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User talk:Bizzeebeever/5

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Who said I was out?! That was supposed to be a secret...

It's like looking at your life and saying, yeah... This is the best I can do. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  05:44, 28 November 2013 (UTC)
I know, you are sitting there at the computer thinking you just came up with something pretty unique. But damn it if I don't have a picture of almost exactly what you are talking about. I know, they all ask me. HOW DOES HE DO IT? The answer is a three parter: 1. Longevity. 2. Gumption. 3. A crippling physical deformity, and a lifelong battle with a sodium deficiency, what some insiders are calling "The Cancer of the 21st century.". All I ask for is your pity. And the money. I need that too. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  06:12, 28 November 2013 (UTC)
First of all, BOOM! Totally worth the wait. Secondly, who's fault is it really that I can't upload images with my mobile device, Mr. Website Man Man, hmmm? The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  00:47, 4 December 2013 (UTC)
Jareth, that cheap whore, laying on Jim, the old polar bear. This is what you meant, right? The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  23:52, 7 December 2013 (UTC)

I remember now!

Do you recall when we were talking about the inability to upload via mobile, and we discussed a way to upload via sideload via flickr? Great times! Surprisingly though, that little gem of an idea didn't translate well when hosted on a new server, as the ability to sideload via flickr vanished. Of course if someone were to go into LocalSettings.php, set $wgAllowCopyUploads = true;, and add $wgGroupPermissions['autoconfirmed']['upload_by_url'] = true; this would add in that functionality. And then people who edit via mobile devices would be able to upload images. Nominally Humane! 12:39 01 Dec

Well, it's enabled now for rollbackers, although the implementation is buggy. (The preview function insists on populating the filename box with "Url", and then telling you "A file with a similar name exists already!".) As long as you set your own filename, it works fine. I'm working on fixing the bug. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Dec 1 '13 6:52 (UTC)
Brilliant work! And here's a gift to get you into the holiday spirit. Nominally Humane! 11:08 01 Dec

Da Troublemakers

Hi! You made such a nice comment about the Stanley Kubrick page that I'm wondering if you think you voted by didn't. It's stuck on the on-the-ledge number of four votes, fine if you've dining out with the voters but a little low for anything meaningful. Thanks! And did the Peter Falk voice carry you through most of it? I imagine Fadda Murphy as more of a heavy-voiced Italian mafia guy, workin fer da church, who's not very smart but must have been in the right place at the right time in his career to make it so high up in the Vatican. On the Kubrick page he has memories of Kubrick banging teen actresses, and that's what he focused on, and missed all the genius working around him which I attempt to get in the page by having him ramble on about the director and his movies. The key portion may be Meryl Streep's question, which seems to be a good summary of Kubrick's movie and career arc, and "Da Troublemakers" section to give the catholic child abuse horrors another spin. Thanks Aleister 12:17 2-12-13

Hey Bizzeebeever

Quick question. Have you seen my lesbian giraffe anywhere? I've looked everywhere and simply cannot find her. I miss her already. If be on the lookout my dear friend. --ShabiDOO 18:39, 2 December 2013 (UTC)

I did see a bisexual gazelle... ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Dec 4 '13 11:27 (UTC)
Did you hit on him/her? --ShabiDOO 02:34, 5 December 2013 (UTC)

Archive box

Any idea why it says 1, 2, 8 and 3 rather than 1, 2, 3 and 4? 02:24, 5 December 2013 (UTC)

And did you know it won't expand on iDevices? (Although {{fakelink}} on sigexpand stuff will make it work.) Nominally Humane! 03:05 05 Dec
It says 1, 2, 8, and 3 because I'm funny.
And I thought I'd fixed sigexpand with a :focus rule. >_<  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 3:52 (UTC)
No mouse means no hover, but buggered if I know how focus works on an iDevice. With link added it will give first click will expand, and second will open. Fakelink will treat it as a link in regards to how the expand works. Nominally Humane! 04:56 05 Dec
Generally "focus" means something which is focusable is focused, i.e., clicked-on. Try clicking on it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 6:17 (UTC)
Tried again with no joy. I'll try it again later, as it may not recognise whatever you did to common.css until it updates or whatever it does. The “share” tab does work though.
As an aside, this refers to an alternate site. While there may not be the budget to build an iDevice app from the ground up, convincing the creator of this to direct to here may be viable. It does crack the sads when it comes across the links in your share tab, which makes it a nightmare to use even for the current site it displays, and it work allow native editing or history views, but it's an option. (Given I'm the only person I know who edits primarily via an iDevice, I figured I may be the only one to have discovered this.) Nominally Humane! 07:05 05 Dec
Wow that auto-complete didn't mangle your sentence beyond all comprehension at all. I'm gonna go right out and buy an iPhone 5C RAYT NAO  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 7:37 (UTC)
There's also the “write madly while on a smoke break” factor to add in there. Nominally Humane! 09:51 05 Dec
Whenever you have time again, do me a favor and do a hard refresh of your browser, then tell me if the :focus rule I added did anything. Also, cigarettes kill. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 10:03 (UTC)
No difference, except for the logging me out. Nominally Humane! 11:58 05 Dec
I think it may be unsolvable. A quick search came up with this which shows that it appears to happen on other sites as well. This example expands, but this example doesn't. And it's your fault for making me think cig expand all the time. Nominally Humane! 12:08 05 Dec
You know, funny story, but {{Fakelink}} doesn't use any special HTML. It doesn't use an anchor tag or anything. So I'm a bit baffled by this. Both should work just fine. I have an idea, though: tell me if either of these expand:
  • One bright day in the middle of the night...
  • Two dead boys got up to fight.
 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 12:25 (UTC)
And the winner is cursor: pointer. Title does nothing - I can't even view titles from here. Nominally Humane! 01:24 05 Dec
So now I know iOS Safari regards things with cursor rules as "focussable". How ...very special. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 13:28 (UTC)
Yo dude, I have an idea. Try adding this to your user-js:
$( document ).on( 'touchstart', '.sigexpand', function(){} ).on( 'touchend', '.sigexpand', function(){} ).on( 'click', '.sigexpand', function(){} );
Then do a hard-refresh and let me know what happens. (I'm hoping it fixes the sigexpand for touch-enabled devices.)  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 5 '13 13:43 (UTC)
It sort of works. A click will display, but it then hides again almost immediately and then displays again. I haven't had if give any other issues on the site, but I'm going to just browse around a bit and see if anything squirrelly comes out. Nominally Humane! 12:35 06 Dec
Ah - links in the newly displayed section are funky. It will recognise it as a link, a single click won't open it, and click and hold comes up with the normal dialog box (open/open new tab/add to reading list). Open new tab works, but open doesn't. Almost as though as soon as you've told it to open it navigates its way back. Nominally Humane! 12:40 06 Dec
Ok, I'll have to get an iOS emulator and check this behavior out myself. You're using Safari on the latest iOS, I guess? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Dec 6 '13 1:58 (UTC)
Missed that last response. Either using Safari or Chrome for iOS - I tend to alternate as Chrome has a far better “full page” function. Responses on either are similar though. Nominally Humane! 09:12 06 Jan
What were we even talking about? You're gonna make me re-read this section again, aren't you? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Jan 6 '14 21:16 (UTC)
Can you just add a cursor style to sigexpand? Seems the easiest fix to me. Nominally Humane! 09:33 06 Jan
Yeah, I guess. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jan 7 '14 9:12 (UTC)
By the way - that works. Nominally Humane! 12:55, 23 January 2014 (UTC)

