User:Bad Motherfucker
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![]() Get fucked. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
Born |
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Other names | Sodapoppers | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Education | Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College
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Awards | Medal of Honor (x13), Nobel Crime Prize(x32), Hall of Shame | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Website | https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3tRt0UbRtgdtlbpWGSujR0?si=72abd79c89ca4d91 | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Allegiance | Blackman crime family, Mozzarella crime family, Parmesan crime family, Whiteman crime family, Bubbles crime family | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Criminal charge |
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Reward amount | ![]() | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Wanted by |
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Partner(s) | Jimmy Blackman, Jimmy Mozzarella, Jimmy Parmesan, Jimmy Whiteman, Milwaukee Cheese Bandit, Bubbles the Clown | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Wanted since | September 21, 2022 (join date) | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Time at large | September 21, 2022 - ???? | ||||||||||||||||||||||
Number of edits: 1,445
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HALL OF SHAME MEMBER, PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!!!
Hello! You're now wanted by every single federal agency in the United States. Get fucked.
You voted for " in the stripped club. straight up jorking it. and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My peanits" on 18 November 2023 at 20:56. You can change your vote by clicking a different answer below.
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5
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There were 7 votes since the poll was created on 20:04, 5 June 2023.
poll-id 4F1CED6E0D582E5E726F838EE5EF0313
Articles I've created[edit | edit source]
- Jimmy Mozzarella (featured, 5th place in Top 10 Articles of 2022)
- Jimmy Blackman (featured, 2nd place in Top 10 Articles of 2022)
- Jimmy Parmesan (featured)
- Dick Willie Johnson (featured)
- Presidential Baseball Classic (featured)
- The Milwaukee Cheese Bandit (featured)
- The Dogs (featured)
- We Were Soldiers (featured)
- Presidential Bar Brawl Classic (featured)
- New Kentuckian Republic War
- Charles "Lucky" Luciano
- The Kentucky Derby
- Bubbles the Clown
- Decathlon
- UnNews:Joe Biden hit by semi-truck
- Jimmy Whiteman
- Chad Thundercock
- Rick Grimes (needs work)
- Satan vs. Tyson (needs work)
About me[edit | edit source]
I've been told I have a pretty kickass afro(the military took it away!)- I'm in the Kentucky Army National Guard, fighting for your freedom and fried chicken since 2023!
Fun facts about me[edit | edit source]
- The only person to duel Clint Eastwood and survive
- Inventor of the penis balloon
Things I've learned the hard way[edit | edit source]
- Do not honk Ronald McDonald's nose
Words and quotes to live by[edit | edit source]
“ | What I want in a woman is protection. Loyalty. Companionship. Friendship. Ferociousness. I want her to protect me, and have my back to the bitter end. If I have a fight, I want her to jump in, even if I’m winning, even if she’s ninety pounds. I like strong women – not necessarily a masculine woman – but say a woman who runs a CEO corporation, a woman with confidence. Massive confidence. And then I want to tattoo my name on her ass and dominate her sexually. | ” |
“ | This is the best mustard I've ever tasted! | ” |
“ | Know your hole... and stuff your mouth... | ” |
— Dwayne "The Croc" Johnson
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“ | Where there is baseball, there is bound to be MILFs. | ” |
— Me
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“ | That's some grand cleavage, madam. | ” |
— Me
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“ | Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. | ” |
“ | I miss my ex-wife... SIKE lol | ” |
“ | she's dead i killed her | ” |
“ | First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of Uncyclopedia bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but all of Uncyclopedia is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP! | ” |
— Me, technically
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“ | America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed. | ” |
— Eleanor Roosevelt
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JOIN THE UNCYCLOPEDIA MARSHALS SERVICE![edit | edit source]
Awesome! A dollar![edit | edit source]
What I've been doing[edit | edit source]
- Burning down city hall and banging the mayor's wife
- Fingering the president's wife
- Placing banana peels on the top of stairs
- Watching an elderly person struggle with opening a jar and saying "Allow me," only to tighten it even more
- Throwing shit at people, like a monkey
- Releasing a gorilla in a fake looking gorilla suit inside of a mall
- Screaming "There's a hawk up my ass!"
- Punting babies and small animals into tornados
- Throwing hotdogs at the mall cop
- Shooting wizards with shotguns
- Rigging port-a-potties to explode
- Pawning war medals
- Assassinating the CEO of Skittles
- Snorting three lines of gunpowder and eating a stick of deodorant
- Robbing Fort Knox
- Loudly struggling to open a Snickers bar in the Vatican
- Torturing Colonel Sanders for the 11 secret herbs and spices
- Why the fuck should I tell you?
- Taping worms to myself and swallowing dirt
- Naming my dick Notorious because it's B.I.G.
- Having thirty sons named Chad
- Sewing two hamsters together
- Kidnapping baby monkeys and raising them
- Disregarding bitches and acquiring currency
- Getting stabbed to death by a man in a sombrero
- Smoking a ridiculously huge cigar
- Running over the cheerleaders
- Hilariously chasing down a crying toddler with a lawnmower
- Killing Private Ryan
- Leaving goblins in the Denny's dumpsters
- Pissing directly into a toaster
- Stealing the Coca-Cola recipe
- Watching a magician fuck up over and over again
- Smuggling people into Italy for $20 dollars and a handjob
- Destroying the Pyramids of Giza
- Enslaving Bigfoot
- Slowly weakening the glass at the world's largest aquarium
- Stealing Tobuscus' online identity in a drawing game (This one is actually true, I was 10 years old, and it was actually in one of his videos)
- Chugging lava lamps
- Being Loud on the Western Front
- Getting shot by Clint Eastwood while Morgan Freeman narrates it
- Beating up Uncle Pep Pep
Things I've pondered about[edit | edit source]
Will He Bonk Ya In The Chocolate Blactory?
GAMBLE! GAMBLE! GAMBLE![edit | edit source]
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