User talk:EricIsOnFire
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UnSignpost Home Delivery[1] The edition that's black and white and dead all over
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Thank you![edit source]
 | Hey there! I just wanted to say, thank you for voting for me in the recent Uncyclopedian of the Year vote! As such, here you go: some potatoes for you to eat (using your eyes). Cassandra (talk) |
- No problemo! Sorry I've been busy and AFK from Uncyc a couple weeks :) Eric is on fire (talk) 16:41 2.27.22 16:41, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
Do you need some water?[edit source]
You're on fire. If you do not want water to extinguish the fire, I will brick the fire, because being on fire hurts a lot. ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 11:42, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
- It's actually a natural state of being for me. I prefer kerosene to keep the fire going, actually. Eric is on fire (talk) 14:05 5.10.22 14:05, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
- Kerosense? Natural? What happened to you to make you think BEING ON LITERAL FIRE is normal? Or are you some strange creature, like me being sentient space? ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 14:36, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
- I am an alien from outer space! Eric is on fire (talk) 00:41 5.11.22 00:41, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
- Kerosense? Natural? What happened to you to make you think BEING ON LITERAL FIRE is normal? Or are you some strange creature, like me being sentient space? ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 14:36, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
- It's actually a natural state of being for me. I prefer kerosene to keep the fire going, actually. Eric is on fire (talk) 14:05 5.10.22 14:05, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
Signature[edit source]
Since your signature has a built-in timestamp, the double timestamp might be hurting things a little. Didst thoueth know that thine couldeth use three (3) tildes to produceth onlyst the signatureth withoust the defaulteth timestamp? ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 11:02, 22 May 2022 (UTC)
- Ah that's right. Thanks for looking out for me. Eric is on fire (talk) 18:37 5.23.22
UnSignpost delivery for June 20, 2022[edit source]
Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.
DAMMIT.Sandwich of the Month is finally up!
By ARandomPage
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made a Sandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..
ARandomPage has gone crazy!
By Unnamed Space
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:
- Opening the floodgates stopping the fish migration
- Labelling everyone traitors who deserve "depth"
- Naming an entire war-conflict-fiasco without any consensus
- Not bothering to finish either of their articles
- Fixing errors... wait, no, that's a good thing
- Vandalizing the Hobo Queen 2's page
- Stealing the UnSignpost
- Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
- Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost
Biopic This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week HowTo:Get Expelled from School (6/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage steals the UnSignpost. Read the first section for more.
Chat Quote ..... IRC is dead. And I can't grab a quote from Discord since I don't have Discord.
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 00:06, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for July 10, 2022[edit source]
The former problem user known as Crocotta1, listed on UN:OFFICE for various reasons, has returned about... 2 months ago, showing much better behavior than before. While her issues are not entirely gone and there are issues unmentioned in the Office report, she appears to be much better in managing them now. We here at the UnSignpost hope this situation gets even better, as one of our editors appears to be rather harsh to Crocotta1 over the various vents she places on talkpages and numerous sexual references.
The UnSignpost needs your help!
By ARandomPage
That's right, the basically-dead UnSignpost needs your help so that it works better. Now, before you leave HATE HATE HATs on ARandomPage's talkpage, let him explain. From his words: "The UnSignpost template in its current form is broken, as selecting the words/links/whatevers on the main stories will direct you to the logs section instead. I tried to fix it, but that broke some talkpages by centering their header text. Microsoft for POTUS also tried to fix it, solving both issues, but creating another one in that their version of the UnSignpost template looked a bit... ugly." And there you have it, the current situation of the UnSignpost wrapper template. If you are reading this and want to help out, message Page and discuss it with him (sorry, we couldn't find anyone else to direct you to) or fix it himself. I'm sure the idiot space will notice.
Biopic This biopic is about being too lazy to get stuff done. For example, almost every editor and admin here is too lazy to keep this place feeling alive. The lead and only editor of the UnSignpost, ARandomPage, is too lazy to bring out regularly-scheduled UnSignposts, nor write an actual good biopic, which is why this is the "biopic" you'll be getting this issue.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week i burning your dog (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage is considering throwing UnSignposts into every active extended-confirmed user's talkpage, minus the ones who remove the UnSignposts.
Chat Quote From now on, I will make Discord quotes up because I DON'T HAVE DISCORD. "PF4Eva: i'm thinking of blocking page for his bold edits, its starting to look reckless"
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 02:19, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for August 19, 2022[edit source]
Two anonymous vandals have attacked MrX's talkpage with spam, with one of them doing the same to both Crocotta1 and BraGreMat. MrX was absent during a latter part of the attack, Crocotta1 appears to be quite rude to these vandals, and BraGreMat is probably tired of reverting things all the time. Meanwhile, our self-proclaimed "chief editor" watched the madness, reverted a few times, and said stuff about the situation. He didn't even bother to make an UnSignpost about it until now! Ban this idiot already! Leave HATE HATE HATs on his talkpage, I demand justice!
There are errors in the Main Page!
By ARandomPage
That is correct, there are slight grammar/formatting errors in the Main Page of all pages. The errors were found by Brogo13 as a result of Page trying to place the Main Page on wheels for "Willy on Wheels Day", which is the date that Willy on Wheels first vandalized Wikipedia. That date is August 20. Page is in disbelief over the current state of his life, inability to finish his WIPs, and the admins' lack of time to spot and fix the errors in what might be Uncyclopedia's most important page. Also, he failed to finish placing the Main Page on Wheels.
Kiko4564 has returned!