How to Cure Vaginal Infections Without Using Medications

Hey. Just wanted to let you know I nominated you for UOTM. Looks like you're not hated by everyone! Also, I love you. --Mimo&maxus 21:14, 5 December 2013 (UTC)

Yay! I'll show this to my mother. Maybe she'll let me out of the cellar for a few minutes this week. Please, mother! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Dec 6 '13 1:58 (UTC)


Looks to me like someone got the passwords for Mr Zuckerberg's website. Any chance of putting that brain article I did on there? That was kind of why I designed it. I think it's good you're pushing the horoscopes. They - and any other little "look and laugh" titbits - are what the social networking pages should be about. We can't expect people to wade through a whole article, but pictures, quotes, news headlines, etc are much more likely to be shared and commented on! . Leverage (talk) 17:52, 9 December 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm not the one who handles the social media stuff (which is probably good, because I hate twitter and I want to personally destroy facebook). Hotadmin4u69 is the guy who handles it. Which is great, because he's never around. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 9 '13 18:03 (UTC)
And it just so happens he's around today on IRC! Who knew.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 9 '13 18:05 (UTC)
Weird. I assumed it was you! He posted a horoscope thing I write which you pmed me about back in the day. Leverage (talk) 18:20, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
"Who on Earth is sending the other one?" I remember now. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 9 '13 19:04 (UTC)
Your article got two "like"s in two minutes. I'm pissed off now. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 9 '13 19:11 (UTC)
All good traffic my boy. How else are we going to fight the Google-backed Wikia kids? Leverage (talk) 20:03, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
I was thinking "bricks" and "socks full of pennies" and "chains". But then again, they have Thompson machine guns.

Maybe I shouldn't be in charge of fight strategy. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 9 '13 20:05 (UTC)


Can you please...? -- IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 00:14, 16 December 2013 (UTC)

Sure, but I have no idea what or how. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 16 '13 0:15 (UTC)

Hi Bizzeebeever

Recently I tried to log in as B222 after 4½ years of inactivity (see Special:Contributions/b222) but I got a message stating that no such account existed. After trying to report the issue, my IP was blocked indefinitely, perhaps because I included an external link to my Wikipedia talk page wp:user talk:b222.

Could you help me to fix the problem or advise me what to do now? I will check this page every now and then. You will also find a heading wp:user talk:b222#Uncyclopedia where you can communicate, if necessary. Thx, B222

Are you able to log into your account on the old Wikia site? We moved, but Wikia kept the old site open (obviously). If you can log in there and leave a message on your user-page, I can have somebody set up your account here for you. (Unfortunately, because Wikia doesn't allow wikis that leave them to have a copy of their own user table, we are forced to use a special extension.) In the meantime, if you are able to log into your account on the old site, I would recommend trying again here. It might work. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Dec 25 '13 11:39 (UTC)
I tried, but the site claimed my password to be wrong, so I requested a new one. Then the site claimed to have sent one in the last 24 hours, but I did not receive any in the inboxes or spam folders of my primary addresses. If there is no easy way to reclaim the account, I will make another one, it's not such a big deal. Having my IP unblocked was the real issue. 12:34, 25 December 2013 (UTC)
Ok, and just to be sure, did you do the password-reset on the Wikia site, or here? You needed to try it on the Wikia site. (Doesn't really matter, I guess; I'm rather sure you're who you say you are. :D ) At any rate, I will see if I can get one of the other admins to set your account up for you. It may take a day or so.
As for the ban, it was lowered to a week by Frosty, who didn't check to see why the AbuseFilter banned you, and that week is already up, so... no harm no foul, I guess?  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Dec 25 '13 12:43 (UTC)
It's quite interesting to find my identity awol and getting banned for it. Good article stuff. :D Happy holidays! 13:13, 25 December 2013 (UTC)
Yeah I think Kafka wrote something like this. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Dec 25 '13 14:35 (UTC)


Can you please...? --ShabiDOO 07:41, 26 December 2013 (UTC)

On...?  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 26 '13 8:27 (UTC)
Would you…? Nominally Humane! 09:55 26 Dec
First ya gotta do the Truffle Shuffle. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 26 '13 10:14 (UTC)
Pretty please...?
No!.png ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 26 '13 11:00 (UTC)
You need to be more definite. Stop this errant vacillation. Nominally Humane! 11:36 26 Dec
Ride my wiener. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Dec 26 '13 11:55 (UTC)

Hey ho!

