User:Nacky

I have no idea how to align stuff on here. I've got places to go, people to see, and I've seen better days. At this point, we're just waiting for stupid Wormwood to make up its mind. It's rather frustrating. Armageddon just got ridiculous and we're all still pushing pencils. I don't know how to do stuff on here only the basics. I'm sure I'll get into some kind of trouble. Unless everyone is just as hyper as me, we'll all get along. I like stuff that mocks other stuff. I was involved in a lot of things that happened although I wasn't necessarily there. Can I go home now?

I, myself, am strange and unusual.

This user is part of the Family… You've been warned…

This user has been adopted by Orian57.

♀

This user is a girl, and is made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice.

:o

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

...

This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

This user is owned by one or more cats.

I'm from a Jovian Planet. And we do have atmospheres. So there. I'm given tasks all over the solar system and at the moment I'm tending to a small moon that Mars has constructed, with an 81 mile diameter. It's been on the fritz and a sad deep gloom has engulfed it.

Random fly-bys are joyously carried out with the help of Gwax and sometimes I see Gwax on a cloud of nines. I like bubbles. I like baskets, buckets, ironing boards and vacuum cleaners. They help. I also like containers. Not the plastic ones so much, I like the glass ones. Sometimes ceramic ones. It just depends. I like Mhaille's Zodiak pic. He's also from another planet so we get along. I don't know who that other guy is. I would have mentioned him by name, but I can only refer to him as that other guy. There's not too many other guys by that same name so people should know who I'm referring to. BTW this is Gwax. Thanks for stopping by.

Some Satire, Historical Events and all round Meh[edit | edit source]

I was there. Then I wasn't there. I wanted to play the Medieval character that resembled a peasant princess who was an undercover ninja assassin. But for some reason that was undoable. These events are based on a time between the 20th Century going into the 21st Century presenting itself as somewhere between The Festival of Fools in 1120 A.D. to Samhain in 1200 A.D. Would you believe these events are a result of the various vortexes scattered around the world purely to keep everyone in timelines of the past while practicing necromancy on the yet living?

“In Smugville, you get squashed by Smugs”
– Anonymous

“In Soviet Russia, Squash smugs YOU!!”
– Russian Reversal

“Oh look at all these politicians! Time to break out the chainsaws!”
– Nacky on the overall situation with politics anywhere

“In America you can break a chainsaw, in Soviet Russia, chainsaw breaks YOU!!”
– Russian Reversal

Submissions
Lyircs
Random
My Office

Stressing[edit | edit source]

I sure hope no one thinks I'm still there among the smugs. I'm not. I know it's come up lately, and I don't know why. I haven't had any run-ins with anyone (except Betty the Indian Fancier) but she was more into Pow-Wows than SCA. So that doesn't count. Walmart. It's the Walmart. Betty was there. We saw her. She glanced at us, and limped out into the parking lot. She seemed to be in a hurry. Don't know. Ain't gonna worry about it, either. So anyway, did I ever mention that I just adore Mr. X? But back to the SCA and the myriad of happenings. It's this little instance that involves a cauldron. I'm stressing over it. Now, sure I make stuff up for here, for good copy, for the laughs. But recently there was an issue with a vanity thing. And see, there are a lot of little tales within the big story about this Smuggish SCA thing. And one of the little situations I was barely involved in, involved a cauldron. So, shh, okay? I will tell you.

So there was this old abandoned store, it was more like an old convenience store on a corner out in the middle of what is called "The Bottomlands" or "The Bottoms" which is a lot of (I guess) farming land in the more obscure parts of Van Buren. It's literally as out in the country as you'd imagine. You can hear nothing but nature out there. If you hear a car, you're in rush hour. You get the idea.

Slooow burn.

So this little store seemed to still have some activity going on in there, when I was last there. A Pepsi machine stood outside on its little deck, and there was an old counter inside that did have things scattered all over it. But no one was ever there, even when it was obviously open. The lights seemed to work. But in the back, against an old crumbling wall, there sat a cauldron. Big fucker, too. It was huge. When a discussion came up at a meeting, someone mentioned obtaining a cauldron for the next event. Some feast and war games, the usual. And another lady said we should really have a cauldron and even quipped that she would steal it if she had to. Then I smiled and remembered this old store. Years had passed since I was even there, so the chances of the cauldron still being there were very slim. But I told them all about it. So a few nights later, I found myself with some of the SCA peeps driving to this damned store. It was abandoned alright. The Pepsi machine was gone, and the inside was gutted. Even the door was rotted and barely stood in the door frame. No lights.

So one of the guys lit his torch up (flashlight, okay?) and we inched into this creepy little place. That fucking cauldron was still there! I couldn't believe it. So I suggested that we should try to steal it. Cobwebs were everywhere. But the cauldron was calling. We managed to get out the door with it, but there were a million bugs that were living in it. So we all ran. The brave men, knights in shining armor hauled that thing onto the back of their truck and we were all off. Following them while cheering and laughing that we got a cauldron. But the thing was obviously cursed. It was cleaned out, but nobody was going to make anything in there. The cast iron was restored, and it seemed okay. But there were too many of us who saw the condition it was in previously.

We would watch in awe as someone (who wasn't there) actually go ahead and use it to boil water in, or make stew. And we watched in anticipation as the unwitting actually ate food cooked in that thing. To see if they would keel over. This caused some tensions. I, personally, didn't think it was funny but I laughed anyway. Maybe it was a nervous laugh? But those of us involved in the caper would sit around at events and sometimes talk about what could happen. What didn't happen. What was supposed to have happened. And how the cauldron became a sort of legend.

