User:Schism

Hello Uncyclopedians. I thought to myself this day, on April 25th, 2025, at near-fucking midnight...since I finally became a real damn user...maybe I should go make a user page! And that's exactly what

I have been playing Ultrakill non-stop since December of 2024. I am yet to get above a C-Rank on any Prime Sanctum or Encore, despite having P-Ranked everything else.
promouns	ultra/kill
hobby (not hobby lobby)	ultrakill
possible location	the 5th dimensional equivalent of the American southeast
possible species	Chicken Jockey, Schism, Homo IP, or maybe even a desk.
gender	INSIGNIFICANT FUCK! (male)
edit count	500+ as IP, like 10 with an account
how much do I use this account?	no
gender when cubed, squared, square root-ed, quintupled, and shat all over	florp
location every other hypersecond while in this plane of reality/existence	simultaneously Medicine Lodge, Oklahoma and hell's lust layer
(blank)ing it term/gooning phrase	Oh I am Schisming it, I am Schisming it so GOOD! Oh yeah, that's what I'm [+PARRY sound effect]ing about! Oh yes!
organs harvested	a fly's entire circulatory system (I think?)

you're reading. Right now. Sure, I don't know how to make these, but whatever, it's all trial and error. No, really. That's literally how I learn: by choosing the hard route every fucking time. And I also have a Userbox, using a format I semi-stole from L10nM4st3r.

My accomplishments

• Reaching 500+ edits as an IP (168.11.96.2)
• Writing the gen alpha article
• Trying and failing to make a U.S. economy article...
• Making like 50 articles that wound up in the ICU and dying of cancer
• Becoming known as the IP guy for like 2 years
• being an idiot
• Not knowing what else to put here

why i should become a mod

• no, I shouldn't
• i'd likely somehow accidentally ruin the entire site with my shitty source code skills
• fish
• I eat desks so I'm cool
• yes
• I totally have a sense of humor (I don't)

some templates that give you mild amounts of information

EN N

This user is a native speaker of English.

EN N

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)

sa 0.5

This user annoys people with their little to no knowledge of Sarcasm.

sa 0.5

Whack! You've been whacked with a wet trout. Don't take this too seriously. my own consciousness just wants to let you know that you did something silly, which may or may not include NOT MEMORIZING MY PASSWORD!!!

This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 25 days.

But does the time really count if my IP self has been here since 2024 or some shit? Well, if we want to go by that, it would look like:

This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 2 years, 1 month and 17 days.

But it's very disputable.

$$$

This user is a libertarian, so stay away from their wallet, hippie!

$$$

This user is a member of the ICU Doctoral Program.

This user is too lazy to log in to their account, instead they just use their IP.

This user likes to watch things explode.