I wish you a very happy holiday season too, I'm doing good. Your wishes are very well appreciated. I think I'll write something soon, I have not forgotten about the elephant pic you shopped for me :) Talk Mattsnow 01:40, 29 December 2013 (UTC)

Thank you

For help with that block. I'm trying to create a real humour article but it is not simple to find the humour "codes" in a language different from my own one. So I structured the article on my page to give it a form and later to translate and eventually to edit. Well, to avoid any confusion I created my sandbox forming a real user page. Thanx again for help. Yes I like it too. --Dr. Ján Ĩtor I Presume 16:22, 29 December 2013 (UTC)


So you kept your word. You'd think I'd have noticed without checking recent changes, but apparently I took more than 30 seconds to make my edit. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia 20:49, 6 January 2014 (UTC)

Mess with the bull... ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Jan 6 '14 20:51 (UTC)
See? What did I tell you? Bizzeebeever gives out bans like a pedophile gives out candy. I've had it with this ban-throwing, men-loving Hitler! Kill the tyrant! --Mimo&maxus 20:58, 6 January 2014 (UTC)
Keep talkin like that and you'll get 61 seconds, next time, fool. I don't bring knives to gunfights. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Jan 6 '14 21:01 (UTC)
30 second blocks you just have to laugh at, whether or not there was a real reason. IMHO anyway. 1 minute blocks too. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia 21:01, 6 January 2014 (UTC)
All fun and games until someone gets a 61 second ban. Nominally Humane! 09:14 06 Jan
That's how it starts... First it's 30 seconds and a minute and then ,before you know it, you're being banned for 61 seconds just for calling someone names! I'm telling you man, we gotta deal with him soon! You do not want to go through a Bizzeebeever monarchy! Trust me... I know... --Mimo&maxus 21:16, 6 January 2014 (UTC)
I still have stains on the ceiling from the last one. Nominally Humane! 09:36 06 Jan


Would it be somehow possible to insert some magic into the QVFD scripts so that when someone adds something to QVFD via the QVFD gadget and a header for that particular day does not yet exist it creates it automatically? Because yeah people don't make headers and QVFD becomes a mess. RAHB will blow you if you make this happen, I promise. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 03:23, 7 January 2014 (UTC)

What if a header exists but it's a previous date? I only ask because unless you have a specific pattern for the format of the header (ie "dd-mm-yyyy *") you'll end up adding things to the wrong date, which is the position we're in currently. And do we have to be date specific on these? Nominally Humane! 03:38 07 Jan
I think Bizzee and I already discussed this here. Having it make a new header automatically should be doable, though. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia 03:40, 7 January 2014 (UTC)
I mean if say a January 7th header was there but it was January 8th and something got added would it be possible for the script to "think" hang on, it's the 8th not the 7th and create a new header for the 8th and file the entry under the new header. This is my attempt to clarity yeah ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 03:45, 7 January 2014 (UTC)
Oh...we did discuss this. I asked him if it could automatically make a new header when a new day started, and he explained that it was too hard for it to detect anything based on the existing headers, as it would have to decide if the existing top header matched the current date. People add silly stuff to the headers, etc. So that looks like it's a no go. But if there aren't yet any sections on the page, it should be able to add one. What do you say, Bizzeebeever? – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia 03:49, 7 January 2014 (UTC)
Regexp? Nominally Humane! 04:39 07 Jan
@Llwy: that's not a bad idea. @Puppy: when a programmer has a problem, he thinks "I'll use a regular expression." Then he has two problems. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jan 7 '14 9:11 (UTC)

Why is the sky blue?

And why is the UnNews banner yellow? I just noticed Wikinews is now blue. Is it easy to change? Does it have to be an admin who does it, or can you push me in the right direction, like Dustin Hoffman in Kramer vs Kramer? Leverage (talk) 19:18, 8 January 2014 (UTC)

I always thought it was yellow to match our journalism.
But yeah, it's not very easy to change. I think ya gotta change either the unnews main page or else a css file somewhere. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jan 8 '14 19:28 (UTC)


You mentioned you read the Stanley Kubrick page in Peter Falk's voice (wearing his trenchcoat and carrying that dog). Did you like it enough to vote for it? (hint hint, nudge nudge). It maybe needs one more to land it in the promised land. Thanks! Aleister 12:11 16-1-14

The thing is, I don't know enough about Kubrick to know if this is funny enough for highlight. It didn't make me laugh on first read-through, and it didn't make me laugh on second, even with Peter Falk doing the narration. But it's also not Mr-Ex777 getting bumsex from Matt Smith, or A Wizard Did It. So I'm torn. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 7:51 (UTC)
Perfectly fine. To do a serious take on the article, I don't find it funny as much as satirical in nature (two different things in many cases) and it attempts to use that satire to give people a working knowledge of his work. The good padre is so stupid that he hung out with Kubrick all those years and throughout so many movies and yet didn't see his genius, but just thought he was chasing young actresses and mucking around. Within the page I try to honor Kubrick and actually expand the accumulated interpretation of his work and life (this goes on throughout the page, but I'm particularly proud of the Meryl Streep question in the questions and answers section), even in the many asides that Fadda Murphy spouts. Kubrick was an interesting director in that he put multi-layered symbolism into almost every scene he did, and those symbols and metaphors bounce around each other all throughout his better films. A reclusive genius in some ways, unlike Leverage, who is a clusive genius. Aleister 13:56 18-1-14
p.s. and oh, what I came here for originally. I see you have Puppy's Tropical Cyclone in your pages to fix. You don't mean fixing the swirling do you? The only fix I can see, and I meant to mention this to Puppy, is that in the past it seemed to get to the swirling quicker, and now it lags a bit and someone might have already left the page before it starts.
...I don't even see the image! Weird. I guess it's my computer or something... ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 14:01 (UTC)
Yeah, it's one of our best effects here. I wouldn't even know how to look at that code, but it may be of interest to you and other people who know what code means other than morse. Aleister whoops, almost signed my real name, which is Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson 14:04 18-1-14
I've asked a couple of people, and it seems that the problem lies in the Vector skin, which you apparently don't use (but which all non-logged-in users see by default). Since the old site uses a Monobook hack, the page works fine over there. If you take a look at it with the Vector skin, you should be able to see what I mean. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Jan 19 '14 10:19 (UTC)
Ah, the problem is real. Maybe Puppy would have a fix, but you know coding like the back of Frosty's hand, so you would know too. Since this is one of the best effects here (or at least was...) can that single page itself be set to Monobook or whatever book? Thanks for explaining it with visuals. Aleister 12:10 19-1-14

