This user's timezone is UTC-4 (EDT). Her time is currently 03:16. If you can't find her right now, it's probably midnight her time and/or she's trying to find Cassie on another, more obscure wiki. Assuming she has a "normal" sleep schedule (fat chance), she is most likely inactive right now. Check back in a few hours. (Purge)
JJP, I understand you are trying to help...but suggesting a two way interaction ban is extremely unhelpful. Trust me...Gale has been 50 times more disruptive than any other use I have seen here in 10 years and MrX and I have done literally everything possible to work with him. We have avoided insults and been as patient as possible for nearly six months. Normally on this site users are quickly blocked or perma-banned for this kind of behaviour but Gale has been given an exceptionally free pass for many things. Worse though was undoing the tags. We have been trying and completely failing for months to get Gale to recognise that we don't do things outside of VFH, VFD and VFS through voting or consensus and we don't want a bunch of beaurocratic rules. By undoing those tags after Gale ignored me twice and then claimed we should because there was as 2-1 consensus...you've reinforced his idea that we do do things by vote (which we don't). It's emboldening him to continue his disruptive attitude and ignoring us. It is up to Cassie to decide to undo formatting on his page...not Gale. We would all like him to be a constructive member of the wiki but I would please please please ask you to be mindful around Gale to help make that possible. ShabiDOO 15:16, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
It's actually been longer than six months. Yet Gale5050 likes to claim that UN:BITE should still apply to him but not to users with fewer than 10 edits. I believe that this edit was my first interaction with Gale5050, and it immediately was abundantly clear that he is here for allthewrongreasons. Gale5050 is here because of his obsession with wikis, not to read/write comedy. I'm not sure why that isn't clear to everyone else. If you think that anyone is being too harsh, please peruse this tp archive of Gale5050's and my tp archive. You will see that Gale5050 has been showered with encouragement, praise, and patience. But Gale5050 continues to refuse to listen to others and continues to go around acting like the boss and telling everyone what to do, often telling people they've made mistakes (which they haven't) and creating wikidrama. Before you go proposing any other IBANs or sanctions, please ask yourself two questions: How many other editors have had problems with Gale5050? How many other editors have had problems with Shabidoo/me? Finally, JJPMaster, please know that we all love and appreciate everything you do here. We all know how hard you've been working to help make Uncyc a better place, and we are all very, very grateful to have you here. Thank you, and may Sophia bless you. MrXblow me 16:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
Indeed MrX is right about your extremely helpful and productive work...especially on code shit I don't have the slightest clue about. Huzah! Secondly...I know it seems ironic that I am supporting an interaction ban between two users on rationalwiki at the moment...but none of that is because of annoying behaviour but because of sustained abuse, insults (including cunt several times) and transphobia. ShabiDOO 16:16, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
UN:BITE has been used against me on users who aren’t new, I was warned about biting MrX and Shabidoo. I was not showered with encouragement, rather, harsh messages. I have written a lot of comedy, but they reject good articles, such as Hurricane Harvey, which was rejected. They keep complaining about how many facts, even though THIS IS AN ENCYCLOPEDIA. I have been taught a message on my talk page from MrX or Shabidoo is some form of shame, leading to harsher sanctions then deserved, while at the same time. UnWeather is a success, allow it to happen! I was blatantly interrupted from writing about the 2019 & 2020 retirements. Hurricane Harvey is, IMO, funnier then articles that wound up on the main page, such as Human rights. One last thing; it was technically only 5 months, because basically 10/5-12/26 was filled with inactivity, check my contributions between that point, had I not been exposed on WP, it would have been longer.
I’d say one of my best articles might be about the sunrise in longyearbyen, Ted Cruz going to Cancun, or about the super bowl. Actually, both my Cuomo and pacific typhoon names article got on the UnNews main page(like, front of it)and the Cuomo article was approved by an admin(because RecentUnNews is technically fully protected it’s confusing). I have also gotten Interstate 95 near to FA status, albeit it was ~20% written by me, so I can’t directly nominate it till at least 4/4. Also, any maintence tags requests have to be made. Contributing to Uncyclopedia can be made in different ways, so I’d say i’ve done a pretty good job making articles. MrX has done more then necessary shaming on my UnScripts, but my UnDebate was pretty good - I have also made a lot of redirects that are useful. My sanctions severely limit my capacity to contribute, which I think is a big issue. And all these partial blocks do is make it worse. There are so many situations where “you can’t have it both ways” apply, yet it does. And that is the issue. --Gale5050aka Andrew5let's talk!See me on WP! Do not click before August 12:50, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
I know Gale is blocked, but I just feel like I should say:
This is not an encyclopedia. This is a humor project.
