Isengard
“I got the tower. I got the orcs. I got the robes and a wizard's staff. I got my Palantír. I'll cut down all the trees, try to talk to Sauron about sharing the wealth and all I need is the One Ring to accomplish all of this. I know Gandalf escaped his imprisonment from here, went off to Rivendell to tell Elrond everything and now he's heading east with some hobbits. What devilry is this? Still I have Gríma Wormtongue holding the king of Rohan hostage. What could go wrong?”
Isengard is a watchtower where Saruman spies on anyone crossing the Gap of Rohan. It is the only place in Middle Earth to feature a gigantic turntable. Saruman was the only DJ in Isengard. But his record collection was pathetic. He rarely played any tunes, and when he did, it attracted all plant life to come around and perch somewhere just to listen to the calming sounds of the Mordor Bandits from Hell playing Where There's A Whip, There's A Way. Every animal and bird would also come and perch to listen to the music blaring out from Saruman's tower, which was named to sound as if he were thanking the orcs. Orcthank. As in thanks to the orcs. But cows loved the wild rhythms of the album and they, too, would perch and listen to it all day.
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Confusion About The One Tower[edit | edit source]
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A Wizard of Many Colors[edit | edit source]
After Gandalf escaped the clutches of the four-pronged rooftop, Saruman rode around for days on a Flying Cow wondering how anyone could get away from his tower and not be noticed. He figured Gandalf would see him coming from a mile away being dressed in blinding white wizard regalia. The yards and yards of white linen and polyester was like waving a white flag wherever he went. And the tower was in black tones and dark, dark grays. So he made plans to change things and remodel the place. He ordered new clothes from Kmart and bought more albums from Tower Records.
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The Two Colors of Towers in Off-White[edit | edit source]
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| The Good Guys: | Aragorn • Bilbo Baggins • Galadriel • Gandalf • Frodo Baggins • Gimli • Legolas • Meriadoc Brandybuck • Tom Bombadil • Treebeard
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| The Bad Guys: | Gothmog • Lord Sauron • Morgoth Bauglir • Saruman
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| Places: | Amon Amarth • Gondor • Isengard • Mordor • Rohan • Rip-Off Australia
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| Races: | Elves • Ents • Dwarves • Hobbits • Men • Orcs
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