Pretty please, with sugar on top

Can you change the front page so it says the featured article's name. I know it was changed to make it more inline with wiki, but the thing it, wiki always meantions the page's name in the first line, whereas we don't. It's almost impossible to guess the title of today's article, and worse, new readers to the sight might click on stuff simply because it's the first link in the article. It makes much more sense to me the way that the old uncyc page has it. Leverage (talk) 09:17, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

I'd love to, if I could figure out how the hell to do it. You wouldn't happen to know what was changed, would you? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 9:32 (UTC)
Take a look at the spoon's home page. The "Links under banner" section is missing from ours. This contains some links which I guess people didn't want to keep (like the Big Five) but I think some stuff towards the end must refer to the featured page. This section goes in between "Portals on right hand side" and "beginning of main table". --Leverage (talk) 13:21, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

|style="font-size:95%; padding:10px 0; margin:0px; text-align: right; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|Categories]] '''·''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Featured content]] '''·''' [[Special:Allpages|A–Z index]] |} <!--

It's not that, it's buried in one of the templates. I think I've got it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 13:23 (UTC)
Hahaha! I just pasted the spoon code into a test page and saw my mistake. Is it the Featuredarticle template? Did I get it right, dad? Leverage (talk) 13:28, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Actually it's {{Featuredarticle/include}}, and after my fix to it, I have no idea how things are gonna look when there's no featured article lined up for that day. I'm thinking it just may say "From ". We'll know it when we see it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 13:31 (UTC)
That's how I see it, unfortunately. I think Hotadmin changed this, to keep it in line with Wikipedia. Maybe rollback some of his changes, see what Lyritha's version looked like in Jan 2013? Leverage (talk) 13:32, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Dude I already changed it. Check out the result. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 13:33 (UTC)
...did I do it right? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jan 18 '14 13:41 (UTC)
My page just shows from today's featured article as a hyperlink, it still doesn't display the name. It's definitely better, but I reckon the name is necessary to give the reader a grip on what he's looking at. Leverage (talk) 14:43, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
I pasted the spoon's include code to Template:Leverageballs and then its Featuredarticle code to User:Leverage/ContentWarning (an old sandpit page of mine). Seems to work. Leverage (talk) 15:08, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Ok, I changed it to have a link to Today's Article, full name and all, just like it used to be. FYI, all those {{CURRENTDAY}} bits are for a previous best-of we had, so they're outdated; I guess somebody forgot to take them out. Also, you can make a template in user-space and still have it work as a template. I'll move Template:Leverageballs to your userspace, and then you can let me know if you want to keep it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Jan 19 '14 2:46 (UTC)
Cool beans. I wondered about the possibility of doing a template in my user space, but I played it safe with the option I knew would work. I get embarrassed if I am seen moving pages around and stuff. I think the page looks better now. The omly thing I still find weird is that "recently featured" refers to today's feature (both here and at the spoon). Considering we have obliterated "Yesterday's Featured Article", maybe we should try and make this link work for that. Leverage (talk) 10:12, 19 January 2014 (UTC)
Yeah, I was thinking about changing that, but I'm not a DPL wizz like Spang thought he was; also, it seems like every template he ever made is a labyrinthine mass of spaghetti and razors. I'll have a look into it, but I ain't promising anything. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Jan 19 '14 10:16 (UTC)
I just took a look at it too. The problem is we don't have a featured article every day, right? So, right now it will display this Unbook unless we go 10 days back, to English language. It might just be easier to have it manually: Previous featured article: + link. Given all this talk of the front page, would you mind putting up a new article? Tour de France seems to have the yellow jersey. --Leverage (talk) 10:20, 19 January 2014 (UTC)
'K, I featured a couple of articles; Content-free got the first nod because it was the article with the longest number of time with an 8-or-over score. Now, while I try to see if I can fix this stupid {{lastfeature}}, you do me a favor and go vote for stuff. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Jan 19 '14 10:56 (UTC)

qvfd gadget

This is a pretty minor thing, but since I do weird stuff to my preferences I notice it. When I have a different language set in my preferences, the qvfd link in recent changes doesn't display; it only shows up when I tell it to use English. See for example recent changes in Welsh. Notice there's no qvfd link - it should be (gwahan|hanes|qvfd), but instead it's just (gwahan|hanes).

You made the gadget so I thought maybe you'd know why it's doing this. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 03:06, 23 Jan 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

Replied on your talk page. Thanks for the heads-up. Fixed now.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Jan 23 '14 7:01 (UTC)
Yep, it works. Thanks. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 13:13, 23 Jan 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

If you should happen to be here

you might want to know about this, since you're kind of involved with the stuff in it. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 21:34, 5 Feb 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia


Useless Gobshite of the Year Award Useless Gobshite of the Year 2013

Richly deserved. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 02:44, 6 February 2014 (UTC)

Automatic spam (courtesy of HowTo:Really really really piss off Bizzeebeever)

you are aren't funny, I hope this automated message pisses you off!!! HUGS <3

Parser functions

Hey. How's it going?

