definitely wrong. Mr-Ex alerted me, too. Not sure what happened; I didn't fix anything.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Aug 12 '15 1:11 (UTC)

Re: editing in userspace

First, I found the page you were looking for, which is MediaWiki:Newarticletext. Then I copied the source to my userspace and applied the necessary changes. There shouldn't be any controversy about them and User:Anton199/Newarticletext is supposed to work. Could you please review what I've done and then perhaps replace the MediaWiki with my version (if mine works)? I didn't apply any major changes, but I did (1) rewrite a small bit which was quite condescending to new users without changing the meaning of the advise and (2) add a phrase advising users to write in their userspace, which will only display if they are not writing in their userspace. Anton (talk) 16:51, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

Actually, I also changed an external link to an inter-wiki link, which is a small (3). Anton (talk) 16:57, 12 August 2015 (UTC)

I made some technical changes, including changing the link so that it automatically points to an edit page, and also changed the order of the items. I also put back the "how to be funny" (in favor of "how to write humour") because I like how it sounds. Let me know what you think, and if you like it, I'll toss it into MediaWiki:Newarticletext.

P.S.: Thanks for searching out the proper MediaWiki message. I would gotten around to looking for it... next year. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Aug 13 '15 1:43 (UTC)

Thanks! It's great and clean. "Some tips on how to be funny" is fine, and it's better than "to learn what funny is". I tested the bit about userspace and all links seem to work perfectly, so I think you can toss it into MediaWiki:Newarticletext. Anton (talk) 08:05, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

I am actually thinking: seeing we've got a site notice for registered users as well as MediaWiki:Anonnotice, maybe we should make a special newarticletext page for anons only? Because anons don't get userspace and instead a phrase about how great it would be if they created an account seems appropriate. Anton (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

Sounds good. Let me know when you're done tweaking that page, and I'll toss it up. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Aug 13 '15 8:42 (UTC)

Is it possible to make the same page display one way for registered users and another way for anons? Or should two different pages be created for the purpose? Anton (talk) 12:07, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

Not sure. I will get back to you. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Aug 13 '15 23:42 (UTC)

Done. Here's the page that's supposed to be for anons. Now, what needs to be done is to make the first one display for all registered users and this one for IPs. I have no idea how to do it, though. Anton (talk) 21:45, 18 August 2015 (UTC)

Ok. Give me another day or so and I'll sort it out. I'm lazy. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Aug 23 '15 9:13 (UTC)

In case you haven't ragequit because of admin laziness, I thought I'd stop here to mention that I'm still looking into this message for new users. It'll get done some day. Maybe. Probably. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Sep 17 '15 4:22 (UTC)

IRC

Hi BB, I don't know what's happening but I'm banned from IRC again. I'd be really grateful if you could investigate that. Anton (talk) 17:04, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

I ended up joining the chat through the web-based client and it worked for a while, but then I lost the connection and when I tried to reconnect to it, the web-based thing said I was banned. Very strange... Anton (talk) 17:13, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

It seems to be ok now, sorry. Anton (talk) 18:02, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

Flash Doodles

Can we add a "play" button overlay to cover the center area of the Flash movie, as well as explaining how I add a preview image or something. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I'm on it. Gimme a day or so and it should be working properly. Poke me if I forget. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Aug 23 '15 9:12 (UTC)

You had me at "poke".... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

So uh something like this maybe?

