Rollback
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Rollback is a special user right that allows a user who has it, known as a 'rollbacker', to revert the edits of the last user to a page in one click. This was originally only something admins could do, but it ended up also being given to non-admins as well. This was mainly done to make it even harder for innocent contributors to edit Wikipedia.[1]
Origin[edit | edit source]
Once, many years ago, one of these innocent contributors suddenly realised that the titles of Wikipedia's articles were all horribly wrong and needed to be corrected, and he took it upon himself to correct them. However, the Wikipedians, closed-minded and bitey as they are, didn't think too much of this; they did what they could to undo what they called his 'page-move vandalism'. Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for the innocent editor they had decided to mercilessly attack, there was no such thing as a rollbacker, and it was hard for them to restore their twisted idea of order.[2]
But this changed.
They realised that this could not go on - their goal of providing as incorrect and unusable an encyclopedia as possible would not work very well if people kept coming in and fixing it up. They decided the admins could not handle their task alone, so they created a new user group for those who were suckups enough to get the approval of the supposedly nonexistent cabal. This new user group was called rollback.
Requesting rollback rights[edit | edit source]
Requesting rollback rights has become quite a popular activity on Wikipedia. This is no surprise, considering that most people have a natural desire for more power - but one must keep in mind that those who already have it are often unwilling to share. It's just too much fun to clean up stuff all by yourself. Therefore, if one really wants to become a rollbacker, the steps to follow are hard purely because they can be. In fact, they are complicated enough that they ought not be described here in too much detail.[3]
The stated requirement for becoming a rollbacker are a history of fighting vandalism correctly. This, however, is not entirely accurate; firstly because 'vandalism' is not what it seems, and secondly because that is not what is required at all. The only requirement is that you suck up to the admins, i.e. do exactly as they say and not make them mad. If you make them mad they will block you, and it will stay there on your reputation like an accusation of witchcraft.
Because you probably are a witch, then.
Rollback on other wikis[edit | edit source]
Wikipedia might be the most important of the wikis, but it has many shadows, including Uncyclopedia and Illogicopedia. On both of these the process of becoming a rollbacker is rather different, though it involves roughly the same principles.
On Uncyclopedia, you just have to get an admin to like you; you don't have to fight vandalism or anything. This is because Uncyclopedia is not concerned with whether its information is accurate or not, which generally results in its being more accurate - but that is only a coincidence.
On Illogicopedia, you have to win the Illogicopedian of the Month award. This is similarly arbitrary, but as it depends on the judgement of the community rather than that of an individual administrator, it should come as no surprise that Illogicopedia is by far the most accurate encyclopedia of the three we have discussed.
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ For Wikipedia is where all these things begin, though they sometimes spill into other places and briefly give them the illusion of true importance.
- ↑ Until they blocked him, of course; yet another invention designed to keep Wikipedia inaccurate, and further abused by its many shadows, including the one you're on right now. In fact I'm writing this under a sock right now because that way they won't find me. Don't tell on me.
- ↑ Though certainly not as complicated as the steps required to become an administrator. Those are not only too complicated to describe, but too much of many other things as well.