Spoony-floor has been playing with {{RL}} and it led me to wonder. This uses an "expensive" parser function. When I created that function the plan was to keep it to a minimum, but I'm wondering if it's as big a concern as I first thought. I know all the dynamic time-stamped signatures on this page made you archive. Is it something we need to be significantly concerned about? Nominally Humane! 09:12 10 Mar

The expensive-parser-function problem is only a page-by-page issue, and you'll know if it becomes an issue because things on a page with too many parser functions will stop working, and the page will show up here, allegedly. As for whether or not it slows down the server... that probably only becomes an issue if a page with lots of "EPF" calls gets extremely popular in the Intertubes. At which point, we'll just turn on Varnish or another cacher and have a laugh. Oh, the good times we'll have. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Mar 11 '14 10:15 (UTC)
Also, what I just typed is mostly bullshitting, because I have never asked anybody who really knows. But I did totally look it up. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Mar 11 '14 10:16 (UTC)
“Looking things up”… novel concept. Nominally Humane! 10:19 11 Mar
I look things up, and I look things down, but it's much more fun to look up things, especially skirts. You should have a go of it, sometime. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Mar 11 '14 10:21 (UTC)
Nah - I look terrible in a skirt. Nominally Humane! 10:23 11 Mar
Nah, you don't look that bad. cf1082bd365aa22cd7e1b26ac06a30691b0527c8.jpg

Yeah, its a guy. No. Fucking. Joke, --The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 04:51, 20 March 2014 (UTC)

That's not me. I never wear white panties. Nominally Humane! 05:09 30 Mar

Jay Gews

WTC DID JAWS. -The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory ¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥®¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥

Ok.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Mar 20 '14 4:37 (UTC)


Can you handle my qvfd request from a couple of days ago, thanks. The pic I'm using now is of the clouds portion only, and not the full picture, which has issues. Because the educational and transformative parody article I had used it on is about the clouds and not the marchers that pic isn't needed on the site anymore, if you know what I mean. Al 1:53 29-3-14

RAHB has already done this. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 02:41, 29 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia


Plsno. --The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 02:47, 30 March 2014 (UTC)

Ignnagtuscka. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Mar 30 '14 2:51 (UTC)
What's all this? – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 02:57, 30 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

This sample_505168400d8ea4dfb7e876790c76dfb6.jpg --The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 03:02, 30 March 2014 (UTC)

You'll regret nothing because the image seems to be broken. At least for me. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 03:06, 30 Mar 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

Template:Colonized and similar badge stuff

The location of that badge was related to being able to fit FA and other similar badges at the top of the page. Is there a better way of coding this (say, something added to site js) that will put all the relevant badges in the top right of the page, aligned right, at a uniform image size? And if not, why not?! Nominally Humane! 05:07 30 Mar

When a web designer has a problem, he thinks "I'll use JavaScript!" Then he has two problems.
But, yeah, if you can come up with all the templates that use similar small badges, I'll see what I can do about floating them at the top of the page. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Mar 30 '14 16:29 (UTC)

CSV file thingy

Hey you,

Odd question. I've been putting together a tool to do something funky with CSV files dumped into a page as raw text. What I'm wanting to do is grab a CSV file and change:

First value, second value, third value, fourth value


|First value = second value / third value / fourth value

Now I know I can do {{#replace:string|search term|replacement term}} stuff, but (last time I was trying this) it dies when you hit 1000 characters. It also would struggle with the first "," becoming "=". Can you think of a way of doing this easily? Nominally Humane! 10:58 06 Apr 2014

Whenever I have a need to do large text-replacements, I use Notepad++, or else a javascript evaluation console I hacked together. For Notepad++ (or any other Scintilla-based editor with regex replacements), the search-string for your specific example would be (I think) something like
and the replacement string would be
|\1 = \2 / \3 / \4
But everybody knows awk/gawk and sed (or perl) are for real men. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Apr 6 '14 12:47 (UTC)
Wait...just noticed that this was posted by PuppyOnTheRadio rather than Puppy. Is this a problem or anything? – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 21:26, 16 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Nope. Puppy just recreated his old account by accident. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Apr 17 '14 5:03 (UTC)
I know sometimes when you rename a user they can still edit from the old username and some of the edits are not reattributed. Hence this. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 05:09, 17 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Penis. My email decided that a notification of a change to this page was junk, and every other wiki change was fine.
Not quite what I was thinking. Thinking more along the lines of if someone dumps the raw text of a csv, manipulating it with wiki fu into something a little different. I've got a vb script on my excel to do the conversion locally, so that's not the problem. But I've come across another snag anyway, so the whole plan is one the far back burner. Nominally Humane! 12:20 17 Apr
Who the heck is this PuppyOnTheRadio person anyway? Nominally Humane! 12:22 17 Apr
On wikis with the Scribunto extension (like us and Wikipedia) you could use a Lua module, I guess. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Apr 18 '14 6:02 (UTC)
Yarp. Just started looking into Lua a couple days ago. Just to confirm - do these modules run server side? (In other words, can they be switched off by end-user? And can they be run prior to wiki parsing?) Nominally Humane! 08:28 18 Apr
I believe the Lua modules run after parser hooks and templates have been expanded, but before other wiki-text is parsed. Not 100% sure, though. They do run server-side, yes, not on your computer. I don't know any browsers that support Lua, anyway. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Apr 23 '14 3:56 (UTC)
Yeah. When I say I was looking at it, I should say I looked and saw something called Lua, which I had never come across before, started reading the justification for that over js at Wikipedia, and then got distracted by a shiny object. The snippets of code that I saw aren't alien to me though - similar structure to other stuff I've played with. But it is still an almost completely new idea to me. And also makes my knowledge of VBS and VBA seem even more useless. Nominally Humane! 04:02 23 Apr
Hey, you learned VBS for no good reason, too! Twin brothers of different mothers. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Apr 23 '14 14:35 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia app

You should see if this would be possible. It would also get me active and horny.  Special:Contribs/Sir Peasewhizz Sir Peasewhizz ... Biblio . HOS . Awards 20:52 4.21.14