Uncyclopedia:Universal Top 10 Election[edit source]
I'm honestly not quite sure how to fix the article besides splitting it into separate articles, but I'll check over it and see if there's anything I can do. JJPMaster 22:20, 28 March 2021 (UTC)
So as you may have seen, I copied and customized your talk page editnotice, hope you don't mind, thanks of course. It seems to have removed the "Add topic" button from my talk page. Any thoughts? Not a big deal, and if I have to choose between the two, I'll stick with my lovely notice. Thanks again! MrXblow me 04:41, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
DO NOT MENTION THE CURSED WEBSITE. Any subsequent mentions will result in you getting banned or cancelled for a (insert number here) number of seconds. Cassandra (talk) 01:41am April 7, 2021
Your recent editing history shows that you are currently engaged in an edit war; that means that you are repeatedly changing content back to how you think it should be, when you have seen that other editors disagree. To resolve the content dispute, please do not revert or change the edits of others when you are reverted. Instead of reverting, please use the talk page to work toward making a version that represents consensus among editors. The best practice at this stage is to discuss, not edit-war.
This is a telemarketing version of the UnSignpost, which has been provided to all active Uncyclopedians (selected by Cassie) free of charge. Enjoy! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 01:52, 1 May 2021 (UTC)
Following an incredible (by 2021 Uncyclopedian standards) 16 VFS votes, Uncyclopedia's most active administrator has initiated their transition to female. Said admin, now known publicly as Cassie, has had a talk page that often inflated by 80,000 bytes or more weekly, and singlehandedly managed a vast variety of things, including (but not limited to): vandal whipping, being the school principal, managing VFH, and more. "Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
From The Logs
1 May 2021 Cassie renamed user Redacted (8224 edits) to Cassie (Per message here)
10 April 2021 JJPMaster (38 bytes) (-13) . . (Reverting edit(s) by Gale5050 (talk) to rev. 6045969 by Celeste:shhhhhhhhhhh (RW 16.1dev))
22 February 2021 Cassie blocked JJPMaster with an expiration time of 4 hours and 20 minutes (account creation disabled) (You [[Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit
Following 1.5+ years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
Oh man, that was a rough one last night. Can you believe we finished that entire bottle? I think I got banned on that dumbass website. Meh, losers. Thanks for proof-reading all that crap.
Thank you for being proactive and helping to eliminate offensisms! Make sure you check the possessive case when changing 'he or she' to 'they,' etc. (See my change on Tarot to see what I mean.) XOXO
Thank you for creating Template:Randomuser I don't know if it was in response to me struggling on my userpage and that you saw my desperate flailings and decided to extend a subtle olive branch, or that you just happened to create it while I was floundering about. Either way, I appreciate it! Side note: I've only been getting User:Charizardman10 as the target. Do you know about that issue, or is this news to you?
Thanks! WohMi, the Dueling King (talk) 00:14, 7 May 2021 (UTC)
Yes, it was in response to the user page thing; as for the Charizardman10 issue, you have to purge the page to get a new result, as opposed to simply reloading it. Do this by appending ?action=purge to the end of your page URL. JJPMaster 00:16, 7 May 2021 (UTC)
The 15th Poo Lit Surprise contest is here! This multifaceted competition, with four distinct and open categories, is open between June 1st and June 21st. Five $10 prizes, as well as a bonus $5 prize, are up in the air! Here are the open categories this year:
Best Mainspace Article - for articles in the traditional sense.
Best Alternate Namespace Article - for stuff like UnNews or even UnTunes!
Best File - replacing Best Potatochop, all self-made files are allowed here (with a few exceptions)!
Best Rewrite - for the best already-existing articles rewritten from scratch.
Best Template - A brand new category this year: the best template wins!
To register, please consult Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise, add your name to the table in the category you wish to join, and link your entry once you are ready. Everyone is welcome, regardless of seniority!
Judges may enlist at User:Cassie/PLS/Scoring. Judges may not participate in the category or categories they enlist in, but are free to participate in other categories!
