Protected page

User:JJPMaster/mp

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
174 active editors • 40,183 articles in English

From today's featured article 

Sperm today.jpg

Rounded head, stretched tail, as white as silk, they are alive, yet they hold the most magical history humankind could ever find. Sperm usually come in groups of two or three million sperm cells. They support each other, all the while fighting their way to individualism to reach the so-called egg cell. Sperms are like hippies: they all stink, all of them are the same, but we can't just have enough of them.

Most sperm cells can live up to five days, although this lifespan may vary greatly. Some people, usually aged 15 to 22 have sperm cells aged only a day, sometimes two, and when these sperms die, they need to "ejaculate" them out, literally. Others, however, can hold their sperm up to two weeks, while old people can hold theirs up to a year, possibly two. This data may seem interesting and convincing, but it does not represent the demographics of people who play World Of Warcraft and Second Life.

During the production and delivery, until penetration, a sperm cell will explore many different worlds that no one could ever possibly venture to. Different colours, different atmospheres, different tastes and different pressures; they will feel all of that. A chronicle of a sperm cell. It is so cool that the word "story" was replaced by "chronicle". (Full article...)

Did you know... 

654-easter-bunny-2007-1-.jpg
  • ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)

In the news 

Taco (5076902674) (2).jpg

Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG and Stranger Things 5 • Russian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictTrump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1Rick DerringerCarolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom QueenJohn Redcorn

Upcoming deaths: DEIGoogle's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenNew York Knicks' future success

On this day 

Nosferatu!

June 5: Vampire Appreciation Day

  • 1879 - Politics invented, price of shit skyrockets due to high demand.
  • 1956 - Walt Disney is frozen and his head incinerated in a series of funny mishaps.
  • 1973 - Henry Kissinger mistakenly orders the CIA to overthrow the government of Chile, Kissinger later says "oops" to media.
  • 1989 - The people of Germany celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall, are later disappointed to learn the Capitalists won.
  • 2001 - God sues Google over Google Earth due to breaching copyright.
  • 2002 - Nosferatu flickers the lights at a local burger joint, to the relief of the workers therein. (Pictured)
  • 2009 - Twilight movie is released, vampires protest at gross misrepresentation and are subsequently annihilated by the sunlight.

Picture of the day

Mickeys
Mickeys - the drug of choice for today's trendy ravers.

Image credit: Rcmurphy
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,183 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.