I agree completely with this Sir. I want to access it on my IPod Touch because I can't be on my computer 24/7. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 21:04, 21 April 2014 (UTC)
There is an app called "WikiEgg" that can currently access another site with the same name. I mention this only as I've used it in the past, and ended up going back to the browser version. Apps - in my experience - tend to have very little functionality on wikis comparative to what can be done otherwise on site, and make little or no difference to the user experience. However, if you are able to contact the developer of that app, they may be able to adjust the destination site. (I've tried contacting them about another issue and never got a response though, so don't expect much in return.) Nominally Humane! 08:53 22 Apr
We have an app. I'm not sure where or what it is, but we have it.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Apr 23 '14 3:54 (UTC)
We have one for android devices in the google play store, or whatever that place is called. Nominally Humane! 04:02 23 Apr
I would totes write one for iDevices, but I don't have an iAnything, and I'm not sure if there are any iEmulators, or if they'll even iRun on my crappy old computer. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Apr 23 '14 14:44 (UTC)


That apparently stops ips from creating user talk pages, and I think that's a bad idea because they can't create their own talk page and that means it's harder for them to appeal blocks. I tried to change it so you can create your own talk page but not someone else's and I think it disabled the filter because it had more conditions than the condition limit, but I don't know how many the condition limit is or why. I also had it so ips can create any old user talk page but RAHB said that was bad. I'm not happy with how things are now but I don't see a good way to fix it and I've been told to come to you for help. Besides you created the filter so you should something something. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 05:28, 23 Apr 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

That filter prevents a buttload of spam, but I see what you're saying. I'll go check the abusefilter extension manual and see if I can fix it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Apr 23 '14 14:43 (UTC)
34 is 2 times 17 so it's kind of funny that I had an issue with your filter 34 here and Spike's filter 17 there. And it's really cool that you're actually willing to listen to this kind of stuff rather than just telling me to go write an article. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 20:56, 6 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Go write an article. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, May 7 '14 7:39 (UTC)

Hi Bizzee

Today's feature (Thursday) was supposed to be User:Hardwick Fundlebuggy. Could you please change it? And while you're at it I'd really appreciate it if you could fill the queu for the next couple days as well. Tomorrow (Friday) is Future ☭f tomorrow, today! and Saturday is Fire Hydrant. Thanks in advance. --ShabiDOO 08:34, 2 May 2014 (UTC)


Uncyclopedian of the Month Award Uncyclopedian of the Month April 2014

You gave me this award, now it's my turn to give it to you. Or something. Anyway, have a thingy. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 04:16, 4 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

0.o didn't know i was nomitaned. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, May 4 '14 8:24 (UTC)


What happened to this feature?-- MagicBus Talk to me! 20:18, 6 May 2014 (UTC)

Fwiw I reenabled the qvfd gadget briefly to test whether it worked, and it works for me. Maybe you accidentally disabled it? – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 20:57, 6 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

Youtube template?

A young Uncyclopedian gave me this hunk of code to make videos sit nicely in a thumbnailed box. Would it be easy to convert it to a more user-friendly template, like you did with the audio? Leverage (talk) 11:16, 7 May 2014 (UTC)

<div class="thumb tright"><div class="thumbinner"><youtube>PASTE_LAST_BIT_OF_ADDRESS_HERE</youtube><div class="thumbcaption">PUT_YOUR_FUNNY_CAPTION_HERE.</div></div></div>


I am halfway through a kind of cut and paste job at Template:YoutubeVideo. The only thing I don't get is how to identify what terms can be put in the curly brackets and what can't. Is there a list somewhere? Am i on the right track? Leverage (talk) 11:41, 7 May 2014 (UTC)

Unfortunately, <youtube> is a "parser hook" (I think that's the term) and is expanded before template parsing (I think?). So ...for whatever reason, you can't pass arguments to the <youtube> tag. Jean Valjean set up {{Thumbnail}} to deal with it, and ran into the same problem. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, May 8 '14 6:56 (UTC)
That was the very fella, I couldn´t track down his name. OK no worries. I posted his hunk of text on the newsroom. Please note when you speak computers to me, you do not have to say I guess, I think, or anything like that. I will totally take your word for it, even if you start using terms like parseholes. My approach to coding on here is kind of like Tom Hanks trying to make fire on Cast Away. WILSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! --Leverage (talk) 09:31, 8 May 2014 (UTC)
Well, I have to say "I think" and "I guess", because I barely know more about how MediaWiki works than you do.
By the way, do you want me to delete that template you made? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, May 8 '14 21:05 (UTC)

Gee whiz

That beaver sure is busy Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 14:32, Thursday 08 May 2014 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

My lord

The beaver is one sassy eggplant! --ShabiDOO 05:37, 9 May 2014 (UTC)


big blue button strikes again. I like that thing. Leverage (talk) 08:46, 9 May 2014 (UTC)

It's the gift wot keeps on giving! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, May 9 '14 10:36 (UTC)


Following up from my great work on the youtube thing, how do extensions work? I notice, for example, that <galllery> extensions work on wikia but not here. What do we have to do to get them? Leverage (talk) 10:33, 18 May 2014 (UTC)

<gallery> tags do work here; the syntax may or may not be different, but we definitely have them. Was there something else you wanted installed? – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 17:02, 18 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
I was after a slider function. The wikia page I looked up said this:

<gallery type="slider">
Example2.png|Example Two
Example3.png|Example Three|linktext=Great links
Example4.png|Example Four|link=Help:Contents|linktext=Interesting Pages
But this no work for me here. Do you know anything about sliders here? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Leverage (talk • contribs)