I saw you write "Userboxen" on your page. Is that inspired by the funny paragraphim in The Foxen In The Henhice? --Jabberwock (talk) 11:35, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
It's a good thing you transcluded the Main Page in a cascade-protected page, because this prevents any content of the page from being edited! :) –Mr. Saed& Let’s chat & 22:12, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
I've re-routed the RedWarn error category to here. It was previously here. There are a couple of your script pages there and I didn't want to mess with it, but the errors are stemming from the Template:User-multi module and Template:IPvandal. Can you take a look when you have a chance? Notably here. XOXO ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:31, 21 August 2021
A new Uncyclopidea user (Intenegence wise more on the side of a gold fish rather than a "User") and I have the Oh deary page[edit source]
Hello! I am a new user on this website. I've been browsing for around a year or two looking at the fantastic comedic articles. So I decided, why not get an account, and so I did. And I went to look at my new account page not knowing anything about being on a wiki and saw the link "Oh deary." My first thought was that it was a humourous link added to new users so I clicked it and saw it was about me making a bad edit, the problem is, I have yet to ever edit a article let alone make one. I think it's there by mistake and if it wasn't I'll try and fix what ever I messed up. I'm sorry about this mistake if there was one. :Waveline: – Preceding unsigned comment added by House in the trees (talk • contribs)
It appears you are the one who made that edit to your talk page. No big deal tho, feel free to remove it. Let me know if you have any questions. Cheers. MrXblow me 18:52, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penn Sign Up Today!(pretty please) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 13:52, 13 December 2021
I can't make my own user page!
<Celeste emoji> 71.237.21.218 (talk) 19:40, 29 May 2022 (UTC)71.237.21.218
First of all, in order to create a user page, you must create an account. You can do so right now if you wish. Secondly, for Celeste emojis, you must use {{Celeste}} and add the name of the emoji as shown on that template's documentation. JJPMaster 19:44, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made aSandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:
Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost
Biopic
This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!
From The Logs
May 29, 2022 JJPMaster protected User talk:MrX [Edit=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) (Persistent shoe puppetry)
May 27, 2022 MrX changed block settings for Crocotta1 with an expiration time of 15:38, June 20, 2022 (account creation disabled, email disabled) (Continuous violation of her UN:OFFICE sanctions. See talkpage. Granting TPA, Cat, I hope you don't mind.)
May 12, 2022 PF4Eva blocked ARandomPage with an expiration time of 12 hours (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Pony-hating nonsense)
Don't take this too seriously. ARandomPage just wants to let you know that you did something silly, which may or may not include making people include Celeste emojis in every message.
Some warnings in the "Send Warning" drop-down are non-existent (such as the indiscriminate removal of red links once). I feel like those should be removed.
Also, there's that "using Wikipedia for advertising or promotion" one or whatever. Should be changed to say Uncyclopedia. Microsoft for POTUS (talk) 04:04, 23 September 2022 (UTC)
SPECIAL Delivery of the UnSignpost for October 23, 2022![edit source]
THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL! Just today, the Main Page has been deleted, and the person who started this deletion is none other than ARandomPage himself! How did this happen? Why did Page cause the deletion of the Main Page? You shall see, once you finish reading this UnSignpost!
WRONG! Despite the actual Main Page deletion crisis being over, the aftermath was arguably scarier than the real deletion. First, Cassie joke-blocked everyone involved in this discussion for a few minutes. Then, Banzai blocked Cassie for 100 years, as according to them, Cassie had committed the ultimate sacrilege. This caused Page to get mad and demand proper justice by turning himself in as the person who truly deleted the Main Page by telling Cassie to do it, even telling Banzai to give him the death penalty, which they refused. Though Page got a 900-year ban for a few minutes from Banzai, which Page celebrated, Banzai then essentially unblocked Page and went to sleep. Oh, what mess Banzaikitten will wake up to...
That's right, we have a new method of blocking! JJPMaster has invented the "symbolic block", which basically messes up a user's common.js file to deny them access to Uncyclopedia through conventional means. While JJPMaster was symbolically blocking Page, and later on, Banzai, Cassie opened a black hole on Page's userpage. According to JJPMaster herself, "i may have been waiting to "symbolically block" a human person ever since i got this permission".
And there you have it. That's the entire Main Page deletion incident of October 22, 2022. The true culprit of this crime has somehow escaped punishment... for now.
Biopic
This is a special edition, I don't have time for this biopic.