Embedded Flash object (requires Javascript)

• Disable
• Enable all
• Disable all
• Always enable
• Always disable

 ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Aug 26 '15 18:45 (UTC)

HELP

Could you please help me out with Template:Infobox musical artist? The formatting is fucked, could you bring it "in-line" with the one on Wikipedia?--EpicWinner (talk) 16:10, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

Sure, but it may take a day or two before I get around to it. I have no idea what's wrong with it. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Aug 26 '15 17:24 (UTC)

Thumb-sucker

Thanks BB! Anton (talk) 20:56, 7 September 2015 (UTC)

No prob. I'll eventually get to the two things up above. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Sep 7 '15 23:48 (UTC)

Poll dancing

Is there any way to make the poll extension open to IPs? Currently on pages like HowTo:Install_a_ceiling_fan_without_getting_your_dick_stuck_in_it it says "you are not entitled to vote" to all anonymous users. Leverage (talk) 14:31, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Open for both viewing and voting? Or just viewing? I can set it so it's either or both. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Sep 17 '15 4:16 (UTC)

I set it for both. Thanks for the read. However, instructions were somewhat unclear, and I now apparently have my vagina stuck in the ceiling fan? Awaiting further instructions. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Sep 17 '15 4:21 (UTC)

Both was the right call - why be exclusive about a silly poll? In other news, if your vagina is stuck in a ceiling fan, does that mean you have a busy beaver? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA 07:39, 17 September 2015 (UTC) – Preceding unsigned comment added by Leverage (talk • contribs)

http://thatsthejoke.net  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Sep 17 '15 9:24 (UTC)

A favor

Any chance you can help me with some javascript (or know someone who can)? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:57, 2 October 2015

Nevermind, lol I fixed it. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 12:14, 2 October 2015

Oops, I didn't get an email notification... that's weird. I'm glad you solved your problem, though. You can ask me for coding help any time. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Oct 4 '15 6:59 (UTC)

Hello

Hi - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?)B 16:28, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Answer me damn it - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?)B 16:36, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:35, 7 October 2015

Hey yourself.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Oct 7 '15 21:44 (UTC)

External Link Forum Topic

It's located here for redundancy. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 22:34, 12 October 2015

I'm back!

I'm back... sort of. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 14:00, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi!

Yeah, I may appear to be inactive based on my talk page, but I generally reply to people on their own talk pages... in reality I am probably here way too much! Glad you liked the Rosh Hashanah and Alexander Shulgin articles; I was wondering if anyone did. I like what you did with the latter. Thanks! Kazimiera (talk) 08:21, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

You're welcome. (Also, it's generally the convention to keep conversations in one place, although, of course, then people can miss replies.) Anyway, please keep up the good work, and if you need any help with coding or administrative stuff or images or whatever, feel free to ask anybody who's active. Or me. Either one. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Oct 27 '15 8:27 (UTC)

Hallow-weenie

Nice work, brah. Leverage (talk) 08:27, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Why thank you most spiffingly, old bean. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Oct 31 '15 8:47 (UTC)

Email me already? (User page hist) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:48, 31 October 2015

Done. Service quick enough for ya? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Oct 31 '15 18:49 (UTC)

I didn't get your email, I think we're being hacked. Text me? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 01:07, 1 November 2015

Looks like our firewall was blocking stuff. Should be fixed nao. Check ur inbox. If no email, will take hammer to server. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Nov 1 '15 5:11 (UTC)

But are you getting my emails? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:13, 1 November 2015

Opinions

I personally think my Cheap Trick can be moved into my userspace, but I think Hong Kong 97 is good enough to be on it's own. Thanks for an opinion.--Ketchup Boss has a openly gay crush on Bertie Wooster (talk) 21:35, 1 November 2015 (UTC)

Sorry if I pissed you off or hurt your feelings with my VFD nominations, but I feel that neither of those articles is ready for prime time. And I prefer blunt honesty over all else, except maybe inaction. (Inaction is excellent. I like inaction.) Seriously, though, in the future, please create articles in your userspace and then ask somebody else before moving them to mainspace. I'd recommend a pee review, but that place is dead. >_<  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Nov 1 '15 21:42 (UTC)

External links

Thanks for fixing the external links thing. – roza (talk ☭ ctbs ☭ log) 23:52, 23 November 2015 (UTC)

No problem; happy to help. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 24 '15 3:38 (UTC)

