User:Nacky/Smugkepe/Regnus du Anus
Long ago, France had invaded other territories and then during WWII needed help in conquering the Nazis. The French were always pussies and very rude. Regnus du Anus is one such French personage. Coming from the persona Lord Rigormortis, who named himself Regné. The Lyon of Glen's Assbane. Regné is derived from the Latin term meaning Royal, Regal or King. Regné was aptly named Regnus du Anus Rigormortis because of his tight-assed ways and mean-spirited philosophy that usually rules over the populace with rigid discipline. When he was awarded with a title, he became a double noun that could also be used as Lord Lord, Royal Royal, King King and the most commonly used; High Royal Lord King Highness Godhead King Everyone-Laughs-At-Him-Because-He's-An-Idiot.
Rigormortis is said to have a tight upper-lip, which is usually in a curl of annoyance and frustration. Legend has it that he fell in love with Bea Arthur when he got drunk at a moot-and-moat ritual. He is often mistaken for Lord Byron. He was voted most likely to win awards. Blars is his bestest friend because he is just as horrible and as spazzed out on SCA.
Regnus Facts[edit | edit source]
- He had his swishy poke lubricated at a Fashionable Smithy Outlet.
- Had his ass kicked by Lord Fungus du Mold.
- Kicked the ass of Fredrick von Hollywoody.
- Had his ass kicked by the regulars at fighter practice.
- Had his ass kicked by some girls.
- Had his ass kicked by Tristan (who is quite gayly in the ass-kicking business).
- Had his ass kicked by my brother.
- Had his ass kicked by a little girl.
- Is pregnant with triplets.
Infamy[edit | edit source]
- Stole ATM machines after they had been stolen by robbers.
- Tried on every undergarment in Victoria's Secret.
- Slaughtered the French language.
- Spoke ghastly, unflattering, insulting English in a Polo shirt.
- Cooks only the worst Poop Cuisine.
- Will NOT feed the homeless or hungry, but begs for money.
- Smoked 45 packs of cigarettes in one day.
- Drank 45 bottles of beer in one night.
- Smoked and drank in a 48 hour binge of chocolate milk and pipeweed.
- Tried to kick the asses of some girls and had his ass kicked by them once again.
Nicknames given to Regnus by the populace[edit | edit source]
- Swishy Poke
- The Rapier Royale
- Duckman
- Asshole
- Michael Jackson
- The Duckman
- Joe
- Crappy Christmas Poet
- Fancy Pants
- Happy Manic Depressive
- Angry Smiley Swisher
- Sullen Grump du Boil
- Major Douchebag
- Ad Nauseam Rider of High Horses