By ARandomPage
The banned user known as "Kiko4564" has returned, under the not-very-subtle username of Kiko4564 Is Back. Their intention is still unclear, at least to us, but there's a good chance it's not malicious. When first banned, Kiko had an "Extremely long history of being a complete twat, both on-wiki and on IRC". They were also a Wikipedia sockpuppeteer, but that's not our business. Due to all this madness, our incompetent chief editor decided that it's a good idea to throw this edition into Kiko4564's talkpage. MrX, I beg of you, ban ARandomPage already. He's too incompetent to be in charge of the UnSignpost.
Biopic
This biopic is about conciseness and its benefits and drawbacks. The benefits: Your text is shorter. The drawbacks: Your text is shorter.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Peng Shui (7/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage is still too lazy to make UnSignposts, and has neglected to make an UnSignpost on the MrX talkpage attack for over a week. However, that waiting did give him two stories, so...?
Chat Quote Cassie:
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 04:14, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for October 21, 2022[edit source]
By ARandomPage
On October 17, 2022, L10nM4st3r broke his account by idiotically ruining how he views Uncyclopedia by testing (and breaking) his personal CSS file. He informed MrX about it, and the edit was reverted. Unfortunately for everyone involved, L10n then proceeded to completely forget his Uncyclopedia password, forcing him to create a new account, L10nM4st3r (2). He has now in the process of recovered what he can, and Kippy was able to rename him back.
Several users plot to vandalize Wikipedia, but sadly have their plan foiled
By ARandomPage
On October 18, 2022, Microsoft for POTUS started a thread on MrX's talkpage about vandalizing Wikipedia. L10nM4st3r then reported it to a Wikipedian, revealing his true allegiance to about a few people. BraGreMat also joined in the discussion, with a very interesting story about how they changed some template names a little bit and these changes went unnoticed for about two hours, which is pretty impressive once you realize how big Wikipedia and its community is. ARandomPage also left a comment, stating that he'd like to see an overly bureaucratic part of Wikipedia get vandalized. This sparked a small talk between Page and Microsoft about Wikipedia reporting IPs, which ended when they realized that people's IPs won't get reported just because they vandalized a website a little. L10n then stated that he would not hesitate to betray us in Wikipedia territory.
In other news, ARandomPage is a traitor to one of his own kind. Next story...
MrX's talkpage attacked by Svex! Again!
By ARandomPage
In a shocking act of betrayal, the recently-crowned admin known as Svex 88134kg has vandalized the talkpages of several Uncyclopedians, and even made a hate page on BraGreMat! This led to BraGreMat going on the Uncyclopedia Discord, reporting the spammer, and getting no response, leading to ARandomPage's first real finding of a Chat Quote. Once again, this vandal has been temporarily stopped and all their vandalisms deleted, and also I'm out of stuff to write on, so on to our monthly biopic!
Biopic
This biopic is about nonexistent biopics. Nonexistent biopics are very simple to create, as the first and only step of creating one is to
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Uncyclopedia:VFH (7/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage finally has a Discord account.
Chat Quote BraGreMat ™:"Apparently this is the worst time to get a response. Noted for future reference"
SPECIAL Delivery of the UnSignpost for October 23, 2022![edit source]
THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL! Just today, the Main Page has been deleted, and the person who started this deletion is none other than ARandomPage himself! How did this happen? Why did Page cause the deletion of the Main Page? You shall see, once you finish reading this UnSignpost!
This mess started on Discord, with ARandomPage, Cassie, Microsoft for POTUS, Banzaikitten, PF4Eva and JJPMaster. After an innocent discussion between all of them minus PF4 over a video, Banzai's wishes to cause minor inconveniences (which were stopped because Banzai is technically incompetent), and Svex the vandal, ARandomPage brought up the topic of the three pending deletions of the Main Page as per consensus on VFD. Page asked Cassie to delete the Main Page thrice sometime in the future, and Cassie, being Cassie, deleted the Main Page four minutes later. Microsoft then created the Main Page with the word "a", Banzai vandalized the Main Page, JJP declared that she was sad, and Cassie put up a notice saying that the Main Page was being set up. A few minutes later, Cassie had restored the Main Page as if nothing had happened. Peace returned to Uncyclopedia, and everyone got off scot-free... right?
WRONG! Despite the actual Main Page deletion crisis being over, the aftermath was arguably scarier than the real deletion. First, Cassie joke-blocked everyone involved in this discussion for a few minutes. Then, Banzai blocked Cassie for 100 years, as according to them, Cassie had committed the ultimate sacrilege. This caused Page to get mad and demand proper justice by turning himself in as the person who truly deleted the Main Page by telling Cassie to do it, even telling Banzai to give him the death penalty, which they refused. Though Page got a 900-year ban for a few minutes from Banzai, which Page celebrated, Banzai then essentially unblocked Page and went to sleep. Oh, what mess Banzaikitten will wake up to...
That's right, we have a new method of blocking! JJPMaster has invented the "symbolic block", which basically messes up a user's common.js file to deny them access to Uncyclopedia through conventional means. While JJPMaster was symbolically blocking Page, and later on, Banzai, Cassie opened a black hole on Page's userpage. According to JJPMaster herself, "i may have been waiting to "symbolically block" a human person ever since i got this permission".
And there you have it. That's the entire Main Page deletion incident of October 22, 2022. The true culprit of this crime has somehow escaped punishment... for now.
Biopic This is a special edition, I don't have time for this biopic.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Uncyclopedia:VFH (7/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage, the only person currently operating the UnSignpost, is in Uncyclopedia purgatory for high treason: deleting the Main Page.
Chat Quote Cass the Ban-Hammer Wielder🔨: I have no choice but to declare thunder on you