Photoshopping

I'd like to make a request. For the Sega Genesis article, would it be possible for you to Photoshop a picture of a Genesis with the color pattern of Genesis' Abacab, rather than the plain black look? That would be really funny to me.--EpicWinner (talk) 08:14, 2 December 2015 (UTC)

I recommend you use these two images:

Purple flurries

First...I'm mildly aroused to see your presence here. Second...come have a go at here. We need three more folks. Finally...I have this throbbing feeling in my inner thigh...do you know what I can do to get rid of it (or make it feel even better)? ShabiDOO 12:58, 28 May 2016 (UTC)

Re: Yay!!!

Thank you. Kazimiera (talk) 14:27, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

How is this website doing? I used to write here a bit...

Sorry to bother you but I was hoping you'd take the time to tell me a bit about how the website is doing. I heard there was a split in 2013 and I see there's no featured article today. Is this website still relatively active? Could you tell me a bit about what it's been like over the last few years? I had a featured article in 2008 so I've been out of the loop.

Much love, Chris

We're still here, stuff happens, and the funny still flows... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Hey Chris, welcome back! August is the quietest time of year, because many Uncyclopedians are forced to attend remedial classes and/or fat camp, but there are still some old faces knocking around and the occasional Noob. We have a harder time attracting new people than the Wikia site, because that still comes out very high in google searches, but on the plus side we don't have people reverting or editing your every move wang move wang move wang. Leverage (talk) 10:30, 13 September 2016 (UTC)

Hi guys! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Sep 20 '16 0:08 (UTC)

I heard there was a sausagefest going on around here. Am I late? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 08:05, 20 September 2016 (UTC)

- B@NZai k!tten (Meow?)B 12:00, 20 September 2016 (UTC)

I love mine thick and meaty... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Just a quick question

Your mother jerks off pigs. She gets down on her knees and crawls through the pigpiss mud slop and snuggles up to the pig, her fingers tracing along it's belly until she finds it's cock. She begins tugging and stroking as her twat moistens, her breasts swelling and her nipples begin to stick out like erasers on a fresh #2 pencil. She grunts with satisfaction as the pig begins eagerly thrusting into her hand, her grip now tightening to maintain control of the pig's greasy corkscrew cock. She lowers her head to watch the cock work in her hand, groans with satisfaction and begins working her clit with her other muddy hand, her hips gyrating with the rhythm of the pig's thrusting. "Oh fucking jesus god yes.." she gasps. She changes positions, still maintaining control of the feverishly thrusting cock as the pig's squealing intensifies. She leans forward and with her lips almost touching the pig's ear, she whispers your name and begins to shudder. She turns her attention again to the pigs swollen member rocking in her hand. She presses it between her hand and her face, the pig thrusting it against her cheeks as she drools. With a massive grunt and a high pitched squeal, the pig's balls explode, beginning a massive shower of hot, sour pig jizz. You mother cups one hand under the fountain of steaming genetic material gathering it in her hand as the thrusting comes to an end. The pig shudders and begins to walk to the trough of slop in the corner of it's pen, but your mother tackles it to the ground. She lifts it's tail and smears the handful of pig load into the pig's own fetid butthole, turning flakes of crusty pig shit into a pigshit-pigjizz mud slop on the pigs ass. Now she tilts her head to the sky and screams your name, not once, not twice, but three times. She slams her face full force into the pig's butthole and it's wreath of shitsemen pudding, her tongue machine gun flicking the rim and then burying itself to the hilt inside the pig's hot colon. Your mother works her tongue around the inside of the pigs ass, and then as a few incoherent syllables escaped her now brown lips, spurts of female ejaculate spurt from her pulsating cunt. Exhausted, she collapses in the mud, rolls over onto her back, and lights a cigarette. She takes one long drag, looks again to the sky, and speaks your name one last time before she drifts off to sleep. That's your mom. Your mom does that. 51.255.202.66 (talk) 23:06, 4 October 2016 (UTC)

It's not pigs you smegma receptacle. It's cows. Jesus. Get your fags straight. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Oct 5 '16 2:00 (UTC)

What despicable use of the English language: there was no question. Leverage (talk) 13:50, 6 October 2016 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for fixing bugs. It's good you do this for free or else we'd all owe you lots of money. – roza (talk ☭ ctbs ☭ log) 00:33, 10 April 2017 (UTC)

So, you operates abusefilter? F1CK Y0U B4ST3RD!!!