From The Logs
October 22, 2022: Cassie (talk * contribs) huffed page Main Page (VFD asked for it) (Tag: CHICKEN)
October 22, 2022: Banzaikitten (talk * contribs) changed block settings for ARandomPage (talk * contribs) with an expiration time of 15 minutes (autoblock disabled) (you will return)
Leaving this here because I'm not sure if you'll be available on Discord. Yesterday, SG1 said that the current system for delivering UnSignposts is spammy and outdated, and proposed several different solutions. One solution I liked was to put a banner on the site for registered users (maybe just experienced users?) advertising and linking to the UnSignpost, and putting an option to never show it again when closed. I think this seems very possible for you, do you have any thoughts on this? ARandomPage, also named Space (ARandomTalkPage) (ARandomContributionsPage) 04:52, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
To test it on me! Stay away from my cssfile though. No, seriously. If you touch my css, I will not forgive you anytime soon. At least wait 4 months before that happens again. — L10nM4st3rROAR at me! / What my paws scratched
Hello. Can you please fix your signature so that it falls in line with the signature guidelines. Thanks. -- TheZombiebaron 12:52, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Help: I can't get page-specific CSS for my userpage and user talk page working![edit source]
Hi,
I already need help with page-specific CSS, as my userpage and user talk page won't let me see it. How do I get it to work? Bamber2805 lol (Talk | Contribs | Scratch) 17:54, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Could I ask you to copy the CSS code you used into this page? JJPMaster 18:20, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Okay.
/* CSS placed here will affect users of the Vector skin *//* Footer, ripped from the spambox */#footer{background:rgba(0,0,0,0.67)nonerepeatscroll0%0%;width:85.1%;padding:0px!important;margin-left:auto;bottom:0px!important;color:#C2C8CF;}#footera{color:default;}#footerul{padding-left:190px;padding-right:15px;}#footerulli{color:#C2C8CF;}/* Background, ripped from TCRF */@mediascreen{#mw-page-base{background-image:linear-gradient(#FFFFFF30%,rgba(36,255,0,0)100%);background-color:transparent;}body{background-color:#EAFFEA;background-image:url('https://images.uncyclomedia.co/uncyclopedia/en/0/0b/Bluepix.png');}}div.topicon{position:absolute;z-index:10;top:-55px;right:10px;display:block!important;}
Farewell. I just don't feel like being on this wiki too much. Bye bye. Also, can I port RedWarn to another wiki in the future? Bamber2805 lol (Talk | Contribs | Scratch) 11:42, 2 April 2023 (UTC)
By the GPLv3, yes. JJPMaster 19:07, 2 April 2023 (UTC)
I am doing this page but i have an urgency to ask if it is possible to make visible the keyboard only for computer mode and if not what corrections i may do to improve and optimize for mobile interface, thanks and have a nice day :D --Executive (talk) 16:22, 21 June 2023 (UTC)
@Executive: I came up with a workaround using sitewide JS that technically works, so I'd like you to test it on desktop and mobile if possible. JJPMaster 17:12, 21 June 2023 (UTC)
Thanks a lot, it works very nice now! Thank you again ;)--Executive (talk) 17:25, 21 June 2023 (UTC)
Sorry to bother again but now the keyboard is visible by mobile… --Executive (talk) 06:20, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
When I try mobile version from pc the keyboard disappear but when i try with my phone (Iphone) I still can see it... is it my phone the problem? Thx :)--Executive (talk) 16:19, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
@Executive: It works fine for me, so could you maybe try adding alert(mw.config.get("wgMFAmc")); to the top of your common.js and telling me what message you see pop up on the screen on desktop and mobile. After you tell me that, remove it from your common.js. JJPMaster 21:09, 23 June 2023 (UTC)
From mobile interface for iPhone it states: false. From desktop interface for iPhone it states: null.--Executive (talk) 09:19, 24 June 2023 (UTC)
I just wanted to let you know that we have deployed a locally hosted service for that JS thing you added to MediaWiki:Common.js because having all page loads for all users w/ JS enabled (which is something like 99.99% of the userbase) hit an external service out of our control is Not Cool™.
Please let me know if this causes any inconvenience or if you need something similar in the future, or just a helping hand with code-related matters and the like. While being bold is much appreciated on most wiki sites and in most cases, it's okay to be reserved about privacy-sensitive matters and having those kind of edits OK'd by one of us. I promise we do our best to not bite people...very often, anyways!
Already done. 
Fixed
I'm sorry... :( 
Boner.