I'm not sure what a slider is. I'll do some research in a bit. Also, sorry for the unsigned but there was a stray nowiki tag, and just removing it would have left my signature in place of yours. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 18:39, 18 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Thank you! I only found out what it was today. But oyu will know it when you see it:,_Slideshows,_and_Sliders/wikitext Leverage (talk) 18:44, 18 May 2014 (UTC)
Ah thanks. Seems we don't have that functionality - it may be an extension, in which case it's listed here. Will look later, have to do stuff now. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 18:49, 18 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Thanks LaL. Gallery is listed, and we can obviously use that here. Just seems like this particular functionality doesn't work. Do we still use Mediawiki in the same way wikia pages do? Leverage (talk) 11:39, 19 May 2014 (UTC)
Wikia has a number of wikia-specific extensions that we don't have, and they run on an older version of mediawiki. The specifics of that should all be listed on that page I linked (and Special:Version for what we've got installed). There's also some stuff involving skins and css sheets but I don't know how that relates to this. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 15:10, 19 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
Wikia uses an ass-load of (what I am told are) horrible custom hacks to MediaWiki Core along with (what I am told are) terrible extensions. I'll look into the "slider" for ya, though. Also, sorry I took so long to get back to you. Thanks for holding down the fort, Ll...Spoons. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, May 19 '14 21:51 (UTC)
And yep, that's a custom Wikia extension which is apparently not open-source. So we can't use it. I might be able to whip something similar up as a gadget, though. Or there might be a MediaWiki extension that would work better. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, May 19 '14 21:57 (UTC)

Cool beans. My thoughts were we could jazz up the UnNews main page. We no longer look anything like Wikinews so I thought it might be useful to have a more animated lead articles template. What do you reckon? Leverage (talk) 12:56, 21 May 2014 (UTC)

Well, we look pretty similar, minus the colors. What did you have in mind? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, May 23 '14 5:38 (UTC)
I just looked it up again. I was sure they had completely changed the look. What I had had in mind was a slightly sexier version of the lead articles thing with a slider, but maybe it wouldn't make sense. Leverage (talk) 10:14, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
I'll see what we need to get a slideshow extension set up (and by that, I mean "I'll have to remember to ask legoktm if we can do that", because I don't know how to use git). If we decide against an extension, I'll make a gadget. We've got the big upgrade to MW 1.23 coming up in a couple of days, so it may take a bit. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, May 24 '14 6:59 (UTC)

Hey there, buddy

I could use your help on IRC with uh...something that definitely is not illegally installing pirated Windows onto a drug dealer's stolen laptop. It's not that at all. In fact, it's chocolate. FREE CHOCOLATE CAKE! -RAHB 05:45, 17 July 2014 (UTC)

A Big Hello from Banzai

Hello! - B@NZai k!tten BANZAI! (Meow?)B 10:31, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

I think you have a poop in your butt. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Jul 28 '14 10:34 (UTC)


It seems you want not to give this article a cookie, but a time bomb. Since Llwr told me to ask editors I better ask you.

  • What made the article bad?
  • Was the consept bad?
  • Were the images crap?
  • Did the layout suck?
  • Was the article actually funny?
  • Were you the one who said if I nominated the article again I would get bann'd? Chaoarren Chaohead (talk) 21:29, 30 July 2014 (UTC)
  1. Well, the article has several issues. One, you've made quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes. Two, it's just not funny. I don't know what a chao is, and while I pretty quickly got the general idea from reading your article (it's something from a video game, and by clicking the Wikipedia link, I see it's from Sonic the Hedgehog), the article doesn't make me want to care, and most importantly, doesn't make me laugh. Which leads me to your #2 question...
  2. Is the concept bad? Um... well... it's flimsy, at best. Chaos are real animals. Ha. It's been done before, successfully, and it might work here, if you developed it. But you don't. It reads like a general description of a video game character, and then ...your jokes are all weak-sauce. Are there jokes, even? I mean, you assume your audience is familiar with chaos, but...? If I can't understand any of your jokes because I haven't played Sonic the Hedgehog, then you're already failing. (By the way, is the name of this character a play on the word "chaos"? If so, there's a vein of potential that you left completely un-mined.)
  3. The images are "eh" at best, but they aren't the article's main problem, or they wouldn't be, with funny captions. Funny captions can make up for just about any transgression. (Except for the image with large capital lettering in it. The images make an article look like something off of Imgur or ED, and those sites both suck infinity dicks. While I'm on the subject of images with embedded captions, why on earth do people use them here, anyway? In MediaWiki, there's a space underneath an image for a caption. So having an EMBEDDED ALL-CAPITALS CAPTION has two disadvantages: 1) it looks like shit, 2) it makes having a regular caption pointless, 3) it looks dumb, and 4) you can't change the caption in the future to something that's funnier, or works better with the article. Did I say "two disadvantages"? I meant five. 5) It looks like dumb shit. Still, that's a minor quibble here.)
  4. Nothing wrong with the layout.
  5. See #1 and #2.
  6. I did not say that if you nominated the article again, you would be banned. I don't think. That was probably somebody else.
I hope that this answers your questions without hurting your feelings too badly, and you should remember that I'm the last person you should ask for writing tips, seeing as I haven't written anything comprehensively funny in about two years. (Or ever, depending on whether or not you ask Zombiebaron.) If this article were on my plate, I'd probably go balls-to-the-wall serious, and make like the chao was a Dodo or something. And then quit half-way through, after I ran out of ideas.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jul 30 '14 23:04 (UTC)


8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

Rock-O-Jello (I'm listening...) 15:52, 6 August 2014 (UTC)

Deliver thy USP

Please.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:06 9.14.14

BB, what is this?

