Mount Olympus

Mount Olympus in the afternoon. The nosebleed section.

“Near the Thermaic Gulf of the Aegean Sea, between Thessaly and Macedonia, between the regional units of Larissa and Pieria, about 80 km southwest from Thessaloniki and above the clouds of fancy there sits Mount Olympus. The pompous and lush dwelling castle city abode retreat and spa of the gods. Said to be the highest mountain in the world, it is the highest mountain in Greece, at least. The gods come and go as they please, but they bring a lot of material goods and wares into their lofty chambers, from the villages and shrines from the Greek countryside or anywhere else in the world. Shrines are located all over Greece so that the citizens (peasants) could make offerings. Most of Aphrodite's shrines had been strategically located on Fifth Avenue. Offerings to her included the latest designs in clothing and the newest trends of shoes. Shrines for Zeus and Apollo were along Rodeo Drive and the Mall of America, and shrines for Ares were usually Army Surplus Retailers. The gods of Olympus enjoyed shopping sprees on a daily basis thanks to the shrines located well below and away from their posh headquarters.”

~ The Greek Mortals Association

The palace of the Greek gods in ancient Greek times was built into the highest mountain pinnacles overlooking much of the earth below. Very high and not a good place to be if you had a fear of heights. But the gods couldn't be bothered with phobias that usually plagued the mortals. They could fly around and think nothing of it. The gods generally just hate humans. At times they really disliked goats. Maybe pigeons, too. Suffice it to say they just hated everybody. Not at all friendly or helpful, their real agenda was to never be bored and felt that everyone is Hitler.

The construction of the palace atop the staggering heights of the mountain wasn't so easy when they hired peasants and slaves to lay the foundation. When the gods had their generals round up all those people, they were never given the proper tools or mountain climbing gear to make it to the top. Most fell off the first rock a couple of dozen feet up the foothills. Some made it up over a thousand feet into the climb, had a good look from their vantage point, and plotted an escape. Only a very few made their way off the mountain and successfully escaped. Those were the few who called upon German contractors to build the palace. This was a smart move considering their skill at engineering. The gods put up with Hitler and the Gestapo until the palace was finished. Thereafter the gods ushered the Germans into a wagon shaped like a giant bug, dropped them off at Hades, and unleashed a vapor from a dragon's ass that gassed them and lead to them being cooked in giant vats of cabbage.

Goddamnit! Is Everyone Is Gay?

By nature the gods were cruel and sadistic. Aphrodite still made an effort to meddle in the affairs of humans and other gods. Prometheus being a more casual deity still enjoyed watching things burn, but allowed mortals to do his dirty work for him. Athena kept harping on, screaming about, and placing high piercing notes about the Harpies, Banshees, and Sirens. Zeus seemed to ignore the fact that his children that he had with mortal women weren't as horrible as his offspring that were full gods. But he still figured they shouldn't be living at the palace since they were related to mortals after all. He had standards.

The palace was more than three thousand acres of marble floors, steps, and columns. It had over twenty terraces and a giant swimming pool inside a larger aquarium room that housed the elusive hot air blow fish that didn't live in the water but floated around, breathing air. Inflating and deflating as it floated gracefully against the ceiling, the walls, and sometimes grazing the surface of the water in the pool. Hermes loved this feature the most. The stables housed all the unicorns the gods had horded. And there were other mythical and fantastical creatures that were staples at the palace. As long as they posed and looked pretty while the gods were hanging out and enjoying the good life.

HA!

It wasn't until the extra dramatic events of the Trojan War that their cozy, lofty paradise palace was brought down and left in a shambles. Although today there is a huge crater where the palace used to be, it's rumored that after Cassandra had went full-on nuclear kick-ass, and brought them all down that Jesus put the use of Prometheus' gift of the flamethrower to good use. Then followed that up with a wrecking ball hurled at it from a rocket launcher. Lulz.

Freaks & Greeks

Overview	Greece Ω Greeks Ω Greek Empire Ω Greek gods Ω Greek language Ω Greek mythology Ω Byzantine Empire
Locales	Ancient Greece Ω Athens Ω Delphi Ω Geece Ω Karpathos Ω Lesbos Ω Mount Olympus Ω Rhodes Ω Sparta Ω Thermopylae
People	Achilles Ω Alexander the Great Ω Andromeda Ω Aristotle Ω Cassandra Ω Euphonium Ω Euripides Ω Helen of Troy Ω Heraclitus Ω Hercules Ω Herodotus Ω Homer Ω Homo Ω Hypocrites Ω Idiocrates Ω Mediocrates Ω Nike Ω Odysseus Ω Oedipus Ω Perseus Ω Phil the Greek Ω Phil Osophy Ω Plato Ω Pythagoras Ω Socrates Ω Sophocles Ω Testiclēs Ω Zorba The Greek
Gods & Titans	Aphrodite Ω Apollo Ω Ares Ω Athena Ω Chaos Ω Chronos Ω Cholera Ω Fatlas Ω Hades Ω Hermaphrodite Ω Hermes Ω Herpes Ω Medusa Ω Poseidon Ω Prometheus Ω Uranus Ω Zeus
Gastronomy	Olives Ω Olive oyl Ω Wheat Ω Ouzo Ω Souvlaki
Ingenuity	Comedy Ω Tragedy Ω Philosophy Ω Sodomy Ω Olympic Games
Literature	The Aeneid Ω The Destiniad Ω The Iliad Ω The Odyssey Ω Jason and the Argonauts