User:Nacky/Smugkepe

This appears to be vanity.

It does, however, have to potential to be funny. Please edit  it until it is, or it shall die a terribly lonely death. If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.

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Ed Rye, lord of the Smugs

A small group of wannabe royalty in SCA, Smugkepe is run by four Inquisitioners; Bridget O'Foulen, Regnus du Anus, Ed Rye and Bastardoni. Bridget and Bastardoni are rumored to be Bea Arthur. These four have taken over a small village and have had all those who would dare live as carefree butterflies or other enchanted insects, i.e. not bow down to their authority, either beheaded or burned at a stake for defying them in an imaginary game. Smugkepe derives from the term Smug. It's unclear who invented the wording as the notorious Heretic who was condemned for a trite skuffle, is now killed off from the fake realm and therefore comments are unavailable. However Smug has been known to mean Stuffy. The term Kepe is basically the rest of the group who would do their bidding despite being yelled at by the bossy Bridget, mocked by the vain Regnus whose favorite sentences are "I've tolerated you about as much as I can" & "I am a true Christian and therefore better than everyone else", sneered at by Bastardoni, and snuckered by Ed Rye who likes to play cards with everyone as long as he's winning the game.

Smugs take themselves and SCA far too seriously and have eaten a frog to prove it. Half the group are vampires, the other half are chupacabras and the other small percent of the group are simply lost.

Smugkepe History

Evil Munchkin cloning by Smugs

In 1987, when Dixieland churches were transformed into castles to make way for indoor parades, social gatherings, scheduled executions and drinking meade - locals jumped to the opportunity to wear yards of regal colors and festive designs. The supply of helium, that was originally meant for the balloons, ended up in the collective lungs of the locals who spent a week talking like chipmunks. Bleary and dazed from such a thing, the group of four people who conducted the event, invented Smugkepe. The whole purpose of the Smugkepe shire was to create a clone version of the small branch of Munchkins who call themselves Grimaballs, thus the helium supply is a very important factor. Sure and snug in the hopes that they could pull off a fiasco this side of the Mississippi...they did by the grace of hippies. They scratched onto some documentations and made it legal. By 1990, they were fighting over who got to test the helium before passing it around to the populace.

Smugkepe Policies

When one analyzes the circumstances of the people of Smugkepe and traces the Leaders' responses to the changing forces within their village, the reasons for the Smug regime's predicted downfall becomes increasingly apparent: Ed Rye - famed for his outrageous peacock costume and adeptness at the "art of the politically possible" - will lose political power because he and his close associates has since drifted intellectually into a groupthink mentality characterized by an illusion of being well-dressed and invulnerable, which, in turn, may cause top martial law administrators a/k/a the fencers to lose their ability to assess accurately and realistically the impact of the regime's policies on the village as a whole. Here are the ideals and core beliefs of the Smug Leaders;

• An illusion of invulnerability that creates excessive optimism and encourages Smug Leaders to take extreme risks. Even when dressing in flimsy Roman garb.
• An unquestioned belief in the inherent morality of their laws, inclining Ed Rye and his close associates to ignore the ethical and moral consequences of their decisions. Their basic law is that no one who stands trial is allowed at their own trial and any e-mails that Bastardoni don't like is, by law, required to receive brutal beatings and sentenced to death.
• The rationalization and discounting of warnings regarding existing SCA law policies and actions. Including but not limited to refusal of being sued for violations of civil rights when they are listed as a "public" group, and then barring anyone who has different religious or ethnic backgrounds and being sued for violations of civil tights when they are listed as a "purple" group.
• Stereotyped views of Smugs' political enemies as too evil, weak, or stupid to warrant genuine attempts to negotiate or serious concern. i.e. They will negotiate with other kingdoms' royalty but will never, under any circumstances, mend fences with those whom they had abused and mistreated, or sentenced to death.
• The refusal of Smugs to tolerate differences of opinion within the regime itself. This means they are all one in purpose of being one purpose of one and none other.
• The protection of the Smug clique and their advisors from adverse information that might shatter their self-complacency about the effectiveness of their decisions. This protection against anyone who might slap them upside the head with truth, or a much-needed comb, is upheld at all times.
• The skeletons in the closets warrant a campaign to help hurricane victims so as to avoid facing the closets.
• Holding meetings were a lowly newbie is to be terminated must be held without the unfortunate soon-to-be-ex-member present so as to inflict further insult to injury.

Smugkepe Laws

Every Banana Republic would envy Smugkepe for its devastating sentences it carries out against all Heretics. It's not just the harsh punishments they dole out it's the fact they do it all while seeming to be politically correct and they'll smile for the cameras, and then turn around and scowl when no one's looking. They hate puppies.
List of punishments for pissing them off;

• Burned at a stake. (Unless the heretic is a pyromaniac)
• Put in the Iron Maiden. (Unless the heretic likes Iron Maiden)
• Put on the stretcher. (Unless it offers health benefits like fixing one's back, which in most cases, it did)
• Thrown in the dungeon after being flogged. (Since the dungeon consisted of cool rock, the victim could soothe their wounds)
• Excluded from meetings in which they will discuss what is to happen to you. Like being burned or stretched.
• Tied up to a railroad track until you come to your senses. (Unless a train gets to you first)
• Banned from everything except being forced into slave labor. (Lots of this one)
• Robbed of your sense of security with CIA tactics. (This involves destroying other kingdoms and then blaming it on you)