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- 1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte can't get any sig on the island of St. Helena.
- 1876 - Thomas Edison receives a patent for his mimeograph, which duplicates mimes.
- 1940 - The German Luftwaffe begin bombarding Great Britain with international text messages carrying sky-high roaming rates.
- 2008 - Wait just a sec, I have a call. Hello? Yeah. Yeah. No, they're right here. I don't know, something about an anniversary. Hah, yeah, I know. And that stupid-looking hat, yeah. Oh, sorry, I gotta let you go.
- 2021 - Shit, sorry, this is the last call, I promise. Hey. It's on the table. It's on the table. On the table. The table. On the - it's on the FUCKING TABLE! THE TABLE! ON THE TABLE!