User:Bad Motherfucker
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Get fucked. |
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Writer of the Year 2023 |
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 Get fucked. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Born |
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| Other names | Sodapoppers | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Education | Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College
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| Awards | Hall of Shame, Writer of the Year 2023 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Website | https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3tRt0UbRtgdtlbpWGSujR0?si=72abd79c89ca4d91 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Allegiance | Blackman crime family, Mozzarella crime family, Parmesan crime family, Whiteman crime family, Bubbles crime family | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Criminal charge |
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Reward amount |  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Wanted by |
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| Partner(s) | Jimmy Blackman, Jimmy Mozzarella, Jimmy Parmesan, Jimmy Whiteman, Milwaukee Cheese Bandit, Bubbles the Clown | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Wanted since | September 21, 2022 (join date) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Time at large | September 21, 2022 - ???? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 Number of edits: 2,534
 NOT SAFE FOR WORK!! This user says things that may not be work safe.
 This user's sex appeal is such that people around the world compulsively shout their name during intercourse.
 Go eat shit fuckers! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
HALL OF SHAME MEMBER, PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!!!
Hello! You're now wanted by every single federal agency in the United States. Get fucked.
Please vote below. Results will be shown when you have voted.
You are not entitled to view results of this poll before you have voted.
You are not entitled to view results of this poll before you have voted.
There were 17 votes since the poll was created on 20:04, 5 June 2023.
poll-id 4F1CED6E0D582E5E726F838EE5EF0313
Articles I've created
- Jimmy Mozzarella (featured, 5th place in Top 10 Articles of 2022)
- Jimmy Blackman (featured, 2nd place in Top 10 Articles of 2022)
- Presidential Bar Brawl Classic (featured, 1st place in Top 10 Articles of 2023)
- We Were Soldiers (featured, 9th place in Top 10 Articles of 2023)
- Dick Willie Johnson (featured, honorable mention in Top 10 Articles of 2023)
- Jimmy Parmesan (featured)
- Presidential Baseball Classic (featured)
- The Milwaukee Cheese Bandit (featured)
- The Dogs (featured)
- UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies (featured)
- Jimmy Whiteman (featured)
- Trump vs. Biden (featured)
- Bubbles the Clown (featured)
- Pepperpot Pete (featured)
- My Brawl With Santa Claus on Christmas 1978 (featured)
- New Kentuckian Republic War
- Charles "Lucky" Luciano
- Kentucky Derby
- Decathlon
- UnNews:Joe Biden hit by semi-truck
- Chad Thundercock
- UnNews:Biden wins 2024 election
- Rick Grimes (needs work)
- Satan vs. Tyson (needs work)
Fun facts about me
- The only person to duel Clint Eastwood and survive
- I am the inventor of the penis balloon
- I have 900 million pennies
- I've walked across the Sahara Desert with only a pack of Newports and a fifth of Henny
- I possess the JFK Love Files
- I once fought the law, and I won
- I hosted a Michael Jackson concert in Hell, and he's still performing there to this day
- My personal car is the O. J. Simpson Bronco
- I also used to drive Bonnie and Clyde's death car, but I traded it for the Bronco
- I wrecked Dale Earnhardt at the Talladega 500
- I was the first person to receive fellatio on Mount Everest
Things I've learned the hard way
- Do not honk Ronald McDonald's nose
Words and quotes to live by
| “ | What I want in a woman is protection. Loyalty. Companionship. Friendship. Ferociousness. I want her to protect me, and have my back to the bitter end. If I have a fight, I want her to jump in, even if I’m winning, even if she’s ninety pounds. I like strong women – not necessarily a masculine woman – but say a woman who runs a CEO corporation, a woman with confidence. Massive confidence. And then I want to tattoo my name on her ass and dominate her sexually. | ” |
| “ | This is the best mustard I've ever tasted! | ” |
| “ | Know your hole... and stuff your mouth... | ” |
— Dwayne "The Croc" Johnson
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| “ | Where there is baseball, there is bound to be MILFs. | ” |
— Me
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| “ | That's some grand cleavage, madam. | ” |
— Me
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| “ | Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. | ” |
| “ | I miss my ex-wife... SIKE lol | ” |
| “ | she's dead i killed her | ” |
| “ | First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of Uncyclopedia bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but all of Uncyclopedia is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP! | ” |
— Me, technically
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| “ | America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed. | ” |
— Eleanor Roosevelt
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JOIN THE UNCYCLOPEDIA MARSHALS SERVICE!
Awesome! A dollar!
What I've been doing
- Burning down city hall and banging the mayor's wife
- Fingering the president's wife
- Placing banana peels on the top of stairs
- Watching an elderly person struggle with opening a jar and saying "Allow me," only to tighten it even more
- Throwing shit at people, like a monkey
- Releasing a gorilla in a fake looking gorilla suit inside of a mall
- Screaming "There's a hawk up my ass!"
- Punting babies and small animals into tornados
- Throwing hotdogs at the mall cop
- Shooting wizards with shotguns
- Rigging port-a-potties to explode
- Pawning war medals
- Assassinating the CEO of Skittles
- Snorting three lines of gunpowder and eating a stick of deodorant
- Robbing Fort Knox
- Loudly struggling to open a Snickers bar in the Vatican
- Torturing Colonel Sanders for the 11 secret herbs and spices
- Why the fuck should I tell you?
- Taping worms to myself and swallowing dirt
- Naming my dick Notorious because it's B.I.G.
- Having thirty sons named Chad
- Sewing two hamsters together
- Kidnapping baby monkeys and raising them
- Disregarding bitches and acquiring currency
- Getting stabbed to death by a man in a sombrero
- Smoking a ridiculously huge cigar
- Running over the cheerleaders
- Hilariously chasing down a crying toddler with a lawnmower
- Killing Private Ryan
- Leaving goblins in the Denny's dumpsters
- Pissing directly into a toaster
- Stealing the Coca-Cola recipe
- Watching a magician fuck up over and over again
- Smuggling people into Italy for $20 dollars and a handjob
- Destroying the Pyramids of Giza
- Enslaving Bigfoot
- Slowly weakening the glass at the world's largest aquarium
- Stealing Tobuscus' online identity in a drawing game (This one is actually true, I was 10 years old, and it was actually in one of his videos)
- Chugging lava lamps
- Being Loud on the Western Front
- Getting shot by Clint Eastwood while Morgan Freeman narrates it
- Beating up Uncle Pep Pep
- Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay
- Conquering Nevada
Things I've pondered about
- Will He Bonk Ya In The Chocolate Blactory?
- Is Abraham Lincoln allowed to say the n-word?
GAMBLE! GAMBLE! GAMBLE!
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My list of prestigious and totally legit awards and accomplishments
| Active Users on Uncyclopedia | |
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