And that is why I am stressing, because it reminds me of this Gilligan's Island episode, where they got a hold of something and all hell breaks loose. Not to mention there were cauldrons in the show. In one show I think the natives were trying to cook Gilligan in one. I don't want anyone to think that the Cast Iron Cauldron of Catastrophe is a vanity page. Because I can drum up something so much more than this odd bit of history. But I think, that maybe, it will be seen as that especially if I link to any mention of the Smugs. I just have this story about it, that I can work into a parody of some kind.

I write too much. I just can't help myself.

It's Always Something![edit | edit source]

You shall not pass!

Everyone was just hanging out in Moria, then a Balrog came. And then there's Mordor. Hanging out in Mordor can be a real bummer. It's the Eye Beam contraption that really blows chunks. Ironically it's something that it will eventually do that. But in the meantime, gotta be careful.

There's a giant ass spider behind you and your hair is on fire.

I had some lyrics I thought up.

I had a dream about getting away from here
But Mordor is warmer than over there
It has a lot of clouds and fire, but orcs are near
And I can't see any eagles in the air

But one time I did see some eagles flying
But they went for the volcanic crevice
Those dumb wraiths had been spying
And some weird creature kept saying 'my precious'

Life in Mordor sucks but it's better than Helm's Deep
You couldn't pay me to go out there
Still Mordor sucks even when I sleep
And I can't do a thing with my hair!

I don't have any melody to go with this, so I just kinda use the theme from the Brady Bunch. I don't know why. It would work sorta kinda with the theme from Gilligan's Island. But might work better with Green Acres. My mind is a blank after considering the possibilities and really it's just not a good idea to sing anything in Mordor. Well, there is one little jiggle that they do sing. Something about a whip.

Cthulhu[edit | edit source]

So I finished this medley I was working on. This Medley about Cthulhu and I happened to gain a few followers from it. I am on my way for sure. Mock mock mock, taunt taunt taunt. I am mocking and I am taunting. I know it's probably futile, but it makes me feel better. And well, meh. They look good, don't they? It works for me. Now that that's all done and out of the way, I can get back to writing stuff on here. Mock mock, taunt taunt, and more of the same. No one is ready, and everyone dies from the waiting to be ready. But it was never to be ready and they got everyone all worked up to be delivered unto some horrible sea monster. It's wrong, I know. Everything is all wrong. So I mock them. What else can I do? Mock mock, mockity mock. Taunt. Annoy. Aggravate. More mocking. It gets to be easier. No sense of eagerness, or anticipation. It comes down to just the mocking. I shall haunt them as a ghost and mock them from the lands of the dead. I wasn't always a cultist. I had a life once. A purpose. Actually, no. The purpose of being a fucking wage slave is no purpose. I want to scratch and bite and do catwoman things. Anyway now I'm being dragged to my death...

I Just Can't Have Nice Things[edit | edit source]

As of today I was basically told that if I kept stirring the pot on mythical beasts, they would be deleted for being a menace. Was also informed that the creature features were unfunny and painful to read. Confidence level back to zero. So setting fire to a bale of hay isn't allowed. AND to make matters worse, I'm subjected to having to wear a broken hair accessory. Gawd!

And I disapprove and I complain. I went out of my way to create those gifs, those pics, making them to spruce up the pages like that. To make them extra. To be a laugh riot. And all I get for my creative spiel is how the admins have seen these as suspicious and veiled attacks against their reptilian agenda. I wasn't even there. And I wasn't turning anything into a handbag. It was a coarse vinyl! I am saddened. Bewildered even. Nobody understands. I grew up on Norman Leer and Blake Edwards. In syndication, but still. 😒 Just whatever.

Update: I can't prove it, but I do suspect that they are somehow out to get me. So I will disapprove and complain about this, too.

Update Again: Why is everyone trying to kill me? This is why I can't have nice things!

Anyway[edit | edit source]

Apparently I was involved with whatever this was; The UnProvise thing User:Orian57/UnProvise.

Blank Stare[edit | edit source]

Every damned day, I ask this simple question: Why is everyone on one?

I have a friend who's on reddit. A place I would not go without a gun! They are highly insane over there. Don't call pedos, pedos. Call them MAPs. It stands for something. Maybe it means Monster Asshole Predators? I don't know. So the Survey asked me this: What particular urban legends does your area have? So I answered: This whole place is batshit crazy and most everyone is a raving foaming psychopath. Hope that clears things up.

I remember this one guy. He was a total fruitcake. After it was melted down, seasoned with garlic, boiled in broth, and re-frozen in the depths of a freezer in the ice caverns of Saturn. I guess I can understand him, but he just didn't seem likable. In fact he was not! Yeah now I remember! I hated that guy!

Gallery[edit | edit source]

I would add all my pics I've made for this site, but I am sure I need sleep first.

Note: Some pics are not mine but I've included them here because I felt like it. The Black Sea uploads are mine. I'm particularly proud of those. And it's not like it was hard to do, but my pride mostly comes from the fact that I didn't have to actually go out to the Black Sea and photograph all of that. Safety first! I was also given permission by the aliens to keep the photos and animated gifs that you see here, lest one of the moons in this solar system have its mining rights terminated. We don't want that now, do we?