You br34k my b4lls! I cannot into vandalizings uncy because yor f1ck1ngs bot is br3ak1ng my b4lls! Delete abusefilter or i'll p00p inside uncy. Hue hue hue. --Sweetie Tootie Poochie Lolly Cherry Merry Muffin (talk) 01:04, 13 January 2018 (UTC)

If you learned to spell with letters instead of numbers, I might have a single clue what you just said. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Jan 18 '18 4:54 (UTC)

Asking for your opinion on a forum to combat spammers

Hi, I'm here to tell you that I've created a forum with an idea to combat spammers, and Leverage told me that I should ask for your opinion. So could you join the forum linked above? Thanks.--The Pioneer 06:27, 6 July 2018 (UTC)

HEllo

Do you notified? -— Lyrithya ༆ 05:50, 12 January 2019 (UTC)

I'm helping -- The Zombiebaron 05:54, 12 January 2019 (UTC)

YES THANK YOU FOR THE NOTIFICATIONS 05:58, 12 January 2019 (UTC)~~

Progress Report?

Hi Bizzeebeever. I am just checking as regards the agreed back up on Uncyclomedia of Unc-Wikia (AKA The Spoon). I guess you're also at UnMeta so will leave a message there too. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:32, 2 April 2019 (UTC)

I guess not unless you have a different moniker on UnMeta. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:36, 2 April 2019 (UTC)

Hi Rom, last time I talked to the guys on Discord in charge of this site, they hadn't heard from BB in literally months. FYI. Bizzeebeever, if you are reading this, please let us know you are still alive and on this planet. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:48, 4 August 2019 (UTC)

Unfortunately, we can confirm that Bizzeebeever has passed away. He fell off a ski lift, and then an errant ski pole hit him right in the eye with enough force as to separate his head from his body. Here is an illustration. – roza^☭ 10:59, 5 August 2019 (UTC)

May his bashed in head and missing eye forever rest in peace. ShabiDOO 23:49, 6 August 2019 (UTC)

Go eat shit fuckers. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Sep 2 '19 23:31 (UTC)

By which I meant "hi". ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Sep 2 '19 23:36 (UTC)

Hi Bizzeebeever! Long time no see! Some of us were thinking of buying floral funeral arrangements to put on your unmarked grave. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 16:57, 4 September 2019 (UTC)

HEY BURSZEBIEVE

I'VE HEARD SOME GREAT AND GOOL GUY CALLED WODUBIRNOIN CALLING YOU SOME SWEET SLURST LIKE DUMB AND UNCOOL BRO. HOW DO YOU RESPEOND, KNOWING THAT HE'S RIGHT AND YOU DO ACTUALLY BE BAD AT BINENG NOT DUMB. 02:50, 21 September 2019 (UTC) TILDE

Happy Monkey Competition 2021

Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:55, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

I heard you were dead

So it's the perfect time for a mixtape...

SIDE______________________________
__________________________________

Queens of the Stone Age
Megadeth      Barbra Streisand

B

Songs for the Dead      

888

I hope I got all your favorites.  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 05:00, 23 September 2021

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?

Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:08, 24 December 2021

Merry Christmas and all that jazz

Santa Baby… Wishing you & yours a Happy Holidays & a Zana Christmas.

I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes. Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram. Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue. Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup.

Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there? Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night. I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton. Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill…

 –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:08, 24 December 2021