User:Nacky/Smugkepe/Bridget O'Foulen
Bridget O'Foulen is someone You don't want to piss off, especially if you are very prone to large spider attacks, swarms of bees or anything remotely infested with killer ants' offspring. O'Foulen has mastered a way to make you a paranormal reading or a side effect that is quickly squished like lesser insects. She's a church lady type who gets downright mean and goes medieval on your ass if you so much as look the wrong way at her. She is rumored to have played the role of the swamp witch in Legend, the closet monster manifestation in Poltergeist and possibly the alien mother thing in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. She is a devout member of Christianthony and has a PhD in Major Douchebag-ness.
O'Foulen's Spokespersons[edit | edit source]
An interesting point here is that Jerry Falwell never mentions O'Foulen's name in any of his campaigns, though Regnus du Anus makes sure to mention her name in every single public speech, laden with compliments and mush galore. While Falwell acknowledges O'Foulen as a generous donator, he has only spoken of her generous donations to his ministry.
Falwell's ministry consists of a very small group of people. And his wife. In every possible record of their accomplishments, it lists the same things over and over. As if they were repeating history. It was par for the course, because their whole existence relied on repeating history. They were chronic enough to repeat only the parts of history that they were comfortable with. For instance; their power and influence were never questioned. And anyone who even dared to watch from a distance and whisper about the injustices of treating other villagers like their serfs without giving them the proper title of being a footstool so they could at least start somewhere, were promptly used as target practice. Then they would cheer and slap each other on the back. And if anyone would wince in pain, it would blow the cover of any formerly punished heretic from blending in with Falwell's group. Whenever that would happen, Falwell would bring down the wrath of his God and have his minions do their thing. Usually this consisted of being politically correct while turning you into a Biohazard.