What is this stupid bullshit on User:Sir Peasewhizz/Lindsay Lohan? No, not the soap opera, the fact the second image doesn't show up.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 05:01 10.11.14

You know, it's a funny story that starts with an incompetent clown with a web server, and ends with four or five completely different incompetent clowns with a completely different web server, but it's a long story and I see that cobra attached to your left arm by its fangs is still alive and writhing, so I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, that you went to the absolute right person (it was absolutely my fault, mea culpa, mea stupido, mea I don't know what 'mea' means, but I assume it's Persian for "kiss my vertical smile" or something) and so now it's fixed, and don't you feel happy now? Except for that cobra. That cobra looks like it means business. You should get that looked at. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Oct 11 '14 14:17 (UTC)
It's pretty bangin'. Thanks!  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 16:15 10.11.14

Short pages question

Gerrycheevers asked a question on my talk page about removing certain pages from Special:ShortPages. This was solved on the old site (at least with the disambiguation pages) by adding a wall of text to the templates themselves. That doesn't seem to be working on the new site. I tried adding the text to several different templates (e.g. Undictionary, UnVoyages, etc.) but there doesn't seem to be any effect. It's been awhile since I've added them so I don't think it's an issue with the cache being updated. Is this something that can be fixed or should I just add the wall of text to individual pages? MadMax (talk) 18:18, 20 October 2014 (UTC)

I took a look at the code behind Special:ShortPages, and the significant stuff is this:
        function getQueryInfo() {
                return array(
                        'tables' => array( 'page' ),
                        'fields' => array(
                                'namespace' => 'page_namespace',
                                'title' => 'page_title',
                                'value' => 'page_len'
                        'conds' => array(
                                'page_namespace' => MWNamespace::getContentNamespaces(),
                                'page_is_redirect' => 0
                        'options' => array( 'USE INDEX' => 'page_redirect_namespace_len' )

        function getOrderFields() {
                return array( 'page_len' );
...which indicates that Special:ShortPages sorts on the page.page_len field, which contains the "uncompressed length in bytes of the page's current source text". I don't think adding hidden text to a template transcluded into a given page will change this field for that page. That means you'll probably need to add hidden text to all of the pages in question. I suppose someone might add a hack to that special page to exclude certain namespaces (such as UnDictionary); would you like me to ask about that? (It would have to be one of the tech guys, because I am completely unfamiliar with hacking Mediawiki Core.) ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Oct 20 '14 19:21 (UTC)

Thanks, that would be great. I'm not too sure who the site's technical guys are these days myself. On an unrelated subject, I notice the "" no longer redirects to the old site. I was under the impression Wikia still owned the .com domain name. I haven't been able to access "" in almost two years. MadMax (talk) 04:27, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

The tech guys are me, legoktm, Emufarmers, Jack Phoenix, Isarra, and Skizzerz, although Skizzerz is usually busy (I think). I'll see what I can do about keeping certain namespaces off of Special:ShortPages.
On the other thing: you're thinking of Uncyclopedia has never owned the .com domain; some vineyard owner (lulz) in Washington state owns, and has never responded to our emails. Oddly, however, seems to be Not Working right now, although it still seems to be registered to Wikia (the domain owner's name is obfuscated, but their DNS record points to Wikia nameservers.) ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Oct 28 '14 8:20 (UTC)

Oh, that's right! It's been so long I'd forgotten. So can either hold on to the .com or .org domains indefinitely? MadMax (talk) 01:32, 5 November 2014 (UTC)

As long as they renew each year? I think so. We might be able to force an auction for the .com domain if the guy forgets to renew, but I have no idea how that would work, and it would be fucking expensive. And Wikia probably will never forget. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Nov 5 '14 8:41 (UTC)

Why was sheep made into a redirect when it was once a featured article

This is NOT AMERICAN!  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:35 10.20.14

It was a featured article that was featured literally right before we moved, and was a bit of fabulous self-promotion on SPIKE's part, and was a mediocre article. That being said, I believe Zombiebaron was the one who deleted it during Forest Fire Week, so you'd have to ask him about it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Oct 28 '14 8:35 (UTC)
What do you mean by "self-promotion"? Self-nom? Anton (talk) 10:44, 28 October 2014 (UTC)
There is a page called "Sheep", I don't know how you could think it was a redirect or deleted. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 11:06, 28 October 2014 (UTC)
Looks like Xamralco undeleted it and moved it back. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Oct 28 '14 12:24 (UTC)
Sorry for my overwhelming curiosity, but really, do you consider the fact that Spike nominated his own work as self-promotion or something else? Anton (talk) 14:20, 28 October 2014 (UTC)
Stop saying the s word  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 20:00 10.28.14
Self-promotion. Also, it's a crappy article. I dunno how it managed to get featured. But it did. And now it's back in the mainspace, so I guess Controversy Over. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Oct 28 '14 20:06 (UTC)
Suddenly, Raccoons appear.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 00:55 10.29.14

I know

...that you are really a bot and that there is no bizzeebeever in real life! I know. I know! --ShabiDOO 14:13, 29 October 2014 (UTC)

Everyone is a bot out here. Even you. Anton (talk) 14:22, 29 October 2014 (UTC)
So there is no shabidoo out there in the real world? "GASP" !!! --ShabiDOO 14:25, 29 October 2014 (UTC)

I saw this and it made me think of you.

Quite the family resemblance, eh? The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  23:20, 29 October 2014 (UTC)
You can ignore me, but this will continue. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  00:16, 2 November 2014 (UTC)
Hey! I found a picture of your mom!!! The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  00:22, 4 November 2014 (UTC)
Hey I found this image you photoshopped together. You shouldn't let people see your genius like this. Someone might steal it. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  14:46, 6 November 2014 (UTC)

Re-feature queue

If you want, you can go to Uncyclopedia:Re-feature queue/Nominate and pick one featured article that you wrote to be re-featured. You can also pick three features written by someone else to re-feature. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:44, 17 November 2014 (UTC)

Also, goddammit, I missed this. Are you still around?  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jun 27 '15 10:00 (UTC)

Why change the logo?

But really, why? Icons-flag-au.png XY007talkcontributions 09:56, 27 June 2015 (UTC)

They made me.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Jun 27 '15 10:00 (UTC)

You remind me of Columbo.

columbo.jpg -- (talk) 15:32, 6 July 2015 (UTC)

Well he seems like a nice enough fella, so I'll take that as a compliment.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Jul 6 '15 15:36 (UTC)