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August 26: Creationism Vs. Evolution Annual Boxing Match/International Ameobic Birthday/The day before the day after Tomorrow
- 200,000,000,000,000,000 BC - God Creates existence. By creating existence, and simultaniously existing before existance, He created a paradox that came alive and tore a hole in the universe. Out of that hole, several thousand extremely surprised roadside diner waitresses named "Tiff" floated and suddenly (and not that surprisingly) died of asphyxiation.
- 12,032 BC - Wheel was invented by Sally and Bill Thompson from Scunthorpe UK.
- 5000 BC - Creationists evolve from homo sapiens.
- 1303 - Ala ud din Khilji won Chittor. It was behind door number 3.
- 1362 - Nothing happened. At all.
- 1567 - A great feast held by Duke Crisco The Lard is held at his home in Edinburgh. The resulting mass cannibalism is atributed to the duke's great hunger for "Scots"
- 1963 - August 26th is designated the official birthday of all ameobas by their UN Representative.
- 1971 - The discovery that God created Evolution makes scientists and theologians come together in a peace pact signed by the seventh incartion of Charles Darwin (a slightly confused Chimpanzee named BoBo) and the Mecha-Pope (a blue 1965 oldsmobile named Oldsmobile Model #32415 Serial:45563901).
- 1980 - The peace pact ends when Jerry Falwell decides to test everyone's faith by defying logic, saying that the entire universe was created in a 7 24 hour day period.
- 1981 - The right wing nutjobs abandon science and logic to be creationists, while the [[left wing liberal sissies abandon all hope of spiritual salvation and Heaven to be evolutionists.
- 1990 - At a creation/evolution debate, creationists kick the evolutionist's asses when they use the argument: Where did the ball that started the big bang come from?
- 1997 - God seeing all the confusion between the creationists and evolutionists reacts to it by doing absolutely nothing.
- 2008 - Another poorly written comedy article that nobody will ever read appears on uncyclopedia.
- 2025 - A pastor begins to question creationism.
- 2040 - After 60 years of pointless debates from 2 sides which both have truth, creationists and evolutionists come together once again and finally agree that God created evolution. There is now peace on earth and everyone lives happily ever after :-)